A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a question; my wife and I have been together for 15 years or so. We have talked about sexual fantasies in the past and my wife claimed she never had any, or the ones she did were like me and her having sex in the backyard etc. she said that she never fantasized about other men. While we were going to have sex, I asked if she had any fantasies recently… Half kidding, half serious. She began to tell me about a fantasy she had about a pizza delivery guy dropping off a pizza and it turning into her and him having sex… I will leave out the details of her fantasy, but you get the point.. I asked where was I in the fantasy, she said she didn't know and that I wasn’t there…. Here is my question, I have fantasies as well, but they included her.. Such and a threesome with another girl, and so on.. My fantasies don’t exclude her.. How should I feel about this, I felt kind of bad that she would fantasize about sex with someone other than me.. Should I feel bad? To the women reading this, is this normal for a wife to fantasize about someone other than her husband, I am not mad about it, kind of feeling left out and maybe a confused about how I should feel. Any thoughts on this..
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Share Bear  +, writes (1 February 2010):
 But... your threesome fantasy prescribes another woman as well as her- it Definately requires someone else!
Her pizza delivery guy fantasy does nothing of the sort. Just collect a pizza on the way home, fabricate some sort of delivery hat and call 'did someone order a pizza?' as you arrive home!
It's just a scenario; it neither includes nor specifically excludes you. It's solely the 'just met' / 'shouldn't be doing this' fantasy!
Enjoy- and don't worry at all!
A
male
reader, pyan  +, writes (31 January 2010):
hi
remember its a fantasy, she my well like to idea but its a fantasy and that all. i have had fantasies that have included my wife and some that are about her and not me. she tells me hers and i am sure she would never carry them out and often i am not part of them. so yes it normal. don't ask if you don't want to know.
i had a girl friend who wanted to have another guy watch her, so i would talk about it to her, one night i said he wanted her and she cum in seconds, how did you think i felt about that
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A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (31 January 2010):
 Mind do not go to search for any truth in fantasy. Fantasy is to have more spark, and if this purpose serve, then material has nothing to do with reality.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (31 January 2010):
 Fantasy is fairy stories we tell in our head... Fairy stories not reality. Now it is wonderful that you and your wife are open enough to share your day dreams with each other, brilliant, that level of communication is the basis of a very good marriage. However it is not good to then get upset about what she tells you. If every time she says something true, you get upset, she'll stop telling you things, or she'll start lying.
Daydreams, fantasies, night dreams, we cannot control what we think about, our brains just wonder about all types of things. At the moment your fantasies include her, but they won't always, thoughts are just thoughts, they are not wishes and wants. She is not gonna run off with the pizza guy, she's not being unfaithful by thinking off such things, she doesn't love you less. It's perfectly normal to fantasise or day dream about lots of things, sometimes we even dream about things that really disgust us. We don't control these thoughts, they just come, and you shouldn't give it another thought, it just means she's normal.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2010): It is totally normal. Besides, fantasies for women don't necessarily mean you actually want to do it. Men often do want to carry out their fantasies but many women don't. Also, for women, fantasies are the time they get to have an orgasm without emotional attachment. When you watch porn for example, after you have your orgasm do you think about the star with love and affection? Probably not; and its the same for women. Once she gets her orgasm from the pizza delivery boy fantasy she doesn't think about it. So don't worry about it. Maybe you can act it out for her and have fun with it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2010): 100% normal... and you are SO WRONG to want to hear her truth and then react negatively. She trusted you, and now your going to make her feel bad. FORGET her ever opening up to you again.... stupid! DO NOT ACT THAT WAY!
Guys... do NOT ask your women questions that you can't handle the answer... not how many guys they've slept with, not is my dick the biggest you've ever seen, not anything...
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (31 January 2010):
 I think this is completely normal. I think it's very kind that all of your fantasies (really? ALL of them?) involve your wife. But, it's not the end of the world if once in awhile you fantasize about Jennifer Lopez and a one-on-one session. I think that your wife was just being honest with you and I'm sure she wasn't trying to insult you or make you feel excluded.
For men, threesomes are this ultimate sexy activity, with lots of boobs and hips and curves. For women, a threesome may not sound as sexy. Two drooling, dripping, bulging men poking and prodding you... it's a lot of work. Some chicks are into that, but many are not - and their fantasies involve more twosome action. It's much more intimate.
Don't take offense. I get to act out my fantasies with my fella. But certainly Johnny Depp gets some good solo attention from me in my fantasies.
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