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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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My g/f told me I was her first. Should I believe her?
Q. my girlfriend told me she couldn't really feel something when i was inside her, but she told me i am her first time but before me there was a boy who just fingered her for a bit but didn't have proper sex, so she told me she never really have sex ...
A. 4 April 2009: Well in my opinion, it is very unusual for a virgin not to feel anything on her first time, most girls will feel some pain or they will at least feel something!
But everyone is different, so maybe she is telling the truth. Thing is, she is your ... (read in full...)
I have no life because of him and think I am being brainwashed!
Q. ok, so seven years ago I met the man of my dreams. Total charmer. He went out of his way to impress me. But things turned south very quickly. For instance, every time I missed his phone call he would go crazy. He wouldnt talk to me for days. I ...
A. 2 April 2009: This is a pretty serious situation for you - you need to realise that this is an abusive and controlling relationship and you must get out! While he might not be hurting you physically, he is abusing you mentally.
There is no reason for you to s... (read in full...)
I'm too hairy!
Q. Okay so im a 15 year old hispanic and i used to think that it was just my race well it isn't . Im much too hairy for a girl. I have hair on my stomach,back,pubic area, arms,legs, face. Basically everywhere! No exceptions. I don't know what to d...
A. 29 March 2009: I think you should go to the doctor - there are lots of different ways they can help you and they will be able to explain all your options. When you go and see the doctor just explain that you feel you have too much hair for a female and you would ... (read in full...)
I'm so scared I'm never going to be happy
Q. I am so scared that I'm never going to be happy. Lately, I've felt so discouraged that my heart is breaking. I know that I need to get over some things, and be grateful for the things I have, but sometimes the void inside me just makes me want to ...
A. 29 March 2009: If you really dont like living in the US then why not just move? Its really that simple - move to another country! You speak 3 languages so you can move to wherever you feel like living, find a job out there and live in a culture you feel is more ... (read in full...)
Birth control options & opinions
Q. I posted a question like this yesterday but I didn't get many replies. So, I'm posting again and hope to get a few more answers than last time. Anyway, I'm 13 years old and I'm getting put on Birth Control next week. I was wanting the shot but my ...
A. 29 March 2009: Your mum clearly was doing something wrong when she took the pill if she got pregnant - basically it is as effective as the shot (I think most forms of birth control are around 99% effective but check with your doctor) as long as you take it ... (read in full...)
Am I right to tell my wife to drop this stupid idea?
Q. I have a situation which could have serious ramifications for other people, not just my wife and I. My wife and I are married for 7 years now, have 2 great kids, and are timing out having a 3rd child. The issue is, when I was younger (18-19),...
A. 28 March 2009: I think you are right, it would hurt too many people to just re-appear in this child's life after all this time. And you have no concrete proof that you are the father to this child - the woman may have told you that you were the father but you have ... (read in full...)
Can our relationship be saved? Or is she just one of "those" girls who cant be faithful?
Q. So me and my girlfriend first started going out almost a year ago now. Although, it’s been very far from perfect. At first, as it is with most relationships I imagine, it was great. I thought it was perfect. But time went by, and we began to see the ...
A. 28 March 2009: I'm sorry to say this but you need to move on, she will never change and you will end up getting hurt time and time again.
She cheated on you only 3 months into the relationship - the honeymoon period should last at least a year! This girl cle... (read in full...)
Why won't she let me pick her up for our date?
Q. We had a really good first date last night and we're going out again tonight. Tonight, however, she categorically does not want me to pick her up. She would rather meet up there (which isn't exactly centretown). It's a little confusing. Why on...
A. 28 March 2009: She probably doesnt want you to think that she needs you to be running around after her - she will just want to show that she is independent and doesnt need a man to do things for her.
And if it is only your second date then she still doesnt k... (read in full...)
I guess he’s more mature but I’m totally confused what to do,
Q. Hello, a few years ago when I was young around the age of 10-12 I liked this boy name him A. so I was a typical girl to go after him instead of being straight upfront that I like him. You can say I chased him, (at that age I knew nothing about love...
A. 28 March 2009: Well when he was being so mean to you he was just being a typical boy, guys when they are that young tend to be mean to girls because they dont know how to show that actually they like that girl, and they dont want to be seen as soft in front over ... (read in full...)
I have never felt very confident in my body
Q. I have recently starting seeing this bloke and he is always very touchy feely and wanting more than just a kiss. My problem is that I have never felt very confident in my body and I don't mind touching with clothes on but I hate it when he touc...
A. 26 March 2009: Well if you dont feel comfortable with him touching you then clearly he is moving too fast with this or you are not ready for this, so tell him to slow down a bit!
Everyone has insecurities about their bodies, it is only natural so you shouldnt... (read in full...)
Should I have a baby by this guy?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months and he asked me recently do I want to have a baby with him. He already has 2 kids already and I told him if we do decide to kids and if we're still together maybe within the next 1-2 years. The mother ...
A. 25 March 2009: From what you have said it sounds like he wants another child (I'm guessing he might be older than you if he already has 2 kids) whereas you dont sound sure about the whole thing. Which leads me to say that no you shouldnt have a baby with this guy, ... (read in full...)
Teen mums!
Q. I'd just like to know your opinions on "teen mums". If the legal age to have sex (in the UK) is 16, why do parents age 16-20 get frowned upon? Also what age do you think is appropriate to be a grandparent? ...
A. 25 March 2009: I think the reason this gets frowned upon is because while techincally someone in that age range is legally allowed to have sex, they are still a teenager and therefore they should be at school, college or uni, or at least working towards a career ... (read in full...)
How do you get tested for HIV/AIDS? Is it a urine test? or what?
Q. This is probably going to be a long one but I'm worried! Recently I've been thinking about getting a HIV test but I'm too scared to do it and to tell anyone, I'm not sure if I'm positive or not, I've had sexual intercourse with about 7 people u...
A. 25 March 2009: Right well first of all you need to get tested ASAP!!! And not just for HIV, but a full test for all known STI's. Most major hospitals have walk-in clinics that you can go to for the full test (look online on the NHS's website) or you can go to your ... (read in full...)
Should my baby have my last name?
Q. I have a baby with my boyfriend he doesn't plan on getting married to me. In fact he's already married to another woman. Their relationship is rocky and he wants a child to have his last name even though we're not married. Should my baby have my ...
A. 25 March 2009: The child should have your name, it is as simple as that. If he is still married to another woman and has no intention of marrying you then he has no right to expect the child has his surname.
I hope this helps!... (read in full...)
Can you get pregnant if a guy touches your vagina with his erect penis?
Q. I've looked everywhere but I cannot find the answer to this question. Can you get pregnant if a guy does not get an erection but touches your vagina with his penis? ...
A. 25 March 2009: Not likely if he didnt have an erection - he needs an erection to produce precum which can then make you pregnant just by touching your vagina.
So I would say it is very unlikely that you are pregnant however there probably is a tiny chance, ... (read in full...)
Should I cut him off now or wait until I the abortion?
Q. So, I was with my ex boyfriend for over two years. It was my first real relationship and I loved him very much, we did everything together. Well two weeks ago, we were arguing and he had told me he cheated on me out of anger. The next day he tell...
A. 25 March 2009: I think the best thing to do is cut him off now, there is no point in dragging this relationship out. Yes going through the abortion will be a tough time however you have your family and friends for comfort, you shouldnt go back to your ex purely ... (read in full...)
I love my teacher and I think she loves me back :)
Q. im 16 and shes 27.lets call her lizzy. shes my chef course teacher. lizzy calls me pretty and she gave me a flower 2day :) she touches my thigh and my shoulders. winks at me all the time and smirks a lot at me and shes always offering to help ...
A. 25 March 2009: You must understand that as your teacher, she is leagally not allowed to start a relationship with you otherwise she will lose her job and never be able to work as a teacher again - you dont want to destroy her career now do you?
I understa... (read in full...)
What can I say to my daughter's boyfriend to make him feel more secure?
Q. My daughter, 17 (18 in July) and her boyfriend (19)have been in a relationship for nearly 3 years. All they do is fight. Her boyfriend is very insecure and thinks that she is going to cheat on him with every male friend she has. They do love each ...
A. 24 March 2009: I dont think you should get involved here, this is between the two of them. I understand you are only trying to help as you dont want to see your daughter unhappy when they are arguing all the time but if you get involved it will only make things ... (read in full...)
Why won't he trust me? Should I tell him that I over heard him?
Q. I have been with my husband since high school, we got married last summer and I thought we had the perfect relationship. He is in the army and will be leaving to do a 8 month tour on April 15. Last night I overheard him telling his brother that...
A. 24 March 2009: I think the other 2 answers are right here; he is just worried about leaving you behind and this is only natural. Its not that he doesnt trust you, I bet he doesnt trust everyone else and he will be feeling uncomfortable about the distance that will ... (read in full...)
We're "on a break", then he joked we were "Friends with Benefits" ???
Q. 2 weeks ago my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years and I went "on a break". It was his idea since we had been spending too much time together and arguing a lot more than normal. A few days later I asked what he meant by "break" and he said it was that we were ...
A. 24 March 2009: This guy is trying to test you, to see how far he can push you before you snap. He is playing games and sounds like an immature little boy. To be honest with you, he doesnt sound like a guy that is mature enough to be in a committed relationship.
... (read in full...)
Moving in with girlfriend and her kids
Q. Hay everybody, My girlfriend and I have been in relationship for almost two years and have decided to move in together.She has three kids (7,9 and 11 from first marriage).She is seeling her house and with that money will pay off her mortgage and...
A. 24 March 2009: I'm afraid I have no knowledge on the Australian legal system and you will be hard pushed to find someone on here with the type of knowledge you require. Therefore I suggest you go to a lawyer and get some proper legal advice on your situation.
... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't get it..I feel like I am suffocating
Q. Im 20 but by now I had 3 serious relationships and the last one was very difficult to get over. I loved him and I still do, he is the guy you write books about hes everything every girl can dream of. But for me most importantly he loved me and hes ...
A. 24 March 2009: Well seen as you have said you are only 20 but have been in 3 serious relationships, then I am assuming (please correct me if I am wrong here) that they were in fairly quick succession therefore you have not had much time in between each of these ... (read in full...)
Thoughts about sex, early experiences?
Q. I know it is several years too soon but there are things I think about almost constantly. I am a freshman in HS and have never had a boyfriend but when that time comes and I am willing to have sex does the BF remove some of my clothes or should I? ...
A. 24 March 2009: Well going on my early experiences, there was no real memory of the undressing part....it all just seemed to happen pretty quickly. I had been with my boyfriend for 6 months before we both decided it was the right time to have sex, and both of us ... (read in full...)
Best time to have sex without pregnancy?
Q. which time is safe to do sex with my gf? whether 7days after or before 7 days of her period for which she will not get pregnent?...
A. 24 March 2009: I really hope this is a joke question. For someone of your age you should really know better. But just in case you are being serious then here is my answer for you....
There is NO safe time to have unprotected sex....she can still get pregnant... (read in full...)
How do I get over what I had and be grateful for what I've got?
Q. Compared to some peoples' problems on here, this probably isn't very bad but some advice would be welcome nonetheless. I have been with my girlfriend for almost 18 months now. For the first 12 months, everything was amazing. I couldn't do a th...
A. 24 March 2009: It is clear you have tried to talk to her about this and nothing is working, so maybe you have to come up with a different approach. I think you do have something to be concerned about here; whilst that amazing honeymoon period never lasts, it ... (read in full...)
Is it safe to be nude at a tanning salon?
Q. well this doesn't really relate to sex or much of what this site goes over but i was wanting to know if tanning in a place with tanning beds is safe? As in is there camera's or anything like that. and with my penis is it safe to use a tanning be ...
A. 24 March 2009: Basically the answer is no, it is not safe to go on a sunbed nude. Keep your underwear on and there will be a lot less problems! I know you wont want tan lines (maybe buying a thong might be an idea!) but if you are naked then the UV rays will ... (read in full...)
Why do I go back to him? Do I just get lonely and go back to the ex because I can?
Q. Hmm, okay here goes. So I'm 17 and have been on and off with my boyfriend for about 3 years now. I'm the one who has done the breaking up in the past. We broke up at the end of august last year after being together 6 months, because by the end I ju...
A. 23 March 2009: You have to end things with your boyfriend, it is not fair on him that you are having an "affair" with another guy. While you havent physically cheated by the sounds of it, you are emtionally cheating on your boyfriend with your new man. Do the ... (read in full...)
He left and came back! Should I believe him?
Q. I am 19 years old and married. He is 22 years old. We have been together for about 3 years now. Last year i got pregnant and thats why we got married. My mom kind us forced us too which was kind of stupid of us to let her do that. So everything ...
A. 23 March 2009: I'm so sorry to hear that, I cant imagine what you are going through at the moment. Maybe you could both use each other for support during this difficult time, losing a child is something a parent should never have to experience but maybe this ... (read in full...)
How long until we have sex?
Q. Hey, I just started seeing this guy. He seems very nice, and cool ... little bit of a party animal, but I don't mind. We went for 2 dates .. kissed .. and at the second one he did ask me, if he can come upstairs, but I said no ... he didn't push. ...
A. 23 March 2009: Well this all just depends on the guy. To put it simply....if he is a decent guy then he wont mind waiting and wont lose interest if he is kept waiting a little while, nor will he lose interest if you do have sex. But if he is a complete jerk and a ... (read in full...)
His friend Katie is getting to close to him for comfort!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 months now. I love him to pieces. I'm not a jealous girlfriend and I know I can trust him but he has this friend called Katie and she fancies him. She is all over him all the time. She tried to kiss him in front of ...
A. 23 March 2009: Well if he knocked her back then it shows he is not interested in her, so you have nothing to worry about. I suggest you talk to him and tell him that her behaviour is making you feel uncomfortable, and that you would appreciate it if he had a word ... (read in full...)
Should I be happy that even though he goes out and he gets female attention it's me he wants?
Q. My boyfriend is gorgeous. He has the charm to go with it that's why I love him so much. Thing is he has lots of friends, female ones too! And I seem to have a problem with this. I know that they fancy him and would love to be with him he gets a lot ...
A. 23 March 2009: You have absolutely no need to worry, he tells you he has never felt this way about anyone before so you should be over the moon! All these girls can try their best with him but at the end of the day, he loves you and he is coming home to you.
... (read in full...)
Can't get a job and feel worthless!
Q. Hi. I lost my job to the recession and credit crunch in September and I have been unable to land another job. I've applied for hundreds of jobs. I've had one interview and the rest never bother getting back to me. I even tried to get a job at a ...
A. 23 March 2009: You have to understand that your situation, just like millions of other people's situations around the world, are down to the recession and until the economy picks up again, you may have to accept that there is not a lot you can do.
If you have... (read in full...)
I don't know what to do... Should I have sex with him?
Q. Let's just get straight to the point, I'm nearly 14 and I've been seeing this lad for just over 3 weeks, he's nearly 16, but the thing is he wants sex even though he says he's ready when I'm ready. Sometimes I think he will dump me if I don't have ...
A. 23 March 2009: I think you should wait a bit longer before you sleep with him, it is too soon at the moment before you go ahead and do this. 3 weeks isnt a very long time to be with someone and it is hard to know how you feel about them and how they feel about you ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to train him not to treat me as a sex object!
Q. Need advice. The ex rang and wanted to be with me sexually last night after avoiding me for an entire week..yes 7 days.. so I said no cos I wanted him to understand he can't just creep back into my life like that and expect me to go with him just ...
A. 23 March 2009: This is just crazy. You have split up so why do you feel the need to see him again? When you break up with someone it is not normal to continue seeing your ex or keeping in touch constantly.
You need to decide what you want here - do you standby ... (read in full...)
Is it ok for them to share a bed?
Q. Ok, my boyfriend's friend who is female is staying at his house... Before I met him I met him through her they were really good friends.. She used to tell me that she used to stay at his house and they shared a bed but didn't do anything. She ha...
A. 23 March 2009: This is a tough one - they have told you she sleeps on the sofa so technically you should believe him. You say there was no evidence she slept on the sofa, but was there any evidence she slept in his bed? If you cannot prove that they are sleeping ... (read in full...)
He left and came back! Should I believe him?
Q. I am 19 years old and married. He is 22 years old. We have been together for about 3 years now. Last year i got pregnant and thats why we got married. My mom kind us forced us too which was kind of stupid of us to let her do that. So everything ...
A. 23 March 2009: This is a difficult one so I think you really need to use your own judgement here and go with your gut feeling.
But I will give you my opinion, what you do with this is up to you. I think that he has come back because he has realised that he might... (read in full...)
BF never wants to go to the bars with me, but goes with his girl friends...Isn't this wrong?
Q. My boyfriend said we needed to spend "less time together" because we were hanging out 24/7 and arguing alot more than usual. We've been together for about 2 1/2 years. I didn't like that but agreed. I have trust issues and he knows that. Well...
A. 23 March 2009: This is a difficult one. You have every right not to be happy with the way he is behaving however he is right about spending less time together because that is good for a relationship.
When you mentioned he is buying these girls drinks - that is ... (read in full...)
Did my behavior push him away?
Q. I need some serious advice here... I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now and I don't know what to think. I have been a little clingy, asking him to stay over more, trying to make love more(usually after one time he is spent:(), and...
A. 23 March 2009: I dont think it will have been your behaviour that will have made him take back the proposal; I think it is just common sense that made him do that. You are young (I am assuming he is the same age too) and you have only been together 6 months - this ... (read in full...)
How long after you had unprotected sex do you know if your pregnant?
Q. How long after you had unprotected sex do you know if pregnant.If I got my period this month? I really don't want to be pregnant:/ because hopefully I'm going to graduate from high school this year:)...
A. 23 March 2009: If you have already had your period this month then wait at least 2-3 weeks and take a test. If it comes back negative then you should not be pregnant, however just make sure you wait for your next period to arrive also. If this doesnt come then you ... (read in full...)
Pregnancy mabye?
Q. I think im pregnant but im not sure. I started my period today. I thought it was strange because me and my boyfriend have been going at it everyday for the last two weeks. (I know there is only a 25% chance of getting pregnant without using a ...
A. 23 March 2009: The sarcasm in your respose to our answers on here just shows your lack of maturity, a mature grown up can accept criticism and use it constructively whereas a child will respond with sarcasm. I think you may have just proved us all right.
In al... (read in full...)
Is this relationship is worth salvaging?
Q. Dear Cupid, my boyfriend and I had a huge row tuesday and yesterday that started off over something really small. it was saint patricks day on tuesday and I was going to meet my friend in town.later on we my boyfriend texted me saying th...
A. 19 March 2009: Well in my opinion then the answer is no, you shouldnt bother trying to save this relationship as clearly you have anger issues and neither of you can communicate properly.
You do not say if you actually love your boyfriend, if there are any othe... (read in full...)
Pregnancy mabye?
Q. I think im pregnant but im not sure. I started my period today. I thought it was strange because me and my boyfriend have been going at it everyday for the last two weeks. (I know there is only a 25% chance of getting pregnant without using a ...
A. 18 March 2009: It unfortunately does sound like you are trying to get pregnant, which will mean that this is just another silly young girl who wants a baby because she thinks it will be fun and nice!
Thankfully this month you are not pregnant, you have had a pe... (read in full...)
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