A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:You hear so many people say, when you meet the one "you just know" and "I knew I would marry him".How many people feel this strongly on a first meeting?Did you know this would be the man you would marry when you first met him? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2009): Signs i was falling for him..
... You think of him when hes not with you, and when he is, you don't think at all..
.. When making out with him, feels just as good as sex..
... You stay up untill 7 in the morning, go to work, come back home, have roughly 1 - 2 hours sleep.. and repeat this pattern for 2weeks straight and still not have that 'moody' feeling normal people usually have.. Lol!
.. If your together in a room.. You somehow HAVE to be touching each other..
... You find yourself posing or making 'pretty' faces when hes in the same room as you, or when your having a conversation..
.. All you want to do is spend all your time with him..
When i knew he was 'the one'.. Haa'!
... When we got split up by our parents (my partner is my dad's gf's son) We'd both take public transport for 3 hours to see each other even if its only for a couple of minutes..
.. Doing anything to be able to fall asleep next to each other even sleeping at parks/beaches/on playgrounds...
... Standing around a payphone in the rain in the middle of winter so you can be the first to call to say happy birthday..
There is so much more.. But i can't be bothered, all i want 2 do is go cuddle up with my mister!
5 years and a baby later and we're still at it!xOx
A
male
reader, daletom  +, writes (19 December 2009):
I don't think the "love at first sight" thing happens very often, if at all. It's easy to glamorize the first meeting in hindsight. To get a more accurate measurement you might ask the question from the other perspective:
"How often have you met somebody, and thought "This is the guy/gal I'm going to marry." - and then it didn't work out?"
My wife and I (35 years and still counting) ended up writing to each other - real letters, on real paper (or a friendship card) - for about 3 months before we actually met face-to-face. In retrospect it was a great way for two quiet-and-shy people to get acquainted. We developed a mental connection, and started something like an emotional attachment before we ever laid eyes on each other.
The day we met, we had our first date. I'll confess that before it was over, I was thinking "Is she the ONE?". When I dropped her off, I decided to be real bold and try to kiss her. She kissed BACK - REALLY kissed back! And I decided that it was time to start thinking seriously about making her my wife. About 3 months after first meeting, she agreed to be married - and we were married a year and two weeks after the first in-person meeting.
p.s. - I definitely believe that what's between the ears is more significant to long-term attraction than any other factor. Bronowski discusses this in one of the later chapters of "The Ascent of Man". If you're really interested in what attracts people to become married, you should read that chapter. (The rest of the book is top-notch too, especially if you're interested in the history of science or technology.)
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A
male
reader, Jace +, writes (19 December 2009):
The moment I met my wife I thought "this girl is perfect",although she laughs and says that she thought I was annoying and danced with me thinking if she did I would finally leave her alone. I realized she was the girl I wanted to marry oddly enoygh during a huge fight we were having. We had been dating for a little over a year and it was christmas time and she wanted me to go home with her to her family, and my buddies wanted me to go on a ski trip. we were both yelling and she looked so cute mad and I started to laugh which of course made her twice as mad, but in the end I kissed her and she was happy. needless to say a few hours later I had my buddies calling me whipped for passing up on the ski trip but I went home with her for the holidays and told her dad she was the girl I was going to marry some day. afew months later I propsed and now we are married with 2 beautiful kids.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2009): Oh gosh.. I am not sure haha, but I really have this feeling in me right now about my boyfriend, a feeling I didn't have before. Like I just know he's the one. But we're not married yet, so only time will tell...
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (19 December 2009):
 When I first met my husband, I was instantly curious about him. And you could say that we instantly "clicked". And we had good conversational chemistry. And my gut felt good (unlike with some guys and you meet them and your gut says "CREEPER! CREEPER! CREEPER!" - with him, my gut said "ahhh, here's a gentleman"). But did I know I would marry him? NO WAY.
Now, had some little fairy whispered in my ear, "hey, you're going to end up marrying this guy", I don't think I would have argued with it... hey, he was deliciously sexy as hell. But not in a million years did I really think that that was my husband I was meeting. I just knew that his jacket fit those shoulders really, really well.
I did feel strongly about one thing: that I wanted to see him again.
I think that perhaps in the span of time, those kind of "I saw him and I knew" relationships happen at a rate of .004%. I won't rule them out. But for the rest if the population, unless you're in a Hollywood Blockbuster, that's not the way it works. Listen to your gut, because I find that mine is usually right. Gotta love intuition!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2009): the whole notion that you just "know" is BS! Don't buy into it. As was stated earlier, there's no damn choir of angels, or anything of the sort.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (19 December 2009):
Sorry to disappoint you but there will never be full on fireworks and a choir of angels to announce the arrival of your handsome prince.
What you DO get is the feeling of a connection. You meet someone, and there's that spark, perhaps a bigger spark than when you've met previous boyfriends.
I think the main thing is that you realise early on how special he is, and the big thing is that he doesn't disappoint.
I know you meet a lot of guys and you like them but then they start talking about how the BNP have some good ideas, or they get really nasty when they've had a bad day... your feelings will soon disappear if you've got any self respect.
When you meet your husband, you know you REALLY like him and this just keeps being re-enforced by his actions over time.
Good Luck!! xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answers.
I think what I was trying to establish was how often does this sort of thing happen?
I have heard a few people say "oh the first time I met him I knew I would marry him".
Is it a ridiculous notion to think this?
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (19 December 2009):
 When i first met my husband i had no idea i'd marry him!
it was early days but I did gain a good impression about him from the outset and as I got to know him I felt at ease.
I knew he was "the one" once i started to fall for him.
Some people do believe in love at first sight, for others it takes time. Everyone is different.
Hope that clarify's things for you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2009): I agree, I just don't believe in love at first sight. I believe in lust at first sight, and sometimes that gets a relationship jump started, but if you don't share any common ground or can't develop a friendship and a mental and spiritual connection then that lust thing goes right out the window because it never lasts. It is the initial rush of hormones and brain chemicals that flood your body when you are simply "attracted".
I think when people say, you just know, they don't really mean you just know the minute you meet them. I think they mean that their relationship develops to a point where everything lines up, you can feel the love in your partner by his actions, not just his words and the level of trust is very deep. You are on the same page as far as your relationship and where you want it to go and how your dreams for the future will go....so you just know when you know you have won their heart and soul.
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female
reader, lovelife1437 +, writes (19 December 2009):
I know exactly what you're saying because my ex-boyfriend of 7 years ago (we dated for 5 months) knew he wanted to marry me, we only dated for 5 months so I don't know if he knew much about me but I guess his heart knew. He said it was indescribable and that he just followed his heart. I broke up with him because I had second thoughts. It's been 7 years now and we're still in contact. He still loves me and could not move on. As for me, I don't think I can think of marriage at the first meeting, it's not logical. He listens to his heart, I tend to listen to my head more because I'm always reasoning and analyzing. I feel as though love at first sight is more of a physical thing than mental. It's one thing to be attracted to someone and it's totally a different connection when you actually start to converse. I wonder if those people that "knew" on the first meeting are still married.
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