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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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He has no passion for anything
Q. My husband is emotionally unavailabe. He is passive agressive but not in a hurtful way. He never tells me "No you cant go here or do that" but when I go ahead and do things, he literally lays on the couch the whole time I'm gone and feels sorry for ...
A. 17 May 2010: I think you got great advice (except for the first poster, I didn't really understand how all of this makes your husband great.), but I'd like to suggest perhaps couples counseling? Because really, this is your problem too - you have to deal with ... (read in full...)
Pushes me away, then comes running back. The cycle repeats
Q. I've been with this guy for almost a year now. We are not officialy going out, but we do pretty much what every bf/gf does. I love him, and i'm pretty sure he loves me too. But the issue is, he is a very insecure person. He has never admited to...
A. 17 May 2010: Man, these games have to be exhausting! You must be really tired - physically and emotionally. This relationship seems like too much to be in. If a guy loves you, or even likes you, he should not be putting you through all of this. A good ... (read in full...)
Scared of making the same mistake as my Mum
Q. Hey im 16, ive been with my boyfriend nearlly five months, it hasnt really been that long i think. but last nighht he was drunk and told me that he loved me more than anyone else and that he wanted to be with me always. this scares me cause im not ...
A. 17 May 2010: Hey, just because someone tells you that they are in love with you doesn't mean you have to commit with to being with them forever. Don't feel guilty for not feeling as strong, feel guilty for being in a relationship that you're not entirely ... (read in full...)
Does my fiance have something to hide?
Q. My fiance and I bought a house in July. Turns out, a woman he knew in high school (also friends with her family) lives 1 mile up the road. He hadn't seen her since high school, but when she found out where he lives, she stops to see him. She has ...
A. 15 May 2010: Maybe there's something going on, but I'm guessing there's not. What I am suspecting is that maybe he's excited about seeing an ex-girlfriend and reconnecting and maybe he's got a tiny crush or is enjoying the rush of feelings that he hasn't ... (read in full...)
Questions about a visit to the gyno
Q. Okay so, i'm kind of freaking out and I have a couple questions. Back in December, my mother caught me and my boyfriend of a year, having sex. She blew up and went crazy and was not very happy about it at all. Well, I told her I wouldn't be doin...
A. 13 May 2010: 1) Not really. They can be uncomfortable, but they don't HURT. If it does hurt, tell your gyno and they'll adjust what they're doing.
2) What you tell your Doctor should be absolutely confidential. You can make sure, and say - "hey, this is all c... (read in full...)
He's been a good friend and I'm grateful for his help; should I go to the prom with him?
Q. So I was asked to prom today by a guy who I consider a good friend for a couple of years and I hang out with him a lot in school. All year he has helped me in a class I have been struggling in. I could tell he has been building up to asking me to ...
A. 13 May 2010: Here's my question: are you hoping to go to the prom with somebody else? If there's no one else you're hoping to go with, I say sure. Go to the prom with him. Maybe you'll end up having a really great time!
Don't let your self-esteem get in the w... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend hold my arm in public?
Q. Why does my boyfriend hold my arm instead of holding my hand in public? I've been told that he's trying to "guide me", that he's being protective and guarding me. I'm still curious as to what this may mean when he does this. Thanks....
A. 12 May 2010: Well, it all depends. Does it FEEL like he's dragging you around and using his positioning to lead you? Or, does he seem to be doing it affectionately - as if he's holding your hand, but just holding your arm? This could be a possessive move, or ... (read in full...)
Left my pregnant, controlling wife and feel guilt! Should I just suck it up and go back for the kids?
Q. I have been married for 3 years(but been with for 7 years total) now to a woman who has 3 kids from 2 previous relationships who I get on really well with and have taken over much of the father responsibilties seeing as the other 'dads' don't want ...
A. 10 May 2010: Have you tried seeking third-party help for your marriage? It does seem like it's worth the effort to go to marriage counseling and see if you can make this marriage work. After all, she is pregnant with your child and you're going to have to have a ... (read in full...)
I don't want my best friends to fight over me! Advice?
Q. My two friends are boys and they both fancy me. and I don't know what to do because I don't want them to fight. please help me....
A. 10 May 2010: Well, you just need to either choose or tell them that you're not interested and to knock it off. If you don't want there to be a fight, you need to make things really clear. A fight would most likely only start because of confusion over who likes ... (read in full...)
Disgusted and hurt but ultimately confused
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 months and while we've had our ups and downs, he never gave me a reason to not trust him.. However, I found something suspicious on his facebook chat and my paranoia got the better half of me and I ende...
A. 9 May 2010: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-husband-has-an-addiction-to-men-and.html
This is (well, could be - no two people are the same) your future. Trust me, chiquita, this doesn't just vanish overnight. But, he is probably just curious and really i... (read in full...)
What can I write in my boyfriend's sister's card for her 5th birthday?
Q. Hey, I have bought my boyfriends sister a birthday card for her 5th birthdaii and i'm not sure what to write in it. Obviously her parents are going to see it so it needs to sound nice, friendly and wishfull.. Any ideas on what to write? ...
A. 8 May 2010: Dear Sidonie,
Happy birthday to the coolest 5 year old I know! I hope this birthday is extra special for you.
Have fun today, sweetheart!
Love,
You
Five year olds are pretty easy to impress, and I'm sure that her family will appreciate ... (read in full...)
Five years, a baby on the way, and he still wont marry me.
Q. Hello everyone. I am in a very tough situation. I love my boyfriend with all my heart. We are both 19 and have been together since we were 15 (almost 5 years). We recently went away to seperate colleges, he has a full ride football scholarship, but ...
A. 7 May 2010: I don't think it's a good idea to force marriage because you have a baby. Putting that sort of pressure on your relationship will ultimately deteriorate it. I think your family is incorrect - either getting married or getting out of your life is NOT ... (read in full...)
Do I tell his fiance what we did?
Q. A week ago, I went for a walk with an engaged guy, and somehow we ended up kissing and feeling each other up. The day after, we met up and things went further (but we didn't sleep together or anything.) The thing is, I am 15 and have never had much ...
A. 6 May 2010: If you were older, I'd probably suggest not saying anything. But, you are fifteen, and you seem to be pretty smart. You know that he's behaving like a perv, and if he's willing to get frisky with a teenager, that's a pretty big red flag. I would ... (read in full...)
Liking my teacher has turned into an unhealty obsession
Q. Okay, so I have a serious problem. I am seriously in love with one of my teachers and it has all gotten so out of hand. I am 16 and he is 35 - I know it's a huge age range but I am really in love with him. It's not just a crush, it's real love. I ...
A. 5 May 2010: Relax! A crush is a crush, and even if it seems like there's no possible way that it'll ever fade, rest assured that IT WILL. Especially that he's switching schools, unless you force yourself to continue reacting and feeling that pain, the hurt will ... (read in full...)
I can't look at him when I'm talking to him
Q. Well.... I have this problem through. Well its better to tell the story first. Okay anyway it been like this for days and well months. There is this boy I liked, he is also my friend. We talked happly about a month until some hormonal emotio...
A. 5 May 2010: Just try to glance up at him, to let him know that you're engaged and into him. Make effort to look into his face, but there's no need to stare him down. Just try your hardest to look up at him and give him some face time!! You'll get used to it and ... (read in full...)
I have an unusual eating disorder
Q. Hi im 17 years old and for as long as i can remember ive had a problem with eating. Its not a common disorder so many people critisize me. Since a yound age i have only been able to eat the same food (basics such as potatoes.. noodles.. chicken) no ...
A. 4 May 2010: I think you should go back to your psychiatrist or find a therapist who you can talk to. Bring your Dad along after you feel comfortable. Maybe he needs to hear it from a third party that this is a very real problem for you, not just a picky ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to feel this happy?
Q. I'm 19 and I just had a general question. I have been good friends with my now current boyfriend for a few years. We have been dating for almost a month. I have never smiled so much in life, I feel like I'm glowing from the inside out and whenever I ...
A. 3 May 2010: Yes it's normal. Savor it!! Every second.... (read in full...)
Confused and hurt - why is he so different?
Q. Hey all. I have his boyfriend with whom I've been dating for 6 weeks, and have been exclusive with for 2. However, ever since we've been exclusive, he's been stressed out with school (it's his Senior year of college, I'm a Freshman), which I ...
A. 3 May 2010: So, he doesn't want to go out with you, won't see you until after midnight - not even for an hour quickie. He tells you he doesn't "give a fuck" about anything remotely important to you. He barely talks to you and when he does, reminds you that he ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be intimate with my partner, constantly thinking about someone else?
Q. Please help, i met my partner 3 years ago we worked together and after 7 months of seeing each other we had bought a house and moved in together then two months after that I became pregnant. Our little boy is just amazing and the best thing that ...
A. 3 May 2010: You're not attracted to him and you're prone to nasty arguments. This house sounds exhausting! You're probably getting drained, and your child is too. I think you need to take a break and take a good, long look at your life, your partners and your ... (read in full...)
I'm stuck in the same cycle with my boyfriend and I don't know what to do anymore
Q. ok so ive been with my bf on and off for four years and i left him before because he got so wrapped up in drugs he seemed to forget about me completely, we had a few breakups last year and just recently got back together and i thought it was for ...
A. 3 May 2010: I agree whole-heartedly with CaringGuy. You can't save him, you can't force him to get better and he'll never give you 100% of himself as long as he's got drugs in his life. If breaking up repeatedly hasn't worked, nothing will. You need to make a ... (read in full...)
Concerned about future career prospects in the film industry.
Q. I really wanna major in film studies in college, but I keep reading online that it leads to unemployment and you can't get good jobs with it..is that true? If so, what should I major in to get into the film industry or get a job with a company that ...
A. 2 May 2010: I'm a theater major and know damn well that I'm getting myself into a totally challenging industry to wedge your way into. That's why I'm thinking ahead. So, I'm a double major (also Psychology) and am getting prepared to go to graduate school to ... (read in full...)
I love him but am unsure if he's right for me anymore
Q. Hey everyone. Lately I have been very confused about my relationship with my boyfriend. I love him very much and we have a beautiful history. Before I would never think of anyone or anything else but him. If we were apart I would miss him dearly and ...
A. 2 May 2010: Hey, you're older and wiser. And, enjoying your youth by doing things you ought to be doing hanging out with your friends, flirting with fellas... you ought to have this whole experience. No shame in enjoying the single life. Particularly because ... (read in full...)
How do I get an introverted girlfriend to open up?
Q. My girlfriend is 18 and im 19 and she is very introverted and never really talks about her problems to me or anyone for that matter. I wish she would open up to me more so I can help her out because she is going through alot right now. She also ...
A. 29 April 2010: Yeah, this is still a new relationship. With introverts, it can take a long time to truly feel completely comfortable. It's not you - it's just how she is with people. She must care about you an awful lot to say she's starting to love you. Don't put ... (read in full...)
He told me that I'm his world.
Q. This threw me off a bit last night. We were saying our goodbyes and after our goodnight kiss he told me that im his world. i know this should make me all giddy inside but honestly idk how to feel about it. what do guys means when they say this?...
A. 28 April 2010: Well, it means good things! I suppose, unless he's unstable and obsessive, in which case it could mean he's on the verge of stalking you. But, I'm assuming he's mentally healthy and that he just likes you a lot! He thinks about you all the time and ... (read in full...)
I love her but she doesn't want me to join the military
Q. I'm sooo confused about this this girl I know doesn't want me to join the marine corps and basicly I love her a lot idk what she thinks of me but everytime I ask her what would she think if I join the military she always said nooooo don't joi...
A. 28 April 2010: I'm another Marine wife who is a avid pacifist (and also, married to one), who was definitely not keen on the whole military idea. I'm still not. And it is just as difficult as I suspected it would be. I can understand your girlfriend who is afraid ... (read in full...)
How do I get an introverted girlfriend to open up?
Q. My girlfriend is 18 and im 19 and she is very introverted and never really talks about her problems to me or anyone for that matter. I wish she would open up to me more so I can help her out because she is going through alot right now. She also ...
A. 28 April 2010: How long have you been together? I would simply give this one more time. Maybe she just needs more time than the average person to warm up and get comfortable. So, the less pressure you put on her, the better. I know introverts, and they work by ... (read in full...)
I have a boyfriend but I like another boy more now..
Q. I have a boyfriend, he is really shy and stuff, but the other day i found that i like this other boy a little more than i like him, and he said that he likes me. i know what you are thinking, she is just a silly little girl that should get to know ...
A. 27 April 2010: You're young! This is the time to date around and discover what you really want in a relationship. Don't stay with your boyfriend because you feel bad. If you like someone else more, then you should be with the guy you like more. Otherwise you'll be ... (read in full...)
He said I barely talk and thats why he ended things
Q. dear cupid,there is a guy i liked and he asked me out i said yes we broke up after 6 days.the reson why is he said we bearly talked and he is about to ask me out again what should i say?...
A. 26 April 2010: Are you really 26-29? I'm not trying to be a jerk, but this sounds like a much "younger" problem, one that I would have faced in middle school/high school.
So, I agree with "It's all be okay", at least if you're as old as you say you are, If ... (read in full...)
I woke up and found she'd left me taking the 2 kids with her...
Q. I really dont know what to do any more, and I need help. I have 1 son with my partner and I have brought up her other son from birth as my own, cos at one point we split up and slept with someone and got pregnant but since then we sorted things out ...
A. 26 April 2010: Before you go begging for her back, find a therapist who you like and go to a session or two. Show her that you have the drive to change and that you're going to ACTUALLY do something about it. She may be sick of empty promises and your dual ... (read in full...)
We texed one another for over 5 hours! Does this mean he likes me?
Q. Dear Cupid, I like this guy and I told him but he said that he already talks to someone. I told him that I liked him over a text message and since then we've been texting. Does that mean that he likes me? We've once texed for over five hours, I n...
A. 26 April 2010: By "he already talks to someone" do you mean he's got someone else who he's seeing? Because it does sound like he likes you, but be wary... you don't want him stringing you along and having two women!! So just be cautious and make sure that you ... (read in full...)
Is it okay to show off my new body?
Q. I am a girl that was 25 pounds overweight. I have been working out and have lost the weight and am in the best shape of my life. Summer is coming and I have purchased some skimpy clothes, such as short shorts, micro miniskirts, tubetops, and some ...
A. 22 April 2010: It's okay to show off a little, but I really hope that you're not wearing the micromini with the tube top! You need to choose a part of your body to showcase (say, your legs), and be more modest with the rest of you. If you are showing off more than ... (read in full...)
Army boyfriend and engagement !!!
Q. Hey my boyfriend is in the army and is away alot. We have been together a yr and a half now and its been hard him nt bein around, but since he went away before for 3months and came bac and is away alot and i only see him every other weekend we ...
A. 22 April 2010: I'm married to a Marine right now, and we've been together for 4 and a half years. Even after all that time, two and a half years living together and all the time to build a relationship, being with a military man is still ridiculously hard. The ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend forgot my name at an important event
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years. His best friend from childhood was having a birthday party. I haven't met his best friend prior to the party. My boyfriend told me it was a big deal to meet his best friend. It was ...
A. 21 April 2010: You get the opportunity to show how cool you are. If you let this go, and accept that it was a silly mistake, you'll show what a great girlfriend you are. Don't fret about little things not worth fretting about. Pick your battles, sweetness!! ... (read in full...)
Who here keeps in contact with their exes and if so why?
Q. Who here keeps in contact with their exes and if so why? I personally don't and neither does my bf, but the situations are different. I simply drifted apart from my ex whilst he makes a point of not contacting her. He threw away al their picture...
A. 20 April 2010: I'm quite close with all of my exes. Two were some of my husband's groomsmen (and he didn't know them until he got to know me), and the rest are all good friends - and of course, came to the wedding. It helps that I didn't sleep with any of them, ... (read in full...)
Bestfriends with benefits?
Q. Ok, so I'm in a very confusing situation with my bestfriend. We have been really good friends for about three years. In the beginning of our friendship he liked me and I liked him but he had a girlfriend and we didn't tell eachother about our ...
A. 19 April 2010: Yes, yes, yes. If you have sex with a guy who is just your friend, it will ruin the friendship. If you want to have sex with him and you like him, you should take your relationship to the next level and try dating. Honey, you'll be devastated if you ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend watches cartoon porn, is this normal?
Q. Ok I'm in a weird situation. Both me and my girlfriend are 14 and we both love eachother. We've been going at it for nearly 6 months now. 2 weeks ago she admits to me that she looks at porn. This itself seemed very odd since I don't often hear...
A. 19 April 2010: It sounds to me like curiosity. Just like, "SIMPSONS PORN, really?!?" - yeah, I'd ever have to watch. Just because that's crazy! And don't be quick to label her as an addict. She might have a perfectly healthy relationship with porn. Girls watch it ... (read in full...)
Would he approve of my dress sense?
Q. I'm in a relationship w/ my bf for a year now. Do you think it's okay for a girl to wear whatever she wants to in a relationship? I know the basics that a girl shouldn't dress all slutty without the bf around, or even at all; BUT I feel like I can't ...
A. 19 April 2010: Sounds completely okay to me. You should be able to wear what you want to wear, nobody can control what you choose to put on your body!! Just choose respectfully, as CaringGuy says.... (read in full...)
Does the spelling change the meaning behind the words?
Q. Does love and luv have the same meaning? When a guy tells you he loves u is it more stronger than when he says i luv u? Or are they the same? It sounds the same but when you text it differently are the feelings behind it not as strong?...
A. 18 April 2010: Well, to the average woman, I would think that "love" means more than "luv". I mean hey, putting the extra effort into spelling something right and making it a REAL WORD, that counts for something.
But to a guy, it may just be the exact same thi... (read in full...)
Setting limits on behaviour in a committed relationship
Q. I've been discussing an issue with my mate about setting boundaries to behaviour when out clubbing. He believes it's perfectly fine to let your girlfriend dance with other guys. I'm a bit more traditional in my thinking and worry about it sending...
A. 18 April 2010: I think you said it best - you're more traditional in her thinking, and she's a wild one who enjoys watching you get pleasure from other women. Maybe the jealousy morphs into sexiness for her. Some people enjoy sharing their significant other.
... (read in full...)
Is this true about the black rose?
Q. I was told along time ago that there were a group of people like a club or a gang, that would sleep with you then send you a black rose or some flower that would say some thing like you have aids now welcome to the club is this true? and if it is ...
A. 18 April 2010: Well that is just HORRIBLE. I hope that there's no club like that - though, I've heard of the case that RCN mentioned. There are some people so embittered by their own situation, that they wish to spread the curse to others. So while I hope to God ... (read in full...)
Why did my shy crush say eww about me and the laugh?
Q. She was in their computer room talking to her mom, who was standing at the doorway. Then my friend and I began to walk by, him in front of me. When I reached the doorway of the computer room, I could see her staring at me like she normally does. ...
A. 18 April 2010: Well, if she's around her Mom then who knows what she could have been referring to? Mom's extract "eww"s on a regular basis. Since you couldn't really see what went on behind your back, I would settle for all of the other evidence pointing towards ... (read in full...)
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