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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Your opinion on a young girl's sexual identification crisis?
Q. Hello strangers, I'm only 14 going on 15 but I'm having... 'anxieties' over what my sex life will be. I'm hetero sexual girl, and I beleive that love is love, no matter race, gender, age, or beleif, though I'm terrified of my self. Not just me ac...
A. 6 February 2009: You have made a huge step in telling your mum so well done! And it sounds like your mum is being supportive rather than getting angry so that is great news.
This process will take a long time so just be patient with it, you will get to where yo... (read in full...)
Anxiety about my period every month
Q. Hey. I want to know why i always feel like i'm the only girl in the whole world that can't deal with her period. Everytime I get it i constantly stay home. I'm always afraid to go to school with it, because i'm afraid i'm gonna have an accident and ...
A. 5 February 2009: Well the pill is one option for you that will give you some control over your periods. It is a wonderful thing for that! It makes your periods shorter and lighter, and without all the cramps and moodiness before hand. They also have the days printed ... (read in full...)
He says he's not ready but I want to take our relationship to the next level
Q. I have been with my partner for 9 years (since I was 19) and we moved in together 4 years ago. After being together for such a long time I really want to take our relationship to the next stage by getting married and having children. For the p...
A. 5 February 2009: I dont think giving him an ultimatum is the best idea; men tend to get defensive if you do this and they will be even more closed off and stubborn once you lay down a deadline.
You need to decide whether you are willing to wait around a bit long... (read in full...)
I'm young, but will I ever find love again?
Q. Will I ever fall in love or find love again? My ex and I were best friends for about four years, since the beginning of high school. We confided completely in one another and absolutely trusted each other with everything. We had an amazing frien...
A. 5 February 2009: It sounds to me like you have so much going for you in your life! You sound like a great guy who knows his own mind, and you have a good head on your shoulders. It takes a lot of courage and maturity to cut off contact with someone you really love, ... (read in full...)
Break up? Or make up?
Q. So my X girl, if u get a chance u can read my other questions to get our history. But basically since our break up I've slept with her once n a blue, I probably shouldn't have but I luv her.... Basically she still denies cheating on me, she has ...
A. 5 February 2009: I think there are a number of questions you need to answer yourself before you make a decision.
1. Do you believe she has changed?
2. Has she grown up/matured since you split up (you dont mention how long ago you split up - if it has been a w... (read in full...)
Your opinion on a young girl's sexual identification crisis?
Q. Hello strangers, I'm only 14 going on 15 but I'm having... 'anxieties' over what my sex life will be. I'm hetero sexual girl, and I beleive that love is love, no matter race, gender, age, or beleif, though I'm terrified of my self. Not just me ac...
A. 5 February 2009: I think you will get a mixed reaction from people in general, as some people are more understanding than others. While soceity is becoming more accepting than it used to, you will still come up against hatred and abuse. This is just something you ... (read in full...)
He loves me? He loves me not?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for a little over four months now. Last night my boyfriend and I were laying in bed and I've been wanting to tell him I love him... I finally got up enough courage to do that. I said it and I got a lot of sweet kisses ...
A. 4 February 2009: I dont think it is too soon, you have waited 4 months and that is long enough to be sure of your feelings for someone!
I think you are right in worrying about his last marriage; I imagine he has strong feelings for you but is worried about ge... (read in full...)
Am I better off on my own? Or not completely satified with my b/f?
Q. Me and my ex boyfriend split about 7 months ago! Since then i have been seeing another boy who is soo sweet and caring and someone i really could live securely with for the rest of my life. However me and my ex only split up on the basis of our fami...
A. 4 February 2009: I think you are better off on your own at the moment to be honest with you. This guy you are with at the moment sounds lovely and he seems like a nice guy, its not fair to him to be dragging him along and hurting him in the process.
You clearly ... (read in full...)
Should I take my girlfriend back after she cheated on me?
Q. Well I just found out yesterday that my girlfriend cheated on me. We've been together solidly for 3 months and on and off for 4 months before that. It was only a week ago that we lost our virginity to each other. It was my first time whereas she has ...
A. 4 February 2009: You are still very young and the problem is you both will be growing up a lot over the next couple of years and there is no guarantee where your lives will take you at the moment. It is quite naieve at your age to think that you will be living ... (read in full...)
How can I break my hymen, since using a dildo doesn't work?
Q. Hi, I'm a virgin, and I'd like to break my hymen myself, so I won't have to worry about the pain when I eventually have sex. The problem is, that I've tried inserting a dildo before, and was able to get it in, but there was no bleeding, and no pain. ...
A. 4 February 2009: Well if you have managed to insert a dildo before then it sounds like it probably is broken. It is very easy to break it and it probably could have happened quite a long time ago! gymnastics and horse riding can often break the hymen so if you did ... (read in full...)
I can't believe that today I cheated on my GF, what do I do now?
Q. i cheated. I cheated. I f***ing cheated! I feel like shit. I hate myself so f***ing much right now. I swore ide never cheat on my gf, I did today. I cheated on her with my ex, who cheated on me! my girlfriend has never done anything like that at ...
A. 4 February 2009: I hope you havent told your girlfriend already; it is a common mistake to think the right thing to do is come clean and tell the truth! You have the option of telling her - this is purely a way of offloading your guilt onto someone else. Or... (read in full...)
Offline and online relationship troubles...
Q. I'm 25 and once again single. I've broken up with my girlfriend of the past three months, because whenever I want to do something she always makes excuses, and always tries to do those things I want to do if there's something in it for her. She ...
A. 4 February 2009: Well you mention "offline or online" so I can only assume you are meeting these women on the internet. While this works for some people, in my experience people you meet on the net are always going to change after a few months - that is why they are ... (read in full...)
Do I stick it out with my girlfriend or cut it off?
Q. So heres the deal... i have been dating this girl for 15 months and i love her soo very much but in the past few months it feels like we have been going downhill fast Sooo then i have been talking to this other girl and i have known her for a ...
A. 4 February 2009: I think the last post is very true - the most important thing for you to do is not go anywhere near this other girl! It will only cause trouble in a number of ways so staying away is the best thing for you to do. With regards to your girlfriend;... (read in full...)
Another man plagued by his girlfriends past... how can you get the ex out of your mind?
Q. i cant forget my girlfriend's sexual past although she accepts the fact that i have slept with a hooker and my ex girlfriend. i feel like an asshole for being like this. we really love each other and want to get married too. i love her too much and ...
A. 4 February 2009: Unfortunately everyone has a past, not many people find their true love straight away and have to make some mistakes with a few people before they find the right person. You need to stop focusing on the past - accept that you cannot change it... (read in full...)
I'm trying to date my best friends ex, why is she acting like this?
Q. My best friend dumped her boyfriend. it happens that i really really love him and i told him and he said he loves me as a homie but he loves my best friend that dumped him too (but more than a homie). then he said later that hes not rejecting me but ...
A. 4 February 2009: To be brutally honest here, she cannot be your best friend if you are wanting to go out with her ex. Friends dont do that, its an unwritten rule that you dont go anywhere near your friends ex's. So she has every right to be mad at you....how would... (read in full...)
Am I destined to be fat forever?
Q. I need to, and I have decided I am going to try. I feel like a fat hog, and it's gotten to the point where I'm sick of looking in the mirror. To tell the truth, I am so scared, though. I've read about, and been told, that there are some people ...
A. 3 February 2009: Unless you want to pay to go and get tested at a hospital where they will have to analyse your DNA (very expensive!) then you need to stop thinking like this! Basically some people use "I cant lose weight because of my genes etc" as an excuse to ... (read in full...)
Should I go back out with my ex or move on?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend of half a year about 3 months ago for the forth time. The first time I broke up with him was the worst night of my life and consisted of me at a party standing in the middle of a cirle of my boyfriend's close friends ...
A. 30 January 2009: Quite simply you need to move on. You have said that your ex loves you more than you love him and that you dont find him attractive. That is a clear sign to move on from that relationship. But stay away from his best friend - I know you like him but ... (read in full...)
Can anyone help me come up with a plan to lose weight?
Q. I am so tired of looking in the mirror and cringing with disgust at my reflection. There's no denying it, I look like a fat pig and it's been driving me crazy. I want to do something about it. I've begun excercising daily and I've dramaticall...
A. 30 January 2009: Well first of all dont believe everything you hear about biological reasons for people not being able to lose weight - generally this is just an excuse from other people who cant be bothered to lose the pounds! Basically, scientists have ... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if I'm bi? At what age does bisexuality usually show up?
Q. Hello, I am a 21 year old male, and I have always thought of myself has 100% hetrosexual. I had my first serious sexual relationship at 17 and have had another serious sexual relationship at 20. I am now in my third serious sexual relationship but ...
A. 28 January 2009: This is totally normal, dont worry yourself about it. I'm 21 and female, and I will notice other girls from time to time (even thinking some female celebrities are hot!). But I'm the same as you, the thought of being with a woman, seeing wo... (read in full...)
My g/f of 5 years wants to see what else is out there!
Q. Hey everyone, So I'm currently in a 5 year relationship and me and my girlfriend have been having some problems. Last night she told me that she loves me to death and cares for me yet maybe wants to see what else is out there. We are high school ...
A. 28 January 2009: This is an awful situation for you to be in and I really feel for you. This is pretty common for couples when they have been together for so long and when you were each other's "firsts", but you shouldnt think of this as accpetable behaviour. ... (read in full...)
She walks all over me because she knows she can
Q. ok,i have answered a few questions recently on this to give people advice but now its my turn to ask anyone reading this for advice. the answer to my problem might seem obvious but please try and think of my situation before answering. thank you. ...
A. 28 January 2009: At least you recognise that she is walking all over you, thats a start. But now you have to make a decision; do you want to carry on like this with her walking all over you or do you want to leave? Because she isnt going to change I'm afraid - gir... (read in full...)
She walks all over me because she knows she can
Q. ok,i have answered a few questions recently on this to give people advice but now its my turn to ask anyone reading this for advice. the answer to my problem might seem obvious but please try and think of my situation before answering. thank you. ...
A. 28 January 2009: At least you recognise that she is walking all over you, thats a start. But now you have to make a decision; do you want to carry on like this with her walking all over you or do you want to leave? Because she isnt going to change I'm afraid - gir... (read in full...)
My mom thinks of my g/f as a "fatal attraction"
Q. I have been dating a girl for 6 months. To full understand this situation perhaps a brief back story is needed. She was involved with one of my friends for a period of time, while they were together he encouraged her o begin becoming friends with ...
A. 28 January 2009: Well it sounds to me after what you have just said that you two are perfect for each other. She has done nothing wrong and your parents concerns are completely unjustified, you are a lucky guy to have a relationship like you have and you should keep ... (read in full...)
My mom thinks of my g/f as a "fatal attraction"
Q. I have been dating a girl for 6 months. To full understand this situation perhaps a brief back story is needed. She was involved with one of my friends for a period of time, while they were together he encouraged her o begin becoming friends with ...
A. 27 January 2009: Even if this all does go wrong then it shouldnt matter whether or not your parents are right, the most important thing is that you learn lessons for yourself and learn from your mistakes. You havent really said in your questions what this girl h... (read in full...)
My gf played spin-the-bottle and kissed 7 people in a night. Now I am confused....
Q. How would you feel if your girlfriend kissed 7 people in a night ? Well that what my girlfriend did and i feel very bad on that and it was a spinning bottle game and i felt like people who play that just don't pay respect to their selves and righ...
A. 27 January 2009: Well not only do people that play that game not have any respect for themselves but also if they are in a relationship then they clearly dont have any respect for their partner. If it was me I would be very upset and wouldnt stand for it. Your gir... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants to be able to kiss other guys
Q. Hey guys, I am 19, and my GF is 18. Basically, my girlfriend loves me says I am perfect for her, says she wants to marry me and everything. Prior to this, I guess our lowest point is when she kissed a guy out clubbing drunk (i know no excus...
A. 27 January 2009: I know this might sound like a good idea to you at the moment as it seems like a way of saving your relationship but believe me, DONT DO IT! Basically I was that girl back when I was 17/18, except I didnt tell my boyfriend at the time (I know, te... (read in full...)
I like this guy but we have absolutely nothing in common.
Q. I like this guy but we have absolutely nothing in common. I hate the music he listens to, the books he reads.(all that stuff) and to top it off his friends dont like me. What do I do?...
A. 27 January 2009: Well you say you like the guy....so what attracted him to you in the first place? Some say opposites attract, but then again if you have nothing at all in common then you will find it hard to do things together you both enjoy. Do you like him eno... (read in full...)
Just split with my first and only sexual partner...
Q. Hi everyone, My boyfriend and I recently split, He was my first and only sexual partner. Now that we are not together, I feel depressed and empty...Like I've lost something important to me. I feel like I just want to go out and have sex with ra...
A. 26 January 2009: Dont worry about feeling like this; your first love and first sexual partner is always the hardest to get over. You need to realise that he was a big part of your life and that you shared some good times; it is only natural to feel upset and alone ... (read in full...)
Whyy am I still single??
Q. i'm 15,i'm a sophmore in high school and i was wondering.is it normal to never have a boyfriend.i mean i've been on a date,i've been kissed,i've done hook-ups,but i never had a boyfriend and i really wanna know why probably because. i always flirt...
A. 26 January 2009: Look at the positives here; guys think you are beautiful so things can be that bad! I know this is very patronising but you are only 15, that is so young and you have so much of your life ahead of you! Being single at your age is much more fun than ... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend a complete miser for not spending on me?
Q. My girlfriend and i have been together for approximately 3 months now. We have a fantastic relationship, we never argue, spent plenty of time together and have an incredibly loving bond. I can without doubt say that she fulfills my every need both ...
A. 26 January 2009: I think you need to put this into context....you have only been together 3 months which is not very long at all. You are both still getting to know each other and each others ways. You mentioned groceries in the house....does this mean that you live ... (read in full...)
I don't want to run into the ex
Q. Earlier this week, a friend of mine at university suggested that all the guys go on a trip to Preston, a city in the North west of England. According to him, there are 4 women to every 1 man. I'm not sure I believe that, but that doesn't bother ...
A. 23 January 2009: Well I don't know if you have ever been to Preston (and apologies to anyone living in Preston - I'm sure there are some great things about it) - it is not exactly a "fun" destination! There is nothing going for Preston - I know a few people who are ... (read in full...)
He's been cheating on me with his ex!
Q. Hey guys can anyone help me please I'm so desperate at the moment. I've been with a guy for well a year however the first 6 months were unoffical and now it's offical... however throughout the whole time he was always still talking to his e...
A. 23 January 2009: I'm afraid if he is still in contact with her then it looks like there is still something between them and you will only get caught in the middle. Unless he cuts her out of his life and never speaks to her again then you cannot be sure that he won... (read in full...)
My boyfriend left me after 11 years for a younger woman.
Q. My boyfriend left me after 11 years for a woman who has a young boy of about 7-8 years, he 30 this year I'm 47 and she's 31, he's only been with her for 5 weeks. I found out last night she is a big girl size 16 and non atractive (I know there's ...
A. 23 January 2009: Well I think you a being pretty naive if you think he will come back to you because you are two dress sizes smaller than her. Being a size 16 does not make you a "big girl", it is the average size of a woman in the UK. Now I am not defending obesity ... (read in full...)
All I want is some space to be left alone for a while!!
Q. I have this ex girlfriend who's gone completely raging psycho on me. I mean, completely off the deep end. We broke up about 3 months ago, but she is still expecting me to treat her like she's my girlfriend and that's completely flustering to me. ...
A. 22 January 2009: It sounds like she has some other issues behind her behaviour and your break up was proabably the final straw for her. You are actually doing the right thing by wanting to get some space between the two of you as this is the right thing for her ... (read in full...)
I want to leave him but I'm afraid he won't come after me
Q. SO I have been with my boyfriend for six years. When we first started dating he was amazing. He still is an amazing person works hard, and I know he loves me. Everyone who meets him loves him and thinks he's a great guy. The thing is things are ...
A. 22 January 2009: My current boyfriend sounds incredibly similar to yours...when we first met he was so loving and attentive and wanted to spend all his time with me. Since we have moved in together he barely acknowledges my existance. I have told him a million times ... (read in full...)
I'm 16, he's in his 40's what to do if he asks me out?
Q. Hi, I have a bit of a problem that I am VERY confused about. There's this guy at my gym, he's (I guess) in his late 30s or early 40s. Anyway I like him, a lot, and he seems to like me as well, but I am 16. He doesn't know that. (Most people seem to ...
A. 21 January 2009: I know it seems like you really like this guy at the moment but if you did enter into a relationship with him then you would soon find out that dating an older man (in your case - way older) is not what you need at your age.
He will want very dif... (read in full...)
To have sex? or not?
Q. im 16 and my boydrien is 20, we have been 2gtr for 7months should i have sex with him or wait longer?(im still a little scarde) In if so how much longer?...
A. 21 January 2009: I cant give you the answer to that question, only you can answer that yourself.
If you still feel scared about the prospect of having sex then you probably are not ready yet. You should only have sex when you feel ready to, and if your boyfrien... (read in full...)
How do I get the oourage to actually speak to him and not just text him?
Q. dear cupid hi last week i wrote with a problem i have had a crush on a boy for about a year.i got his number off his mate and and i have been textinghim for about A MONTH he wants to talk to me but i find it hard to pluck up the courage. i saw y...
A. 21 January 2009: Well you got the courage to get his number from his friend so thats a start! I think you should try and speak to him the next time you see him when your friend is not around (so she wont embarrass you!) and try and get him alone too. Boys tend... (read in full...)
How do you tell if a hymen is broken or not?
Q. so...i'm not sure if my hymen's broken or not. I know this is so embarrassing but like i've done...alot...but there's been no bleeding or pain when i'm...active....i'm just curious really. i'm not sure how to tell if it is or not....
A. 21 January 2009: Well if you have had sex then it is most likely that you will have broken your hymen. It is only a very thin piece of skin so it is easy to break, if you did gymnastics or horse riding as a child it is probable it broke then! Dont worry too much a... (read in full...)
What is this horrible creamy discharge?
Q. Ok, this is kinda embarrassing. Every day I have this creamy white leakage coming out of my vagina. I don't know what it is. Is it like chick cum? cause I don't feel aroused. I'm not pregnant and I'm a virgin. So yeah, and sometimes so much of it ...
A. 21 January 2009: Well to have discharge is perfectly normal for a woman, most women have varying amounts of discharge throughout their cycle. However if you feel there is a lot of it and due to your description of it, you might have thrush (dont be alarmed - nea... (read in full...)
Is this considered cheating?
Q. I went on my bf of 1 years my space account and saw that a girl emailed him something called a hubby appliction. On it he said that he wants to have sex with her, kiss her and stuff like that. He has never met this girl and she lives across the ...
A. 21 January 2009: Well technically it is not cheating as he has not met her in person however he is being very disrespectful towards you! I think you need to sit down with him and tell him that his behaviour has upset you and that you wont tolerate it. He ... (read in full...)
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