A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:been married to a controling man for 10 yrs and have 3 kids lately he has grabbed me by the face a couple of times when he says i have done wrong and just last week he threatened my 11 year old while he had a knife in his hand. i have no life and want out but scarred about how my kids will adapt Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2007): omg thats not good you should leave and never go back call a womans shelte any body grad your pets and kid and get the hell out there ok be safe
A
female
reader, Midge  +, writes (7 November 2007):
 My sister was in the same situation some years ago. She had the same fears as you, and rightly so. Your kids have been through enough, as have you!
No-one deserves to be treated in the manner that you and your kids have. They are what matters most, and you need to leave for their sakes.
My sister made the move to leave her husband and emigrated to the UK with her daughter. It was the best move she ever made. We were worried that her daughter wouldnt adapt not having her father and being in a strange place, but trust me they are hardier than you think! She is so happy now and loves her life. My sister also now has a life, but she needed to get away from the abuse as do you!
Make the move! Leave! Dont look behind! Take your kids, your animals and LEAVE!!!!!!! Dont give him any reason to hurt you, your kids and any fury friends that you have.
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A
male
reader, Asexy  +, writes (7 November 2007):
 Run like your ass is on fire. This will only get worse. I don't know whether this is close, but if it is I recommend calling them:
Northern Ireland Women's Aid // 129 University Street // Belfast BT7 1HP // Phone 0232 24 90 42/24 93 58
Here is another one you can check out: http://www.niwaf.org/
And this is their 24 Hour Domestic Violence Helpline: 0800 917 1414
Good luck hon.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2007): You say you dont know how your kids would adapt, but it sounds to me like you would be doing them a favour. And yourself too. Dont stay in a loveless marriage "for the sake of the kids". He's threatening them with knives for Gods sake.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (7 November 2007):
 I agree with the others...you don't have a marriage at all but live in a dictatorship. Your children are always a priority over a man and you need to leave before he gets more violent. Children raised in domestic violence households turn out to be bullies or victims in their own adult relationships more often or not - as a parent you have a fundamental responsibility to do all you can to protect them from this man. He will abuse you again, and he will abuse your kids too. By leaving you are sending a clear message about the unacceptability of his behaviour and making him confront his own deep psychological problems - if you stay it is like saying he is acting normally. You need to tell the child welfare authorities what is going on to protect your interests in any divorce and child-access proceedings that follow.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (7 November 2007):
 As Irish49 said, this marriage is done. Your husband is out of control and probably should be in JAIL, or at least an institution. He sounds like a real danger to those around him and therefore you should grab the kids and go as far away as you can. If I were you I would go to the police, if not a women's shelter. Go somewhere where they can help you stay away from your (ex)husband, and they can help you adjust.
Please be VERY careful, and I wish you the best of luck.
Stay strong.
xxIndia
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2007): Your marriage is over. Grab your children, hold them close and get the hell out of there, today. Do not wait until one of your children ends up badly hurt, scarred for life or dead. The man is out of control. Call a woman's shelter in your phonebook, call a pastor in a church...but do something. You and your kids will need family counseling..please do all you can to help them understand why their father would do such an atrocious thing. I am truely sorry for your pain. Pleease,be strong.
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