A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so all my friends have boyfriends and have already lost there virginity. they dont pick on me for still being a virgin but they dont really talk about anything else beside haveing sex. i am really focused on school and haveing a job. im almost 17 and i have had the oppertunity to lose "it" but i realized that i wasnt ready to lose "it" at that time and since that guy i havent dated anyone. im afraid that if i do get a boyfriend that i'll start letting one of my goals slip. but im sick of people that i go to school with other than my friends makeing fun o me cuz im still a virgin.i happen to be proud that i havent caved into the pressures of sex but i dont wana spend the rest of my life "pure" how do i get a guy that doesnt want me for only sex?
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male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (17 December 2009):
 the guys are teasing you so you put out and grls just so there jealous you shouldnt have sex for the reasons you described stay focused on your goals maybe in time a decent man will come your way theres no gurantee on that but having sex is not gonna help you in any good way
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (17 December 2009):
 You know what? I stayed a virgin until 19 and had lots of boyfriends until then. And sure, I'm positive that they would have been overwhelmed with joy if I said, "hey - let's have sex", but I was strong, confident and they never tried to push the boundaries. I think that confidence is very attractive to men - I never had a problem finding a guy and having a great relationship, filled with fun, making out and adventures. Not to mention, I'm sure they were curious about me because they knew I didn't put out easily... and then once they got to know me, they were hooked. Remember - guys should like you for YOU, not your T&A. And after you lose your virginity, you should remember that too. A good guy is worth finding.
Not all guys are pigs. Yeah, some are, but you just need to remember who YOU are and that you are holding out for someone special. Don't fall weak to any guys who are pushy... just listen to your gut, and when the time is right, it'll tell you. Eventually, I met a guy, knew that it was right, lost my virginity to him after 3 months and then 4 years later I married him. I listened to my gut - and it was right. Don't underestimate your intuition.
I think you're smart and solid. You won't get any diseases or get pregnant or get hurt badly by a guy who uses you and drops you. And if someone makes fun of you, just tell them, "hey, I'm worth the wait". Because, sister you TOTALLY are.
Good luck, sweetness!
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A
female
reader, lilacpilgrim  +, writes (17 December 2009):
 At the age you are now, it's highly unlikely that you'll find a boy within your age range who really likes you and never thinks about sex. Hormones are going crazy and their thoughts are racing with "sexsexsexsexsex"
That doesn't mean you can't still try dating. There are going to be some really great boys out there who will wait until you're ready, or might not even be ready themselves. I know there are great boys out there; I'm lucky to be surrounded by them as friends.
What I'm trying to say is that teenage boys are practically driven by hormones. It follows that their minds will be on sex for quite a bit of the time. That means there will be plenty of sleazeball guys just looking to get laid, but there are still going to be those nice ones who just want someone to love. At this age, they'll probably be relatively hard to find, so stop looking! Love will happen to you, but it'll be more likely to happen if you're not running around trying to find that special someone.
I hope this all makes sense to you. Best of luck! x
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A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (17 December 2009):
 Theres heaps out there, but they all still want sex. you'll have to have a (d'n'm) with him and if your worth it he'll wait for you. Its a natural part of life ... yes thats LIFE, a sexual transmitted desease.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (17 December 2009):
 Well, all of your gf's only got boyfriend because they put out. So what do you think your chances are?
Have your gf's got boyfriends or have they got guys who use them for easy and free sex? Is there even one of the boyfriends who wouldn't instantly accept it it if you offered them sex? Do you want one of those guys?
Al your friends talk about is sex... and do you want to be like that? Be a girl with nothing else in her life but a dick? You are focused on school, any particular direction? What is your dream for your future? To be fucked or to pursue a career of some kind?
To be fucked is easy, you can even make it a career. There have been several women in the news selling their virginity, it will give you something to talk about and some cash as well. Then you can be just like all your friends.
Or do you want something more?
At your age, I couldn't honestly say that you can get a guy who wants something else besides sex. You might run into one, but it will be a lucky accident, not really something you can make happen. What you can make happen is that you get good grades and pursue the career of your choice. Love tends to happen while we are busy living our own lives.
So, fuck your friends (no not literally). There is more to live then sex and you have plenty of time to discover it later with someone you love and who loves you for more then just your girl bits.
You don't get love, love gets you. When it happens, you will understand why this is so.
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