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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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My gay b/f says he has always seen his future as being with a woman?
Q. Hey I have a problem and I really need help. I have a boyfriend that is Bi.(I am gay by the way.) We have been together for little over one year. We are having a little issue with commitment. He tells me that he loves me, but he isn't sure if he can ...
A. 16 March 2009: I think it probably a commitment thing, and partially a social thing too. I bet he is wanting to please his family hence marrying a woman will seem like the right thing to do, and I imagine having a child of his own is also something he is ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to stay home alone?
Q. I need help, I have got myself into a rut since my good friend went to uni in september. I have become a loner I don't like going anywhere alone so I stay in my house all day(on my days of from college) I feel so sad because I want to do things but ...
A. 16 March 2009: Of course it is ok to stay home alone, it is actually a good thing if you are comfortable enough with your own company to be alone from time to time.
However it isnt ok when all you do is spend time alone because you dont have any friends to spend... (read in full...)
I'm still in love with my ex. Help!
Q. my EX asked if I have a Boyfriend and I said no cos I don't and I don't want one right now cos am still inlove with my EX but he doesn't know.. haha.anways when I told him no I don't have a BF.. he siad I was lying cos how can a good looking ...
A. 16 March 2009: Basically he doesnt mean anything by this. He has a new girlfriend and he has moved on - you should too.
My ex is similar but I have at least figured out what he is up to! My ex has been dating a variety of women since we split up 3 years ago but ... (read in full...)
I think she wants the best of both worlds (the single life AND a relationship). Help!
Q. To give some information on things, me and my gf have been together for about 8 months now and we live about an hour away from eachother. She has a lot of guy friends, and I have some girls that are friends too. Things have been going really well ...
A. 16 March 2009: I think you are right in not wanting her to stay the night when it is just the two of them. But she is also right in her thinking that you are being unreasonable, because in her eyes she has done it before, she has been friends with them for years ... (read in full...)
Dont know what to do!!!
Q. I am 17 years old. My bestfriend and I dated for about 6 months, but we've known each other for about 3 years. Well we broke up, but now were just bestfriends again. Well anyways, her ex that she dated for a year, and lost her virginity to is stil...
A. 16 March 2009: This sounds like such a mess and the only one having a good time is your ex and so called best friend! You need to see she is playing both of you - she gets to have sex with you and be intimate etc, and your still her best friend, and then she also ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be curious at 14?
Q. I feel so dirty. I find myself looking at porn or toys and playing with myself. Is it normal to be curious at 14? How do I stop myself doing it again? I want to stop cos I know it's wrong but when I'm feeling down or horny I find myself doing it ...
A. 16 March 2009: It is totally normal and you should not feel guilty about this, as a teenager you are still learning about your body and your sexuality so it is common to do these sorts of things as a learning experience to find out what you like.
I imagine ... (read in full...)
What should I do about my ex???
Q. My ex and I broke up around five months ago. We had a great 2.5 year relationship with few problems, we're both 21. we broke up because he was going overseas for two months with 3 of his single friends and i was getting paranoid, threatening to ...
A. 16 March 2009: You make it sound like he left you forever! In reality, you ended your relationship with him because he was going travelling with some friends. So the problem was that you didnt trust him in the first place, never mind whether or not you can trust ... (read in full...)
Should I tell her parents my intent to marry her?
Q. Hi this is my first time to this site and I need some insight on my relationship. I have been dating my younder girl friend for 9 months now (she is 24) I am 39, I am a divorced father of 1. I started dating her before my divorce was final , alth...
A. 16 March 2009: I think emilysanswers is right on this one, it is a little too soon to be proposing and getting married. So if you do propose as you have planned, then this will be another thing to turn her parents even more against you! Why are you in such a rush ... (read in full...)
My online guy is all giddy about seeing his ex and seems to care less about me, is this strange?
Q. Hi all, I've met a wonderful guy over the net during July of last year, we haven't met yet. Everything was fine and good, then his ex came into the picture saying she's visiting. She says she wants to hook up with him, and doesn't care what pos...
A. 16 March 2009: He clearly still has strong feelings for the ex so while she is still in the picture you dont have a chance I'm afraid. If he was serious about you then he would not want to upset you; hence he would not be meeting up with his ex.
I think you may ... (read in full...)
Did I find my soulmate?
Q. So... a few things... I am an attractive guy, one night stands never did it for me so after the few that I had, I stopped them. I can't stand girls who do have them a lot. I met this girl.. and she is the sweetest thing on earth, we are madly ...
A. 16 March 2009: It is quite normal for women to have more sexual partners than men and still they are not sluts. In my case, I am only 21 but I have slept with 16 guys, only one of which was a one night stand. This isnt because I sleep around or anything like that, ... (read in full...)
He's already got 4 kids, but I want a child of my own
Q. So I've been in a relationship with a 35 year old man for over a year. He has 4 kids from a previous relationship, but I love him with all my heart. Being that I'm only 19 years old. I want a family of my own, but I've been having a strange feeling ...
A. 15 March 2009: Have you spoken to him about having children together? You must understand that when you have a baby, no matter how many other children you have, you will still love that child unconditionally because you made that life, they are part of you. So if ... (read in full...)
How can we convince her parents that she is ready to get married?
Q. Hi, I'm 19 and my girlfriend is 18. We have been dating since we were 16 and know that we will be together for the rest of our lives. We want to get married this summer but I don't think her parents will approve of it. We are moving into our ...
A. 15 March 2009: I hope you do listen to everyone on here, you are too yong to be getting married and having a baby, and her parents are right to have these concerns.
Moving in together is a good thing for you both to do if you want to take the relation... (read in full...)
My husband went to male prostitutes "to talk"! Should I forgive him?
Q. I'm writing in with a problem that I can't get my head round. My husband admitted to me last night that'd he'd been going to male prostitutes for the past few weeks - in fact, the past 6 weeks. Now I know why our sex life was so lacklustre (...
A. 13 March 2009: I think if he has lied to you about being "tired from work" the he is lying about going to male prostitutes to "talk". If he wanted to pay someone money to talk about his problems he would have been going to a therapist not a male prostitute.
... (read in full...)
Why does my ex want to be my friend?
Q. I can't grasp the rationale behind why my ex would want to be my friend? And I've heard the stories about the using and the control and the not wanting me to be with other people, but seriously, and I'm asking women this more than men I think, what ...
A. 13 March 2009: In my experience a lot of girls keep their ex's in their lives as so called friends to basically keep them as a back-up option in case things go wrong with their new partner or because they still have feelings for their ex. Girls dont like to let go ... (read in full...)
I don't want my boyfriend to get bored of me.
Q. I really don't want my boyfriend to get bored of me. We've been seeing each other for a few months, and we have sex on a regular basis, but I refuse to give or receive oral sex. I don't know why, but it really is a big turn off for me, and ther...
A. 13 March 2009: I think you need to listen to your boyfriend on this one, he is right in saying the relationship is about you both rather than just sex. Sex is an added bonus part to the relationship!
Sex shouldnt get boring, not many men will complain if they ... (read in full...)
My ex is gay and he is going through a difficult time. Should I help him?
Q. Hi Need some advice I found out (because i was being nosey and looking where I shouldn't have been) that my ex the father of my child is gay. He has been seeing someone for 2 yrs and I didn't know! Our child spends time with them both and constan...
A. 13 March 2009: Well in answer to your questions, then yes he probably always has been gay but if he is the father of your child then it seems he has only accepted it recently or admitted to himself that he is gay. Or maybe at the time he was with you he was ... (read in full...)
Cool or more forward?
Q. theres this guy who i like and i know he likes me to a point but because weve been to the cinema and he mentioned going out again a few nights ago. But we never see each other in real life because we never bump into each other or have mutal fr...
A. 13 March 2009: He sounds like a bit of a player to me, if he is the same age as you then I bet he is enjoying all the female attention and does not want to commit to one particular girl.
I think you might be wasting your time on him, unless he makes it clear to... (read in full...)
I don't even want to hug my husband..let alone sleep with him!
Q. I never thought this would happen to me but I really don't like my husband anymore. We've been together for 10 years, since we were 18, and married for 3 years. No kids and both aged 28. I always thought we were so great together - a perfect fit....
A. 13 March 2009: Well it sounds to me like you realised how indecisive he was before you got married seen as you had to propose yourself and then wait 2 years for him to be ready! So what I'm trying to say is that you knew what you were letting yourself in for, so ... (read in full...)
Best friend's ex keeps contacting me
Q. Recently, my best friend brokeup with her girl friend. Even though when they were lovers i was in good terms with the girl. But when they brokeup, she started calling me frequently on phone to visit her and that i should buy something for her when ...
A. 13 March 2009: Dont go to see her, it is not worth risking your friendship for. She is probably looking for a re-bound after she has split up with your friend, she will only be using you.
Girls often get very insecure after a break-up and require male attentio... (read in full...)
Depressed after breaking up
Q. I had a few problems with my girlfriend of 2 years. We couldnt get over some things that happened in the past, and hence, split up. In the months leading up to our breakup, I was feeling more and more confident that splitting up was the right th...
A. 13 March 2009: It seems to me that when you were in your relationship you allowed your girlfriend to become your "world" and everything you did probably included her in some way. So now you are alone, you have no idea how to cope or any ideas of what to do with ... (read in full...)
B/f went on spring break without me!
Q. ok so i need some advice....my bf and i was to go out of town for spring break however at the last minute i wasn't able to go so i told him that. i would assume he wouldnt want to go because i wasnt and would want to spend time with me, but no he ...
A. 13 March 2009: I'm afraid you are overeacting here, if your boyfriend had been looking forward to it for ages then why should he have to give up his plans just because you couldnt make it?
It is a shame that you cant go together but you cant expect him to do ev... (read in full...)
How to cope with breakup when living together?
Q. I am going through a very rough time dealing with a break up. I've been with this girl for 3 years. She is the love of my life. I could imagine being with her forever. There is something so special about her that I can't imagine finding in another ...
A. 13 March 2009: You should let her keep the gifts, you have no use for them and they wont be worth much money now anyway. I dont think she would expect you to give her back all the gifts she has bought for you so just leave them with her. I would take the diamond ... (read in full...)
I am dating my best friends ex-fiancee. Should I tell her?
Q. Hi guys and gals. I moved down to London around six months ago because I found a good job. I left my best friend up in Manchester. About three months ago, I ran in to my best friend's fiance here in London. I knew that they had broken up since my ...
A. 12 March 2009: Well if he wants to keep it quiet then that is a bit of a warning sign; clearly he does not want her to know about the two of you. This either means he only wants you for sex and a general good time, or he still has feelings for her. Either way, not ... (read in full...)
Unintentional kiss with actor threatening to ruin my relationship with my boyfriend
Q. First off, far fetched though this may sound, I swear to god it's for real. I really, really need help with this, and I can't turn to anyone I know for advice. I have, completely unintentionally got myself into a relationship of sorts with a man...
A. 12 March 2009: Just come clean with your boyfriend and family; he was the one that tried to kiss you not the other way round. leave out the bit where you didnt pull away immediately (it is best just to say you left as soon as he did this). Your boyfriend cant be ... (read in full...)
I feel cheated when my wife discovered anal sex from porn channel
Q. For the past couple of months, my wife and I have been having a lot of sex. I mean a lot! I'm taking five or six nights a week. I'm not complaining about it by any means. I'm happy that the spark is still there but I did wonder where she had got the ...
A. 12 March 2009: Do you know why your wife did not tell you about it? Because she was afraid you would react like this! You are overreacting to this situation and you should not punish your wife for exploring her sexuality.
Put this into perspective, she did not ... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish that I want something?
Q. hi everyone. the problem i have is about my girlfriend and me. we have alot in common but its like we completely have different humor and were usually silent when we walk home together. shes really shy about letting her feelings out but i know ther...
A. 12 March 2009: I think you are just confused about what you want. On one hand you want your girlfriend to be more loving and express her emotions more freely. But then on the other hand you want a close friend/true friend that will listen to you.
So you need to ... (read in full...)
How to cope with breakup when living together?
Q. I am going through a very rough time dealing with a break up. I've been with this girl for 3 years. She is the love of my life. I could imagine being with her forever. There is something so special about her that I can't imagine finding in another ...
A. 12 March 2009: I know how you are feeling here, I am living with my ex at the moment becuase our lease doesnt end until mid-June, and neither of us can afford to leave the contract early. And we split up over a month ago, it is still not getting easier!
It wo... (read in full...)
Do relationships where people are young work out?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for over five months now. We're both first year college students, and we met pretty coincidentally. We realized that we liked each other from the very start and started going out. Although we had some ...
A. 12 March 2009: It sounds like you are both being really sensible about this so that is good news, you dont sound completely disillusioned nor do you sound totally pessimistic.
It all depends on where life leads you as to whether or not you stay together - you ar... (read in full...)
Could she be waiting for me to say something?
Q. Hi folks, I've been racking my brain over this and I can't make my mind up so hopefully some of you may be able to help me. My best friend is a woman, she is the same age as me (27). We are always going out for drinks, the cinema, something to eat...
A. 12 March 2009: I think if she is sleeping in the same bed then that is a sure sign that she likes you more than a friend! I think she probably is thinking the same way as you - she will have developed stronger feelings for you after that time when you slept ... (read in full...)
I fell in love with my soulmate but it's a friend of my wife...
Q. Hello, Let me just come right out and say it, I fell in love with one of my wife's friends. Yes, I'm sure I will get bashed here but it wasn't something I planned on doing. I have known this person for 7 YEARS and always found myself with her even ...
A. 12 March 2009: Kids are actually fairly resillient, they will be ok with this in time. If the situation at home with your wife is that bad, this will actually be worse for your kids than if you left.
You will always be dad to your kids, and they will love you... (read in full...)
My g/f went ballistic seeing that I had my ex as a friend on an Internet profile!
Q. About a year and a half ago I ended a relationship with an ex amicably after we both went separate directions in our lives. It was a relationship where we both knew it had a limited life, as she went abroad for a long period and I moved to continue ...
A. 11 March 2009: Some girls are just very insecure about their boyfriends ex's (I have a couple of friends like this!). There is not a lot you can do unfortunately. I think it is something to do with the thought that someone else has been with you, that has done all ... (read in full...)
We broke up because I found out he already had a g/f, now he promises me he will soon be only mine, do I take him back?
Q. please help me... im completely devastated, but im sure you get a few of us... i was seeing a guy. which i only lately found out that he had a gf of 8 yrs, and then he explained to me that he wanted to leave her but couldnt in his attempts cause she ...
A. 11 March 2009: Run away from him as fast as you can in my opinion! He has been with her 8 years, if he wanted to leave he would have done by now regardless of her threats.
That is a lame excuse for him to use, many men (and women) have used that one when in ... (read in full...)
I have chlamydia. How do I tell my boyfriend?
Q. I feel physically ill right now, I just had a medication abortion last week. I got pregnant by my boyfriend of 3 years and we knew we couldn't support a baby. I was off of birth control for only one month when I got pregnant. While I was at Plan...
A. 11 March 2009: First things first you have to tell him, he needs to get treated and if he doesnt, he will only end up passing it back to you if you sleep together again.
You shouldnt feel bad that you slept with that other guy whilst you were broken up, yes it w... (read in full...)
He said he wants a relationship, but is he using me?
Q. i have jst met someone and he said he wants to start a relasionship with me but i havent heard from him since he left on sunday. he is in a open prison so i understand that contact is limited but he was seen in a car on tuesday. ive tryed to phone...
A. 11 March 2009: Wait until he gets out of prison, even if that is in a few months times, because you cannot have a real relationship when someone is in prison.
I cant say if he is using you as you have not given enough detail, just give him time and see if he do... (read in full...)
Should he quit smoking so his sperm can get healthier?
Q. Dear whomever, I'm 18 years old and me and my boyfriend has been together for 1year and 2months and we have been trying to get pregnant since we was together for 6 months.....the only thing about is we haven't gotten pregnant... he smokes weed a l...
A. 11 March 2009: Are you totally sure you are ready for a baby aged 18? You are not married yet so you are not bringing a child into a stable family! And I can tell you this for certain, if your boyfriend is irresponsible enough to do drugs (weed is a drug, a ... (read in full...)
Should he quit smoking so his sperm can get healthier?
Q. Dear whomever, I'm 18 years old and me and my boyfriend has been together for 1year and 2months and we have been trying to get pregnant since we was together for 6 months.....the only thing about is we haven't gotten pregnant... he smokes weed a l...
A. 11 March 2009: Are you totally sure you are ready for a baby aged 18? You are not married yet so you are not bringing a child into a stable family! And I can tell you this for certain, if your boyfriend is irresponsible enough to do drugs (weed is a drug, a ... (read in full...)
14 yo and in love, but I don't know his name
Q. I saw one guy in the hospital when i went to visit my dad in the hospital.. he was hospitalized too. his bed is just nearby my dad's bed. he's pretty handsome i think :))) i realized that he is looking at me when i suddenly wanted to turn over a...
A. 11 March 2009: Once again, another post by another teenager who thinks they are in love! It cannot be true love because you never spoke to the guy, you had a crush on him and that is it.
If your dad has been discharged now then there is nothing more you can do, ... (read in full...)
I am 12 yo and I am heartbroken. Please help me
Q. hello. i know what you are going to say when i tell you this but please, try and understand. im a 12 year old girl and a year ago i had a bf and we lasted 8 months, like a proper relationship. we were going on this school residential trip...
A. 11 March 2009: If you are wanting a kind answer then you should not have lied about your age at the top of your question (I know you have wrote you are 12 but when you signed up to this you put in a different age so now when I view your question it says 22-25). ... (read in full...)
Can I get pregnant from sperm in the mouth?
Q. Well im a little nervous. I usually have a 29 day cycle, ive had it for 4 months now. my last period was Febuary 8 2009. I had oral sex with my boyfriend last feb 26, 3 days after my calculated ovulation time of feb 23. Now im around 3 days la...
A. 11 March 2009: You absolutely cannot get pregnant from having his sperm in your mouth, this is just crazy! Sperm has to travel from your vagina into your womb and sometimes up into the fallopian tubes to fertilise the egg. If you swallow sperm, this goes into your ... (read in full...)
Should I return my big sister's love
Q. hi, im kinda falling for my sister and i want to know if its alright to return the same love to her. im 18 and shes 20. we always hang out alot, tease each other, and support each other. when I was younger, i never really had any friends, i was ...
A. 11 March 2009: I'm sorry but no, this is not ok. It is illegal to have a relationship with your brother/sister and you could both go to jail for this.
You can only be friends and love each other as brother and sister, nothing more. I suggest you distance... (read in full...)
Is seeing the ex necessary for closure?
Q. Hi everyone, thanks for reading! So about 9 months ago, my now ex boyfriend and I broke up. We were together for 3 years and I have never felt that way about anyone else before. Things went bad down the line because he did not want a relati...
A. 11 March 2009: By not meeting up with him, your ex will get the point and realise it is over. If you go see him then you will only make him think there is a chance for you two, and it will make him think that you still have feelings for him.
Dont go to see him,... (read in full...)
I fell in love with my soulmate but it's a friend of my wife...
Q. Hello, Let me just come right out and say it, I fell in love with one of my wife's friends. Yes, I'm sure I will get bashed here but it wasn't something I planned on doing. I have known this person for 7 YEARS and always found myself with her even ...
A. 16 February 2009: From the way you talk about your relationship with your wife it sounds like it is already over? And by calling the other woman your girlfriend it sounds to me like you are already committed to her and not your wife, so I dont really see the problem ... (read in full...)
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