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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Is it wrong for me to get mad at him for trying to make up after fights?
Q. I love my boyfriend a lot, but its just it's a long distance relationship, so we argue quite a bit, and basically every time we have an argument, I get angry about it and can't be affectionate as I would normally. He tries to 'kiss up' to me after ...
A. 6 February 2010: Does he do this AFTER an argument, or to try and get his way? If he's doing this to try and get his way, that's just obnoxious and manipulative, but if this is him trying to make up after an argument, then I excuse him. He's trying to do the right ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is angry over my happy ending massages...
Q. I have been dating my new girlfriend for about 4 months now and things are going okay. Yesterday my g/f and I met a group of friends for drinks after work. One of my good friends got a little buzzed and he accidentally blurted out to everyone at ...
A. 5 February 2010: You're getting a handjob from another girl. And trying to say you're just getting a massage? Might as well get your thumb rubbed? So you're having if your girlfriend went out and got fingered by a guy, followed by getting a full body massage, if she ... (read in full...)
How can I tell if I had drunken sex?
Q. How can i tell if i had sex? Yesterday night i got overly drunk and remember most of my night but now my friend is telling me we had sex I'm not worried about being pregnant or anything but just for the sake of curiosity i want to know if it r...
A. 5 February 2010: I would think that you'd have some memory, at least of some guy, or kissing, or something. Especially if you remember most of your night. Why does your friend think you had sex? Did she see you? Did she hear you? Is somebody claiming they had sex ... (read in full...)
I always thought Valentines day was about the guy treating the girl. Now my boyfriend thinks I don't care.
Q. This Might Sound Bad But I had No Idea That I was Supposed to Buy Something for My Boyfriend For Valentines Day. We're Going on 4 years Now and Every Year he always Does something Extreme For me and I Love it! Though I have Never Bought Him Anything ...
A. 5 February 2010: http://www.excitations.com/
I thought this website was really great for pretty crazy gift ideas. It's based on giving experiences rather than stuff. So cool!!
You've got some great ideas, you shouldn't have trouble figuring something out! ... (read in full...)
Advice needed. How can I be as hot as a porn star!!!?
Q. How can I be as hot as a porn star? I already act the part - well, no, I don't ACT, I really do enjoy sex and I'm very open to everything my boyfriend likes or wants to try. I never say no until I've tried it (except for threesomes, I wouldn't like ...
A. 4 February 2010: I'm just curious - has your boyfriend indicated in any way, shape or form that he desires you to change? It sounds like you guys have amazing sex and he's got to recognize that he's one lucky guy to have such an open-minded and adventurous girl! You ... (read in full...)
Which should I choose; my unfulfilling life with my boyfriend or my old friends and family back home?
Q. I am living with my boyfriend 24hrs drive away from my friends and family and a 3.5 hr expensive flight. I have been here living for over a year. We have plans to marry. I am having a hard time meeting friends here and having a hard time being ...
A. 3 February 2010: Oooh, my darling, how I feel for you. I lived across the country from my friends and family (who I'm so so close with), for FOUR YEARS (longest years ever) to be with my fella. This is my advice... you really have to decide if this guy is worth it. ... (read in full...)
I'm 18 and she's 26. Am I just getting played?
Q. Ive been casually dating this one chick that i used to work with for about a month now. Im 18 and she's 26. I have my own place,car, and full time job making decent money and so does she. we went on a few dates and even spent new year...
A. 3 February 2010: Sounds like you're casually seeing each other. Are you wondering if you're just a booty call to her? What do you want from this relationship? Are you looking for something exclusive and serious?
If you're hanging out, watching movies, meeting ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to ask my new husband for a new bed?
Q. Is it wrong for me to ask my new husband for a new bed because I do not want to sleep in our current bed because his live in girlfriend slept there? Every time I think about it makes me angry and would like a new start even with our things. I'm ...
A. 3 February 2010: Hi there - I don't think that you're wrong for feeling that way, but I don't think this is anything to boycott sleep over. I felt that way too, with my fella - and I slept in the sheets and blankets that all of his former ladies had enjoyed for ... (read in full...)
Baby blues at 16!!!
Q. I'm 16 and I really really want a baby, have done for like 2 years. My boyfriend's almost 19, we're engaged and hoping to move in together when I've finished my A levels. I don't have a job at the moment but I'd like to get one part time. He's got 2 ...
A. 1 February 2010: Girl, I feel you. Babies are adorable and tiny and sometimes that maternal side kicks in. But - you're 16! You have a lot of YOU time left to have fun with. And, you need time to set yourself up with a career you love and money saved so you and your ... (read in full...)
Ideas needed for a friends 21st.
Q. hey all, its my mates 21st birthday this weekend... due to family issues and commitments i cannot make her night out, but i was hoping to go round hers or something during the day tie and do something fun... this can include drinkin but not just a ...
A. 1 February 2010: Oooh, okay this involves drinking, but not heavy drinking at all. Wine tour!! They are cheap and so much fun! You can get dressed up and $1-2 dollars per person gets you all the samples of the wineries wares. Then visit all the nearby wineries and ... (read in full...)
My wife's sexual fantasy excluded me! Should I feel badly about this?
Q. I have a question; my wife and I have been together for 15 years or so. We have talked about sexual fantasies in the past and my wife claimed she never had any, or the ones she did were like me and her having sex in the backyard etc. she said tha...
A. 31 January 2010: I think this is completely normal. I think it's very kind that all of your fantasies (really? ALL of them?) involve your wife. But, it's not the end of the world if once in awhile you fantasize about Jennifer Lopez and a one-on-one session. I think ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm missing out on my youth by being in love.
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm 23 years old and have been in my relationship since I was nineteen, so we're going on four years now. We live together, have a dog, and are partners and best friends! The problem is... I feel like i'm missing out on my youth...
A. 30 January 2010: You need to start getting flirty and wearing nice clothes with your man! I would tell you, eh - break up with him, go do your thing, enjoy being single. But, you're partners, best friends and this sounds like a great relationship. Why ruin that to ... (read in full...)
My labia is uneven. Is this normal?
Q. My labia is uneven, as in one side is pretty large, and the other side is small and tight. Is this a huge turn off for guys? Is there something very wrong with me?...
A. 29 January 2010: You're perfectly normal!!! Not much on the human body is perfectly symmetrical, including the labia! So don't feel freakish, you're completely normal. Your individuality makes you a woman, because we're all different from each other. Our commonality ... (read in full...)
What kind of fetish is this?
Q. When I am doing anything sexual, I have found that animalistic things turn me on. For example, i wear a cat collar with a bell around my wrist, and my boyfriend wears a dog choker collar loosely around his neck, like a chain necklace. I'll use the ...
A. 26 January 2010: I don't know the right name, but why try and throw it into a box? So you like animalistic sex. As long as you don't enjoy sex with animals, it's all gravy! And hey, I love my fella leaving on his military dog tags on, because it's fun to pull, ... (read in full...)
She avoids me now that she has a new bf! What can I do?
Q. My gf avoids me what to do...? I love her more then myself but she hates me. Now she is in love with a new bf....
A. 25 January 2010: She's moved on, sweetness. If she's avoiding you and has a new boyfriend, she's definitely out of the picture. Time for you to find a new girlfriend! You're a single man on the prowl now. ... (read in full...)
My testicles are beginning to ache/feel numb from masturbation. Should I be concerned?
Q. I've been uncontrollably horny lately through what i think is stress. i dont have a girlffriend at the moment, so i masturbate. usually if i'm comfortable i'll do it once a day or every other day. in the past 3 days ive done it 3 times a day and not ...
A. 25 January 2010: Well, it's always a concern if you have pain. If you're actually experiencing pain, then go to a doctor and make sure that everything checks out. But, if you're just feeling a little sore and worn out, then just chill out with the masturbating and ... (read in full...)
Should I just get it over with and tell them both that my best friend is the father?
Q. I'm eight months and three weeks pregnant with my best friend's baby. My best friend is obviously a guy and it was a stupid, drunken, completely irresponsible night. And... I've been dating another guy for a year and five months now. Yes, I cheated, ...
A. 24 January 2010: Well, there's no easy way to do this... and certainly, both of them will be hurt. Your boyfriend, because you cheated and your best friend, because you kept this secret from him. So it won't be a picnic dropping the bomb. But, I do think it's much ... (read in full...)
If a straight man in a relationship with a straight woman receives "a massage + a happy ending" from a male masseuse--no emotional intimacy involved--is that cheating?
Q. Brief facts: I'm female. Been with my boyfriend for nearly a year. I'm very, very open minded. Compared to other relationships I've been in, our sex life isn't so great (for various reasons), but there's a lot of love between us. I KNOW he's int...
A. 23 January 2010: Hi sweet,
Personally, this is my take. He trolled Craigslist, snuck out behind your back and got off with another person. Emotional intimacy or not, to me that's cheating. Don't let him tell you that it's only cheating if it's with a woman. C... (read in full...)
Is more than friends possible with her?
Q. So to cut a long story short one of my closest friends and I just got through this huge fight. We settled our differences but things are still weird for me. I've always had feelings for her and I made the mistake of letting her know a few times. It ...
A. 22 January 2010: There's always the chance! People change, feelings change, life changes and there's the possibility that someday, the timing will be right. But, if you want that to have a chance of happening, you'll need to back off and give her the space to live ... (read in full...)
Family isn't nice to the guy because of his looks
Q. My parents are normally pretty open minded and supportive of what I do, I am 23 yrs old and have been dating Matt(25) for almost 4 months now. He is the leader singer in a band, has over come an addition as a teenager and has been clean ever since. ...
A. 28 December 2009: Give your family a little more time to adjust and getting over the shock. Then, why not go out together? All go out to dinner, or something fun like bowling? Create a situation where they have to get to know him. Make sure he wears something more ... (read in full...)
Hollywood ex: Do? or don't?
Q. Hi All, So my boyfriend has been sort of hinting that he'd like me to get strip the carpet downstairs, but I'm a little unsure about it. Ladies, have you done it before? Would you recommend it? Does it hurt as much as I think it might? Any ot...
A. 21 December 2009: I get waxed, and all though it hurts while you're getting it (only when you're ACTIVELY getting it. As soon as they're done, it doesn't hurt anymore. At least for me), it's pretty great. I keep a landing strip, because I don't want to feel ... (read in full...)
Was it all a big hoax?
Q. my bf and I have been dating for almost four years. We used to be so amazing together, we had so much fun, and hemade me feel like the most beautiful girl ever. I was so secure in myself and him. Now things are SO different. We have lived together ...
A. 21 December 2009: Sounds like you got past the honeymoon period after the first year (normal) and now you're bored out of your skull (normal). Relationships after that honeymoon period take WORK to be that much fun, and it's easy to get into a rut. It's not ... (read in full...)
I lashed out my fiance and now I regret it!
Q. I know this sounds stupid, selfish and I shouldn’t feel like this. But today I’ve lashed out on my fiancé for no reason to be honest. Today he has been at his brothers wedding all day, which I was invited to but last minute a couple of weeks ...
A. 20 December 2009: Tell him the truth. And if he really loves you, he'll forgive you. Tell him that you lashed out out of jealousy and sadness, that you regret what you said and that you are really, truly sorry. I'm sure if you tell him what you've written here, he'll ... (read in full...)
How can I help my family through a troubled time?
Q. ok, so i know this might sound weird but,my family is not doing so great right now, and everybody knows the economy is bad, but i am trying to think of ways to earn some money to help my family out, but the problem is , Im only 14 and i cant get a ...
A. 20 December 2009: Babysitting is a great way to make extra cash. But, my family is pretty strapped for money too, and you know what really helps them? Having my sister (15) voluntarily help out around the house. She works hard to keep the home under control so that ... (read in full...)
Do girls like it when a guy gels his hair?
Q. I have a odd question, In general do girls like it better if guys gel their hair,or if they just wear it naturally? guys who gel their hair it may look neater but at the same time im not sure if girls think its a turn off because a guy spends som...
A. 20 December 2009: Depends on the girl and depends on your hair!! Maybe your hair just isn't meant to be gelled. Some girls love the natural look and some gals just adore a guy who spends the extra time getting ready. Just like some guys love made up girls and some ... (read in full...)
What are some precautions before you have oral sex?
Q. I might eat out my girlfriend for the first time. This would be frist time for me doing it and first time for it being done to her. We have already masterbated one another, so we know we want to do this. What would be some helpful hints/precautions?...
A. 20 December 2009: You're not losing your virginity, but this article still may be helpful, as it goes into detail about the clitoris. This part of the body is the money spot and will be your key to the goldmine!!
http:... (read in full...)
I wonder how people "know" when they meet the person they'll marry for the first time
Q. You hear so many people say, when you meet the one "you just know" and "I knew I would marry him". How many people feel this strongly on a first meeting? Did you know this would be the man you would marry when you first met him? ...
A. 19 December 2009: When I first met my husband, I was instantly curious about him. And you could say that we instantly "clicked". And we had good conversational chemistry. And my gut felt good (unlike with some guys and you meet them and your gut says "CREEPER! ... (read in full...)
Do men prefer fake over real breasts?
Q. Are fake breasts better than natural, small ones? I mean, I know this has been asked before. But it seems like they are. I've asked many guys and they say "Hey, if it improves her beauty, then it's all good!". And I read this article: http://...
A. 18 December 2009: As somebody who worked in an industry filled with naked women and men leering, I'll tell you right now that most are MUCH more attracted to real breasts. Fake breasts are a novelty, and feel weird. My husband slept with a girl who had fake breasts, ... (read in full...)
I am also worried about my sister's influence on me...
Q. I am 20 and have recently moved from the country to to work in town.I have accommodation at my place of employment. My older sister works in the same town and stays in a commune. She is going out with a guy from work and introduced my to...
A. 18 December 2009: You are your own woman now, and just because you share DNA doesn't mean you have to share a bad case of Chlamydia. You sound more smart and level-headed than your wild sister, and you can be grateful years down the line that you didn't get pregnant ... (read in full...)
I am thinking of giving my b/f a self portrait for Christmas
Q. hi guys this is a questin about my bf's xmas present. im a very shy person but i want to give my boyfriend a personal gift and i was going to draw a picture of myself in underwear in a type of silouhette style. the problem is i am scared he won't ...
A. 18 December 2009: The first Christmas me and my artist fella shared, he made me a gorgeous painting... I was in it, as was a poem and a clock installed. It is my most treasured gift of all time. Many, many, many paintings later, it's still my prized possession. He ... (read in full...)
I miss my father and scared to confide in my mom!
Q. I,m a 13 year old girl and my father is in the army, so he is always very busy and he is never around to help me. I am scared of sharing things with my mom. My problem is that we have just shifted to anew place and I hate this place. I don't even ...
A. 17 December 2009: Hey, sweet. My heart breaks for you. Things will get better, they will! Do you feel like you could write your Mom a note? Tell her that you need to talk, or just write out your problems? I think it will help a lot if you do open up and talk to her ... (read in full...)
If I'm pregant, I want an abortion without being judged!
Q. hi i am really worried that i am pregnant. I have a feeling that i am and i think im starting to look as though i am. i am scared to go to the doctors because I am afraid of being judged and i know it sounds stupid but if i am i want to abo...
A. 17 December 2009: Hey, you know what? You are in the USA which is home to Planned Parenthood, one of the most easiest places for a woman like to you go. They'll go over your options with you, and if an abortion is what you think is best, they will not judge you for ... (read in full...)
How do I attract a guy that doesn't want me for sex
Q. so all my friends have boyfriends and have already lost there virginity. they dont pick on me for still being a virgin but they dont really talk about anything else beside haveing sex. i am really focused on school and haveing a job. im almost 17 ...
A. 17 December 2009: You know what? I stayed a virgin until 19 and had lots of boyfriends until then. And sure, I'm positive that they would have been overwhelmed with joy if I said, "hey - let's have sex", but I was strong, confident and they never tried to push the ... (read in full...)
My relationship is falling apart. Is there any way to save it?
Q. I've been in a relationship for almost 3 years now, and so far it's been amazing. It's a very healthy relationship, we have good communication and are very close... but lately, in the last few months, things are beginning to fall apart and I don't ...
A. 17 December 2009: Hello sweetness,
College & work, it's a bitch. Gets in the way, messes things up. So, it just means that your relationship will take a little more work... but it's not impossible to get through this and ultimately come out stronger - you'll a... (read in full...)
I'm a born again Christian. How to prevent the relationship while keeping the friendship?
Q. My name is Jerusalem, i'm 24 born again christain and i am not allowed to be in a realtionship and i met this gay his very nice person, he is realy nice to me. when we met I told him that i can't be in a relationship because i realy want to be a ...
A. 16 December 2009: I'm a little confused. Did you become a nun? Because otherwise I'm not quite sure what religion you are in that says you can't be in a relationship... is he of another religion or something?
Premarital sex is usually the big no-no, and I'm sure... (read in full...)
Is it worth pursuing a relationhsip knowing it can't be sexual unless we're married?
Q. I have been seeing this guy for a little over 2 months now. When we first began seeing each other, it was already understood about his standpoint with God. His faith is strong and he furthers his relationship with Him everyday. I respect that. ...
A. 16 December 2009: Well, I really think that if you like him and he likes you and you respect and love his faith - I think maybe you should try to make it work. It seems like you really like this guy, and if you can see a future with him, I would keep it going. It ... (read in full...)
I'm worried I'm getting too much sex!
Q. Hello dear eaders, well i'm 22 and my GF is 19, we are together 5 months.We have sex 2-4 times per day each 2-3 days.And i didn't look at the watch, but maybe 1 sex act is like 40-50 minutes...so i wanted to ask is it normal? or it's addiction.We ...
A. 16 December 2009: Hey, you're totally normal. And you've only been together for 5 months, so the excitement is all still there! After awhile, you may slow down a bit... but if you never do, CONGRATULATIONS! As long as your rendezvous aren't getting in the way of the ... (read in full...)
Am I weird for liking "looser" girls?
Q. I really prefer a women who is loose over one that is tight. I just think it feels better. Also I really enjoy girls playing with big toy. Am I really weird or is there other people that feel this way as well....
A. 14 December 2009: I don't think you're weird at all. Sounds like a normal fetish (of sorts) to me! ... (read in full...)
I want to experiment more buy my g/f says its too weird
Q. Ok, i have been wanting to ask fro some advice. My girlfriend of about 10 months barely gave me my and her first hand job about a week ago, and it was also the first time i rubbed/fingered a girl and it was her first time too. She ended up liking ...
A. 14 December 2009: Sounds like she's just not ready for that kind of action. And good for her, if I do say so myself... you wouldn't want her doing something she doesn't want to do, or isn't emotionally ready for, would you? She just won't appreciate it now like she ... (read in full...)
Why am I so attracted to black guys?
Q. I'm 17, white. Okay so I've always been attracted to guys of all races, but recently I've been really attracted to black guys. What's with my sudden interest?...
A. 14 December 2009: Um, okay, the first poster is confusing me. You are aware that being attracted to black men is not "a phase" to grow out of. You are attracted to whoever you feel attracted to. Period. And the first poster refers to African Americans as if they are ... (read in full...)
Does my boss I fancy know that I was snooping on his facebook profile?
Q. Okay so I have been view my bosses facebook page (not on company computer). His photo, music, profile were open. (I have not ask him to be facebook friends do to the fact he is my boss but I am curious about him) A couple of days after I viewed ...
A. 13 December 2009: Facebook did just change their privacy settings, forcing everyone to review their security choices and re-decide if they want the world to be able to see their entire profile. Could be he just switched his privacy settings. I doubt that he knew you ... (read in full...)
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