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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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I'm wondering if he cheated. Can a guy feel himself have sex if he is drunk?
Q. me and my boyfriend have been going together for over 3 years, and i recently just found out that he went to a party and got extremely drunk and says he doesn't remember or know if he had sex or not. I was wondering if a guy could feel himself ...
A. 8 March 2008: As DoubleM says, this is totally up to you. If I were you, I definitely wouldn't stay with the bastard until he at least admitted to what he had done... if you say he is truly "sorry", he must be "sorry" for something, so make him fess up!!
Any, ... (read in full...)
Quiz - who want's sex more often?
Q. This is more like a quiz for you guys ... I spoke to my BF and we kinda disagree on: "WHO WANT'S SEX MORE OFTEN IN A RELATIONSHIP .. GIRLS OR GUYS?" So guys and girls ... hit me w some fun answers :) Lierin ...
A. 7 March 2008: Well, for my particular relationship - my boyfriend is all over me. I think he must have like, a gallon of extra testosterone or something. I, on the other hand, was not blessed with such a libido, so I'm less inclined to jump in the sack at moments ... (read in full...)
Is 'camel toe' looked down on?
Q. Is having 'camel toe' looked down on, or worse than being completely tight? Is it an insult?...
A. 7 March 2008: Yeah, you can't have camel toe without clothes on... then, you just have a va-jay-jay. Camel toe is sort of like the wedgie for vagina's! Personally, I think it's kinda gross - I mean, that would FEEL totally uncomfortable. I'm sure guys think it's ... (read in full...)
He's everything I'm looking for in a man except for one thing-he's never told me he loves me.
Q. I've never done this before so here goes.... I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 18 months now. He's everything I'm looking for in a man except for one thing-he's never told me he loves me. He's said it by text a couple of times and I blu...
A. 7 March 2008: Hello sweetness,
Firstly, all though he doesn't SAY it to you, does he SHOW you that he loves you? It seems to be that first and foremost - his actions will speak louder than his words. Maybe he's one of those fellas who doesn't emote very eas... (read in full...)
He's everything I'm looking for in a man except for one thing-he's never told me he loves me.
Q. I've never done this before so here goes.... I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 18 months now. He's everything I'm looking for in a man except for one thing-he's never told me he loves me. He's said it by text a couple of times and I blu...
A. 7 March 2008: Hello sweetness,
Firstly, all though he doesn't SAY it to you, does he SHOW you that he loves you? It seems to be that first and foremost - his actions will speak louder than his words. Maybe he's one of those fellas who doesn't emote very eas... (read in full...)
How can I trust my sister when I tell her stuff?
Q. ok before I ask my question I better start from the beginning.. My mom has 2 daughters me and my sister... my sister lives with her bilogical dad in a different town while I live with my mom. until she passed away now I live with my step dad who ...
A. 7 March 2008: It sounds to me like you need a best friend. You need some girl friends! Someone beyond your family who you can talk about your family with.
Sisters are forever, and I'm sure your sister loves you to bits and pieces - doesn't mean that she isn'... (read in full...)
How do I bring up sex to my son, and what will I say?
Q. How and what should I say to my 14 year son about sex? ...
A. 6 March 2008: It is very important for parents to be having discussions with their kids about sex. Don't make the subject taboo! Sex is normal and everyone has questions and thoughts. Even though your son may be getting all kinds of details from school, the ... (read in full...)
Has anyone ever done what my co-worker did and not use a condom for first-time sex with someone?
Q. One of my co-workers was talking about her new boyfriend the other day amongst several of us women during our lunch break. We knew she usually didn't have sex right away when dating a new guy. She really likes the guy she has currently started ...
A. 6 March 2008: Good for her, acting safely. If she really did ask her hook-up to get a blood test first, that's great. That will check for STD's in a hot second! The only STI's that the blood test does not cover are chlamydia and gonorrhea. Depending on what ... (read in full...)
If I have anal sex do I keep my virginity in tact?
Q. My man and I want to make love but I don't want to lose my virginity yet. He has convinced me that if we have anal sex then this will be possible. Is this true?...
A. 6 March 2008: You had wonderful advice from all of the Aunts. I agree with them all - this boyfriend of yours doesn't sound very considerate. Anal sex hurts a LOT LOT LOT more than vaginal sex, and will not be nearly as enjoyable for you. Don't let your boyfriend ... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if he cheated. Can a guy feel himself have sex if he is drunk?
Q. me and my boyfriend have been going together for over 3 years, and i recently just found out that he went to a party and got extremely drunk and says he doesn't remember or know if he had sex or not. I was wondering if a guy could feel himself ...
A. 6 March 2008: Regardless, this excuse sounds lame. If your man just up and said, "well, I was really trashed. I could've had sex, I don't remember." - that is a bunch of bogus crap. If he didn't have sex, he would've said he didn't have sex, not give you some ... (read in full...)
My right testicle has been hurting... anyone know what might be wrong?
Q. Hey recently my right testicle has been hurting like a pain of windness (punched in the chest) or achy pain. I've checked and found no lumps although it seems theres more room on the left side of my testicle sack than on the right the pain comes a...
A. 4 March 2008: Any time your testicles hurt, you should go to the doctor. Don't waste any time getting their either! The testicles are not something that should be in any kind of pain, so please get into the doctor a.s.a.p!!
Don't be embarrassed, it is a doctor... (read in full...)
I'm I a virgin or not anymore?
Q. Help i know people will think im stupid for doing it but last nite me and b/f where doing stuff,and after when he was inside me he said he thought i was a virgin which i was at the time but never told him, Anyway when he was going further in it di...
A. 4 March 2008: Well, sweetness, congratulations. You are no longer a virgin! I am just concerned because no where in your letter to us did you suggest that you used protection. I hope you did! If you did, wonderful, hooray. If not, BEFORE YOU HAVE SEX AGAIN GO GET ... (read in full...)
Did he enjoy it??
Q. If a boy cums and breathes heavy while you give him a handjob, does this mean he likes it? Please help because I'm scared i didn't do a good job lol......
A. 4 March 2008: If he came, then I guarantee that he enjoyed it. Breathing heavy, he's got all the signs. Yes, sweetness, you did just fine. No worries!
xx India... (read in full...)
Does anyone know any good sex songs?
Q. does anyone know any good sex songs (non romantic) that would be fun to play at a party?...
A. 2 March 2008: "Let's Talk About Sex" - Salt n' Pepa
"Sex" - Ginuwine
"Sex Is Not The Enemy" - Garbage
"Sex Machine" - James Brown
"Candy Coated Sugar Sex" - Kaila Yu
"You Wanna F*ck Too" - 504 Boys
"Crazy B*tch" - Buckcherry
"Da Butt" EU
Okay, so far th... (read in full...)
Do the famous always travel from good to bad changes, chasing reputation?
Q. Hey guys I just wanted to know something, let's just say someone becomes famous, are they giving up everything in their life? Well if so how. I mean famous people are just doing what they love right?? They just go from good to bad. What are the ...
A. 2 March 2008: (not to say all celebrities are evil, by the way. Some use all of their privileges for good... but some just keep thinking about themselves.)... (read in full...)
Do the famous always travel from good to bad changes, chasing reputation?
Q. Hey guys I just wanted to know something, let's just say someone becomes famous, are they giving up everything in their life? Well if so how. I mean famous people are just doing what they love right?? They just go from good to bad. What are the ...
A. 2 March 2008: My guesses:
* Too much attention
* Too much accessibility to pretty much everything
* Too much money
* Too many privileges
* Not any consequences
* Having the world on a platter
I think celebrities turn bad because they just have too ... (read in full...)
What stimulates women the most?
Q. What stimulates women the most, kissing, massaging or something else? I know I should know but just want to get a few ideas. If you just pretend there are no other issues blocking a sexual turn on such as looking at other women, porn or an ...
A. 2 March 2008: This sounds weird, but if you are all over your woman often, this will work.
My boyfriend wants me around the clock. He's always ready to go and do "the nasty". But, I am most ready to jump him bones when he's sweet without any ulterior motive. ... (read in full...)
How can I tell if he enjoyed it?
Q. I gave my first handjob yesterday and I'm not sure if I pleased him or not, I honestly don't feel as if I did. He did bust and he was breathing heavy afterwards, but I'm still not sure. Does anyone know how to tell if he liked it or not without ...
A. 2 March 2008: Well if he busted, that pretty much means that he got pleasure out of it!! Breathing heavy is good news too - so far, all signs point to GOOD GOOD GOOD! Just make sure you're good and lubricated when you're giving him some manual action.
The l... (read in full...)
We can never get close because her friends are always around... Help!!!
Q. Hi, I'm 13 and I have a girlfriend. We are both really shy. We can't get close because her friends are always around her! help!!!...
A. 2 March 2008: Hey sweetness,
I remember being a Middle School girl. I always had my girls around for moral support and whatnot. As you said, she's shy, so having her friends around probably makes her a little less reserved.
I say, make some 1 on 1 time. She... (read in full...)
Approaching a girl.
Q. Here's the scenario. I'm 15, I'm at a party, I see a girl that is like an angel. How would I approach her? What would I say? Because I don't want to sound/look like an idiot. Please, pleeeeease help me on this....
A. 2 March 2008: Hey sweetness,
You got some great advice. Just adding in some additional tips:
1) Please make sure you smell good. So many parties have I attended, so many smelly guys trying to hit on me... no good. Smell good.
2) Be a gentleman. Too many... (read in full...)
How can I snoop on my boyfriend's cell phone to see if he's been looking at porn?
Q. How can I snoop on my boyfriend's cell phone to see if he's been looking at porn? How do you find out? Do you look at the Internet options on the phone? Please give me some help, I'm so nosy, but I don't want him to know I looked at his phone-ugh. ...
A. 2 March 2008: Hey sweetness,
If your boy was looking at porn on his phone, that would be pretty pricey! And such a small screen, what good would that do? I really doubt that he's checking out porn on his telephone, and if he IS then he must be really desperat... (read in full...)
Is it normal to 'feel dirty' while masturbating?
Q. I'm just wondering if any other women out there feel dirty masturbating. I don't have and have never used a vibrator or anything like that, but I still feel dirty doing it, is this normal?...
A. 1 March 2008: Hey sweetness,
Well, I'm sure you're not alone in feeling dirty. I'm sure tons of women share your sentiments, but as DoubleM points out, masturbation is totally healthy and normal. If you feel dirty, it should be a really GOOD kind of dirty.
... (read in full...)
What does his text mean?
Q. i got this text from this boy that i think likes me i donno what it means. "i love you can it be our little secret u dont have a bf right can u come to our beach party fri night i wanna prove it to u love u xxxxx" what does this mean does it mea...
A. 28 February 2008: It SOUNDS like to me that he is double checking that he's not gonna get in trouble with your boyfriend after he has sex with you. It sounds like he's asking you if you guys can have a "secret" love thing so that he can sleep with you and nobody has ... (read in full...)
He really wants to hear me moan...is there anything I can do so when he tries again I do moan??
Q. Yesterday I went over to my boyfriend's house. Well he wanted to hear me moan really bad. So he tried so hard just to get me to moan. He fingered me and kissed me on the neck a lot. I felt amazing but no moan came out. So he felt like he wasn't ...
A. 28 February 2008: Toasty is dead on,
No moan will come out unless you open your mouth and make the sound. You don't need to fake, just not be shy about just going "mmmmm". That's all it takes. Pretend you're eating some really delicious food... "mmmmm".
I think... (read in full...)
I'm not ready to be engaged or married... but I suspect my bf will propose soon. Afraid of hurting him!
Q. I havn't been with my bf for very long now, but I love him and he's great. The thing is he tends to be more serious about the relationship that me...Don't get me wrong I am committed and everything, but I'm not planning my enitre future with him ...
A. 27 February 2008: Hooray!!!
Well, I am very glad that you avoided that awkward situation. Fabulous! Hopefully, next time a proposal comes up for you, you'll be totally excited and ready to say yes!
xx India... (read in full...)
How can I make our sex more entertaining??
Q. My boyfriend of one year always makes love to me twice or thrice per week and says am good. The only problem is we've been using the same style and i would like to make him feel good like he always does to me. What do i do?...
A. 27 February 2008: Hi there, sweetness!
So, you want to spice things up. I have a few suggestions that could knock your sex life to the moon! So, if you're dying to be adventurous, read further.
Firstly, you have to keep a totally open mind and be ready to laug... (read in full...)
I don't want to be in a relationship so I use porn, but feel dirty about it
Q. i don't want to go into another relationship for now. to do this, sometimes i watch porns and masterbate after that to calm down my lubido. but i feel so dirty after this most of the time. am i doing the right thing? please help me....
A. 26 February 2008: Don't feel bad about masturbation, it's all right. It's totally healthy and normal - particularly for someone not in a relationship. Don't worry about using pornography sometimes - just make sure that you're not overdoing it. Be sure to sometimes ... (read in full...)
Is there any way to stop wet dreams??
Q. Hi, I'm 14 and i recently started getting "wet dreams" - it's quite annoying and how to stop it ? Also , sometimes i wake up after one, I clean the semen with a tissue and flush it down the toilet.. can someone get pregnant if they use the toilet s...
A. 26 February 2008: Hey there, sweetness.
Wet dreams are TOTALLY normal. I can't think of a way to stop them, except maybe setting your alarm a few times during the night so that your dreams are constantly interrupted... but, then you sacrifice a good nights sleep. S... (read in full...)
He doesn't look at me during sex...any ideas why??
Q. My boyfriend is very passionate during foreplay but when we have sex he stares off into the distance with his eye's open. I know men are visually stimulated but he isn't looking at me... he gets a kind of glossed over look like he's not there. Any ...
A. 26 February 2008: Hi there,
Well, I agree with Collaroy... he may be fantasizing. However, he also may be concentrating really hard. Now, goofy as this may sound, some of us are just not multi-taskers, and particularly when he is focusing on thrusting and whatever... (read in full...)
Is there any way I can deal with a yeast infection without medicine??
Q. ok well i think i might have yeast infection but i dont wont to tell my dad. What are some ways i can get rid of it without a doctors medicine??....
A. 26 February 2008: Cranberry juice (make sure it's actual cranberry juice and not some sugared down "cranberry" flavored juice) really helps to maintain a healthy urinary tract system. However, you absolutely have to go and get antibiotics for your yeast infection or ... (read in full...)
Is this an okay gift for my sick grandma?
Q. Not really a love question I'm afraid but wanted advice anyways and thought this would be the best place. Mothers day is coming up and I'm planning to get my mum this book which is full of questions and thne it has space for her to answer them. ...
A. 22 February 2008: I think your idea is very sweet and will be well received by your Mom and Grandma. Your Grandma is a Mom too! You guys can all sit down - three generations, and have fun filling them out and talking about it.
What a wonderful gift to give! Ha... (read in full...)
How to get birth controls?
Q. So, Sex? Its soo confusing, right? Well, sometimes I think Im ready but Im soo scared of the risks that come with it, especially pregnency, how would i get B-control? Any one have good suggestions...
A. 21 February 2008: Go to your local Planned Parenthood - they will be able to talk to you about all the different kinds of birth control and help you figure out what kind is best for you. It will be free for you and completely confidential!
Please continue being th... (read in full...)
Advice on meeting boyfriend's parents for the first time.
Q. I'm meeting my boyfriend's parents tonight, going over to their house for dinner...any advice? He is 33 and I am 41, so we're not kids, and I understand that his father can be somewhat of a bear, his mother as sweet as pie, very well off. ...
A. 21 February 2008: Bring a bottle of wine for them - I think it's a very classy move when guests bring a gift. Especially one you can enjoy during dinner! If they aren't the drinking sort, maybe a bouquet of flowers for his mother or something. You get the idea.
... (read in full...)
Do guys have a "G-spot" as well?
Q. Do guys have a "g-spot" too?...
A. 21 February 2008: Yes, indeed they do... it's fondly referred to as the "p-spot", and it's hidden away in a tricky place. It's not exactly the same as a g-spot, but it's as close as men are gonna get!
You know how for women, the g-spot is a few inches into the... (read in full...)
Help from the Ladies - Why can't I get cleavage with a B-cup?
Q. I can't get cleavage even though I'm a B-cup! Okay, my left breast is full B and my right breast is about an inch smaller, a small B. Is this why I can't wear a bra or low cut blouse and get cleavage? I also have a fairly wide shoulder span...
A. 17 February 2008: Hey there,
I work at Victoria's Secret, so I know boobs, bras and cleavage. Hey - someones gotta know, right? Well, I assure you that if A's can find cleavage, YOU can find cleavage. What you need is a strong bra that gives you the perfect ... (read in full...)
Is it true that men prefer women of lower IQ than them?
Q. I read an article in Metro which said (although it was at Valentine's event for geeky Massachusetts Institute of Technology students) that men often prefer to have sex with a woman of lower IQ. Do you think that's really true, because I know som...
A. 16 February 2008: Real men want girls with brains. Assholes are the ones who want to date dumber girls so they can feel superior. Don't dumb yourself down for anybody - your brains will take you a lot farther than any ol' man can.
As for your friend - why is she w... (read in full...)
Am I gay???
Q. hi im a young lad in my twentys and i have a female partner and a son. we were having sex a few weeks ago and she decided to slip a finger up my back passage, i didnt mind as i am open to try new things, but now im confused because i want her...
A. 15 February 2008: Sweetness,
You are not gay. If you've never been interested in having sexual relations with a male, or engaging in any sexual activity - then you're not gay. Even if you've maybe thought about it once or twice, that doesn't make you gay, it makes... (read in full...)
Guide to achieving female orgasms!
Q. Because it is Valentine's Day I thought I might do my good bit and spread some love and try to do a good deed today. If it helps maybe at least one person then good. Anyway there are so many different ways that a woman can achieve orgasm and sadly ...
A. 14 February 2008: Great guide!! Seriously, it could be in Cosmo or something. I hope you posted this in the "Articles" section of the site as well!
xx India... (read in full...)
How long could it take for his sperm to fertalise my egg??
Q. I was having sex, and when we stopped, we realised the condom had burst... We hadn't been going long though, although he did say he definitely ejaculated. Tomorrow I'm planning to go get the morning after pill, but is there anything I can do to ...
A. 14 February 2008: Hello sweetness,
I'm pretty bad with cycles and when you're most likely to be pregnant, but the bottom line is - yes, you are at risk. Any time a man ejaculates inside of you with no protection, you're at risk of falling pregnant.
The morning a... (read in full...)
My teacher tried to kiss me and I walked away....what should I do??
Q. Omg! What do i do?? Im really worried. I really like this teacher at my school and he shouted at me for no reason then told me just to wait behind after the bell, which i did. So i waited and waited around after the bell then he came out and sho...
A. 14 February 2008: Good for you! Happy Valentine's Day to that JERKFACE for sure!! I hope he gets what he deserves (to be fired), and I hope you feel good about yourself. Be proud, girlfriend, you just saved all the girls in your school from getting sexually harassed ... (read in full...)
Site News: We hit another milestone :-)
Q. For the first time we broke the 400,000 visitors mark over the past month! We had 412,222 people visit the site from Jan 13th 08 - Feb 14th 08 according to google analytics! Thanks to all the mods, the aunts and everyone who shares their pro...
A. 14 February 2008: Well hooray!! Congratulations, this site deserves it! We'll be up to 500,000 in no time.... (read in full...)
I'm not ready to be engaged or married... but I suspect my bf will propose soon. Afraid of hurting him!
Q. I havn't been with my bf for very long now, but I love him and he's great. The thing is he tends to be more serious about the relationship that me...Don't get me wrong I am committed and everything, but I'm not planning my enitre future with him ...
A. 12 February 2008: Hey sweetness,
Only two days until Valentine's Day - you have to act fast! You have three options:
a) Tell him immediately that you are not interested in marrying him yet and try to be honest and truthful in letting him know that you're not ... (read in full...)
My teacher tried to kiss me and I walked away....what should I do??
Q. Omg! What do i do?? Im really worried. I really like this teacher at my school and he shouted at me for no reason then told me just to wait behind after the bell, which i did. So i waited and waited around after the bell then he came out and sho...
A. 10 February 2008: My, my, sweetness. Your teacher is a major creep and now he's trying to cover his track. Don't let him threaten you to keep your mouth shut. Now you REALLY should take action and go to the principal and let him or her know what's going on. Don't ... (read in full...)
My teacher tried to kiss me and I walked away....what should I do??
Q. Omg! What do i do?? Im really worried. I really like this teacher at my school and he shouted at me for no reason then told me just to wait behind after the bell, which i did. So i waited and waited around after the bell then he came out and sho...
A. 24 January 2008: Hey sweetness, First off this isn't your fault. Teacher's have to deal with girls getting crushes on them - tons of girls crush on teachers (look through the questions here on Cupid everyday. There are ALWAYS people who have crushes on their... (read in full...)
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