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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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How can I let her know she is an annoying friend without being harsh?
Q. I go to a big church, I'm single and don't have many friends. I met this girl who's 5 years younger like two years ago, but now we are getting to know each other better. Even though she is married with two little ones she feels kind of lonely too ...
A. 1 July 2010: I completely agree with CaringGuy. It sounds like she's just a little desperate to concrete this friendship. She's probably excited to have a new girlfriend, and she's coming on a little strong.
Do you have fun with her in between the annoying... (read in full...)
Why do I have these feelings for another man when I was so sure I loved my fiance?
Q. I have been with my fiance for two years, yes fiance, I was so sure I loved him more then anything and when Im with him hes all I care about, but when Im gone from him and one of my friends(male) comes around and drops hints he likes me...I feel the ...
A. 1 July 2010: It's perfectly normal to have a crush - hey, when you get married, you might have crushes. But, you need to make a decision and you need to make it now - before you're married and can't turn back.
If you love your fiancé, and even though he's glo... (read in full...)
Would I be able to get into an American college with my qualifications?
Q. hello everybody i turned 17 a few weeks ago and when i left school i made the mistake of not following on my education but i am interested in applying for some courses at my local college. I am after any course but i would preffer a one ye...
A. 1 July 2010: Definitely call up some colleges that you're interested in. You could also consider enrolling in a community college and get your basics over with. It's cheaper, you're getting the same quality of education and you can get into the swing of things ... (read in full...)
Who should buy the condoms?
Q. Hey, who do you think should supply a condom the boys or the girls? or should they take turns? Thanks....
A. 1 July 2010: It makes since that you take turns. You're both responsible for birth control and keeping yourself safe. The only reason I can see not to take turns is if you're on the pill (or the like) for pregnancy and you also need condoms for STI protection. ... (read in full...)
My friend slept with a guy I care about a lot -- do I drop the friendship?
Q. A while ago, my best friend of 12 years slept with my long term boyfriend. I broke up with him, but eventually forgave her. More recently, she slept with a different ex of mine, who she knew I still loved and cared deeply for. She said it was a ...
A. 1 July 2010: If I was drunk off my ass, I still wouldn't touch a friends boyfriend with a 39 and a half foot pole. And she's done this not once, but twice?!?
Well, since I don't know her, your boyfriend, your ex or you, I feel like this is really your call. Bu... (read in full...)
He cheated because he was drunk and I cant get over it!
Q. Okay, so me and my boyfriend have been going out for 9 months...we started going out sept.7, 2009 and its now June.30, 2010... Back in Feburary he decided to throw a small party when his mother was away and get drunk...( one girl and 4 guys) well ...
A. 1 July 2010: I'm sorry, maybe this is just me, but any guy who participates in taking turns having sex (taking advantage) of a drunk girl in a bad situation is NOT a guy you want to be with. That poor girl, and what a bunch of shitbag guys.
Your boyfrien... (read in full...)
How can I get my boyfriend to take pictures with me for facebook?
Q. Dear Cupid, I know this sounds sooo soo stupid and its a really stupid thing to ask. But I see some of my friends on facebook who have pics with their boyfriends really cute ones...Im just wondering how do I get pics with my boyfriend and how do ...
A. 30 June 2010: He won't think you're a weirdo!! Bust out your camera, go out for the day and click click click! Go fun places and take fun pictures, and I assure you that he won't think you're a weirdo!... (read in full...)
Ladies, what parts of a man are most attractive?
Q. Ladies, which body parts of a man do you find most attractive? Abs, legs, arms, eyes etc. ...
A. 30 June 2010: Teeth, shoulders, neck... mmm, fellas. ... (read in full...)
I am pregnant again.
Q. i have posted for help before about my twins i had at 14 http://www.dearcupid.org/question/struggling-to-cope-.html well me and my boyfriend have since got back together three weeks after i posted that question. I have the implant in, so i...
A. 29 June 2010: No, no, people - now she's 18 or 19 - according to the other question she posted. She WAS 14 when she had the twins, but it's been a few years since then.
I think you got great advice, sweetness, I just wanted to clarify for the other aunts an... (read in full...)
Could I have lost my virginity and gotten pregnant at the same time?
Q. okay so i am 17 and i lost my virginity thursday like 3 in the morning in the pool and it didnt hurt at all, but, it was only in me for like 3 minutes and when he pushed me away i looked down , and he had nutted. im sooo scared idk anything about ...
A. 29 June 2010: Oh my Gosh, my darling - why would you use a condom in a pool? Because you CAN get pregnant and because who KNOWS what kind of diseases he's carrying!?!?? A pool doesn't make you immune to ANYTHING. Chlorine kills nothing. You are still 100% at risk ... (read in full...)
How can I be his best friend?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 7 months now. Our relationship didn't start off very good-- he had a girlfriend at the time we got together, and it went against everything I thought that I stood for, because I strongly disagree with ...
A. 29 June 2010: Well, me and my fella have been together for 5 years and we always say that we're best friends who have sex. I think that comes from the happiness in just hanging out and being silly.
Can you two be doing nothing and still have fun? If you figh... (read in full...)
How do I recapture the lost feelings?
Q. I met the girl of my dreams. Coming up on over a year together, I am suddenly over her. No emotional feelings what so ever. I am not even remotely attracted to her... we are rarely intimate. I dont feel it. How do I ressurect the emoti...
A. 29 June 2010: Emotions can't be resurrected. You can't force yourself to feel something. You can do as much as you can to try to reignite the flame, but if it's not happening, it's not happening.
You can try to remember why you fell in love with her in the firs... (read in full...)
What do girls really look for in a man. (honest views only)
Q. Can I ask a question to the girls in this site and be completly honest. "What do you really lok for in a guy" I always see answers like good listener caring faithfull not cocky class good career prospects But never does "good looks" ev...
A. 28 June 2010: I'm a pretty foxy girl, if I do say so myself, and most of my boyfriends have not been "classically" good looking (hope none are reading this right now), but I found them sexy because they were talented, clever, sweet and funny. I'm very attracted ... (read in full...)
Does cheating count when your a kid still?
Q. So, I'm 16 and I've had a boyfriend for quite a while now. Things are good we care about each other and everything but here's the thing, I recently got a job about 3 months ago and since then I've made good friends with a boy who works there. We ...
A. 27 June 2010: If you have committed to this fella that you're with, and he thinks you're exclusive, then cheating is cheating. If you're just dating him, it's completely okay to date more than one guy - IF, everyone is aware that you are just dating. Not "going ... (read in full...)
Are teacher crushes of the same gender normal?
Q. I have this science teacher (female, age 50+ ?) that I really like. Like a lot! I can't wait until science class every day, and on the holidays I miss seeing her and feel pretty sad. When we have science I get really excited and when I get to talk ...
A. 27 June 2010: I don't think you need to do anything about it. Just continue being a good student, be friendly and yourself. Just carry on enjoying your classes with her - even tell her how much you enjoy learning from her.
Do you have romantic feelings... (read in full...)
Are teacher crushes of the same gender normal?
Q. I have this science teacher (female, age 50+ ?) that I really like. Like a lot! I can't wait until science class every day, and on the holidays I miss seeing her and feel pretty sad. When we have science I get really excited and when I get to talk ...
A. 26 June 2010: Totally normal!! You just really, really like this teacher and think she's super cool and wish you could be friends. You might really admire her as well. You are totally normal, sweet thing.... (read in full...)
Anyone have any good anniversary ideas? We're both broke.
Q. Hey there It's me and my boyfriends one year anniversary this week and we are going through a really rocky patch at the moment with us and I want to do something special together. I wanted it to be special anyway obviously but since we are goi...
A. 26 June 2010: Free, indoor activities... hmm...
You can play a game and somehow make it sexy. Me and my fella play cards and make bets - like, if I win, he has to strip to the music of my choice and give me a massage. That's always silly, sexy and totally ... (read in full...)
Raging hormones and fantasies about my teacher, is this normal?
Q. So, I'm 13 and I know its a young age and all but I feel very horny so often. Is that normal? My parents dont know but often at night I like to masturbate. I just feel great but is that right? I have no other way to get rid of it, it's too good. ...
A. 26 June 2010: You sound totally normal to me! Around 13 your hormones are kicking in and getting horny is totally normal. And, fantasizing about teachers is also normal - I know I had a bunch of teacher crushes when I was in school.
But, the thing with tea... (read in full...)
I've never followed 'the rules' of 'womanly' behaviour is this wrong?
Q. The rules book stated that a girl should be reserved, not too chatty, not trying at all to entertain actually but thats a personality trait of mine, i LOVE TO ENTERTAIN, i make ppl laugh, im extremely bubbly and sometimes too hyper. I enjoy being ...
A. 26 June 2010: There are probably so many guys reading your question and thinking "this is my dream girl". You sound like a super fun girlfriend! So what, you can crack jokes with the guys - that makes you who you are, and I'll bet a lot of guys will find that ... (read in full...)
Turban wearing man seeks honest opinions
Q. So I moved into the states when I was 10 and now that I am getting older (in my 20s) I am finding that finding love is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. My question is for all women. I am a turban wearing man with a trimmed beard. I...
A. 26 June 2010: Jump on the boat with all other minorities. There are people who won't date others because of the clothes they wear, the color of their skin or because they're pro-choice. Personally, I'd be very much open to dating a guy wearing a turban. I'm the ... (read in full...)
Did my family prefer me when I was mentally ill?
Q. am i right or am i crazy. Certain events took place where i did not live at my home. At my home lives my father my brother my wife and very young son. I was living at my mothers. During this time i started seeing a shrink to help me with my bipolar ...
A. 26 June 2010: I completely agree with the first poster. I think your family is still stuck in their old way of dealing with you. Be patient and keep with your changed attitude and positive, confident thinking. They'll catch up with you.
Why don't you ask your... (read in full...)
Could I have lost my virginity and gotten pregnant at the same time?
Q. okay so i am 17 and i lost my virginity thursday like 3 in the morning in the pool and it didnt hurt at all, but, it was only in me for like 3 minutes and when he pushed me away i looked down , and he had nutted. im sooo scared idk anything about ...
A. 25 June 2010: Yes you should worry about that. If he "nutted" inside of you, then it doesn't matter how hard he was, how long it lasted or where you were. You could be pregnant. Not to mention, very much at risk for STDs. There's nothing you can do about that ... (read in full...)
Do women worry about their parts the way men worry about theirs?
Q. I love the female form. There are so many variations of the female genitalia. What is the reason some women's labia majoria is hidden and others are larger and seem to hang out. Secondly, do women get hung up on there vaginas like men do with ...
A. 23 June 2010: I think that women do often get self-conscious about their vaginas! Whether it's looks, how it smells, how it tastes, I think a lot of women get concerned about that. But, I don't think that you can compare it to how men obsess with the size and ... (read in full...)
He threw out his ring so I threw out mine! What does it mean?
Q. My b/f and I were having an argument the other day on the highway coming home, at one point during the fight, he pulled off his ring and put it on the dash of the car. A few minutes later he pulled over, rolled down the window and threw the ring ...
A. 23 June 2010: I totally agree. You got into a fight and you did something drastic, dramatic and stupid. Hey, it happens. It wasn't violent, or vicious at least. And, at least a few minutes later the guilt and stupidity struck him and he pulled over to look. I ... (read in full...)
Is this depth of pain after a break up normal?
Q. Dear Cupid-- I've recently been broken up with. The world doesn't feel right anymore. I can feel my heart swelling in my chest and find myself physically ill. Driving home was almost impossible. I had to pull over to the side of the road to sob ...
A. 23 June 2010: For real, you need a girlfriend! A sister! A Mom! A cousin!
It's completely normal to feel totally broken down and devastated. I think we've all experienced that before. But, it's super hard to go through it alone (let alone, drive a car! Dri... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend not want me as much as I want him?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 8 months now, and our sex life has decreased quite a bit. For the first two months, we were having sex at the least once a day. Ever since 2010 started, our sex life has taken a major decline. Now, we ...
A. 23 June 2010: From experience with me and my fella, I can tell you that debt can weigh really heavily on a guy (and you), and can be a major mood killer. Plus, if that in turn affects you and makes you upset because of sex deprivation, that's even more stress! I ... (read in full...)
He puts me down but says he loves me!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for little over 5 yrs. We have a baby it was perfect when we first started we've been on and off. We now have a baby he treats me really bad at times and puts me down yet says he loves me sooo much that I have to ...
A. 23 June 2010: He says you "have to understand him" because he's got "anger issues"???!? Sweetness, he is just saying this as an excuse for his behavior. He is making you feel guilty about not liking the way he treats you. This, my dear, is crap. There is NO ... (read in full...)
Tips on kissing and whether we should try when my dad is nearby..
Q. MOD NOTE: Two questions combined Ok im going my first movie with my boyfrriend and my dad will be there and we want to makeout should we risk it? Also I dont know how to makeout and me and my bf want to makeout at the movies! how do i do it?????....
A. 23 June 2010: I definitely wouldn't make out with you Dad around. The pressure of trying to hide it is no fun, and especially no fun if you're inexperienced!! Not to mention, if your Dad finds you sneaking around to make out, he may lose trust in you and your ... (read in full...)
Will he ask me to marry him one day?
Q. I Have been with my boyfriend for a year and half. We are expecting our first baby together and looking for somewhere to live. we are excited and very happy. he was slightly drunk the other night and he said to me he is thinking about marrying m...
A. 21 June 2010: Absolutely he's thinking about it! But, don't get too excited and start hounding him on when. Sounds like it'll happen in his own time. Next time he brings it up, give him a smile and some sort of indication that you'd like to marry him too - maybe ... (read in full...)
Should I go out with him again if he asks?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me last night on facebook and he wrote the following message to me: Um (my name)??? i have a problem real badly um three days ago I asked out(girls name)and she just now said yes Note: This was DURING our relationship...
A. 21 June 2010: Ew, ew, ew!!! Don't give this guy the time of day, what a scumbag!! You deserve way better than this. Kick him to the curb with the rest of the trash, any guy who goes around asking out chicks while supposedly "committed" to you is not even close to ... (read in full...)
Dreading my doctors appointment...
Q. well, I'm on a birth control pill to regulate my period, apparently my prescription expired which means I'll have to go in for a physical. And I'm dreading the appointment where they have to check you down there. I'm so uncomfortable with people ...
A. 21 June 2010: I think that everybody gets uncomfortable with doctors poking and prodding and looking around down there. But, the reality is that these doctors do nothing all day but look at vaginas. Unless yours is plaid with a propeller sticking out of it, it's ... (read in full...)
My parents have caught on that I'm having sex and it is making me paranoid..!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been dating 9 months and were in a good relationship. My parents are like catching onto sex and don't want me doing stufff and I told them I dnt do it but I do. And I know I don't wamt to stop. But anyway I feel so ...
A. 21 June 2010: Which one of your parents is easier to talk to? Pick one, go out to dinner or something and have a little chat with them. If it's easier for you, make up a code word for sex to make the conversation a little bit less awkward. Something like, "me and ... (read in full...)
I'm 18 and have never had a girlfriend!
Q. Hi everyone, so I have a serious question about my personal life. Idk, but I find it really hard to find a girlfriend. I am a really good looking guy, and I realized that I am 18, and never had a girlfriend. Problem is, I dont even have any girls ...
A. 21 June 2010: I doubt you're not getting women because you're foreign. Maybe you're not sending them the right signals, or maybe you're not being gutsy enough and going up and talking to them. Are you approaching women and striking up conversations, or are you ... (read in full...)
Farewell from an aunt
Q. After being an aunt on this wonderful site for well over 5 years, I've decided to finally see the writing on the wall and call it quits. I truly gave it my best shot and spoke the truth as I know it to be. I will always treasure my time here and the ...
A. 21 June 2010: I'll miss you, Eyes. You always were a favorite. Keep advising and helping people beyond this website - your insight and wisdom is a gift for all avenues. Good luck!! ... (read in full...)
He likes my hugs but how do I get him to ask me out??
Q. okay there's a guy at church he's really cute I think he likes miibut I'm not sure. I give him a hug and he likes mii to cuz I asked him if it was ok if I was giving him all these hug and he said it's ok wit him. I just want him to ask mii out on a ...
A. 21 June 2010: Keep sending signals, and be patient and in time you will know if he likes you or not. Maybe, if you really want to be forward, you could just ask him if he'd like to hang out sometime!! There's nothing wrong with being a little gutsy! It'll keep ... (read in full...)
Snap at my friend because I'm jealous
Q. I keep snapping at my friend every time he mentions his girlfriend to me. I have feelings for him, so obviously my reason for snapping is because I am a bit jealous. But when I snap at him, I sometimes really hurt him or make him mad. I need to ...
A. 20 June 2010: I agree, I think you need to tell him or start actively thinking while talking and make sure you don't snap. If you don't snap, though, I guess that instead you'll withdraw - so either tell him or give him some space so you can start to get over ... (read in full...)
I have an oral sex fetish which I find unnerving and am morally against..
Q. I'm bi, and in the last few years I've realized that I have a fondness for women who are submissive in giving their male partners oral sex. Male submission doesn't do it for me, and neither does lesbian submission. It's only when the woman is doing ...
A. 20 June 2010: I think everyone who has given you advice is right on. A fantasy is a fantasy, you're perfectly normal, and it's pretty understandable that you wouldn't want to get involved with any skeevy or questionable characters to indulge in your fantasy.
... (read in full...)
He's house hunting with his friend instead of me.
Q. Hi my husband works 10hrs a day so we see each other for 1hr a day cause he has to sleep anyway he has a friend and where looking for an apt 1br but he has make plan behind my back and they pick a time and look at the place even though I for gave ...
A. 17 May 2010: Well, that just doesn't seem fair. Seems to me, if you really don't have time to look together, then he should be looking (with his friend, whatever) and then you should go separately and check the place out yourself. Then, when you get together, ... (read in full...)
Would it be weird for a 17 year old male to date a 15 year old girl?
Q. I am a seventeen year old boy and I have a huge crush on a girl who just turned fifteen. She's very mature but would it be weird for me to date a girl two and half years younger than me?...
A. 17 May 2010: Well, it's not that weird. I've seen weirder. As long as you're not intending to have sex with this girl - for that, you have to wait until she's your age. But, other than that, if you both like each other, it seems okay to me. I dated guys a bit ... (read in full...)
Bullied for writing poetry
Q. ok well i wright poems, and i am a boy i have been bullied for this befor and am relly ashamed of the fact thta i wright poems about a girl i am mad for. i was bullied by two people who found out, but the seemed to stop. but now i have no ...
A. 17 May 2010: Hey, I'm sure some people thought that Emily Dickinson, Maya Angelou, Walt Whitman and Shakespeare weren't that great. I'll bet they got bullied too. But, don't let bullies stop you from expressing yourself! Poetry is a great outlet for that. I ... (read in full...)
He has no passion for anything
Q. My husband is emotionally unavailabe. He is passive agressive but not in a hurtful way. He never tells me "No you cant go here or do that" but when I go ahead and do things, he literally lays on the couch the whole time I'm gone and feels sorry for ...
A. 17 May 2010: I think you got great advice (except for the first poster, I didn't really understand how all of this makes your husband great.), but I'd like to suggest perhaps couples counseling? Because really, this is your problem too - you have to deal with ... (read in full...)
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