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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Does my boss I fancy know that I was snooping on his facebook profile?
Q. Okay so I have been view my bosses facebook page (not on company computer). His photo, music, profile were open. (I have not ask him to be facebook friends do to the fact he is my boss but I am curious about him) A couple of days after I viewed ...
A. 13 December 2009: Facebook did just change their privacy settings, forcing everyone to review their security choices and re-decide if they want the world to be able to see their entire profile. Could be he just switched his privacy settings. I doubt that he knew you ... (read in full...)
My partner appeared in an adult movie to get money to support her and our baby!
Q. Hi, I have come across that my current girlfriend was recently in an adult film. we weren't together at the time, but we have a child together, i am 22, we had our daughter when we were 20 we were together for 1 year prior to the baby's birth. We...
A. 12 December 2009: Okay, maybe others will disagree with me, but here it is. She's young - so that means that no big high paying career is going to suddenly offer her a whomping salary and benefits. Porn is easy. It's there, it's quick and you get a huge payment right ... (read in full...)
Does she feel masturbating is wrong?
Q. Dear readers, how do I get my girlfriend to masturbate... I've told her to try it several times and said she didn't feel anything. She says she only feels it when I do it. She also doesn't like putting her finger in herself... does she not enjoy ma...
A. 11 December 2009: Amen Cerberus.
She probably just isn't familiar with what she likes... and for most women, sticking a finger in won't do anything for ya. And every woman enjoys masturbating in a different way. She just needs to figure out what rocks her boat.
... (read in full...)
Is this a phase you hit when you are under pressure?
Q. I've been thinking about this other guy lately. He and I dated a few years ago but never got to see eachother so we decided to just be friends. I'm getting married soon to the most amazing guy ever and I really do love him with all my heart... I ...
A. 10 December 2009: Oh, okay, you're 17-18? I'm sorry, I should have read that. Well, maybe this isn't the right time for you to get married quite yet. Why not stay engaged for awhile so that you can sort your head out and make sure that marriage is the right thing for ... (read in full...)
Is this a phase you hit when you are under pressure?
Q. I've been thinking about this other guy lately. He and I dated a few years ago but never got to see eachother so we decided to just be friends. I'm getting married soon to the most amazing guy ever and I really do love him with all my heart... I ...
A. 10 December 2009: I kind of think it's a phase, but at the same time if it's super intense, you might want to listen to the little voice in your head. Maybe it's telling you something about your current relationship and if that's what you really want. But, often ... (read in full...)
Newly-wed virgin looking for tips...
Q. i'm newly wed and am n virgin i need tips on sex...
A. 9 December 2009: Relax. It won't be perfect the first time, second time or even fifth time. Have a good attitude, be super open with each other and remember to smile and laugh. It won't be fun if you don't have fun. Take things good and slow and spend a lot of time ... (read in full...)
How do I ask my husband to give me some space during our separation?
Q. My husband and I are seperated at the moment, but he still sends me sms's. I want him to give me some breathing space. How can I tell him to give me some space ? ...
A. 9 December 2009: Be clear, be firm. Tell him that you need breathing room to help yourself heal and to make you feel closer to him. He's definitely going through a lot and is leaning on you for reassurance that things will improve and support. And perhaps that he ... (read in full...)
Should you live together before you get married?
Q. is it good for fiance and finacee to be living together before they get married....
A. 8 December 2009: Oooh, tough question, and one that is definitely a "to each their own" situation. On the one hand, you can really get to know each other and make sure you're compatible. You can adjust to living together and then sliding into marriage won't be such ... (read in full...)
I love my fiancé, but I feel like I'm just getting what's left of him after his past marriages.
Q. My fiance has been married twice before. He's a great guy and I love him to pieces. But, I feel sometimes that I kinda am getting what ever is left of him and his relationships. Maybe thats not such a bad thing, but in somethings it is because he ...
A. 8 December 2009: This is the same guy who isn't interested in the wedding? Well, hmm. What IS he excited about in your relationship? Is he depressed? Do you have fun with each other and go out on dates? How were his last marriages? Is this affecting your ... (read in full...)
He's not interested in our wedding
Q. I started to talk to my fiance yesterday about the wedding and telling him how I was organizing things to make sure the final details were in place. But he just doesn't seem to care or be excited about anything. It just makes me wonder if he cares ...
A. 8 December 2009: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-love-my-fiance-but-i-feel-like.html
Perhaps some extra insight to our OP's problem?... (read in full...)
He's not interested in our wedding
Q. I started to talk to my fiance yesterday about the wedding and telling him how I was organizing things to make sure the final details were in place. But he just doesn't seem to care or be excited about anything. It just makes me wonder if he cares ...
A. 8 December 2009: Well, okay, it's not true that all men don't care about the wedding. My fella was more into it than I was! However, they're not all alike (my guy is an artist, so he was super into the look of it all). Maybe your fella is a big picture kind of guy ... (read in full...)
Is there such a thing as a "drunk dick"?
Q. I recently had sex with this guy and he was drunk... I did things with him sexually before and he could always "finish" even when I gave him a handjob ... but he couldnt when we had sex and it brought down my ego... he said it was beacuse he was ...
A. 8 December 2009: Don't feel like crap. Yes, that's a real thing. Alcohol can definitely "bring down" a party in the boudoir. Not your fault... blame the booze.... (read in full...)
Can you fall back into love?
Q. Hi, Im starting to wonder if i am "in love" with my boyfriend anymore. We have been together for over a year and a half. In the beginning it started out really intense, my heart would beat really fast everytime i saw him and i would want to spend...
A. 7 December 2009: Definitely spend time with your friends and family. You two can be even closer if you give yourselves time apart. As my Mother always says, "in a relationship, your world should become bigger, not smaller" - a.k.a. you shouldn't dwindle your world ... (read in full...)
Any advice on how to be more appealing to guys?
Q. Any advice on how to be more appealing to guys? It seems as if guys get bored with me or something. I've never been asked out on a date nor been in a committed relationship. I've heard the key to success is not to sleep with the guy on the first ...
A. 7 December 2009: If a guy doesn't see you as girlfriend material because you didn't sleep with him on the first date, then he's a scumbag. End of story. He just doesn't see you as "f*ck buddy material". It's not like not sleeping with a guy on the first date is a ... (read in full...)
Is this a good plan?
Q. Hello all again, I'm the same one from http://www.dearcupid.org/question/should-i-recreate-a-scene-from-the-twilight.html . I slept over it, and after indirectly-asking a friend of hers, I came up with what I can do, so that she will have the most...
A. 7 December 2009: It's very tricky, assuming someone will get all of your hints. And it will hurt like hell if she doesn't pick up on them and you lean in to kiss her and she backs away with a "what are you doing?". However, this situation could be magical and ... (read in full...)
How to deal with stupid boys
Q. So, i am not a typical relationship kind of girl. i never liked having a boyfriend or being tied down by commitment. i would much prefer to be single and go out and do whatever i want whenever i want with all of my friends. ive always been proud of ...
A. 7 December 2009: Well, girlfriend, welcome to a break up. The best way for you to make him regret his stupidity is to move on and be happy in your own life. That way he sees that you don't need him to be happy and the stronger you get, the more he'll be sorry about ... (read in full...)
Sex... doggy style!
Q. Hi, my new bf wants to have sex doggy style and he keeps asking me. I haven't done it like that before (it just never appealed to me and my last bf preferred other positions) but my new bf seems to really want it. I told him i didnt like that pos...
A. 7 December 2009: Let him know that this is new territory for you. Trust me, girlfriend, the position is a great one (my fave), and as long as you feel fine communicating to him, you should have a comfortable experience. It is a position that he can get quite deep ... (read in full...)
Do wonderful relationships just "happen" or do they take work
Q. Just curious on what your take is on this, because I've heard two different camps. A lot of people on this site say relationships take work and you need to work at it to keep it in good order; then there are other people who say that when you're in ...
A. 6 December 2009: Even the easiest relationships in the world take work!... (read in full...)
Don't know if I still want the relationship or love him much any more...
Q. Hello, I have been dating a man for about 9 months now and we have had a lot of problems since the beginning. We both have issues with drink and we have been agressive violent with each other on a few occasions when drunk. He has threatned me on a ...
A. 6 December 2009: You are both toxic to each other. What a horrible relationship. You're not helping each other and you're definitely no good for each other. I definitely think that you should end this relationship and start getting help for your own issues and ... (read in full...)
How do I honestly Communicate to my boyfriend that he does not make me a high enough priority?
Q. HELP!!! How do I honestly communicate to my boyfriend that he does not make me a high enough priority? He really does adore me and always tries to do everything possible to make me happy. Lately he has been caught up with his new band. He loves mu...
A. 6 December 2009: Musicians. My Dad is a musician, and let me tell you - this is the life of music. My Mom has always said, to marry a musician, you have to truly love the music because you're married to that just as much as the man. His guitar is his soulmate. He ... (read in full...)
She wants me to shave her legs
Q. My girlfriend wants me to shave her legs. I've never done this before, never even heard of it since her meantioning (to be completely honest) I just want to know other's opinions, experiences etc just so there is some kind of clarification. Thanks...
A. 6 December 2009: Definitely get her to show you how to do it first! But, it's not unheard of, and it's kind of cute! Make sure that you have a fresh razor and that you massage the shaving gel or body wash onto her legs first - gets the hairs to stand up a bit and ... (read in full...)
Should I recreate a scene from the "Twilight" book?
Q. When I was in the 6th grade, a school right next to mine was closed down, and some of the students there came to our school. One of these students was Lisa (fake-name). A friend of mine had a crush on Lisa's friend, so a group evolved. We saw each...
A. 6 December 2009: I agree with CaringGuy. Ask her out on a date, and then END it by kissing her in the meadow! That way, you can feel out how the date goes and get vibes as to whether or not she'll want to be kissed. But, it's a very romantic idea, and she'd be lucky ... (read in full...)
My mother is jealous and hurt because she thinks she's not involved enough with planning my wedding!
Q. I am getting married soon. And preparing for the wedding. Nothing has been really stressfull for me yet because it is a small wedding. My mother is upset at me because she says that I am not sharing anything with her and that when a daughter ...
A. 4 December 2009: Definitely give her a job. Maybe you can make her "wedding coordinator", and on the day of the wedding, she's the one who makes sure that things are happening correctly. On your wedding day, you'll want to enjoy it and not stress about the ... (read in full...)
Nervous, want more than a hook up. How do I get to know him?
Q. I worked at a theme park in the summer. During my last few weeks there I got to know Chris. He worked in a different department. He asked me to hangout but it was right before I was going away to school so I needed to pack and spend time with family ...
A. 4 December 2009: Well, if you hang out with him, don't let yourself be a hook up. Don't put yourself in that position. If you hang out and make out and say goodnight, he'll think of you as a hook up. But, if you hang out and if he makes the move to make out - make ... (read in full...)
Need advice on dating women. I'm starting a bit late at 25!
Q. I'm a 25 yr old from India and work as a software engineer. I'll be moving to the US for grad school (Computer Science) soon (by Jan 2010 or Jun 2010). I've had a pretty interesting and different childhood. I've got an extremely strong i...
A. 4 December 2009: Hey, thanks for replying (and personally to everybody! Love that in an OP). As to how to gauge a woman's intentions... well, it's not as hard as you might think. You just have to use your instincts. If a girl is out to mess around with guys, if ... (read in full...)
Need advice on dating women. I'm starting a bit late at 25!
Q. I'm a 25 yr old from India and work as a software engineer. I'll be moving to the US for grad school (Computer Science) soon (by Jan 2010 or Jun 2010). I've had a pretty interesting and different childhood. I've got an extremely strong i...
A. 3 December 2009: You sound like quite a catch. Just don't verge on desperate, and you'll attract the right kind of woman. I mostly agree with the first poster, except...
I don't think you need to cut your porn viewing. It's occasional, not taking over your lif... (read in full...)
How do I know what is more important
Q. Which do you think is more important? Marrying your best friend, or someone who is great in bed?...
A. 2 December 2009: If made to choose, I choose best friend. You can create chemistry, but being best friends already means that you have some sort of chemistry already. It's crucial to be friends with the guy you end up marrying (and hopefully, he's great in the sack ... (read in full...)
I would love to hear your love stories and if it worked out...
Q. Hi everyone. I feel I'm in love, but I am just curious about your love story? Did it work out in the end? Still together? Can't dream of anything better? Please share your story, with me, I've known him since I was in 1st grade and he was in 3rd, I ...
A. 30 November 2009: Well, depends on the love story! Every guy before the one I married I eventually broke up with (or got broken up with) and got over it. I met my fella at 19 through a series of random events, and coincidences and ended up marrying him. It was quite ... (read in full...)
14 and want a baby...
Q. Im 14 and i really want a baby. i know this sounds stupid at my age but its all i think about. i havent had a good education at school so far but i think if i have a baby it will be great. just somebody to love to be there for to give it a cuddle ...
A. 30 November 2009: So I don't have to write out my answer, I'll just give you this link:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-can-i-control-my-urge-to-have.html
I think you'll find it very relevant and helpful (besides the miscarriage part), and if you read thro... (read in full...)
How do I tell my boyfriend my friend is coming to see me (us) in a few weeks time?
Q. Hi, I moved to London with my boyfriend earlier this year, everything is great, i just miss my friends! my best friend in the whole world is coming to london in December to visit her family and me too and she has assumed we will do something tog...
A. 30 November 2009: Geez, this doesn't sound like a very good friend to me! How exhausting her trip will be on you! But, it'll test your relationship (with your boyfriend AND your friend), and hopefully everyone will be a little stronger after the visit.
I'd definite... (read in full...)
Super cautious NOT to get pregnant...
Q. My bf and I just had sex for the second time and he made sure the condom was on, every 5 minutes, and when he was about to ejaculate we took it off then i did oral sex on him, when we were done i checked if the condomwas leaking or anything and ...
A. 30 November 2009: You can't be too cautious! But, like the other Aunts say, if you really want to be able to relax and enjoy sex without pausing every five minutes, you should get a second form of birth control to really give you peace of mind.
But, you're a... (read in full...)
I don't want to hurt his feelings! So how do I turn down this guy's unwanted attentions?
Q. I have recently started talking to a guy via work email. He works in a different part of the country and we started talking by accident after a case of mistaken identity. On the first day he made an inappropriate comment, but I rolled with it and ...
A. 25 November 2009: I really think that the only way to get this persistent guy off your back is to be firm. Don't gently dance around what you want of him, just put it out there and be assertive. You don't need to be mean about it, but you do have to be clear and ... (read in full...)
How do I know if he is right for me? And why am I fantasizing about other men?
Q. I have been in a loving relationship for over a year and a half but lately, it feels like things have changed. I haven't been wanting sex as much and I'm afraid that it may be because he isn't exactly in shape, but he never really has been, either, ...
A. 25 November 2009: I think what you're feeling is normal and I see it happen a lot at that year and a half point. When you've gotten super comfortable and you hit a bump because the honeymoon period is coming to a close.
If you're not attracted to him, don't be... (read in full...)
How do I get sex from him?
Q. I initiated the sexual fun and for 4 months things were on then off then back on. now we are just friends no benefits. how do i get him to want me again? i have tried everything from: talking dirty to saying i want sex all the time, how horny i am, ...
A. 24 November 2009: Whoa, whoa, if you want him to want you again you need to back off and give him room to miss you and fantasize about you! If he's resisted all of those advances, it seems pretty clear to me that he's just not interested. Sister, I commend you for ... (read in full...)
I'm worried he has developed feelings for my best friend, after he performed oral sex on her!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together on and off for the better part of 5 years. I recently finished school and he asked me to move in with him so I agreed. It has been 5 months and were both under the impression we were heading toward marriage. For ...
A. 24 November 2009: I'm a little lost in your logic. Why have you forgiven him but not her? Isn't he the one with a commitment to you? I understand not forgiving your friend, but why does your boyfriend get off the hook? He's the one in a relationship and he's the one ... (read in full...)
Why is my wife not as tight as she was?
Q. I went away for couple of weeks to work, and when i came back, my wife was sort of lose, and before i went out, she was nice and tight. When i asked her why she got loose, she jumped and and chaged the topic and she did not want to talk about it...
A. 23 November 2009: You have no evidence to accuse your wife of cheating.
A) This could all be in your mind. Women don't just loosen up, not unless they just gave birth to a child. Or, if they're around the end of their period. The vagina has amazing elastici... (read in full...)
She covers herself up during sex and I have no idea why!
Q. I am in a relationship with my partner for over 9 years now, everytime we are having sex she is always covering her breast and folding her hands round her chest with her eyes closed, never allow me to kiss her, I find it difficult to make her ...
A. 23 November 2009: Definitely sounds like she's got body issues - especially if you've had a son together, a lot of women are unhappy with their bodies afterwards and might feel like you don't find her as attractive.
Keep up with the compliments - you can never he... (read in full...)
He's getting me a promise ring for Christmas. What should I get him?
Q. What should I get him for Christmas? He's getting me a PROMISE RING. So, im 16 years old and my boyfriend is 17. We've had a great relationship, we've been together for basically 6 months, but we both know that if we met sooner, we would have be...
A. 19 November 2009: Sounds good to me! Very clever buying the stocking and filling it... I love it. He will too!
I just had a random thought - I love making really random gifts.
If you went to an arts and crafts store, you could find a oval ball that you can sti... (read in full...)
He's getting me a promise ring for Christmas. What should I get him?
Q. What should I get him for Christmas? He's getting me a PROMISE RING. So, im 16 years old and my boyfriend is 17. We've had a great relationship, we've been together for basically 6 months, but we both know that if we met sooner, we would have be...
A. 19 November 2009: Does he have a favorite sports team? I know if I got my husband tickets to a Lakers game, he'd go bananas. Or, you can go the more personal route - I loved Anonymous's idea of the wallet with the picture inside.
I wouldn't go with jewelry,... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to be unhappy with my girlfriend performing Burlesque shows?
Q. hi recenty my girlfriend started doing burlesque shows. i think it's just a way for her to get on stage and strip to her under wear and talk dirty with a room full of strangers. is it wrong that i don't like it, i haven't told her out right ca...
A. 18 November 2009: You know, I did this for a little while and it was a BLAST. It lets you embrace that sexual power, and learn how to use it. You feel like a fox and it's a major confidence booster. And no, you don't look at the crowd of guys like, "hmmm, which one ... (read in full...)
Is a Christmas gift a sign to a girl that things are starting to get more serious?
Q. I've been dating this girl for about three months now, and we haven't really had any sort of talk about the status of our relationship. I really like her, I'm pretty sure she likes me, and we have a lot of fun together, but I don't want things to ...
A. 18 November 2009: Personally, if you've been dating 3 months and you're sleeping together (or even if you weren't), a little gift would be nice for Christmas. But it really depends on what the gift is to say whether or not it reads "serious relationship" or not. ... (read in full...)
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