A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm eight months and three weeks pregnant with my best friend's baby. My best friend is obviously a guy and it was a stupid, drunken, completely irresponsible night. And... I've been dating another guy for a year and five months now. Yes, I cheated, let's move on, please.Both of them think the paternal gene is from my boyfriend but we used a condom for the last time we've had sex; which, coincidentally, was about eight months ago. I'm not going to lie: It's been rather stressful and I'm fully aware of the fact that I did this to myself (got drunk and had sex with my best friend of 15 years).Well, my boyfriend is the whitest guy you will ever meet and I'm not too dark myself. But my best friend is Mexican and he's rather on the tan side, so I'm mostly worried about what the baby will look like. In skin-color, that is. When it's born, what will I do when my boyfriend sees that it's a bit darker in skin color than it should be?Should I just get it over with and tell them both that my best friend is the father? He's actually expressed to me, just once, that he wished he could be one day be the father of my kids and now he is and he doesn't even know it. And I'm now realizing how stupid this situation is. But I'm still super nervous about it. What should I do about this?
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female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (25 January 2010):
 Get this out in the open now, before the baby bonds with the wrong man.
The truth always outs itself eventually and who knows, perhaps the baby IS the man you're with's baby - condoms are not always 100% effective.
Tell them both NOW. Chances are they will both be more than upset but for the sake of the baby, you have to bite the bullet here and be honest.
Take a paternity test after the baby is born, just to confirm the father and go from there.
I hope you have a safe birth, congratulations on your baby, i'm sorry about the pickle you've gotten yourself into though. Good luck. xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2010): try speaking the thruth for a change.
does your bf know that you slept with this other man.
you brushed over your cheating - why? can you not see the wrongs of your behaviour. \
i pity that kid, when the truth comes out. rather learn to speak the truth. BE HONEST ABOUT ITS PATERNITY
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2010): Deceptions about who is the father are not okay and in the long run the truth usually comes out anyway. Spill the beans right away. Don't wait until this child is born.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (24 January 2010):
 Well, there's no easy way to do this... and certainly, both of them will be hurt. Your boyfriend, because you cheated and your best friend, because you kept this secret from him. So it won't be a picnic dropping the bomb. But, I do think it's much better to do it sooner than later, especially before the baby comes out. It will be so much harder for your boyfriend to handle if the baby has already come into the world and your boyfriend is looking at it as if it's his own flesh, blood and DNA... to find out that it's not his will be an even more intense blow.
It's no surprise that you're nervous, but I really believe that spilling the beans now rather than later will be much easier than later. There will never be an easy time to do it, but the sooner, the better.
Good luck, sweetness and a happy, smooth labor!
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A
female
reader, problemmaganet  +, writes (24 January 2010):
 I think you should just get it over with and tell them. I don't think you'll want to be explaining the whole thing in the hospital, and it's better to get everything settled before the baby is born. If it is your best friend's baby, you need to tell his and your parents. You can't keep it a secret. It will be an ordeal to go through, yes, but every action has it's consequences.
Good luck, and I hope that everything turns out okay for you.
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