A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So there is this guy, I'll call him Bob, he is um bigger... Bob is really sweet and funny, I like him as a friend, I've only hung out with him once (been on vacation the rest of the time, met bob before I left) anyways, I've never been a shallow person before, and I feel bad saying this but I'm just not physically attracted to Bob. I met one of bob's best friends last year, I'll call him Joe, and I liked him right from the beginning, Joe and I had a lot in common he made me laugh, and he was just as sweet and nice. Best thing of all was Joe was very cute. Looks aren't everything, I know I know, but Joe has told me he is not ready for a relationship at the moment, I said I would wait for Joe, but this might mean years, I like Joe a lot, but if I'm waiting for nothing I don't want to waste my time... Back to bob, I think the only thing holding me back is the fact that Bob is fat. I don't have a problem with that, but I just don't think he takes very good care of himself, if we were together in the future I don't think I could handle health problems that Bob might face. I'm usually behind my bf's health problems 150% but I dunno, Bob is just different. I like Joe a lot like a lot a lot, and Bob likes me so much, but I don't know what to do. Because if I go for Bob, will I regret it, or even worse will I hurt Joe? What if Joe likes me, and wants a future together but just doesn't know how to express it. He says it's a possibility but I don't know what to do, please help.
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female
reader, Annieapple  +, writes (6 March 2009):
I don't think you should go for either of them.
You don't fancy Bob and Joe doesn't want a relationship with you.
Find someone that you like that wants to be with you.
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (6 March 2009):
 I think you need to wait around for Joe. There is no point in being with someone you are not attracted to physically because you will only end up looking else where for someone that is more attractive.
You will only hurt bob more if you lead him along, so just be honest with him that you think of him as a friend and nothing more. He will be ok with it, it is better to do it now than hurt him more in the future.
And as for Joe, while you cant wait forever, he has said there is a chance so I would take that chance as it sounds like you really like him. Try and spend more time with him just hanging out, and then he will hopefully see how amazing you are and want you as his girlfriend! If not, well at least you have always got Joe as a friend.
But dont settle for someone you are not 100% sure about, believe me I have done this before and it always ends badly as you will realise somewhere in the future that you want more than he can give you.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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