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Is this a case of bipolar love ??

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Friends, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 March 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 12 March 2009)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

huuuuuhh.... ok. Here I go. ---IT’S TOO LONG SO IF U DON’T WANT TO, DON’T READ IT

2 years ago, i met this guy i'll call Jm who asked me for $ and then dissapeared. So I forgot about his name and about his existence. He also gave it back to me later but i forgot about him again. A friend of me chased him to say i love him just for revenge so this idea was stuck in his head. (Hes from my school and is 4 years older than me).

One day (like a year sumthing later), he started going in my school bus and then i remembered about him. He started sitting next to me and i introduced him to my girls, and one day he forgot his keys and went to my house.

I swear I'm not like this but he had a candy and it was the only one and he offered it to me and bla bla bla....we ended passionately kissing. Inmediately he was like making wedding plans. ( I thought I would never forgive myself for being such a ho)I kinda liked him but i didn't want to go fast because i thought he could break my heart if i got too ilusionated. So he wanted to be with me day and night, the next day from the "incident", he invited me to meet his parents!! of couse my dear mother didn't let me go so i said bye. SO we went to the movies, and he called me all day and all night, and next day he wanted to meet my parents and talk to them about our “magic love”, but I thought he went nuts so I told him to slow down and got rid of him by some excuses, but I was really starting to fall for him.

Something important is that the first day after the kiss, he told me that he never ever lasted more than 1 week with a girl.

So I started showing him that I care because I didn’t want to lose him. He always told me how cute I am and that I want him only for the moment.

Exactly a week after the “incident”, Jm and I were chatting on msn. So I told him cute things and he said “Ohhh! You’re so cute, too cute for me” and I don’t remember how, but he ended any kind of relationship we had. (But he still said I STILL WANNA BE WITH U A LOT) (??). IT WAS OVER BEFORE IT STARTED!!

So after crying weeks without a stop, I decided to forget about him (and win him back)

He said we should talk but we never talked and then decided to be friends but how could I be the same I was with him before everything.

A month later. Oh! Look who invited himself to my house!!. Yoop, Jm

And yoop, this ho ended up cuddling in bed with him and then we went to the bathroom and he touched me down there and I totally let him. (Oh I should mention that he touched my boobs) (and tried to take my shirt and skirt and panties off but I didn’t let him) I was like…high. (not really)

Annnnd…that same afternoon he told me not to tell anybody cause we had sum problem:

When I kissed him I didn’t wanna screw up things so I didn’t tell anybody in my school. Then he told one of my best friends and was shocked she didn’t know. Then she told everybody. Then everybody started commenting how hot he is. (We won a nickname Barbie and Ken) Then he told his btches that kissing me was…awful. (cause they asked him to say who’s better) And before kissing him again I asked for explanations but he denied everything. Then he tried to make my friend break up with her bf saying she deserves someone better (like him) but she didn’t, but they flirted in my face (while I was having fun with my boyfriends trying to forget him)

Now time has passed but stil I can’t forget him because he looks at me all the time and follows me and he’s now close friends to all my friends who I introduced to him. And we are on vacation, that’s why nothing has happened but I totally love him and want him back.

WHAT DO YOU THINK I SHOULD DO? WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM ME?? DOES HE WANT ANYTHING AT ALL?

SORRY FOR BEING SO LONG ANY HELP WELCOME AND I REALLY NEED IT . LOVE U GUYS FROM DEARCUPID UR SO AMAZING.

View related questions: best friend, boobs, flirt, his ex, kissing, msn, revenge, wedding

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009):

Thanks so much for answering really!! Sorry girls for not explaining everything but I get too stressed thinking about this and I just thought is was really long. There were other things that happened to us but I just felt I should write it a little shorter. Actually I’m 14 right now and I met him at 12 he’s now 17 but is turning 18 in like ?, a week? So it’s like 4 years. Sorry for the words but that group “his bitches” they call themselves Jm’s bitches because I don’t know they just started interrogating me and told me to leave him alone and said “WE are his bitches” long story. About touching me and everything I just explained myself badly. We were both really having a good time, having a laugh, then he kissed me AGAIN and he said that I’m a lady and I’m too young and shouldn’t be into this kind of things cause I have too much to live but later HE was the one who touched me right? That’s what I’m talking about he’s bipolar (not ony this way, I can make a list, i mean a reaaaally long one) . So I let him and no, I was not drugged I was like MARRY MEEE I tought he was mr. Right but still didn’t have sex with him cause I knew I would regret it and just my instincts. Sorryy again I’m just so confused my counselor who knows him since he was like 11 says he’s the right for me and has beautiful feelings even though he’s almost 4 years older than me she said go for it!. (and my “boyfriends” are my male friends)

THANX REALLY :D I think my mom was right (yeah i did omit some things)

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A female reader, k_c100 United Kingdom +, writes (11 March 2009):

k_c100 agony auntYou met him two years ago??? So that would make you like what, 11-13? This is all just too crazy for someone of your age! Why would you just hand over money to someone you just met? I must say this question makes not a lot of sense, it is badly written and I'm not sure if this is just because of your age or because of your general confusion about your situation.

from what I can make out he cannot be in a relationship for more than a week (he ended it with you a week after your kiss) therefore he is just jumping from girl to girl. And how can he think he is in love with you after a day or two? This is just crazy, love can only come after spending months/years together, when you know that person inside and out. So also, you are not in love with him! This is just called infatuation!

You say so many things in this question that worry me....You said you were "high (not really)" - what does this mean? Are you taking drugs? Or do you mean you just felt high on your emotions? Why do you say "his bitches" - does this mean girls he is dating? Or just girls he hangs round with? And when you say you are having fun with your boyfriends; does this mean you are dating more than one guy? Or are they just male friends?

Regardless of all this confusion, you are not in love. You are too young to be hanging out with this guy if he is 4 years older than you (if you are 13 then he is 17, and if he is trying things on sexually with you then he can go to jail for this, it is illegal!). Stay away from this guy, he is bad news. He is just using girls, trying to get his way with them and then moving on to the next.

Just wait a while for a nice guy to come along, that will take things slow with you. Falling in love takes time, it wont happen after a day or two! And someone that claims they love you after this time is false and a liar, and definately someone that has no idea what love is.

I hope this helps and good luck!

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A female reader, Mymy Ireland +, writes (11 March 2009):

Mymy agony auntFirst of all, you are not a 'ho', so stop calling yourself that because you make the situation more difficult for yourself. You are very young and you're discovering boys, there's nothing wrong with that- and you made him stop when you felt uncomfortable which is good and smart of you.

As for Jim, he sounds like a bit of a nut and is messing you around to be honest. Have you ever officially been a couple, or are you just sneaking about with each other at the moment? He's an arsehole to be saying your a bad kisser (who are his bitches by the way? You seem to have a habit of labelling people, including yourself, and this might be something creating situations for you) He keeps vanishing the reappearing months at a time; he could have other girls like you for all you know, and the fact that the first time he approached you was to ask you for money is a bit suspicious too. He could see you as someone to sponge off of if he needs to.

I think your best option is to decide for yourself whether you want to be with him, bearing in mind his attitude and flaws that you've brought up. If yes, I think you need to sit him down and tell him straight that you feel like he's messing you about and that you would like to be girlfriend and boyfriend. If he says no, or you don't want to take that step, tell him to clear off because he's making things unbearable for you.

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