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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Are these signs that he's not interested?
Q. Help! I can't stop thinking about this guy. We started seein each other beginning of january. The last time I saw him was 10 days ago. He lives about an hour away. And since then he only texts back after i do first. I've only talked to him on the ...
A. 27 February 2009: Gosh I cant believe you are aged 36-40, the way you speak is more like a teenager! This all sounds fairly childish - when one person makes more effort than the other it is clear something is not quite right! If he was interested then yes he would ... (read in full...)
Why do some girls want to become porn stars?
Q. why do some girls want to be porn stars .why can't they get office jobs?...
A. 27 February 2009: This sounds like another joke question. But just in case someone actually thinks like this then an answer for you:
Not everyone has to work in an office, some people find office jobs dull. There should be no prejudice held against anyone just bec... (read in full...)
Boyfriend won't sleep in the same bed as me!
Q. My boyfriend won't sleep in the same bed as me! We've been dating for a few months. Things have been moving pretty quickly as far as emotions go. But we have yet to have sex because I'm not ready. He has no problem with waiting. But when he spends ...
A. 27 February 2009: I dont think so, have you asked him why he chooses to sleep on the couch?
Maybe it is because he is worried of getting really turned on by you if he is in the same bed so to respect your wishes he sleeps on the couch?! He probably just doesnt w... (read in full...)
Are women put off by skinny men?
Q. I know everyone has different tastes and personal preferences, but in general, are women put off by skinny men? I'm 22, and while I eat like a horse, I just have never been able to put on any tangible weight, and have virtually little...
A. 27 February 2009: Well personally I love skinny guys, especially tall skinny guys! My last boyfriend was 6" and weighed 154 lbs (around 11 stone!) he was very skinny until we moved in together and I helped him put on a stone!
Believe me, you can put on weight. ... (read in full...)
She's the one. How can I keep her if she's not ready?
Q. hello I'm dating this girl almost 2 month now, before anything happened she had boyfriend for 2 years and they broke up 6 month ago. we got closer and right at the time when i asked her out her ex boyfriend come's up from no where and i think sh...
A. 27 February 2009: Unfortunately there is nothing you can do here apart from accept the situation. She has done the right thing by telling you she is not ready - there is no point in her having a relationship with you if she has not moved on from her ex as she would ... (read in full...)
I have been taking birth control, Can I still be pregnant if I still bleed?
Q. In the past few months, since November, I've been sexually active. I'm on birth control and for the most part, I take it at 10 AM everyday. Sometimes it's 1 or 2 o'clock before I remember it, but I only have sex like one weekend out of the month. ...
A. 27 February 2009: Its highly unlikely that you are pregnant when you have sex so infrequently and take the birth control pill. Even though you do delay slightly in the times you take the pill, as long as you take it within 24 hours of your "usual" time then you are ... (read in full...)
Wearing previous engagement ring
Q. My girlfriend insists on wearing previous engagement rings -- yes, she has a few of them -- when we go out together. When I introduced her to my family, my sister took me aside and asked if I had something to tell her ... of course she drew the ...
A. 26 February 2009: This should be a massive warning sign to you! If she has got engaged a few times, and keeps all of the rings, then she clearly is just getting engaged for the sake of the jewellery!
And i have never heard of a woman who would continue to wear the... (read in full...)
My girlfriend does not wish to make our relationship official, do you see a future for us?
Q. My gf split with me a few months back but now we see each other again. It's all unofficial so we not bf and gf as such, in name only. All of her friends knew we split but none of them know we seeing each other again, and thats how she wants it to ...
A. 26 February 2009: To be honest I dont think you have any future if she continues to behave like this. Like Emilysanswers said, you dont give reasons as to why you broke up in the first place and this would help to help us all understand whats going on here.
But i... (read in full...)
How can I avoid awkward moments?
Q. I guess a little intro is due just to understand better, so here goes.. I just got out of a 3yr relationship about 3 weeks ago. I hadn't been happy with a lot of things but I tried staying in the relationship and make things work, only the problem ...
A. 26 February 2009: Well yes you are right in thinking this as if you want to stay friends and still socialise in the same group of friends then you will be hurting him and it will be akward. He didnt want you to leave hence if he sees you with someone else it will be ... (read in full...)
I don't mind if I become pregnant but my fiance is not sold on the idea
Q. Hi everyone. I wonder if anyone can help me here? My fiance proposed to me at the weekend. That night, we consumated the engagement. We didn't realise, until I felt him cumming inside me, that the condom had split. He uses an ultra-thin make so it ...
A. 26 February 2009: I think Deejuliet has it spot on here, it is probably just too soon for your fiancee but in time I'm sure he will be very excited to have a family with you.
While you say you are financially secure, weddings cost a lot of money! Have the wedding ... (read in full...)
Does this mean I could still be pregnant?
Q. Ok so on february 16th, my boyfriend and i had unprotected sex. On february 18th i took the morning after pill. And now today i just got my period. It is right on schedule, neither early or late. Does this mean that i still might be pregnant...
A. 26 February 2009: I dont think you can be pregnant. You took the morning after pill within 72 hours and you have had a period hence it is highly unlikely you could be pregnant.
But next time dont rely on the morning after pill as contraception! Go to your doctors ... (read in full...)
What do women 'really' want?
Q. I've come to the realisation that when women talk about they want in men, the words cannot be trusted 100% - sure they may be some truth in what they say but not entirely or either not at all. Actions and behaviour prove the opposite. Women ten...
A. 26 February 2009: I think Armymedic is right here, girls dont know what they want until they find it! Which makes it a lot harder for you men I'm afraid!
When women have met someone and are getting married, when asked, how do you know he is the one, they will oft... (read in full...)
Are all women the same?
Q. I am just curious, for those of you (women) out there who are experienced, is there a difference between sizes? If it's small you cant feel much, bigger feels fuller? And if she's loose or tight? Which do you (men) perfer? Are all women about the ...
A. 26 February 2009: Well as a woman I hate to admit this but yes, there is a difference in sizes! If it is very small then it is difficult to feel it hence enjoyment is not so good. But then if it is really large it can hurt - somewhere in between is best! The width ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend at sleepover,may be drinking
Q. My girlfriend and I are 16 and have been going out for just under a year now, we love eachother to bits, had our first time together etc, i couldn't imagine my world without her at the moment. Tody she told me she's going to a sleepover at her ...
A. 26 February 2009: I agree with goldyloxx, you have to let her go and do this. You cannot stop her from living her life and not everyone that drinks turns into an addict.
If she has never even tasted alcohol before I imagine she wont like the taste very much as ... (read in full...)
Ex-girlfriend problems
Q. My girlfriend of 3 years recently broke up with me. To give some background on the situation...We both are from and went to school in NYC (and both plan on staying there). She is still a senior and I graduated from college last year. For this year, ...
A. 26 February 2009: Once again it seems a genuine guy is being played by a silly little girl who has no idea what she wants. I think this site needs to set up a whole new category for these questions I'm seeing that many of them.
I will tell you the same as I have t... (read in full...)
What do the dating titles mean?
Q. I'm confused about the terms in dating. What does "friends geting to know each other" mean? What does "talking" mean? what does "dating" mean? What does a relationship mean? If you go off with someone for the the weekend are you considered dating? ...
A. 26 February 2009: Well from my understanding of the american dating scene (it is very different here in the UK), the terms you mentioned mean the following:
- friends getting to know each other: this is literally how it sounds. You are getting to know that pers... (read in full...)
It hurts so much to have sex, I think I'm just too small
Q. ok so im a virgin and have been with my non virgin boyfriend for a while now. i want to give him my virginity and we have tried having sex FIVE times now and have yet to make it work. im am a rather short girl and weigh 103 therefore im s...
A. 25 February 2009: Well if it is 11 inches like you say, then there is not much you can do I'm afraid. If you are a virgin then the area down there will not be stretched at all so the only way to do this will be to actually have sex a few times (quite a few times with ... (read in full...)
Our personalities are so different and we are now broken up but I still love him
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for nearly a year and a halve and we have always argued as have our personalities. I met him when i wasn't very confident but a few years later i developed my confidence which led to me actually asking him out. I had ...
A. 25 February 2009: You are very young and your relationship is a clear reflection of the immaturity in both of you. When you are on and off again like the two of you are, this is a sign that it is a childish relationship and that unfortunately you will not last long ... (read in full...)
Not sure what to think
Q. I started seeing a guy about 5 months ago. He is 49 and I am 42. After about 4 months of dating, we decided to move in together. We really seem to communicate and get along very well. We have alot of fun together.Our sex life is very good. The ot...
A. 25 February 2009: I think you may be over-reacting to this. Firstly he only had oral sex with these men so you are unlikely to get any STD's from him, however if you have been having unprotected sex then it is worth getting tested.
Secondly; you did the right th... (read in full...)
His university course is taking my place! How do I compromise some "us time" ?
Q. Feb 09 My boyfriend and I have been going out for 9 or 10 months but were the best of friends for four or so years prior to me 'making my move'. We just finished high school in november so had seen each other at LEAST 6 days a week, every week...
A. 25 February 2009: The problem here is that you have nothing else to do other than wait around until you can see him. The easy way for you to solve this is to get out there and start living your life again without him!
Yes he is your boyfriend and you dont need to ... (read in full...)
Frienship or more going on?
Q. i have this co worker that i have a thing for. i love his personality and i love how he is alway making me laugh. i know he is shy but can u help me try and figure him out? while we are at work i feel like at times he trys to avoid me and sometime...
A. 25 February 2009: Well to me it sounds like he is interested but is too shy/worried to make the next move. I imagine his main concern is dating someone he works with as this causes all sorts of hassle and problems.
But all the texts he sends you, especial... (read in full...)
I found out my girlfriend had cheated in the past and is lying to me too....Can I trust this girl?
Q. My question is similar to one I've read, but I want to post the question for myself. I'm in a relationship where the trust has been damaged, I've been lied to a few times. Each of these lies had a "purpose", or some kind of plausible reason...
A. 25 February 2009: Well I think you are right here, there is no need for her to lie about it if there is nothing going on. So going by this rule there must be something going on she does not want you to know about? Is this guy an ex boyfriend? If so she may still have ... (read in full...)
I found out my girlfriend had cheated in the past and is lying to me too....Can I trust this girl?
Q. My question is similar to one I've read, but I want to post the question for myself. I'm in a relationship where the trust has been damaged, I've been lied to a few times. Each of these lies had a "purpose", or some kind of plausible reason...
A. 25 February 2009: After that very long question you still do not say what she has lied to you about? This would really help so I could give you a better answer.
With regards to the "unconditional love" - this is not possible between a man and a woman/bo... (read in full...)
Is it logical to assume someone can do a 180 transformation on how they control their temper and resolve issues?
Q. A few months ago I met a girl via the internet. We talked quite a bit and found a very good connection from the get go. After about a month and change I took a trip to meet here. Overall things were great. Sex, chemistry, time spent together. I ...
A. 25 February 2009: She wont change I'm afraid, no-one with these qualities can ever get rid of them fully. She may be able to tone them down slightly but never get ris of them.
She actually sounds a little like me (I have quite a few qualities that you have desribed... (read in full...)
No label to my status?
Q. i've been seeing this guy that i've liked for 3 years for the past six weeks, and when we first kissed i asked where we would go from there and he said we should just go with the flow! and evertime i say i'm going to say something to him as to where ...
A. 24 February 2009: I guess this will be hard for you seen as you have liked him for the past 3 years so you will be needing to define your relationship more than he needs to right now.
But if you really like him then you need to "go with the flow" as he says oth... (read in full...)
Please someone tell me am I going bonkers and reading far too much into this or is she really sniffing round him cos she fancies him...?
Q. I don't know where to begin! I had been with my partner for 12 years. We fell out and were both too stubborn to make up. We sold out house and went our seperate ways. Before this I tried to reconcile but he didnt want to know. He had started going ...
A. 24 February 2009: I agree with Honeypie, you are not together anymore therefore you do not have any say in who he spends his time with.
However you do have a say in who he spends his time with while he is with your son - I can understand that you dont want your son... (read in full...)
I really want this girl but I can't see anything coming of it
Q. I never realized how much power a single girl can hold over me. I fell very hard for a girl back in 2004, and to date, I cannot get her out of my mind. She's everything a guy would want: absolute natural beauty, intellect, shy personality. What's ...
A. 24 February 2009: It sounds to me like you have a major infatuation with this girl but you are definately not in love with her! You have said it yourself, you dont know anything about her on a deeper level. You can only be in love with someone if you know every ... (read in full...)
Is she going to leave me?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend now for 1 month shes 16 and Im 19. I love her and I can see us spending a long time togehter but Im afraid that she is going to leave me someday to be curious. She is young and I am her first real boyfriend. And Im ...
A. 24 February 2009: You entered into this relationship knowing she is only young hence you should expect this behaviour. At least she is mature enought to admit that she is still young and she cant trust herself - that takes a lot at her age to be so honest.
She i... (read in full...)
I love 2 men and I'm exhausted
Q. Help! I'm ashamed to ask for help on this topic, but I'm in desperate need for some advise. I've dated 2 men off and on for a few years now and I need to decide who I should be with. Both men are very good to me. They love me so much and they would ...
A. 24 February 2009: You will know in your heart which guy is the right one for you - and if you dont, then neither of these guys are right for you!
while everyone has their faults, you should have found in one of them all that you want from a man. If you still wi... (read in full...)
I love talking to my ex but this makes it more difficult to move on, should I cut all contact?
Q. My girlfriend broke up with me a few months ago. She lead me on and kept saying i love you and how much she missed me following the break up. About a month ago she gave me final closure and said she wouldn't contact me because she didn't want ...
A. 23 February 2009: You need one last talk with her - lay it all down on the line. You need to tell her that you love her and dont want to be without her. That you know you work so well together and you believe the relationship can work.
If she decides to give it ... (read in full...)
Partner kept nude pictures of a one night stand, I'm not sure what to make of it all!
Q. Hi:) My dilemma is a bit complicated but here goes! I was on my partner's PC looking for pics of a family holiday we had recently had. While looking for the folder they were in I came across a folder full of poetry and short stories he had written. ...
A. 23 February 2009: I can understand why he may have written the poetry and none about you - generally the best poems come when you are young and full of angst, or when there has been heartbreak and pain. So if he is happy with you then there may have been nothing for ... (read in full...)
What are the tests that can be done to check for all STD's?
Q. I was wondering what you would have to do in case of an STD to check a guy for all possible diseases. Is the urethral swab (I think that's what it's called) or a blood test the only way of thoroughly checking, or will a urine test or a less ...
A. 23 February 2009: An STD test (one done at a proper clinic) will do a swab and blood test. You can specify what you want to test for if you think you have certain symptons however if you want them to check for all STD's then they will have to do both parts of the ... (read in full...)
Could I get pregnant after a late pill?
Q. Hi,im a bit worried.Im on the pill but i went for 24hrs without taking it.could i be pregnant? i took it about 2pm saturday and then 00.20am monday.I had sex at the weekend.My period is due this friday and i have only one more pill out of my pack to ...
A. 23 February 2009: There is a tiny tiny chance that you could be pregnant. But the pill is pretty strong and doesnt leave your system for a few months let alone days so you should be covered.
Just wait for your period to arrive and if it gets to a week late and it s... (read in full...)
How should I tell my partner that I want to have kids?
Q. ive been with my partner now for over a year and im 21 and hes 22 i wanna have a child but i dont know how to tell him; he has already got a 3 year old from a previous relationship and hes a good dad but he could also have another one which is a few ...
A. 22 February 2009: You are so young and dont need to have children now! 24 is still very young to have kids - medically you are only classed as old to have children when you are around 28. I understand your fear of being an old mum as it is nice to be able to have the ... (read in full...)
How do I admit that I love her?
Q. hi need help with a girl i like, i meen i can hook up other people but i am to nervise to tell her that i love her, and all i have told her that i like her and i don't think she know's that i truely love her.how do i tell her?????????? ...
A. 21 February 2009: I dont think you can show her or tell her you truly love her because you are too young. I know this isnt what you want to hear but you wont find out what true love is until you are much much older, at least for another 5 or 6 years, maybe even ... (read in full...)
Is it possible I could get pregnant if only on the pill for four days?
Q. Hi, I'm really worried, I've just started having unprotected sex with my boyfriend but don't worry, we haven't been stupid and I'm on the pill... but the first time we did I was only on the pill for four days! We looked it up but it said there was ...
A. 21 February 2009: If you only did it for about 5 minutes then I really wouldnt worry about it - the chance if you getting pregnant without him actually ejaculating inside you are pretty low, especially when you have been taking the pill.
For the first 7 days you... (read in full...)
An eating disorder or is it all in my mind?
Q. hiyyahhh i think i might have an eating dissorder because i dont like to eat and feel sick when i do and want to make myself sick i've told my mam and she said its in my head and the doctors carnt find nothing wrong. whats wrong with me? is it in my...
A. 20 February 2009: Well technically it is not an eating disorder until you actually make yourself sick after eating. The typical behaviour of a bullimic is to binge (eat a huge amount of food) and then out of disgust for their actions they will purge after eating ... (read in full...)
How can I decide what the truth is here?
Q. I recently heard rumours about my husband cheated on me, a year ago! The girl in the rumour would be one person that I would not doubt he slept with, because they worked together and she was bold enough to tell him she would sleep with him, married ...
A. 20 February 2009: In my opinion he has got away with it in the past and knows he can get away with it again. While I dont believe that "once a cheat, always a cheat" is true because people can change when they really want to. But in this case, that saying sounds ... (read in full...)
I just want to end our friendship!
Q. My best friend is a guy. We met almost two years ago. When we met, we started out dating each other - going out, seeing each other, having sex, etc. After about a month, he never mentioned anything about a relationship so I asked him how he felt ...
A. 20 February 2009: I think from the sounds of it this guy is very screwed up from his last relationship and has so many issues that he really needs to talk to someone about (i.e. a professional!). If he is not seeing a therapist then he will only keep on trying to ... (read in full...)
Would you take this as a sexual advance? Or is it a joke?
Q. If your husband forwarded an email to another woman (work colleague) called 'Track your partner. Careful!!' which shows a google earth type thing which gradually homes in on your postcode and shows two people in the back garden sh*gging, would you ...
A. 20 February 2009: Well I would see that as a joke; at the moment there are a number of joke "partner tracker" software packages that are going around for mobile phones and computers - it isnt real it is just meant to be a joke.
But the fact that you are constant... (read in full...)
We met online, he says he wants to have sex and then marry me in 3 years, do I believe him?
Q. me and this guy met on orkut (Social networking and discussion site )and we have been knowin each other by communicating by phone since last year..havent seen each other bfore.. he says he likes me and i also like him..he says he love me 60% but as f...
A. 20 February 2009: It sounds to me if he has said he wants to have sex first then that is all he is after I'm afraid. The first time you meet should be special and you should just spend some time getting to know each other face to face before you jump into bed!
... (read in full...)
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