A
male
age
36-40,
*ingspade
writes:I have recently met this amazing women, she is everything I want in a partner. The only problem is, is that she has been married for almost 20 years and has kids. im in my mid twenties, and she is almost 40 LOL! yes there is a hudge age difference, but i cannot pick who i fall in love with. im old enough to know better but i cannot stay away. her husband has cheated on her in the past. the things that she tells me, what i do to her and how i make her feel and its the same way i feel about her. i have never dated a married women before and do not know how to pursue this, yes i do want to be with her and everything but dont know how to let her know, or hint that i would go to the next level with her. any one please help!!!!!!!!!!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2009): Well man, I feel your pain. I am in the exact same boat, except she has no kids. About 2 weeks ago we kissed and ever since then we've finally let our feelings out. We have flirted and talked for about a year now, and secretly we each thought about each other constantly. She said she's thought more about me in the last year than she did her husband, and dreams about what it would be like to be with me. She is to the point of sleeping in separate beds with her husband because it is so bad at home, but feels she owes it to him to give it one last shot. The only problem is, everytime she says that, the next day she says she can't bare to be away from me. She recently went on vacation with him (which was planned almost 9 months ago)and thought that the 2 weeks they were away and together would respark something. Instead, she claims that the whole time she was there, she wanted him to be me. They had sex once, and the whole time she had her eyes closed thinking about me.
Personally, I've been trying to convince her to try working out her marriage if thats what she wants to do, but she can't stay away. I am to the point where I am falling hard for her, and I think I'm willing to deal with the heartache and go for it. She's clearly unhappy, and I seriously think I can fix that. Goodluck to you man, and wish me luck with my endeavors as well!
A
female
reader, flicka23  +, writes (10 March 2009):
 Oh la la! First you have to determine what you really feel for this woman. Maybe you just feel good to be with her because she is more mature than you.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (10 March 2009):
 You need to be mature about this here. This is only lust and passion you are feeling with this woman, it will fade away in time. Dont break up her family on the basis of passion, it is not fair on the children.
You need to think about her family in this situation - she has children and a husband (it does not matter if he cheated, it doesnt make it right that she is doing the same thing). You will be destroying the marriage vows she made, and you will be seriously hurting the children.
How do you see this relationship going in the future? Are you thinking she will leave her husband for you, that the kids will be coming with her and you will all live happily ever after? You seem to be living in a fantasy, that this can work out. You dont even know if she is still sleeping with her husband (she most likely is). You are just a bit of fun to her, and when she is bored with you, that will be it and she will go back to her husband.
Even if she does leave him for you, then what will happen? She will more than likely need you to support her financially, the kids will resent you for breaking up the family and you will spend the next few years going through hell.
Think about this one carefully. I think you need to end it as soon as possible - there will only be too many injured parties in this and no happy ending.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2009): You can't pick who you fall in love with, but you can pick who you allow yourself the chance to fall in love with. And you can pick what you actually do about it too.
Whatever you do, just don't lie to yourself. Take some responsibility for the shit that it eventually causes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2009): Dude,
This sounds of nothing but trouble for you and her. I am sure that your relation with her now is passionate, but, the truth is, that will fizz out.
On top of that, if you decide to keep her for longevity, realize that both of you will age. You are at your best physical state and she will soon be entering menopause.
Once you enter your 40's she will be in her 60's. In our 40's, we men are still very verile. She will be unable to keep up with you.
Hope that you are hearing me. Best of luck in your endeavors.
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