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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Is it normal for your finace to masturbate when you are not with him?
Q. Is it normal for your fiance' to masterbate when you are not with him?...
A. 18 September 2007: Hi there,
It is perfectly normal for your fiancé to masturbate when you're not around. Masturbation is a normal, healthy thing that people do. It's a way to spend time with yourself, explore yourself, get rid of some stress...
As long as hi... (read in full...)
Am I being stupid?
Q. Am I being stupid? I have a great wife, who is a great mother with our children and in 12 years we have never had bad problems. My problem is that she had a couple of relationships in high school and as she says she was "forced to have sex". ...
A. 16 September 2007: If you have had a solid twelve years with no problems and true happiness and love, why are you messing it up now??
First of all, this has ALWAYS been in her past. Since day one when you met her, this has been the background of her life and up u... (read in full...)
He's got to go to a stag do at a strip club, I'm not happy about it...help!!!
Q. My BF is going for a Bachelore party next month - yeah,that doesnt sound like a big deal to you guys, but to me - I AM GOING NUTS! I don't agree with Strip clubs at all. I don't unerstand why guys go there. To me its the biggest disrespect to th...
A. 13 September 2007: Let me tell you, as a former employee of the adult dancing maket, those girls are not after your man. They have no interest in your man or any of the men in there. To them, your man is a big ol' $$ money sign.
There's no need to be threaten... (read in full...)
What is it called when a girl uses a sex toy on a guy??
Q. what is it called when a girl uses a dildo on a guy to shag them? me and my gf saw it during a porn vid we watched together and are extremely interested in trying it. If any1 has any experiences of this please can you give us sum tips to prep...
A. 13 September 2007: There's not really a term, but hey - experiment!! I know my boyfriend and I have ventured down that road a time or two. Enjoy and make sure that your girlfriend takes it nice and slow (with lots of lube!).
Enjoy!
xxIndia... (read in full...)
Some tips to help me orgasm from penetratiev sex?
Q. Hi, I need tips to help me orgasm from penatrive sex. I have never had an orgasm. My boyfriends penis size is fine, we have plenty of fore play too. I always orgasm during cunnilingus, am I too used to the thrill of oral sex maybe? Can you sugg...
A. 13 September 2007: Hey sweetess,
Well... as all the other aunt's have said, a little clitoral simulation will help you push yourself over the edge. I find the ol' "reach around", works - just use your own finger to pleasure yourself while he's penetrating. This usu... (read in full...)
What don't guys have that makes them not have kids?
Q. Hi, well this is going to sound qiuet like am a dope, and a bimbo but am really wondering this, I was watching a program and they said that the guy can't have kids, and i started wondering that they say a girl can't have kids if she never has had ...
A. 7 September 2007: Men don't have the uterus to carry the baby. there's no room for the baby to live in a man, not to mention - there's nowhere for the man to push out a full grown baby!
Only women can carry life - that's what makes us so cool.
xxIndia... (read in full...)
How can I get smaller boobs?
Q. This may come as an odd question but it is dear to heart for me. How can you make your boobs smaller? I am only talking about appearence wise. I claim this as odd because all my friends want bigger boobs, yeah at times I do too, but for this I c...
A. 6 September 2007: Just as "penta" said, a good sports bra will do the trick. I'm a C cup and when I use a really good sports bra, I look like a nine year old! I'd go to a sports store and find a hardcore bra that will flatten you out.
Congratulations on your job... (read in full...)
I know if I admit to having an affair he will go beserk as he gets very upset if I only just mention an ex's name in our conversation.
Q. I have been with my bf for 9 months. He's a lot younger than me (he's 22 and I'm 32), and he says this is the best relationship he's had, he loves me very much and almost puts me on a pedestal. I love him very much and feel the same, he's kin...
A. 6 September 2007: Break the news when you break things off. I think that you and this guy are on two different pages and are looking for different things. You're looking for some casual, open fun and he's looking for a committed, exclusive relationship. I don't think ... (read in full...)
I don't want to have sex just now but I have some questions about it for when I do decide to have it...
Q. Hey, I'm underage and I'm not planning to have sex till I'm at least 16 with the right guy at the right time. So that's not a problem. But when I do, I'm worried. First, I'm worried about getting undressed. What do boys think about pubic hair? ...
A. 6 September 2007: Hey sweetness,
It's okay to have questions! I'm glad you're waiting for the right guy, and I'm also glad that you're educating yourself so that you won't make any mistakes.
As for most of your questions, well - sex kind of just happens and you ... (read in full...)
Is what you see on porn films real or camera trickery????
Q. In a porn vidio i just watched, this guy put a ping pong ball in this girl's vagina. then he pushed it in so it was out of sight. Then he did something with her ass or something. i saw him put his finger's in her vagina, and fish out the ball.could ...
A. 5 September 2007: I'm sure it's possible, but it doesn't sound terribly safe (or sanitary, for that matter!). Porn isn't real life all the time... and people will do crazy things for a camera.
I don't know sweetheart. I wouldn't!!
xxIndia... (read in full...)
Is what you see on porn films real or camera trickery????
Q. In a porn vidio i just watched, this guy put a ping pong ball in this girl's vagina. then he pushed it in so it was out of sight. Then he did something with her ass or something. i saw him put his finger's in her vagina, and fish out the ball.could ...
A. 5 September 2007: I'm sure it's possible, but it doesn't sound terribly safe (or sanitary, for that matter!). Porn isn't real life all the time... and people will do crazy things for a camera.
I don't know sweetheart. I wouldn't!!
xxIndia... (read in full...)
Sex has become routine after a year together. Anyone got any tips to spice it up a bit?
Q. Me and my bf have been together for over a year and have been having sex for about a year and things in the bedroom feel like a routine. can u help me maybe give me tips on how i can spice up our sex life please, we like extreme things to do, its ...
A. 1 September 2007: Oooh! Go to an adult store together! Tons of toys = tons of fun! Try scarves (tying each other up or blindfolding each other), or maybe busting out some vibrators (not just fun for you!!). Adult toy stores are SO. MUCH. FUN. to explore together - ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesn't seem very turned on with oral sex. Am I just doing it wrong or is it her?
Q. My girlfriend doesn't seem to get very turned on with oral sex. Am I just doing it wrong or is it just her? I've known her for a while, and I've spent a lot of time giving her oral sex. I usually go in deep and long (about an hour) but I've n...
A. 1 September 2007: Good advice from everyone. I'm just putting in my two cents... I'm not really a big fan of oral sex. It just doesn't do anything for me. Doesn't matter if the guy is a champ or anything - I'm just not feeling it.
It might be that your girlfrie... (read in full...)
Can the size of your vagina change?
Q. Can the size of your vagina change? Or, does it just stay "tight" if it is that way, or loose if it is that way? My guy sometimes will say that mine isn't tight, and it hurts my feelings....
A. 1 September 2007: Everyone else gave you great answers... I'm just chiming in with my two cents: your guy is a major jerk if he says that to you.
Your vagina can loosen up a little bit after child birth, but otherwise it can't loosen very much. I think your man... (read in full...)
Should a guy satisfy the girl first and then themselves??
Q. Is it just me, or should guys care about satisfying the girl first, and then themselves during sexual relations? It just seems like the guy I am with only cares about pleasing himself. ...
A. 1 September 2007: Hey sweetness,
Well, if the guy ends up satisfying himself first (which, let's face it - can happen, even if by accident), he should make DAMN sure he satisfies his woman afterwards.
As Salad Barbarian (great name!!) said, if you're feeling a... (read in full...)
He left me and our 3 children twice, for someone else, but now says he wants us back. AGAIN. What should I do?
Q. Hi I had three children with my partner of 9 years. He left me during my second pregnancy but I gave him a second chance and we got back together. He then left me when I was 7 months pregnant with our 3rd child after having an affair with a (r...
A. 1 September 2007: Geeze, isn't this guy something?
He leaves you during not one, but TWO pregnancies. PREGNANCIES of all things... you're sweet enough to give him one more chance (which I think is crazy, but alright.), but again?!?
Shame on this guy. Don't ... (read in full...)
How can I break it off with her after all this time?
Q. I want to quit my present relationship because there's no communication, she does not call. I'm tired of it and not happy most times when I flash back. How do I break this relationship of 1 year and 7 months?...
A. 1 September 2007: Hey sweetness,
Well, the best I can tell you is to just DO IT. The more time you take to break it off, the worse it will hurt her when you do it. Be honest and upfront about it - try to leave it so that she won't have many questions. Give her what... (read in full...)
Is a £95 necklace enough or too much for my girlfriends birthday?
Q. Hey .. i was just wondreing.. its my gf birthday a few days after our 6 month...and i got her a £95 white gold heart necklace..do you think thats too much or too little (or just right lol).. thank you :):)...
A. 27 August 2007: Hey sweetness,
I think if you're serious about this girl, I think your gift is just right. It's thoughtful and something that she can cherish forever. You sound like a very sweet (and generous) boyfriend. Your girl is really lucky!
Hope sh... (read in full...)
Thanks everyone.
Q. Hi I'd just like to say a thank you to everyone on this site. After going through a breakup 7 months ago and feeling absolutely devastated. Reading all the problems and answering a few myself has been very therapeutic. I feel in a much stronger ...
A. 26 August 2007: So glad that you found solace in this site! I know a lot of others have as well. Congratulations for being strong and helping others through their own experiences on this website!
How wonderful that you are doing well and that you have the Dear... (read in full...)
Can getting fingered damage you?
Q. When being fingered can your body be damaged? so you can't have kids or anything like that? thanks...
A. 26 August 2007: Just make sure hands and under fingernails are clean!! That can cause an infection. Otherwise, I've never heard of anyone not being able to have kids due to a fingering injury.
Just use common sense and be clean about it!!
Enjoy, sweetness!
... (read in full...)
Can I get diseases from someone who appeared to be clean?
Q. Last month I saw a guy that was great, we got intimate, but didn't have sex, we kissed and he did oral on me, of which I was fine with. I didn't do anything to him. He is very adamant about hygiene, and keeping clean, and from what he told me, he...
A. 26 August 2007: Hey sweetness,
As everyone else has noted, a lot of germs and viruses aren't visible to the eye. We can only hope that this man was honest with you when he said he was 100% clean. Not to mention, herpes is not always a visible disease - and you ... (read in full...)
How should i ask her for oral?
Q. ok i am fifteen years old and i have a girlfriend we been doin it for a couple of months now but i want our sex life to get a little more intresting i want to ask my gf to give me oral how should i ask her what if it gets wierd when i ask her?...
A. 25 August 2007: Hey babycakes,
Does it taste nasty? Well, it certainly can if you're not both clean (or if someone has an infection). I suggest taking showers first (take one together! Lots of fun.) so neither of you feel nervous about the way you might smell or... (read in full...)
How should i ask her for oral?
Q. ok i am fifteen years old and i have a girlfriend we been doin it for a couple of months now but i want our sex life to get a little more intresting i want to ask my gf to give me oral how should i ask her what if it gets wierd when i ask her?...
A. 25 August 2007: Alright, first things first:
If she says no, that's the answer, it's final, get over it.
What I mean by that, is DON'T PUSH HER. Don't make her feel bad about herself if she doesn't want to go that far. She has no obligation to do so.
Don... (read in full...)
How do you stimulate yourself?
Q. Girls help me please. Okay this is gonna sound so dumb but I don't know how to masturbate. Well I know you can finger yourself. If you do that and people check your vagina will it look like you've had sex?? I want to masturbate 'cause it's ...
A. 25 August 2007: Hi sweetness,
Here's a great website dedicated to ALL THINGS female masturbation. It has other girls your age getting advice on how to go about stimulating yourself.
http://www.clitical.com
I think you'll love it! I hope it helps!
xxIndia... (read in full...)
How important is my hairstyle in attracting a woman?
Q. I was just wondering how important my hairstyle is to attracting girls. I'm not that into my hair, it's blonde...not much information i know, but can you help at all? Thanks for any of the help you give....
A. 25 August 2007: Hey sweetness.
Well, I take a guys hair style into consideration. I think it's important just to appear like you take care of yourself. It doesn't need to be "fashionable" - just taken care of. "birdynumnums" gave you a great message.
Maybe y... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and have fallen for a 17 year old girl, could it ever happen?
Q. i'm fifteen and i've fallen for a 17 year old girl. shes the only one definatley! i see her a couple of times a week if i'm lucky. shes really nice to me and hugs me quite a bit. we can talk for ages, shes just amazing! i'm in year 11 and shes in ...
A. 25 August 2007: Hey sweetness,
That's only two years, that's not so bad. I think it's totally conceivable!! I think you should keep being a great friend to her (believe me, girls dig that). Be honest, be considerate and be consistent. Good rules for friends ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I fool around, but I'm not sure we're ready to take it further, any advise?
Q. ok so heres the deal ive been dating a girl for a while and when we're together and alone we get VERY affectionate as in 3rd base and during that time when we are in the moment we talk about sex and how at the time we both really want to do it but ...
A. 25 August 2007: Hi darlin'
I think you made a good decision. Waiting is always a good one - there's never a need to rush. Just remember, you're got the rest of your life to be having sex. Why ruin the anticipation? That's half the fun!!
Keep exploring each o... (read in full...)
I'm 14, is it normal for me to be so addicted to men?
Q. I'm 14 and addicted to men. This is embarassing, but I'm 14 and I'm addicted to watching men and get extremly turned on by them (the sexy ones). Sometimes I even see 2 sexy guys kissing on TV or something, and it feels really nice. I just lov...
A. 25 August 2007: Hi there, sweetness!
Let me start off by saying that I too, love watching me some sexy men making out. What is better than Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom? Johnny Depp and Orlando making out (I wish!! *sigh*)!
There's nothing wrong with you, ... (read in full...)
He wakes up and reads porn like it's the newspaper and masterbates...what can I do?
Q. my boyfriend gets up in the mornings before me sometimes i do wake up to find him reading porn stories like its the sunday paper and masterbating i dont want to but i get mad because i would rather him come wake me so that i can please him i need to ...
A. 23 August 2007: Have you let him know that you'd love it if he woke you up in the morning? Tell him that sometimes you get horny too and would love nothing more than to get woken up for some action. Maybe he doesn't want to bother you in the morning. I know when my ... (read in full...)
I need to clear my head.
Q. I have troubles relaxing and getting ready for sex, and sometimes when i am having sex all i can think about is things i have to do the next day. What are some things i can do to clear my mind so i can be more alert to pleasure my partner and also ...
A. 23 August 2007: Well, I think you have to set the mood for yourself. I don't think anyone can just jump into sex - unless they're in that spontaneous mood. Why don't you try building the moment? Have dinner together, have a glass of wine. take a bath together, put ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend when a guy asks me for my phone number?
Q. I have a boyfriend and I wanna be faithful to him. I tell him when boys ask for my number. Yesterday, he acted weird, I didn't know why, until he told me that 'a boyfriend doesn't wanna know if his girlfriend's are getting numbers' well.. I just ...
A. 21 August 2007: Hi there, doll.
Well, you were sweet to tell him and be honest. If he doesn't want to know - well, the man has spoken. As long as you aren't taking these numbers seriously, as long as you're staying faithful I think you should do as "Kenny" ... (read in full...)
My 30 year old boyfriend can sometimes be immature... any tips?
Q. My boyfriend is 30 and I am 35. We have been together about 18 months. I am concerned because he is a very different person around his friends than he is with me. I know that we are all slightly different but he seems to use different language ...
A. 21 August 2007: Oh, men. When men get around other men, it's like they turn twelve again, right? Too much testosterone in a room and this is what happens!
As long as he turns back into a thirty year old with you and at work and when he's dealing with importan... (read in full...)
I'm 17 and want a baby!
Q. Hi everyone. My name is Robyn and I'm 17. I've been going through a lot lately and I don't know what to do. All last year I was very ill and I thought at one point I was pregnant. When I found out I wasn't, I was devastated. I want a baby so ...
A. 21 August 2007: Oh, all the other Aunt's have given you such wonderful advice. Listen to them!!
I'm just going to suggest a way to ease the pain. I too love babies and would love one of my own. However, I know that babies are an expensive committment - one that... (read in full...)
Why can't I get pregnant???
Q. why cant i get pregnant!! me and my boyfriend have been trying for a baby for nearly 7 months and it just isnt happening it is cos im only 15 or is it just cos i cant have children. i really want one. me and my boyfriend have been together...
A. 13 August 2007: I guess it's fate intervening and it's telling you to STOP TRYING! You are so young! I hope that you get more replies that can go more in depth than I can... I'm sort of out of energy for this question.
Reasons To Not Have A Baby:
1. http://www... (read in full...)
Is this distance a sign of maturity or a lack of interest?
Q. i love spending time with my girlfriend, i wish we lived together, and she has expressed the same feeling with me. i understand that she needs her time with her family and i need time with my hobbies/activities. but when we first met we would text ...
A. 13 August 2007: I think it's maturity. At the beginning of a relationship, things are usually so energized and there are texts and phone calls and things flying back and forth... and then eventually - usually somewhere around 6-7 months - things start to slow down. ... (read in full...)
How do I know if I'm ready for sex (or not)?
Q. I don't know if I am ready for sex but I really want to give my boyfriend my virginity he is really nice and cares about me and is only willing to do it if I am ready for it. It will be my first time and he is wanting to make it the best. How will I ...
A. 12 August 2007: Hi (again!),
You asked what our first time was like... well, mine was really special. It just happened.
I was 19 years old, and I had been saving my virginity for quite some time. I had had plenty of boyfriends in middle and high school, and... (read in full...)
Am i weird?
Q. am i weird? been with my bf for 6 months we have been havind sex for 6 months.. (he is the only guy i have slept with). iv cant seem to come no matter how turned on i am. i cant feel him cumming in me.. i tell him i feel it but never a...
A. 12 August 2007: Well, sweetness..
Most chicks can't feel their man cum! He has to cum PRETTY HARD and an awful lot for you to feel it. I know I can rarely feel my man when he orgasms... so don't worry about that, you're perfectly normal.
As for you getting ... (read in full...)
Are we being mature or immature?
Q. Hi, some advbice/thoughts/opinions would be much appreciated, and I wat to get a variety of opinions too...Thanks Throughout this situation, bear in mine I am 16. Me and this girl have fallen in love. Technically we haven't hit it off yet (...
A. 12 August 2007: Hey there,
I don't think you're being immature in the least. In fact, I think you're more mature than most of the 16 year olds out there! You seem to be thinking VERY realistically and that is amazing.
I'm glad to see that both of you are very ... (read in full...)
Can anyone tell me how to make my boobs bigger without puttin on weight
Q. Well me and ma bf are really close i love him and he love's me and i'm thinking that he might not lyk me as much as before cause at school i don't have the biggest boobs and every other girl does. Can anyone tell me how to make then bigger without ...
A. 12 August 2007: Hey baby,
Everyone gave you great advice. i just wanted to throw in a little sumthin-sumthin. When I was your age, my boobs were kinda small. But around 18-20, my boobs suddenly had a huge growth spurt! Now I'm a C cup (borderline D)! I promise,... (read in full...)
How do I know if I'm ready for sex (or not)?
Q. I don't know if I am ready for sex but I really want to give my boyfriend my virginity he is really nice and cares about me and is only willing to do it if I am ready for it. It will be my first time and he is wanting to make it the best. How will I ...
A. 12 August 2007: What a lucky girl you are!! It sounds like your boyfriend really cares about you and wants to wait until you feel like you're ready. Like the others have said, if you're having any sort of doubt - you're probably not ready.
How long have you two ... (read in full...)
He said that "pulling out" would work but I'm not so sure... ?
Q. Im a freshman at my school and i just met dis guy friend dis past year and i guess were more than friends now because we just had sex without protection but he said "pulling out" would work. But im a little nervous......
A. 12 August 2007: "as much use as a chocolate saucepan" - hilarious!!
Just like everyone else has said, pulling out is NOT a good method of birth control. You can absolutely still get pregnant - in fact, I have a friend who just got pregnant making the same mis... (read in full...)
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