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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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I haven't dated in a few years because of my anxiety. What can I do to get back into the game?
Q. Hello dear Uncles and Aunts. I have many questions for you, but I do apologize for the book I am about to write you. ;-)I'm a twenty year old college student wondering, "WTF is happening to me?!" Once upon a time, in the glorious land of high sch...
A. 4 October 2010: Hooray!!! Congratulations! ... (read in full...)
Is our relationship ok?
Q. Hey I really need answer for this. I am 17 yr old boy and my girlfriend is 14-15 yrs old. Is this relationship fine? Will she like to have a french kiss with me? (She told me that she has dedicated her soul to me and she had already given a kiss to ...
A. 22 September 2010: Sounds okay, as long as you don't have sex for a couple more years! She will probably want to kiss you. :o) Let it happen when it feels right and don't push her farther than she wants to go.
"Dedicated her soul"... tell her that the reason y... (read in full...)
Can a guy get morning sickness on behalf of his pregnant girlfriend?
Q. dear dearest friends and family please help me with the needed advise that i seek, i am 4 days ago me and my girlfriend had an unproted sex but just right befor the moment i pull out, i am sure of didnt ejeculate in her but i think my semen might ...
A. 22 September 2010: It sounds like you are sick to your stomach with worry. You are probably creating all of this in your head, but to answer your question - you can not get morning sickness on behalf of your girlfriend. You're sick all on your own. And as for your ... (read in full...)
I could use some gift buying advice!
Q. Me(16) and my boyfriend(17 almost 18) have been on and off for 4 years now. Now that we're older we have been together for 11 months straight! :) He always gets me the best presents, but i have no idea what to get him for his 18th birthday! He is ...
A. 22 September 2010: My Mom always reminds me that the best gift is an EXPERIENCE. My favorite gift was this one year, my fella bought me a little disposable camera. And my gift was spending the whole day doing all these really cool things (went to an outdoor play, the ... (read in full...)
Reconsidering getting married...
Q. Hey guys! Im about to be married in less than a month but having doubts... I love my fiance and his family with all my heart but there is only one thing holding me back...he's really bad about feeding into the attention other women give him. At the ...
A. 22 September 2010: Things will only get worse with marriage. Marriage doesn't fix problems, it seems to magnify them. You need to stop, get away for a couple of hours and think. Don't worry about what people will say or think, and don't worry about others opinions. ... (read in full...)
Why did it hurt her self-esteem when I was not able to 'get off'? Is she just being silly or is this a deeper issue?
Q. Why do girls feel insecure or why does it lower their self esteem when they can't get men off. Recently the last couple times I was sleeping with my gf I was not able to get off. This is because we came back late and I had a several alcoholic ...
A. 22 September 2010: Well, it's hard to be logical during these things. Most women want to be so hot and sexy that nothing - not booze, the pope walking in, the Apocalypse - will stop you from cumming. And logically, we know that the nature of the universe will not have ... (read in full...)
I'm jealous of my new flatmate!
Q. I'm jealous of my new flatmate at university. We've been at university since saturday and already he has a girlfriend. He's so far spent all of this week doing nothing but drinking, going out and having sex. Meanwhile, nothing has really happened ...
A. 22 September 2010: Here's my question - it seems like you're trying to get a girlfriend by drinking a ton and going out. Now I'm not saying that can't be all well and good in university, but it's a pretty crappy way to try and find a girlfriend. She won't even ... (read in full...)
Not sure how guy I'm dating is going to feel about my daughter
Q. Ive been talking too this guy for about 2 years and we have been dating and seeing each other regularly for about 8 months. I have a 2 year old daughter, who he has never meet and really wants too but im scared as im not sure kids is what he really ...
A. 22 September 2010: I would also suggest, if you do have them meet, have it be in a neutral space. Go to the park or the zoo or something, so that the meeting can be casual and your daughter will be busy having a fun time rather than stuck at home meeting a stranger. I ... (read in full...)
I know he is cheating on me with another girl but I cant let go of him, especially after we lost our baby....
Q. Hi im a 24 year old girl i met this guy in varsity, we were friends for a year and on our second year we started to have sex until i bcame pregnant. he told me he wanted nothing to do with the pregnancy but the child did not survive. he came back we ...
A. 22 September 2010: Let him go and be firm. He is clearly not committed to this relationship. He keeps cheating on you and the second you got pregnant and really needed his support, he ditched you until he found out that you miscarried.
He does not sound like a v... (read in full...)
My ex has taken away my self esteem and I feel disgusted with myself
Q. This may be a bit long.I have been in a relationship with a guy for 3 years.We actually started by having a fun physical relationship while he was dating another chick (she obviously didn't know and she was the types that would only sleep with him ...
A. 22 September 2010: Well sister, it is hard to feel bad for you... but I do. You should never have betrayed your friend and been the "other woman". He should have never lied to his girlfriend and cheated. And you shouldn't have gotten your feelings wrapped up in this ... (read in full...)
Is it all women, or just my wife that have boring sexual fantasies?
Q. So, my wife really gets off on hearing about my sexual fantasies. She often asks me to tell her, " what were you thinking about last time you masturbated.". Then I will tell her, WHATEVER it was, be it having sex with our next door neighbor, the ...
A. 21 September 2010: To each woman her own. It's certainly not true of all women, just like men all have different fantasies. Everyone has their own private little world inside of their mind's eye, and everyones little world looks different. If George, Brad and Johnny ... (read in full...)
What gift can I send to my boyfriend in hospital?
Q. Hello Guys, My bf will have a surgery in 2 days.. I was planning to send him flowers to the hospital. Do you think is it good idea sending a guy to flowers to the hospital? or what kind of gift I should send to him considering he will have bypass g...
A. 21 September 2010: My fella always says, "why doesn't anybody give guys flowers? They're a nice gesture, they smell nice, they're good to look at...". So why not? If that's the way you'd like to brighten up his room, I think that's a great idea. Other good ideas might ... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to go back out with your ex?
Q. ok, i am a 14 year old male and in year 10, i was never really too interested in girls .. until i got into high school, when i had a transfer day to high school (a day just to see what i was like) i 'loved' this girl, and i knew she 'loved' me .. i ...
A. 21 September 2010: Going out with your ex girlfriend is only a bad idea if you guys broke up for a significant reason. Like, if she cheated on you, or treated you badly. But, if you guys just were having problems with being so far away from each other, and now that ... (read in full...)
Drama queen!!!
Q. I am a drama queen, cant stay without a fight for three days what can i do to be normal, its really affecting my marriage. I fight over everything and am sooo insecure, i feel all men are no good because of my broken family experience, my dad was a ...
A. 20 September 2010: Hi sweet thing,
Well you've already done the hardest part. Most drama queens have no idea that they have a problem and spend their lives oblivious, driving people crazy. So knowing that you've got a problem with starting fights, insecuri... (read in full...)
My boyfriend told me his ex is better in bed. Should I leave him?
Q. I have been dating this great wonderful guy for close to 8 months now. I'm attractive, intelligent and well liked. I have never been single or had problems getting dates. I am far from promiscous as my total number of guys I have slept with is 4 (I ...
A. 18 September 2010: It seems to me that there will almost always be some blazingly sex-crazed wild woman who was better than you in the sack. Most guys just have a little bit of common sense and know NEVER to mention that girl and ALWAYS say that their current ... (read in full...)
She insists on the same routine, even though it doesn't satisfy her
Q. When my wife and I have sex I try to give a lot of foreplay but she always stops me and rolls me on top of her(missionary position)and then takes over and does not let me move much. She rubs that sensitive area on me and I cum within a minute or 2 ...
A. 18 September 2010: I admit that I've known this rut in the past. Sometimes it's a lot easier not to even bother with getting pleasure for yourself, because it's too much effort, maybe it's hard for her to orgasm, maybe she's got "lady issues", maybe she's just feeling ... (read in full...)
Too many problems with my boyfriend and my mom wants me to move on!
Q. Please forgive me for the length of my story. Hello DC. I am in need of some help. I normally can fight all this off but I'm to the point that it's eating me alive. I have an amazing(or I thought) boyfriend. We have been together for 3 1...
A. 18 September 2010: Why oh why oh WHY are you still with this man?
You can not "save" this man. He is not going to magically turn around and become the supportive, active, respectful partner you want him to be. You didn't mention how old he is - maybe he just nee... (read in full...)
I'm a natural flirt and it causes problems for the man I like!
Q. I'm a flirt. A natural flirt. Once I realised I was attractive to men, it became my way of relating to men. Trouble is, I am deeply in love with someone who reacts badly to other men paying me attention, and my knee-jerk response of flirting back. I ...
A. 17 September 2010: Listen, a little flirting is okay. You know, giggling at that joke that the electrician made and then going back to your business. But what you're not making clear here is just how far your flirting goes, and just how upset your boyfriend is ... (read in full...)
I can't find the strength to tell the truth!
Q. I need some help in this. i can't find the strenght to tell the truth about something. how can i do it? please help!...
A. 17 September 2010: Well, first you might want to confess to a public, anonymous forum like Dear Cupid. Test it out. Try it on for size. And get constructive feedback!! Practicing is always a good thing, it'll get you ready to hear the truth come out of your mouth.
... (read in full...)
Why do girls only see me as a friend? should I change my game plan?
Q. why do most girls i like and ask out, say they only see me as a friend? im 18 and a really funny guy and everyone loves me!!i think.. because everytime i goto a party or foot ball game or something everyones like BBBARRRYY!! and im like ...
A. 17 September 2010: Everybody loves a funny guy, but you need to show the girl you've got your eye on that you've also got a more serious, romantic side. I'm not saying to change who you are or to stop cracking jokes, but sometimes it's important to let the mood shift ... (read in full...)
He seems to be coming back -- how can I speed things up?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been broken up for a month now and we were going out for 2 years. We broke up on good terms and it was because we were bickering too much; not even real fighting. We hung out Tuesday night and had a really good conversation. ...
A. 17 September 2010: Whoooaaa Nelly. If you want him to come back, let him come back to you. It probably helped that you were "doing okay without him" for that month - it gave him space to miss you and to realize what he was missing out on. So don't overwhelm him with ... (read in full...)
I am frightened for her safety!
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been together nearly 2 years. Unfortunately most of the year we are spent separated by 200 miles. She works in a big city where as I live in the countryside, where we both met and are from. I love her dearly, and she ...
A. 7 September 2010: There are creeps all over - even in the country. So yes, to some degree it is "normal" for women to get into uncomfortable situations, or potentially threatening situations. She should learn how to take care of herself. If she is living ... (read in full...)
Too wet! How do I make it not that wet?
Q. My vagina gets really wet, even when i think about sex. My 2 ex's have pointed it out, and frankly its embarrassing. I know its normal, but its really embarrassing. Is there anything i can do to not make it that wet? Thanks for your comments! ...
A. 19 August 2010: Hi sweetness,
There isn't really anything you can do to stop your body from what it's doing naturally. And, I'm sure your boyfriends have found it sexy -it just shows them that you're really turned on! The only solution I can think of is keeping ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my boyfriend he's gonna be a dad?
Q. I'm pregnant and my mom just kicked me out. .. How do I tell the father in a way that he wont freak out ? I'm seeing him tomorrow to tell him .. advice please ?!?!?...
A. 9 August 2010: Well, it's great that he reacted so well. I do have the same question as the other poster - you haven't had sex? Has he ejaculated around or on your va-jayjay? Definitely go to the clinic to make sure, and if you are in fact pregnant, how very ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my boyfriend he's gonna be a dad?
Q. I'm pregnant and my mom just kicked me out. .. How do I tell the father in a way that he wont freak out ? I'm seeing him tomorrow to tell him .. advice please ?!?!?...
A. 8 August 2010: How tricky.. it's never easy to find the words, but your situation makes it even more challenging. I would prepare him tonight. Tell him that you've got some pretty huge news, give him a chance to get prepared for such a big announcement.
I thi... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my boyfriend, so why am I falling for another guy?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years and really love him to pieces. We've often talked about marriage and I know that he is proposing really soon :-). Over the past few months though, I've been kinda falling for this other guy. He's great, funny, ...
A. 6 August 2010: Yeah, this is pretty normal. I've been with my fella for 5 years, married for one and just in the last 6 months I got my first crush since being with my guy. It really flipped me out, and I felt absolutely horrible and guilty and started questioning ... (read in full...)
Am I just worrying over nothing?
Q. I keep worrying about the following, - Never had a long term relationship - Not great dating experience and bad luck in general with dating - Not many chance to meet women when I start working in male dominated industry. Some things I know I ca...
A. 6 August 2010: I think you're putting too much pressure and too many timelines on yourself. What will happen will happen. You're perfectly normal, I think you are worrying over nothing, and when a nice girl comes along who you want to date long term - you'll know ... (read in full...)
I just don't want to feel this jealousy anymore because it drives me insane!
Q. Hello there, I'm a very jealous person, unfortunately. I am not proud about it. My partner is speaking to this particualar person and I know that they like my partner more than just friends. My partner won't stop talking to them and it makes me ...
A. 6 August 2010: Well, it seems to me you're going to have to make a choice. You can choose to
a) let this bother you, stick in the relationship while going absolutely nuts with jealousy.
b) let it bother you, and make him choose - the friend or you. This is usual... (read in full...)
I haven't dated in a few years because of my anxiety. What can I do to get back into the game?
Q. Hello dear Uncles and Aunts. I have many questions for you, but I do apologize for the book I am about to write you. ;-)I'm a twenty year old college student wondering, "WTF is happening to me?!" Once upon a time, in the glorious land of high sch...
A. 7 July 2010: Hooray!! Glad to have helped, and ABSOLUTELY update!! I love hearing updates... tell us what new things you're doing to get out there and socialize! ... (read in full...)
He said he was clean but why am I having these symptoms?
Q. sorry to be graphic but i want the most accurate answers i can get. ok, so i went to see(we live 5 hours apart) my new bf who i have been with for 2 months, and he has had a bit of a history with girls(im the 8th girl hes slept with) and he has pick...
A. 6 July 2010: You may just have an infection of sorts - women get those. Maybe you're just having some extra discharge. But, you should absolutely go to a doctor and get checked out - maybe your boyfriend doesn't know that he's got an infection. Many STD's show ... (read in full...)
She's a free spirit and wants to break up to devote herself to studies
Q. I live with my beautiful 25 year old girlfriend. We moved in together very rapidly, after only a month of dating to make our rent cheaper and because we are both extremely spontaneous. We live with a mutual friend and our living situation is ...
A. 6 July 2010: She's the kind of girl who, if you push her, will just back farther and farther away from you. I think the best thing to do is to tell her how you're feeling and then check out of the relationship. If she somehow makes a break through in her cycle, ... (read in full...)
I want to get thinner but exercise isnt working!
Q. i'm going on a camp in a couple of weeks and i really want to get thinner. excercise doesn't really tend to work for me. any ideas?...
A. 6 July 2010: What losing weight comes down to is: eat better, exercise more. What you need to be doing is burning more calories - just sit ups and push ups usually aren't enough. So like Ravenxx91 suggested, riding your bike, swimming, going for walks (and I ... (read in full...)
A month ago he proposed but now I'm thinking it was a mistake to say yes
Q. Hello, I've been with my boyfriend for about two and a half years. Earlier this year, I was relocated for my job and had to move about 2 hours north of where I lived with my boyfriend. The job is pretty demanding, but I try to visit him once a...
A. 6 July 2010: Have you talked to him about this? You need to give him a chance to fix things before you just end things. It's not fair to expect him to be a mind reader. If he really loves you and wants to marry you, he's going to want to have a happy partner. ... (read in full...)
I haven't dated in a few years because of my anxiety. What can I do to get back into the game?
Q. Hello dear Uncles and Aunts. I have many questions for you, but I do apologize for the book I am about to write you. ;-)I'm a twenty year old college student wondering, "WTF is happening to me?!" Once upon a time, in the glorious land of high sch...
A. 6 July 2010: I loved reading your question - yes, you do have the creative eye!
You're in college, this means you are surrounded by opportunities. If you love being creative, etc., I think you should consider joining some activities that you'll really e... (read in full...)
She's a free spirit and wants to break up to devote herself to studies
Q. I live with my beautiful 25 year old girlfriend. We moved in together very rapidly, after only a month of dating to make our rent cheaper and because we are both extremely spontaneous. We live with a mutual friend and our living situation is ...
A. 6 July 2010: CaringGuy (as usual) could not be more right. Your girlfriend seems to have set herself a pattern, and I doubt she'll be getting out of her cycle - if ever. You have done nothing wrong, and she's probably completely sincere when she says that you're ... (read in full...)
Career or a perfect man?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are together for year and a half and he is just perfect. I dated guys and had serious relationships but this man is just 10/10 in every way he is caring, loving, best looking, great shape, smart, charming, funny, best in bed( ...
A. 3 July 2010: Also, if he is crazy about you and loves you, he will encourage you to pursue your dreams and not give up such an incredible opportunity! ... (read in full...)
Career or a perfect man?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are together for year and a half and he is just perfect. I dated guys and had serious relationships but this man is just 10/10 in every way he is caring, loving, best looking, great shape, smart, charming, funny, best in bed( ...
A. 3 July 2010: Yeah, I'm going to say go with the career. In fashion, a great job is rare to come by, and I think you'll spend the rest of your life kicking yourself if you don't accept it and go to Paris. If he is that wonderful, you can do a long distance thing, ... (read in full...)
Are my breasts normal?
Q. Kind of awkward (note me doing it on an anonymous website), but I have some issues with my breasts... I'm 15 and they're shaped like a V. Technically I'm a B-cup, but you couldn't tell if you saw me without my bra. They go straight down with an ...
A. 3 July 2010: Oooh yes, my dear, your breasts are perfectly normal. I used to fit bras at V. Secret and I used to fit a lot of girls your age - your breasts are just developing and filling out. And even if they end up looking a little more V than U, you are still ... (read in full...)
Want to stay friends with my ex, but he is drawing away, help??
Q. Hi, me and my boyfriend, or should I say ex, just broke up last Thursday because it wasn't working between us. We agreed to stay friends seeing as we were really good mates before we started going out and neither of us wanted to ruin that ...
A. 3 July 2010: I'm friends with all of my exes, and that happened through giving it time and space to chill out and get rid of all those excess feelings. Trying to be friends too quickly just leads to unresolved feelings becoming unearthed, and that gets messy ... (read in full...)
How can I reduce how wet I get during sex?
Q. Okay, so I get extremely wet while having sex, almost to the point where I can't feel the pleasure anymore. My boyfriend tells me that I get too wet, but we continue to have sex anyways. Is there anything I can do to not get so wet?...
A. 3 July 2010: Well, I don't think you can stop your body from producing what it wants to produce. But, you can not use lube (all though I assume you don't), and keep a towel next to the bed, so you can periodically wipe yourself off.
Good luck!! ... (read in full...)
I want to tell my mother that I'm going to start transitioning to being a male.
Q. for a good part of my life i have felt like i was really a guy but never told anyone. now i want to start going to therapy and maybe transitioning from "female" to male. the main problem is my mother, who i know wont understand or approve of this. ...
A. 3 July 2010: Check out: http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=194&srcid=-2
I know a lot of people who have transitioned to other genders (I grew up in a cool town), and I know that PFLAG has helped a lot of them, and given them a warm support base. Maybe yo... (read in full...)
How can I let her know she is an annoying friend without being harsh?
Q. I go to a big church, I'm single and don't have many friends. I met this girl who's 5 years younger like two years ago, but now we are getting to know each other better. Even though she is married with two little ones she feels kind of lonely too ...
A. 1 July 2010: I completely agree with CaringGuy. It sounds like she's just a little desperate to concrete this friendship. She's probably excited to have a new girlfriend, and she's coming on a little strong.
Do you have fun with her in between the annoying... (read in full...)
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