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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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Why did my shy crush say eww about me and the laugh?
Q. She was in their computer room talking to her mom, who was standing at the doorway. Then my friend and I began to walk by, him in front of me. When I reached the doorway of the computer room, I could see her staring at me like she normally does. ...
A. 18 April 2010: Well, if she's around her Mom then who knows what she could have been referring to? Mom's extract "eww"s on a regular basis. Since you couldn't really see what went on behind your back, I would settle for all of the other evidence pointing towards ... (read in full...)
I'm not completely satisfied with my girlfriend, need advice.
Q. I'm confused about what to do with my girlfriend. We have been together for approximately 4 months. It has been a wonderful experience, but in so many ways I'm not sure if I'm content. Many would consider her very attractive but certain f...
A. 18 April 2010: I'm in a cut-n-dry kind of mood tonight, so I'm going to skip all the extra stuff and get down to the bare bones of your question. I think that you should break up with your girlfriend. You are young and it seems like getting yourself fully invested ... (read in full...)
Dos and don'ts of a long distance relationship?
Q. I am in a long distance relationship with my girl for over two months, how do we survive, what are the dos and don'ts,because i have heard that it rarely works. If u have been in one before,your help we be appreciated. ...
A. 18 April 2010: It's very simple. First - have the drive to be together. Be in love. Have the excitement to make it work. All that other great advice you received.
Most importantly, trust each other. And be trustworthy.
That is the essential tool to make a l... (read in full...)
Is it wrong that I'm glad my brother has been sectioned?
Q. My younger brother(17) has had anorexia for the last 2 years and he has always resisted treatment but he has got so bad that he was sectioned yesterday. I was talking to my sister and I said I was glad as he will finally get the help he needs wh...
A. 14 April 2010: I agree with all the other posters. It's not wrong at all to be happy that your brother is finally getting the help he needs. I agree with KC, I think that your sister might have some issues or anger or sadness about the situation that made her turn ... (read in full...)
Torn between two of my friends.
Q. I need advice. Two of my best friends havn't spoken to each other since early january. I have been trying to hang out with both of them. well kat (not real name) decided that i had to choose who i was going to stay friends with. and i told her that ...
A. 13 April 2010: You know, any friend who forces you to choose is not a very good friend. So, don't beg for her back. A friend should not stress you out like this, make you feel bad and worry if you've angered her and if you're "breaking up" again... so, be grateful ... (read in full...)
Worried about having sex for the first time
Q. I am 15 years old, almost 16, and my girlfriend is 16. We have been together for 6 months, but we were friends before this. We are deeply in love, and care hugely for one another - the thought of losing her makes me feel physically sick. We a...
A. 13 April 2010: Well, if you really, honestly are going to do this, the key is to relax and take things super slowly. It may take several, several tries before you get all the way in, and several, several times before the sex gets good (at least for her). If you ... (read in full...)
Am I a normal size?
Q. I'm going to be 15 in August and I am an adult 34A. I've always been really self conscious about my little breasts, I was flat chested until I was 14. I'm not saying I want double D's, a friend the same age as me has them (not fun) she hates them. ...
A. 12 April 2010: I worked at Victoria's Secret for years and saw many, MANY women with 34A's. Women in their teens, young adults and older women. But, you're also very young and I am making an educated guess here when I say that you're probably going to put on some ... (read in full...)
What is your take on this love letter?
Q. XXX is to protect my ex's name, and mine. Please tell me of the tone of the letter, and the idea of the ballet tix. I am asking of as many people's feedback as possible. ----- Dear XXXX, I ask you to read these words with an open mind and he...
A. 12 April 2010: First off - HOORAY FOR YOU!!!! A happy ending! This seriously made my day.
Secondly to Q - your avatar makes me really happy. I love Pearls Before Swine!! ... (read in full...)
Present for my ex-girl friend?
Q. So, my now ex-girlfriend and I broke up about four months ago, over some personality quirks of mine and we sort of agreed it would be better for her if the relationship ended. Her birthday is coming up soon and I wanted to get her something nice ...
A. 8 April 2010: At most, a card. And nothing too sappy - just something friendly. I did like the giftcard to Starbucks idea. Don't go too crazy, because you don't want to trump her boyfriend. Just sending a nice note on her birthday will show her that you thought ... (read in full...)
I'm in need of ideas for her birthday gift.
Q. Hi, My girlfriends birthday is coming up very soon. I really need some help thinking of an original gift to get her (not jewelry, chocolate, etc.). I'm far from creative and would like a little help with something romantic. Of course I already...
A. 8 April 2010: Buy a disposable camera and take her out for lots of adventures - like go to the zoo, or arcade, or any activity that she'll enjoy, like if she's into theater or dance, take her to a concert. Take lots of pictures, fill up the camera and while you ... (read in full...)
I always thought I was gay but these recent feelings about women have confused me!
Q. Ok so at the moment I’m really confused I have always felt things for men, I Think there sexy and someday I wand a boyfriend but recently I have found myself getting hard over Women. I can’t say I really find them attractive and I have nev...
A. 8 April 2010: I think you're trying too hard to put yourself in a box. I'm a believer in the Kinsey scale (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale), and I think that there's an awful lot of gray area in sexuality. So don't get freaked out that you're finding ... (read in full...)
What would be the perfect date?
Q. Hi just wanted to hear your views on what would be the perfect date (not the person, but destination, activity, w/e) thanks...
A. 6 April 2010: I think the perfect date is totally unique to the people going on it! For instance, my dream date would start with Thai food, then a play at the theater. Or going to a fair/festival and then cooking dinner at home together. To some people, that ... (read in full...)
Should I go with my best friend to the prom since his girlfriend can't go?
Q. My 2 bestfriends are dating each, one is a senior and the other is a freshman, prom is comming up and she can't go with him because her mom won't allow it. So he's been getting upset since he couldn't find someone to take to prom, so I mentioned to ...
A. 6 April 2010: I think you should bring it up to him. He probably is nervous about asking someone who isn't his girlfriend. Make this situation a whole lot less awkward and just go ahead and bring it up to him. No use dragging it out any longer!!
Good luck, sw... (read in full...)
Use Him And Lose HIm
Q. Ive been friends w/ this guy for a while, he asked me out and i said yes. He really gets on my nerves sometimes and i kinda want to break up with him, but I also really want to have sex with him haha. My friends say "use him and lose him" It sounds ...
A. 5 April 2010: There are plenty of hot guys out there that will be into being just a booty call or one night stand. Don't let this guy get his heart broken just because you are horny! And, he could start talking and, as CaringGuy said, get you a reputation as a ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's proposal was rushed and unplanned, and it doesn't feel right. How do I get over the disappointment?
Q. I know it's going to make me sound like a bitch but I am struggling with something and in need of advice. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years. A couple of weeks ago he proposed to me. And I said yes. But it didn't feel right. He we...
A. 5 April 2010: I had a similar experience, and instead of being gutsy and just saying it like you, I just held it in and felt horribly guilty for such thoughts. I loved him like crazy, but I was a tiny bit disappointed with the proposal. And I felt like scum for ... (read in full...)
G/f lives across the street from her ex and I hate it!
Q. I am in a long distance relationship which has been working out for me and my partner, we had plan to move together next year which my partner will relocate, the only problem i have with my partner is she live directly across the street from her ex, ...
A. 2 April 2010: Well, you're just need to get over it or stay broken up. Are you asking her to move? Are you asking her to resign being a God Mother? Because it seems like that's what it will take to make you happy, and you have to recognize that that's a pretty ... (read in full...)
I defended myself against a high school bully and now my girlfriend has broken up with me
Q. [Moderator ote: Obviously the age posted above is incorrect] I am in the 10th grade. My girlfriend broke up with me and I don't understand why. My family moved and at the new highschool, this 11th grader started to hassle me. He wanted to ini...
A. 2 April 2010: Well, I have to admit, while I understand that you were simply defending yourself, what you did WAS really scary and unnecessary. You showed that when pushed you get violent. And you didn't stop just with a jab in the eye, you pushed him down and ... (read in full...)
His bad breath and nasty comments about his exes are making me wonder... am I too unfussy?
Q. Hi Guys, I have been on a few dates with a guy recently and the problem is he has very bad breath indeed. He is not very attractive facially and has the bad breath and when I first met him I didn't fancy him that much but he made me laugh and ...
A. 1 April 2010: Okay, so he's got horrid hygiene, insults his exes and already has insulted you?? Well, two out of three of those things I could maybe excuse if he was the sweetest, kindest, warmest, most amazing guy you had ever met. But tag on these snarky ... (read in full...)
My friend is really annoying, negative and moody lately!
Q. My friend seems to be really annoying nagative and moody lately. Im in love with this boy and im texting her about him and she claims shes all annoyed with my obsessive talking about him. And thats such a load of bull. She will rant and rave about ...
A. 31 March 2010: Sounds like a pretty normal problem for friends in high school to have. Either you really are talking way too much about this new guy and just driving her crazy, or she's a little bit jealous, or she's a little self-centered and just wants to talk ... (read in full...)
Living together... is it too soon?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend 2 1/2 months and he's 100% different to any other relationship I've ever had. From day one we met, we got on amazingly, we both felt like we'd known each other years but that massive spark of attraction was there, and ...
A. 31 March 2010: You say that you're in this loved up honeymoon stage... why not enjoy it!?? Moving in together is a really difficult move to make, because then you are no longer "dating" and some of the mystery, excitement and anticipation is gone. I agree with ... (read in full...)
What is your take on this love letter?
Q. XXX is to protect my ex's name, and mine. Please tell me of the tone of the letter, and the idea of the ballet tix. I am asking of as many people's feedback as possible. ----- Dear XXXX, I ask you to read these words with an open mind and he...
A. 30 March 2010: Well, I really think that this letter is great. It's thoughtful, elegant, and it doesn't sound desperate, needy or pushy. And, the tickets are a really wonderful idea. If someone did that for me, I would be so happy that they knew me so well.
... (read in full...)
Nervous flyer!!!
Q. Does anyone have any helpful tips on how to stay relaxed while flying? I am a nervous flyer and would appreciate any tips!...
A. 30 March 2010: I'm a totally nervous flyer, but for the last 5 years I've been forced to fly at least 4-5 times a year. And yes, when turbulence hits, I still get shaky, but this is how I deal with it:
a) Dramamine. No motion sickness AND no memory of a flight t... (read in full...)
My mum has threatened to kick me out of the house if I don't do what she wants!
Q. im 16, pretty independent, mature an very respectful. but lately ive been stressed out an realy upset cause of my mum. she is extremely controlling, in fact she grounded me until i am mature! my mum knows my dream is to be a great chef, and she ...
A. 30 March 2010: I think she is right in telling you to finish school. Your life will be a lot better if you know you've got a high school diploma. Clearly, she's got your best interest in mind. If you have the opportunity to do an apprenticeship, talk to the people ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is in the army and I miss him like crazy.
Q. Hey, I have a boyfriend, and he is now in the army. He hasn't left yet but he will in August. He just turned 18 in March. Lets call him....Rambo XD. I love Rambo with all my heart and soul. He says his job doesn't involve any combat so he cant ge...
A. 30 March 2010: Hello my darling,
I married an artist. I'm a theater girl. As you can imagine, we're not really the typical "military type". But life happened, one thing lead to another, and now he's a Marine. It's been really hard, because 8 days after we tied ... (read in full...)
Another guy instead of my boyfriend gives me butterflies. Is the allure just that the other guy is a mystery to me?
Q. Here's to hoping you guys can give me some opinions. I've never been in a serious relationship before the current one with my BF. We've been together for 9 months. Before him I always chased the guy, getting all excited if my crush talked to me...
A. 30 March 2010: Well, getting a crush is totally normal. Crushes happen! Hey, I've been happily married and dating my fella for almost 5 years now and I just got a crush not too long ago. Yes, at first there was some guilt... but then I had to turn around and be my ... (read in full...)
I cum too fast!
Q. So my problem is that, I cum too fast. The second my boyfriend sticks it in, I just cum and idk what I can do to keep myself from cuming so fast. Any tips? Is anything wrong with me? ...
A. 30 March 2010: Oooh, lucky girl. I, for one, am a little bit jealous!
So, if you cum too fast and your problem is that then you get exhausted and want to take a break, this is my suggestion. Start off with sex. Get off and then take a break - go down on him for ... (read in full...)
I don't want to go abroad when my parents move... Help!
Q. I really want to stay in the country I am, but my parents are forcing me to go to Australia, which I don't want to. They want me to go in July. How can I stop this? I don't want to go abroad!!...
A. 30 March 2010: Well, you can't exactly control this. However, you can always apply to go to a university in the country you are in! Then, just see your detour to Australia as a little vacation and a way to spend a little extra time with your family. Pet some ... (read in full...)
He was bummed, and seemed disappointed. What can I do to help our budding relationship?
Q. So the other night this guy who I really like and me had sex for the first time. I was a little confused because I couldnt tell if he was enjoying it or not... it was hard to see any facial expressions in the dark but I could feel that he was ...
A. 30 March 2010: I'll bet he was just really focused (TOO focused, even), on making you happy and making you orgasm. So, he probably got so absorbed in giving you pleasure that he forgot to just relax and enjoy himself and not put pressure on the situation.
It's ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to cook and need some tips
Q. Ok I know this doesn't have anything to do with sex,relationship or love but I have to ask sombody...... well im 21 years old and I have a two year old and im preg.... I live with my boyfriend and my two year old. Well we always eat out, because ...
A. 30 March 2010: You can always look up videos online or start watching the cooking channel. Me and Rachel Ray are like, best friends. Well, not really but me and her recipes certainly are!
http://home.ivillage.com/cleanandorganize/organize/0,,dl,00.html
http... (read in full...)
Thank you, Dear Cupid!
Q. [Moderator note: Thank you for the compliment! We're very glad we've been able to help you.] p /> This is not a question but I would like to say that I find dear cupid the best thing that has happend to me because when I have a question I j...
A. 30 March 2010: Awww, that's so sweet. I think it's totally great that people have a place to turn with questions that might be awkward or uncomfortable to ask people they know. And I'm so glad that the awesome team of Dear Cupiders have helped you out!!
Here'... (read in full...)
Signs that he's gay vs. signs that he's not...
Q. Give Me your Opinion Please! Signs he IS gay: 1)He Likes Big Time Rush 2)He Listens To Nick Jonas and thinks he is "raw" 3)He Watches The Show "Glee" 4)He Flirts with me and His overall interactions with me are completely different fro...
A. 28 March 2010: Blue waffle is truly the most disgusting thing ever. Any guy who is turned on by that has SERIOUS problems.
I think you're reading too much into stereotypes and focusing on dividing up his character into straight/gay labels. Gosh, if someone ... (read in full...)
How do I get her to believe me when I say she's beautiful?
Q. I have been dating this AMAZING girl for almost 7 months now, and every time, tell her, she's beautiful, or amazing, she just kind of blows it off, but then someone else can say something like "wow you look good" and she'll thank them and a agree in ...
A. 28 March 2010: As a woman, I can tell you that some chicks will never come out and say, "yes, I believe you. I am beautiful!". The best thing that you can do is just keep showing her how beautiful you think she is and telling her how pretty she looks in that ... (read in full...)
I've just discovered the boy I like is much younger and just a kid
Q. There's this guy I like so much but I don't even talk to him. I don't know him either. I recently found out he's possibly one or two years younger than me. Couldn't tell cos he was so tall and seemed matured. Now I feel so down, cos I don't know ...
A. 28 March 2010: If you're 16 and he's 15 or 14, that age difference really isn't that big of a deal. I dated a few guys younger than me when I was in high school. The only thing to be worried about is that they may not be as mature as you! But, if he seems mature ... (read in full...)
Controlling boyfriend interfering with my dreams
Q. i have just joined this site to answer peoples problems... but i also have a problem myself. i have been with my boyfriend for a year now, i love him more than anything in this world. but these past few months things have changed, its like i dont ...
A. 26 March 2010: You're giving advice on this site now, so turn around and look at your question objectively. What advice would you give yourself? You can not stay in this relationship, not if you want to be happy in your life. I'm not even going to lay out why - ... (read in full...)
Ladies... Fingers in your mouth during "passion". Yes or no?
Q. Lets say you are in the heat of the moment and he is being very passionate during sex..... Do you find it a turn on when your partner puts one or two fingers in your mouth to suck on? Or do you find it a bit weird? Of course, this is all duri...
A. 26 March 2010: I'm into it!! You can't shove your fingers into her mouth, don't force it... because as you can tell, some people like it and some people don't! So, ease into it... brush your fingers across her lips and see how she reacts to it.
Test the wate... (read in full...)
My boyfriend makes me feel insecure
Q. I love my boyfriend to death - I feel like we're perfect for each other and we communicate really well and love each other so much - but we have a huge problem. Firstly - Because of our culture we do not have sex, but we are soon to get married. ...
A. 25 March 2010: A fully secure couple who can openly discuss the attractiveness of others can do that because they KNOW that they are the sexiest people in the world to each other. Your boyfriend is not doing his job and not making you feel secure about yourself. ... (read in full...)
He sent flowers and a bear from overseas, but I am not happy coz they arrived at night after I waited all day for a call.
Q. hey everyone! okay,so it was my birthday a week back and my best friend stays in another country. He sent me flowers that reached me the evening of my birthday and a cute bunny bear that said I love you. But throughout the day,I was waiting for ...
A. 25 March 2010: I read your reply and even with all of that, I still think that you're overreacting. Clearly, your best friend thought of you and wanted to let you know he remembered and thought of you. Maybe he didn't call because he was busy, it was expensive, or ... (read in full...)
Unreasonable???
Q. I need URGENT advice here, Me and and my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years were due to view an apartment this evening which had been planned a few weeks ago. We were hoping to move into this apartment on 24th April, very soon. There has been a lot of ...
A. 24 March 2010: Yes, I think you are being unreasonable. You can look at an apartment any day (maybe this one you can ONLY see today, but come on, think big picture), but the birth of a new life is a once in a lifetime experience. I completely agree with everyone ... (read in full...)
Embarrassed and confused... could I be gay?
Q. Hey I'm a 13 year old boy from Wales. I have a question about my sexuality. Sorry if this sounds dumb. Today in English, my teacher taught us about PEE. For those of you who don't know, PEE is a technique that we use in English that stands for Poin...
A. 24 March 2010: This isn't a dumb question at all. You're young, curious and horny by teenage nature. Don't be so quick to force yourself into a box. You don't need to label yourself yet, your sexuality is just developing and with time and experience you'll have a ... (read in full...)
How do I cope with their friendly relationship without interfering?
Q. The guy i like at school is currently 'married' to one of my closest friends on facebook, I know hes interested in me vaguely, but im not sure how to act on it. At the moment my friend dosn't like him as more than a friend, but i am worried it wi...
A. 24 March 2010: You should definitely tell your friend that you're crushing on him! If you feel like she really has purely platonic feelings for him, you should open up to your BFF and let her know how you're feeling. Maybe she can help you out, or find out if he ... (read in full...)
Although I don't want a serious relationship, I want to go further than second base
Q. I'm a senior in college and went through a messy breakup about two months ago. Since then I've decided that I don't want a serious relationship with anyone for a while and I would rather try dating casually. I met this girl while helping ou...
A. 22 March 2010: I would keep things cooled off. I know if it was me who rejected going further and then you immediately tried again, I'd be completely turned off from you. Maybe she's just not ready to go that far with a relationship that is so new and with someone ... (read in full...)
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