A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, so I'm kinda in a pickle. I was once friends with a girl as a little boy, she moved across the planet. I haven't seen or contacted in almost 10 years? except for a brief encounter about a year or so ago where neither of us said anything so when I saw her then I fell in love with her outside, and again this time I'm in contact (just) on facebook... so I've been attracted (obsessed with one) too many girls, my age and older. This time I don't feel many sexual feelings toward her, I just at least want to be her friend or be around her..The roblem is.. I don't know her any more. She's 2/3 years older than me and has a boyfriend (don't know him but don't like him :|) but I'm a mild believer in astrology (sucks for me), I'm Pisces and she's Scorpio (many sites have claimed true love between these two.) Moreover her mother wanted us to get together back then for when were older...I have no idea what to do with myself, what to say. One thing, I found out she's leaving where she moved to to come back (OH SHIZZ) so the likelihood of me seeing her soon (ish) is HIGH...What's more irritating is I can't get this girl out of my head, saying she's beautiful would be a MAJOR understatement, she's smart and has a similar sort of personality, I like her! I REALLY like her.. but I can't make a move at my age (15 she's 17), but if I leave it too long she will find someone else I'm sure, then if that happens, to say the least I'll be sad...I would do anything for this girl and I barely know her I swear it.(What doesn't help that is I'm the "submissive" to women kinda person)The age gap doesn't bother me, I'm not the kind of dopey moron teenage boy like most of them now *sighs*. I had to grow up, I swear to you..I want to be around her, hold her, tell her I love her. Any imperfections I see on her may bother me on other girls but I don't care, I just don't, she in my eyes is perfect, absolutely perfect. I know what I'd do on valentines, dates, wedding, anniversaries. There is NOBODY I can tell in person, not a dad, my mum is mates with hers so that won't work, I want to tell her as well but I fear rejection in anything, not just relationships.I best stop before you get too bored. Any thoughts on: is it love? What should I do? and maybe a method to not think of her 24/7? Thanks. oh and if you didn't catch it, I'm 15, she's 17
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (6 March 2009):
 I can see where you thought besotted means "very drunk". If you google the meaning then that IS one of the meanings it comes up with but if you look further down it defines besotted as: infatuated; intellectually or morally blinded; intoxicated and this meaning is the context besotted was meant. (Seeing as I gave the question it's title, I just wanted to point that out!) ;o)
~Eve~
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2009): Okay i think if i were her i'd be a little scared that you were so keen on her seeing as you only knew her when u were three! And now all u do is look through her fotos, try and get a real girlfriend not a cyber one! you are so contradictary, you said i just want to be her frieend ....and then you go on to talk about anniversaries together and holding her , please go to the shop and get a life
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (6 March 2009):
 Ignore whoever asked "doesnt besotted mean drunk" - they clearly are not being helpful and have no understanding of the english language.
With regards to your question then I'm afraid to tell you that no, this is not love. It is a big crush, but nothing more. To truly love someone you have to know that person inside and out, and you have said yourself she moved away a long time ago so all you have been is an admirer from afar.
And from a female perspective, I know that back when I was 17 (and even now) there is no way I would date a guy younger than me, especially aged 17 with a boy of 15. Girls like maturity, someone with experience and someone who knows how to treat a girl right. Now I'm not saying that you would treat her badly, I imagine you would do anything and everything for her. But therein lies the problem - girls dont like a guy who is a pushover. Behaving like this in a relationship is a sign of immaturity, you will find it stops as you get older.
I think that while you really do like thi girl, there is not much hope for you so I dont think you should pursue it as I dont want you to get hurt! She is older than you, she has a boyfriend and really, she knows nothing about you.
There is no way for you to get her out of your head, this just takes time. First of all you need to accept that this is not someone you can be with, and then try and focus your energies on other activities. Try spending more time with friends, doing lots of hobbies and activities and then you never know, you might meet someone more your age and you will soon foget about this other girl!
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2009): doesn't besotted means drunk ?
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (6 March 2009):
 Sounds like your first major crush! If she's got a boyfriend then don't tell her because it will cause problems for her!! The best thing to do is to divert your attention to someone else! You need to move on, just stay busy!!! Keep yourself focussed on school work, going out with friends, you could join a youth club...there are loads of things that you can do! X
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