A
male
age
51-59,
*crubs
writes:Hi all, I recently had one of the best nights with a woman I have ever had, at least that was my interpretation of the night when under the influence of alcohol. After a few days of coming to terms with what actually happened that night, I can see that I really screwed up and I dont know how to fix it. Background. Well, it was a very busy week for me, I had travelled to a few different locations and had not been to bed before midnight any night that week, Thursday and Friday night were big night, not getting back my my hotel until the early hours. I Saturday I travelled back home, dead tired, and I had a party to go to that night. I almost didn't go because I was so tired, but I did because I figured I was being a baby for not going. The night.I saw a woman that I had met previously and started talking to her. She had no memory of me before, but that's okay. We chatted a few times, and in the early hours of the morning the discussion started to get a little political. Already I was attracted to her, but listening to her passion won me over completely. My only thought became, I need to kiss this woman now!By about 4am, we were alone (finally!), and it was on.We had talked about leaving and going back to either my place or her place, but by 6am we were off to a new venue to continue our passionate acts. We end up back at my place. I was motivated to get to my place because my place is nice, and I wanted to impress her, plus, for the first time that week, I wanted to sleep in my bed.There was a comic moment when we had lost each other in the large house that we were in, and another moment of intense passion when we found each other again. I remember the phrase 'dont do that again' being repeated, meaning, let's not loose each other again like that, and I cant remember if it was me or her that was saying that. My first mistake was being so damn tired, my second was failing to acknowledge her when she said that 'she wanted to see her cat back at her place'.Because after about 30 minutes of kissing at my place, I fell asleep. Now, you have to understand that I was with a goddess that needed sex, again, and I fell asleep - I am so pissed off with myself.During the 30 minutes of kissing and foreplay, I made my third mistake by telling her how gorgeous she was. In that moment, I was totally blinded by her beauty, I was hers, 100%, and I am concerned that I may have appeared too affectionate or needy or whatever by saying that.She let me know that she was pissed off at me ( for falling asleep ) by slamming the toilet door, and in my complete ignorance thought, 'oh, there must be a wind blowing'.To my goddess's credit, me being asleep did not phase her, and she promptly woke me up in the most erotic way, where I had one of the most amazing sexual experiences of my life. Now, this brings me to my third mistake, I think I was very vocal when I came, I'm not sure how loud I was, but I do know that I wasn't quiet. My fourth mistake was after sex. She exerted a lot of energy in that last encouter and needed to sleep, but I was suddenly awake (yes, strange for a guy I know). I brushed the hair from her face, and kissed her, in the most affectionate way I knew how. I also mentioned something she told me about her ex-husband. After the event I was just a partipant in, I could not believe that her husband did what he did.She quite cutely says to me that she now needed sleep, I say okay, roll over and try to sleep. After a few minutes, she gets back up again, and goes into the lounge room. I have a panic because I remember I left some confidential docs in there from my trip around the country that week and wanted to check that they were saftely stored, I race up and my concerns were un-founded, because I had stored them safely. I ask her if she wanted some water, she says no, and tells me that she is leaving. I say no, I'll drive her home, but she walks out. I wasn't too concerned because I knew that she lived around the corner, and I also knew that she wanted to see her cat, this was probably about 8 am.I go to work after about an hours sleep on Sunday, and I eventually catch up with her again about 6 pm that day. I really didn't see her leaving as an escape, but after talking to her I discover that it was an escape. She tells me that she couldn't handle it anymore - and I think, couldn't handle what ?I really though about it, and I think she couldn't handle 1) The level of affection from 2) The fact that I feel asleep on her3) The fact that she thought I was checking up on her in the morning and really I was checking my own papers. I want to write her a love letter and let her know how much I feel for her, but I think that I will make a complete fool of myself. I dont know her exact address, I SMS'd her about getting lunch and she didn't reply, and I dont want to have an awkward conversation on the phone. Look at this email - there is just too much to talk about and I'd like to keep it simple.I've thought about leaving a note on her car, but to me that sounds too weird. Is this something I should leave alone ?Is leaving a note on her car weird ?Should I just call her ?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (10 March 2009):
 I think unless you know her exact address (or can get it off a friend/colleague etc) then a phone call is best. A letter would be really nice and would show you have made a real effort, however if you have no way of getting it to her (and dont try following her home or anything crazy like that!) then a phone call is your only option.
It sounds like this woman likes you, she wouldnt have bothered coming home with you if she was not interested. So it is worth giving this a chance - call her and apologise for the way you were on that night (dont go into too much detail though otherwise it will tell that you have been thinking about this too much). Ask her out on a date - tell her you want to make it up to her. Hopefully she will say yes but if not, then you havent really lost anything anyway.
Leaving a note on her car would be weird, it is almost like you are stalking her or that you were nearby but couldnt be bothered to find her to talk to her face to face. And with a letter, dont be too romantic and dont let on fully how you feel. Women like men to be a little unavailable.
In your case, you messed up the night purely down to being tired, make sure she knows that you are sorry and want to see her again. But dont let on that you have any serious or deep feelings for her yet, this will be a little too much seen as you have not known her for long.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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