A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I Dont understand MEN!!! Right ok this is what i dont get...There a lad who yes i am insanely over the top in love with...he knows i like him(not to that extent but he knows and stuff) because everyone used to think he liked me back, he showed signs of liking me including staring, he still does it sometimes and it might just be me but sometimes things seem abit different like the atmosphere around us. Ok he told afew of my m8s he didn't feel the same but continued to show it.Ok well the thing is since all this we agreed to try and forget it and just be good friends. Thing is there seems to be a bit of a gap between him saying he means something and wants it and actually doing it.Like one night some people were winding us up about the fact i liked him and i said sorry and he sad it was fine. Also another so called m8 made something up about him and me which at the time i believed and me and this lad i liked not necesarrily got into an argument on msn but i was ready for falling out with him and was upset. He said some proper nice stuff like he loved me as a m8 always has and that ive helped him so much in the past and stuff. Also when i wasn't in class one day last week a m8 of ours asked how it went for him and he said boring no one was there and my m8 said u miss anyone and he said me! At a party we went to yea we were abit drunk but he started going on n on to someone about random crap an he said "(my name)'s nice but it'll never, happen u no... He's said some nice things to me and we've come really far in becoming better friends, we also sit toegther in lessons. Those were just a few nice things. Hes generally a nice person! Also that thing that the so called m8 made up about us...someone was talking to him and he was just saying how hes sick of people saying stuff about him and he said willingly he never ever said what that lad told me he did. Abit like he had it on his mind tbh no one asked him it just came out!Thing is some of us went out one day, im undr 18 so obv left at night and this so called m8 that made that stuff up started staying im glad (me) isnt here she'd probo make a mvoe on u but the thing is the one i like said yea she probably would(he knows i wud never do that!!) and he also said some other nasty stuf like i like him abit to much and i need to grow up and he wouldn't wanna be with me if i was the last alive! Thing is we are all at college toegther and a lot of people have said stuff to him about me and him so im wodnering if he only said that because this other lad was there.To be honest sometimes its like hes hiding something but still i dont understand whats going on!! Do you really think he meant them thing or do you think he did mean he loved me as a mate and he did miss me?Because to be honest we dont really talk alot and yes me and this lad have had some great times toegther but its up and down like a yo yo. Like the week before xmas we went and played pool toegther alone and stuff and had fun but then other times we hardly talk and stuff and he couldn;t seem to care less.Please tell me what you think and help me understand whats going on.. =)Im afraid when we leave hes just gonna forget i exisit n not care about ever contacting me or anything! Please help!
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (9 March 2009):
 When he leaves? Where is he going?
Aside from that part, this is all such a teenage crush! You like him, he probably likes you a bit too but doesnt want a girlfriend and then in front of his mates he is doing the whole macho act.
I dont want this to sound harsh but the guy you fancy is right on one thing, you do need to grow up a little bit. Firstly, this is not love and you should stop thinking you love him. Love can only come when you are together properly, in a relationship. What you feel is a crush - you fancy him and think he is a nice person. This is not love! Secondly, you are probably scaring the guy off by making it known how much you like him. How do all these people know you like him? You must have been telling a good few people seen as it has spread around your college. This is a classic sign if immaturity - its like being back in the playground at school!
If I were you I would give up on this entirely - if he wants to be friends then good. If not; just move on. There will be plenty of guys out there you will have a crush on too, this isnt the only guy in the world. It doesnt matter what he is thinking - the fact is that generally when a guy likes a girl (even a silly teenage boy like this one), they will make it known to the girl. Whether it is through their friends or flirting with you. This guy you like would have told you by now, so just give up.
You never know, if you do stop liking him and stop chasing after him like a lovesick puppy, he might realise what he is missing! Guys like a girl to be hard to get, they like the chase. They dont like it when a girl is offered up on a plate to them, you have been too available to this guy. Be a lot more distant from him and there is a tiny chance that he may realise what he is missing.
But if this never happens, at least you have moved on and can focus your energy on something more worthwhile than a teenage boy!
I hope this helps!
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