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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Is seeing the ex necessary for closure?
Q. Hi everyone, thanks for reading! So about 9 months ago, my now ex boyfriend and I broke up. We were together for 3 years and I have never felt that way about anyone else before. Things went bad down the line because he did not want a relati...
A. 11 March 2009: By not meeting up with him, your ex will get the point and realise it is over. If you go see him then you will only make him think there is a chance for you two, and it will make him think that you still have feelings for him.
Dont go to see him,... (read in full...)
The Loved And Lost
Q. Hi everyone. Im new here and I need some advice. Okay, here we go. I am in love with a girl I have known for a while. We have been close friends ever since we met and the day I started having feelings for her I told her. She said she felt the sam...
A. 11 March 2009: How can you be in love with her if you were acutally never together? I'm afraid this sounds like another case of a teenager thinking they are in love when they have no idea of what love acutally is. Love can only come once you have been with someone ... (read in full...)
How do you motivate yourself to be healthier?
Q. I know this site is generally for relationship advice but I have a query I'd love some help on, and I'm sure it's something many people can relate to or give advice on. I am terribly unhealthy. I eat way too much and exercise way too little. ...
A. 11 March 2009: You just have to find excercise that you enjoy - no-one on here can help you with that! Try lots of new things, any excericise is better than nothing!
Some people enjoy running, some enjoy swimming, some just like to spend hours in the gym. If ... (read in full...)
Is this a case of bipolar love ??
Q. huuuuuhh.... ok. Here I go. ---IT’S TOO LONG SO IF U DON’T WANT TO, DON’T READ IT 2 years ago, i met this guy i'll call Jm who asked me for $ and then dissapeared. So I forgot about his name and about his existence. He also gave it back to me la...
A. 11 March 2009: You met him two years ago??? So that would make you like what, 11-13? This is all just too crazy for someone of your age! Why would you just hand over money to someone you just met? I must say this question makes not a lot of sense, it is badly ... (read in full...)
He can be so charming but I think he's playing games
Q. So here's a long story, but it has no ending yet...i'm trying to figure it out. A month ago I met a guy, I had seen him before, and I always thought he was really cute, but he never paid attention to me. That night, he approached my friend and let ...
A. 11 March 2009: I think you have both made a bit of a mess of this - standing you up was a terrible thing to do and he could have got a message to you before hand (did he lose his computer too?!). If I were you, I would have walked away from it all right there, ... (read in full...)
19 year old girlfriend and her frequent visits to Bars... :(
Q. Ok, I am 18 years old. i have met a beautiful girl, who means everything to me. I love her personality, the way she smiles, and the way she laughes. everything about her is inviting. I met her 6 months ago. We werent offcially going out, but we w...
A. 11 March 2009: She sounds like she is not ready to give up the single life yet, by going out to bars frequently with other guys it is clear she is not ready for a committed relationship.
There is not much you can do here - either accept that this is the way she ... (read in full...)
What can I possible do to win her back????
Q. On Xmas day my Girlfriend of 2 years left me. We where living with her parents while we saved for our own place. The reasons she gave me was because it had become difficult with her family. The relationship was a good one many happy times together ...
A. 10 March 2009: She is clearly playing games with you I'm afraid, to claim that she wants a grand gesture from you is just childish. She is living in a fantasy world where she thinks relationships should be like they are in the movies.
If you really want her back... (read in full...)
Once a cheat? The doubt is driving me crazy!
Q. Hello, I'm looking for some advice. I've been with my bf for nearly 9 years. Last year, he came home (we were living together, not engaged/not married)from a working trip abroad and abruptly told me he didn't want to be with me anymore. Four week...
A. 10 March 2009: Well technically he hasnt cheated on you however his behaviour is hugely suspicious and all the so called flirting he has been doing is not acceptable.
You just need to think of it this way - if he denies it all and says he has never done any... (read in full...)
So should I accept when he asks?
Q. I am quite a good student at school, and am respected by my peers in that sense, but at the same time, my friends all like me, and think I am a fun, funny person to be around with. I am always pulling small pranks and just having fun, but balancing ...
A. 10 March 2009: I say go for it - if you both like each other then why not start dating. Your friends might think it is weird and might not be too happy about it but as long as you do not change as a person and he treats you right then they wont mind.
Just ... (read in full...)
I screwed up! Should I just call her?
Q. Hi all, I recently had one of the best nights with a woman I have ever had, at least that was my interpretation of the night when under the influence of alcohol. After a few days of coming to terms with what actually happened that night, I ca...
A. 10 March 2009: I think unless you know her exact address (or can get it off a friend/colleague etc) then a phone call is best. A letter would be really nice and would show you have made a real effort, however if you have no way of getting it to her (and dont try ... (read in full...)
I want to gain weight!
Q. I am 13 years old, turning 14 in a few weeks and am about 5'4? I weigh exactly 100 lbs but everyone says I'm way too skinny. I also have sclerosis so one of my ribs sticks out and the other one doesn't. It's not that noticeable at all unless I...
A. 10 March 2009: Dont take any silly supplements or drinks like that anonymous reader has said, there are much better natural ways of gaining weight.
Now first things first, you are a little too skinny for your height. But you are so young so you have not stopped ... (read in full...)
Should I cut all contact with her and get on with my life or try to slowly purse a future relationship with her?
Q. Hey Guys and Gals, I'm on a slippery slope in my head right now. I broke up with my gf who I've been seeing for 5 years now. I'm 21 and we've seen each other since school, after which we went to different universities but managed to keep the flame ...
A. 10 March 2009: Well first of all how does she feel about the break-up? Was it more of a mutual thing or was it all your decision? Does she want you back? There is not much point in pursuing a relationship with her unless she wants to get back together!
It so... (read in full...)
I have very low self esteem and don't like what I see when I look in the mirror
Q. i have really low. Selfesteem now and i dnt know why before i was pretty sure of myself and i dnt think am da most gorgeous gurl but am pretty i know it but i dnt feel like it... Im 5"11 and i dnt think guys like that am a dark skinned spanish i ...
A. 10 March 2009: You need to stop thinking that guys dont like you for your height, weight, skin colour etc as this is just not true! Every guy you meet will have a different "type" when it comes to women, there is no one type of woman that is more attractive than ... (read in full...)
One date and I don't understand his actions
Q. I met a guy online two weeks ago and he recently asked me out. He planned the whole thing so well and made such an effort and even wanted to pick me up (I decided to meet him there for safety reasons). I mentioned to him once that I collect certain ...
A. 10 March 2009: He is giving off mixed signals to you and I think you could be right about him wanting to wait until he gets back.
But you cannot wait around for some guy who may or may not like you! I think you should just move on, there are plenty more guys out... (read in full...)
Had baby with 1st cousin..no one knows
Q. ok this is hard i havent told anyone-my son is 2 1/2mo's old i got prego by my first cousin nobody no's who the father is its been a hard secret to keep for a year .in the past when i was 14 he was 19 we got caught doing it in a car he went to ...
A. 10 March 2009: I think some professional help in this case is your best option, as a qualified professional will be able to give you so much more help than anyone can on here.
I think what your family will have been most upset about is the fact he went to jail,... (read in full...)
I slept naked with him and now I'm worried
Q. I slept naked with my boyfriend..How ever he was clothed..He kissed me all over.. After this I'm really guilty for what i did:(:(I am not even talking to him properly.. what do i do in this situation???I'm having sleepless nights cuz of this.He a...
A. 10 March 2009: I'm not sure what you are worried about here? You cannot get pregnant nor can you get any STD's from doing this so health wise, nothing can happen to you.
If you were not comfortable with what you did then explain this to your boyfriend, you shou... (read in full...)
I want to pursue a married woman!
Q. I have recently met this amazing women, she is everything I want in a partner. The only problem is, is that she has been married for almost 20 years and has kids. im in my mid twenties, and she is almost 40 LOL! yes there is a hudge age difference, ...
A. 10 March 2009: You need to be mature about this here. This is only lust and passion you are feeling with this woman, it will fade away in time. Dont break up her family on the basis of passion, it is not fair on the children.
You need to think about her family i... (read in full...)
Am I making a big deal of nothing?
Q. i would like to know if i am just being a big baby or if i should be as frustrated (i guess would be the right word) as i am.. my and my girlfriend decided to make the step to engagement on new years FINALLY but like everything there is a problem....
A. 10 March 2009: Well you are not making a big deal of this, you have every right to be worried and annoyed; if she no longer had any feelings for this guy she would find it easy to tell him and if they were just friends, then he would be happy for her.
So I ... (read in full...)
I've decided to swallow my boyfriend's semen, but I'm still scared.
Q. i've decided to swallow my bfs semen and i'm still nervous about it. i'm afraid i'll gag from the taste. people said it's better to let it shoot down your throat but i'm horrible at deep throating. i was wondering, does the semen shoot out fast into ...
A. 9 March 2009: That STD screen is the most important thing first before you go ahead and do this, you dont want to put your health at risk by doing something nice for him!
Now I personally have a very sensitive gag reflex and I dont particularly enjoy giving b... (read in full...)
Is he not into me?
Q. I asked this question before but didnt get a lot of answers so here goes again. I met this guy through a friend. My friend lives with him and he told me that the guy doesnt really hook up and he mentioned that he wanted something long term and that ...
A. 9 March 2009: Give him time. I dont think he would have said those things to you if he wasnt interested, and I'm sure there is a good reason why he has not been in touch.
Maybe going round to your friends house would be a good idea - that way you will see how ... (read in full...)
My fiancee wants an abortion, but the thought of it makes me sick. What should I do?
Q. Hi everyone. My fiancee was scared to death of becoming pregnant and now she is. We use contraception but nothing is 100% as you all know. She has always been adamant that she will get an abortion regardless of whether I want it or not and she says ...
A. 9 March 2009: You are in such a terrible position and at the end of the day, she can have the abortion without you so she can technically do what she wants to do. Abortions after 8 weeks are pretty nasty - is she aware of the procedure? This may help influence ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried? She's hopefully not pregnant...
Q. Me and my girlfriend where having intercourse and i finished in a condom and then she wanted to keep going so just to be on the safe side i put another condom on with spermicidal lubricant and it came off when i pulled out but with this condom i ...
A. 9 March 2009: There is probably a tiny tiny chance she could be pregnant but it is very unlikely seen as you used a condom the first time round. To be on the safe side she probably should take the morning after pill. Just suggest it to her and see what she has to ... (read in full...)
I don't understand men!
Q. I Dont understand MEN!!! Right ok this is what i dont get... There a lad who yes i am insanely over the top in love with...he knows i like him(not to that extent but he knows and stuff) because everyone used to think he liked me back, he showed ...
A. 9 March 2009: When he leaves? Where is he going?
Aside from that part, this is all such a teenage crush! You like him, he probably likes you a bit too but doesnt want a girlfriend and then in front of his mates he is doing the whole macho act.
I dont want t... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is cross dressing & lying about it
Q. I am a 19 year old female and a few months into our relationship i found out that my bf liked to cross dress. He is 24. I was disgusted at this and confronted him about it. He said he would try to stop but things got flung out and more stuff got ...
A. 9 March 2009: You dont trust him, he doesnt trust you - and you are engaged? At 19? Trust is a massive part of a relationship and if you dont trust each other then the relationship has no future, it is as simple as that.
While his cross dressing is not a terrib... (read in full...)
Because we don't have sex he accuses me of having it with someone else?
Q. Ok I've been dating this guy for a few months. Things moved pretty quickly as far as emotions are involved. I have deep feelings for him, and from what he says the feeling is mutual. I decided to wait a while before we had sex. He said no problem. ...
A. 9 March 2009: Happytochat has given some excellent advice there, this guy definately is displaying some signs of an abusive personality and I think you need to seriously think hard about the future of this relationship.
I personally believe you should end this... (read in full...)
Pregnant without sex by touching organs?
Q. hii i'm interest if it posible if a virgin can get pregnant without having sex, only touching sperm in her sexual organs?...
A. 9 March 2009: Your question is worded very badly and it is hard to understand what you are asking!
I'm guessing that the answer you are looking for is something like this.....If you have touched sperm with your hands and then touched yourself around or in yo... (read in full...)
He looks at younger women
Q. Im getting married in August to a wonderful man. We are so happy, both widowed, both 52. Our life together is absolute bliss, except that he will look at young girls when we are out. He has always appreciated women, I know he wouldn't cheat on me, ...
A. 9 March 2009: Well you say here you are not jealous of these younger women, so what is it that actually makes you so upset about it?
Is it because he feels the need to look at someone other than you i.e. do you feel you are not enough for him?
Is it because... (read in full...)
Is talking on the phone ok? Or should I just end things?
Q. I am 22 and I worked with a girl thats 15 and we became good friends. I never hung out with her nor would I because of the age difference and the possibilty of being reported. My question is, because we are friends, is it okay that we talk over ...
A. 9 March 2009: Talking on the phone is fine, if you are just friends (and she is aware of that too!) then no harm can come of it.
You seem to be aware of possible problems here so as long as you stick to just being friends then you will be fine. Just make sur... (read in full...)
It bothers me that my b/f goes out only the times I can't accompany him, what can I do?
Q. I have a new job and I work shifts and it involves me working till about 9-10 at night sometimes. My boyfriend has been planning lots of big nights out with just his boy mates specifically on the nights that i am working late. I dont mind him going ...
A. 6 March 2009: You just need to talk to him about this. Explain to him that you feel he is organising these nights out with his friends just so you wont be there - this might actually be accidental and you need to make him realise he is doing something which ... (read in full...)
Torn between Joe and Bob!
Q. So there is this guy, I'll call him Bob, he is um bigger... Bob is really sweet and funny, I like him as a friend, I've only hung out with him once (been on vacation the rest of the time, met bob before I left) anyways, I've never been a shallow ...
A. 6 March 2009: I think you need to wait around for Joe. There is no point in being with someone you are not attracted to physically because you will only end up looking else where for someone that is more attractive.
You will only hurt bob more if you lead him... (read in full...)
Evil? or confused?
Q. I've had a bf for 1 year 8 months. We are now on along break due to university work, stress and the relationship becoming more like a friendship. One of my closest friends who i have known for 5 years and spend much of my time doing uni work with ...
A. 6 March 2009: I still think it was a bit of a rebound, when you go out drinking like that and then end up sleeping with someone you know you shouldnt - it is classic rebound really. If it is something you would have never done in normal day to day life then it is ... (read in full...)
She won't have me back and she doesn't want time apart either, so what am I supposed to do?
Q. My gf split with me 4 months ago because she said we don't talk to each other. But we never really stopped seeing each other. We still have nights out together, she stays at my house, we still have sex. Yet when I ask her to be my girlfriend again ...
A. 6 March 2009: Well clearly the two of you cant communicate very well if you are in this situation.
Basically she is using you. She doesnt want to let you go but at the same time she doesnt want the hassle of being in a proper relationship. Stand up to her - te... (read in full...)
Guys seem to hate me, please advise.
Q. i have big problem every single guy i liked has hated me for one reason or another.guys just don,t like me.i find hard to get on with guys.i can be hard on guys but i don,t mean to be.but guy are rotten to me telling me i am not good enough for them ...
A. 6 March 2009: I know I am not a guy but I think I can help you here. First I think you need to read your question and this will show you why you dont have any luck with men - you are so negative about everything!
First of all, I dont like people who moan abo... (read in full...)
How do I keep both women in my life?
Q. I've been in a committed relationship for the past 6+ years with my girlfriend, "Rachel". I love her with all of my heart and I had planned on proposing but something recently has caused me not to. One of my close friends, "Tammy", and I h...
A. 6 March 2009: Still, the answer is no. You have cheated - that is simple. Either you are going to continue hiding this huge nasty seccret from rachel and then your future marriage will be based on lies - or you can be a man and come clean about what you have ... (read in full...)
Besotted...
Q. Hey, so I'm kinda in a pickle. I was once friends with a girl as a little boy, she moved across the planet. I haven't seen or contacted in almost 10 years? except for a brief encounter about a year or so ago where neither of us said anything so ...
A. 6 March 2009: Ignore whoever asked "doesnt besotted mean drunk" - they clearly are not being helpful and have no understanding of the english language.
With regards to your question then I'm afraid to tell you that no, this is not love. It is a big crush, b... (read in full...)
Why does my ex hate me so much?
Q. HELP guys my ex boyfriend and I have stayed friends but since 3 weeks ago we stopped talking because apparently I was spreading stuff about him, anyway I still see him down the pub sometimes with his new girlfriend, but he still stares at me, I ...
A. 6 March 2009: Get the money off him and then move on! This guy has clearly moved on, but you seem to be still clinging on to him. Of course he is going to be different now he has a new girlfriend, this is normal! Would you like it if you were with a guy who was ... (read in full...)
He slept with a few girls after our break up in order to forget me - is it a good idea to get back with him?
Q. I have just moved states, and for that reason me and my boyfriend split up. I am heartbroken, and I know he is too.. But its only been a few weeks, and he has already slept with a few other girls... I'm pretty devo about that, and Told him to st...
A. 6 March 2009: I think vmadman is right, he will of slept with those girls purely because men like sex, there is nothing more to it than that. He definately wont love any of those girls, or want to have a relationship with them.
Its totally up to you whether ... (read in full...)
Should I call him? I want him to take me seriously!
Q. I wrote my ex boyfriend an email telling him exactly what I feel for him and he hasn't responded. The email was basically telling him that I can't be friends with him because im still in love him ( he's married). I just want to know that he's rea...
A. 6 March 2009: Dont call him, dont email again, try not to see him ever again. If you are serious this time that you want to move on and get him out of your life, then delete any form of contact you have with him. Remove his email address, delete his number, take ... (read in full...)
How do I know if its time to end it?
Q. My bf and I have been hitting a few rough patches in our long distance relationship. I have been flirting with the idea of breaking up, but am finding it extremely difficult. Every time I tell him I want to end it, I wish I hadn't. Yet every time I ...
A. 6 March 2009: You need to think about what makes you want to be with him, and then what makes you want to leave him. Make a list and see which comes out on top.
But in my experience, when you try and break up with someone a couple of times it is a sign that som... (read in full...)
How do I keep both women in my life?
Q. I've been in a committed relationship for the past 6+ years with my girlfriend, "Rachel". I love her with all of my heart and I had planned on proposing but something recently has caused me not to. One of my close friends, "Tammy", and I h...
A. 6 March 2009: I cant acutally believe you are asking this. The simple answer is you cannot keep both of them in your life! You have cheated on the woman you love and supposedly want to marry, and you claim to be in love with both of them!
You should come cle... (read in full...)
Help, I might be pregnant!
Q. Ok so ive had sex about 4 times three with condom 1 without. I know it was wrong not to use one but we did anyways im not going to explain why i didnt use one. :What is the chances of me getting pregnant if I didnt go off but he did... :We dont ...
A. 6 March 2009: If you have only had sex once without protection you could be pregnant but the chances are pretty slim, but it is possible you may just be one of the unlucky ones.
Were you trying to get pregnant or was this an accident? It sounds to me like if ... (read in full...)
Evil? or confused?
Q. I've had a bf for 1 year 8 months. We are now on along break due to university work, stress and the relationship becoming more like a friendship. One of my closest friends who i have known for 5 years and spend much of my time doing uni work with ...
A. 4 March 2009: You need to remember that it takes two (+ alcohol in this case!) to do something like this. Now I am not condoning your behaviour as he is in a long term relationship but you were single at the time, so technically you did nothing wrong.
You h... (read in full...)
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