A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: I love my boyfriend a lot, but its just it's a long distance relationship, so we argue quite a bit, and basically every time we have an argument, I get angry about it and can't be affectionate as I would normally. He tries to 'kiss up' to me after we argue by being like 'I love you x' and calling me 'Baby' and stuff like that, and it really infuriates me...is that wrong?I sort of feel like he's just trying to manipulate me? I don't know...Basically what I want to know is, is it wrong for me to get mad at him for being like this?
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (6 February 2010):
Does he do this AFTER an argument, or to try and get his way? If he's doing this to try and get his way, that's just obnoxious and manipulative, but if this is him trying to make up after an argument, then I excuse him. He's trying to do the right thing and show you that he cares.
But, I can totally feel you. You just need to make it clear to him that after an argument you need some space to cool off. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all - after a fight, you're just still all riled up and not ready to hop back into affection and lovey-dovey hugs and kisses.
So, just say, "listen, I love you. But, just give me a half hour to go and chill and then I'll come and give you a kiss". Assure him that it's not him, it's just how you need to recuperate.
Good luck, sweetness!!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2010): What about relaxing and enjoying his kissing up? I mean, its nice to hear those things, and he's only trying to soften you up and remind you of his feelings for you. You get annoyed because, well, you don't want to kiss and make up, you want to stay mad! But is staying mad really that great? Give in once in a while and let him "win". Im pretty sure it'll make you happier.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnother thing, it's not because he is trying to make up with me, its just the WAY he tries to make up with me
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