A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my new girlfriend for about 4 months now and things are going okay. Yesterday my g/f and I met a group of friends for drinks after work. One of my good friends got a little buzzed and he accidentally blurted out to everyone at the table that a group of us guys go to this asian massage parlor every month and get a happy ending.My new girlfriend heard that, looked at me and said "didn't you get a massage last Monday?" Of course the answer was "yes" and now she is really pissed at me. My buddies and I have been going to this one massage parlor since high school to get happy endings. Its just a quick, fun release, with a relaxing deep massage afterward. There's nothing like it and even though I have dated girls on and off since high school I never stopped the massages.I don't see what the harm is in this and why my g/f is pissed at me. She is not a trained masseuse. There is never anything but hand contact so I cannot get a STD. I may as well be having my thumb rubbed. Its just another body part. I think this is harmless. Am I missing something here?
View related questions:
std Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2010): Wow. I've been to those types of places before (when I was single) I can't believe that you think there is nothing wrong with that. I don't mean "it's wrong" I just mean it is as far as your girlfriend is concerned and you should respect that. If you can't see that than you two are not compatible because that is a huge gap in personal relationship values between you two.Would you be cool with her getting rubbed out by some massage dude every month? Like someone said..if your both cool with it then great and good for you guys. But if not, you are 100% wrong (only because your gf does not feel good about having another chick having what she perceives as a form of intimacy with you.)Just to be clear, I don't judge or think bad of you. What shocks me is that you seem to think that your gf is making a big deal out of nothing, when in fact 95% of people would feel as she does. You need to find a girl that thinks like you do. (good luck with that)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2010): Dude, that is really poor on your part. You have been dishonest and deceitful, it would also make her feel pretty low as you are getting something elsewhere. So hat if you did it since high school? What you should have done is talked about it with her first, if she is ok with it good for you and if not, then you need to stop it or find someone who doesn't mind.Now I don't see anything wrong with it if both partners agree, I will sometimes bet one myself, but n saying that, my girlfriend also gets them from time to time
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2010): you should have discussed this with your girlfriend at the beginning of your relationship. you can do whatever you choose to in your life but you do not have the right to do something that will affect another person's life without them knowing about it- you have taken away her right to make her own decisions about how she lives her life. the reason you didn't discuss it with her is because you knew she wouldn't be happy and you wanted your cake and eat it. you have treated her very disrespectfully
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2010): So is this practice something you plan on doing your whole life? Even if you are married with kids some day? Under what circumstances would you give it up?
while I agree with part of what you say about it being harmless, your girlfriend obviously has issues with it. Did you know that women (single or married) back in the 1800's used to go to their doctors to get orgasms?? Its true. It was considered a necessary medical procedure to relieve a woman's built up stress, known as hysteria, because her uneducated neanderthal mate wouldn't take the time to give her an orgasm. That practice was socially acceptable at one time. Do we look back in time at those medical doctors who treated hysteria and call them male whores? Its all a matter of perspective and what the current social value system has brainwashed you into thinking.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2010): Since you see nothing wrong in getting milkshake from another woman why not tell your gf that it is ok for another man to play with her clit and arouse her by only using his fingers, and when she cums it is not a big deal.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2010): i actually agree with you in one way, but i don't quite think you should expect her to be okay with it especially because you never told her about this. i do think you should have told her about it to begin with so that she would know whether or not she could handle being with you despite the fact that you get this service. i don't think it's cheating. it is something, when done by a pro, that can bring great relief of stress. if you want to stay with her though, and she can't compromise on this, is there any way to teach her how to give this to you instead of a pro? i think in all fairness that if she isn't okay with it (because you never told her to begin with), that maybe you should look into turning to her. granted she won't be as good as a professional masseuse. they can do amazing things, but is losing the happy ending massage with a professional a worse fate than losing your girl?
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (5 February 2010):
You're cheating. No wonder she's angry.
...............................
A
male
reader, wut2do? +, writes (5 February 2010):
Oh man, are you serious? What would you do if your girlfriend said to you: "My girlfriends and I have been letting these male masseuses go down on us, but there is always a sheet of saran wrap between their tongue and our privates, and then we get a nice relaxing massage afterward".
Would you be cool with that?
...............................
A
male
reader, Myth Buster +, writes (5 February 2010):
It is a myth the gf should break off with men just because of such encounters-she may ultimately ruin a beautiful relationship,and fall prey to a man whose bedded lots of women and has std.
You need to communicate with gf. Tell her that whilst u were in school, you visited the parlour for relief,with a bit of fun as its different when someone else masturbates you,rather than yourself all the boring time. Show her how to please you, like the parlour girls,show her exactly what excites you , and promise her you will never go to parlours again. Would she rather that you had sex with umpteen other ladies before meeting her?. Oh and make sure you ask her to show you how to please her and reciprocate to her-she'll love it- Happy loving. She's most welcome to ask me ANY questions.
...............................
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (5 February 2010):
 You're getting a handjob from another girl. And trying to say you're just getting a massage? Might as well get your thumb rubbed? So you're having if your girlfriend went out and got fingered by a guy, followed by getting a full body massage, if she told you, "it's just like him sticking his finger in my nose! It's just another body part.", you'd be okay with it?
I can't blame your girlfriend for being pissed. I'd be pissed off too. It's harmless if you're single, I suppose. Playing with legal fire a bit, but whatever... you're a free man and can do as you please. But, once you're with someone, especially in a committed relationship, you're committing to keeping your sexual pleasure and relationships exclusive with her. It's definitely not okay in my book.
...............................
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (5 February 2010):
Yeah you are totally missing something...sorry dude, but that's disgusting. If I were your girlfriend I would be so disgusted with you and would dump you. You pay a PROSTITUTE to jerk you off and then give you a massage! You don't see how that is bad? Wow! Why do you think those places get busted all the time? Because it's considered prostitution. Gross!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2010): Well, there might not be any chance of STD's but this is still behaviour that your gf might view as threatening as its really her job to be giving you happy endings...
Imagine if a male massuse was rubbing your gf to orgasm every months. How would you feel about that?
...............................
|
