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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Is this considered cheating?
Q. I went on my bf of 1 years my space account and saw that a girl emailed him something called a hubby appliction. On it he said that he wants to have sex with her, kiss her and stuff like that. He has never met this girl and she lives across the ...
A. 21 January 2009: Well technically it is not cheating as he has not met her in person however he is being very disrespectful towards you! I think you need to sit down with him and tell him that his behaviour has upset you and that you wont tolerate it. He ... (read in full...)
I need to stop being mean to him but no matter how hard I try I can't do it.
Q. I'm in my fourth serious relationship now and I'm only 19. However this relationship isn't different to any other, I'm so so happy, he's 22 and I love him with all my heart, we have such a laugh and we connect so well and what's even better is that ...
A. 20 January 2009: I know this is an awful thing to say and I imagine you will not want to believe it but its your age that is making you feel restless at this point in your relationship.
I felt the exact same thing in all of my relationships (I have been in and o... (read in full...)
She loves me but we have nothing in common !!!!
Q. My girlfriend wants to settle down and get married, but I’m just not ready yet! I don’t even know if I want to be with her. I’m 28 and she is 29 We been together for 5 years, she it Italian and I’m from Holland, the last 2 years we out relations...
A. 20 January 2009: I think you have said it yourself, that you dont want to drag the relationship on any further. If you really feel like you have nothing left in common and that you want different things in life then you have to do the decent thing and end the ... (read in full...)
Opinions between physical attraction and real love
Q. Hi friends.I want to discuss on the Topic: Difference between just physical attraction towards a person and real love towards a person. I wants your opinion and frank thoughts....
A. 19 January 2009: This is one of my favourite quotes and I think it sums up perfectly the difference between love and physical attraction - hope it helps!
"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have... (read in full...)
Do dreams connect to the real life? About pregnancy?
Q. Okay. (takes deep breath) I've been having a lot of dreams about myself having a child. I've had the first one that showed me taking a pregnancy test and it showing up positive, all the way to me coming home with a new born baby girl. I wrote down ...
A. 16 January 2009: Well I think it is unlikely that you are pregnant if you have had a period but if you are really concerned then I suggest you take a pregnancy test. Have you had unprotected sex recently? If you have then you will also need an STD check too (your ... (read in full...)
How am I to survive the next 9 days...???
Q. I'm going thru a bit of an emotional rolleroaster at the moment, my girlfriend of six months has just flown off to vegas to see her ex, she needs to find out if she still has feelings or if he will now commit to her in a way that she wants ...
A. 16 January 2009: I think you must have such a strong will and a kind heart to be able to accept what she is doing to you; I dont think there would be another man in the world who would let the love of their life leave to be with another man for 10 days.
Even ... (read in full...)
Can you help me control my cravings and increase my willpower?
Q. I don't have any self control and I would like to know if anyone has any tips for me because I know this is not an uncommon problem... I was bulemic in 8th grade and I have always had issues with my weight. It's not that I am fat, I have just...
A. 15 January 2009: I think you should stop telling yourself to cut out certain foods as this never works! If you tell yourself you cant have something then you end up wanting it more!
I am totally the same, I've been trying to lose weight on and off for years bu... (read in full...)
Whenever we have a row, I text the ex
Q. So Ive been going out with my current boyfriend for 4 years, things have been pretty rubbish for the last 6months, he just seem not to be bothered at all.. so everytime we have a row i text by ex, i still have feelings for my ex.. now i dont kno...
A. 15 January 2009: Only you can answer these questions. You need to ask yourself; Do you love your current boyfriend? What was it in the first place that made you fall for him? What in your relationship has changed in the last 6 months? Do you want to save your ... (read in full...)
I have nothing concrete from him but I'm waiting 6 months for my ex
Q. I am really down and depressed at the moment, I feel it is a lot of effort to smile, but I am trying! I have a constant feeling of anxiety in my chest and keep having to take deep breaths. The reaso is because I am in limbo land at the moment over ...
A. 13 January 2009: You have made the right decision to stay on your own for 6 months, even if you dont have anything concrete to go on from your ex at least you have recognised that you still love him and would hurt someone else in the long run.
Waiting will be ... (read in full...)
Could you try to give me tips or anything that will help me get a boyfriend?
Q. I'm 15 years old, and I know most of you adults would probably say wait you'll have plenty of time for boys. But it seems like MOST girls at my school have boyfriends. Its like everyone is paired up. Walk down the ONE hall in my school, and you'll ...
A. 13 January 2009: I think the best thing to do is to stop looking for one and wanting one! When I was 15, I wanted a boyfriend so badly because all my friends had one. After months of wishing I had a boyfriend, I got tired of thinking about it and pretty much gave ... (read in full...)
The unsociable boyfriend and the girlfriend who cared.
Q. I have been in a roller coaster relationship for the past 4 years. I love my boyfriend but am skeptical about how he is feeling about me sometimes. He does things as if he cares about me but I still question it. He is a homey person and is not ...
A. 13 January 2009: I think you are right to want to seperate, clearly he is not making you happy and you both have very different personalities. Enjoy being single for a while and not worry about having another person to consider in all your decisions!
Every... (read in full...)
The girl I love is still in love with her ex, what can I do?
Q. The girl I love is still in love with her ex, what can I do? I know thers nothing basically i can do but i am now at the point where i am willing to be patient this girl wants to be with me, and truly does like me but right now she just doesnt f...
A. 13 January 2009: Its a really difficult situation, and probably the best thing for her will be the worse thing for you. I think you have to cut her out of your life for a few months, stop seeing her and calling her and give her space.
For you, this will give you... (read in full...)
I hurt myself because of him, and I desperatly need advice!!!
Q. my boyfriend and i have argued for 2 days straight, i have came off my anti depressants because of him, i drank alot last night and dont remember much, i woke up this morning my leg covered in blood. i had tried to carve something in me leg, i dont ...
A. 13 January 2009: All that advice below is great advice but I can imagine as a 16-17 year old you probably wont want to go to your doctor as this is something you can only do when your ready to get help.
As long as you didnt cut too deep into your leg and it doesn... (read in full...)
We couldn't be happier together... but I can't erase his ex girlfriend from my mind...
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for about 11 months now and I couldn't be happier. Problem is, I can't seem to erase his ex-girlfriend from my mind. A little over a year ago, i had moved to the state I live in now, started going to school and met m...
A. 13 January 2009: Well you have to ask yourself what the actual problem is here. Is it that you just dont like the ex-girlfriend and feel jealous of her? Or are you actually worried he will leave you again for her?
It sounds to me like you dont trust him because ... (read in full...)
What can I use to treat an itchy foreskin?
Q. The inside of the foreskin of my penis has been a bit itchy the last few days. I've paid extra attention to washing but it doesn't seem to go away and has become a bit red - not the head of the penis just the inisde of the foreskin. Tonight in was...
A. 13 January 2009: It sounds like you could have a yeast infection and the best way to treat this is to go to the doctors where they will prescribe you with a pill and some cream to treat it. Dont use tea tree oil whatever you do! Thats only good for drying out o... (read in full...)
Why can't my b/f make me have an orgasm?
Q. i am 21 and i have had sex with a few guys in my life and 1 is my boyfriend now.and out of all them.i have never had an orgasm..and me and my boyfriend have sex about 2 times a weak.dont get me wrong it feels good in me.but i can never get there..i ...
A. 13 January 2009: There is nothing wrong with you I promise! Its actually very common that women cant have an orgasm through penetrative sex, normally clitoral stimulation is the only way many women can achieve an orgasm.
Dont worry too much....if it feels good the... (read in full...)
I look at the cd and see the man of my dreams, but I let him get away
Q. Dear Cupid, About a year ago I met the man of my dreams at a wedding I was actually a bridesmaid and he was my groomsmen .. But the thing is I was in a four year relationship with alot of problems..so I broke it off with my boyfriend at the time...
A. 13 January 2009: Well if he doesnt respond then you may have to face that you really hurt him when you went back to your ex and he cant forgive you for that.
There is a saying, women forgive but never forget and men forget but never forgive. This has been so true ... (read in full...)
Does he really want me to give up on him?
Q. Recently reconnected with an old friend from high school. We've been speaking on the phone for almost 10 months and have been able to spend a little bit of time together as well. We have a lot of fun together no matter what we do, great ...
A. 12 January 2009: If you really believe you have a future with him then dont write it off, finding someone that you have those sorts of feelings for is so rare and you should try and hold on to it.
Have you thought of moving to where he lives? I know it will be ... (read in full...)
How can you choose a career that is the right one for you?
Q. I have a pressure over me, I know this is a relationship site, but I had nowhere else to go in such a short time and during holidays.. I am applying to go to a spanish university, and there you have to know what area you want to specialise in, whic...
A. 8 January 2009: I did fashion and textile retailing at Manchester University and really enjoyed it, I got slated by family and friends for choosing this as I got 3 A grades at A level so I could of done anything I want. I now work in a creative marketing agency ... (read in full...)
Girls Girls Girls please help
Q. Question to girls, do you find guys that wear tight pants attractive??? I'm not talking about the super emo tight pants but something that hugs the body at least??? And why do you find it attractive???...
A. 8 January 2009: Well I think the most attractive thing to a girl is a man who looks comfortable in what he is wearing and has his own style.
Personally I do like men in skinny jeans but only when they are into that whole scene, the music etc. Kings of leon fro... (read in full...)
I know he's going to propose, how do I let him down gently? But still keep him with me?
Q. Hi I have been seeing my bf since feb (2008) i live with him and am in complete love with him. Im 19 and hes 30 and he makes me happier than ive ever been before.But he is talking about marriage We are going away to Rome and i know for a fact th...
A. 5 January 2009: Firstly well done on not rushing into marriage...so many young girls would get swept away by the whole situation so well done you for being so sensible and mature!
Well I'm not sure how long you have before you go to Rome but if you have some tim... (read in full...)
My low self esteem won't let me and my new guy be happy together.
Q. I have this new guy in my life that I love very much, But I have this problem... my self confidence is not where it needs to be. Therefore in the past I have been known to sabotage any potiential realtionships because of my fear of the person not ...
A. 23 December 2008: Well I think you have said it yourself...."he is really picky with the women he dates"..... Well he's picked you! Well Done girl!
You have nothing to worry about, he wants to be with you and you should just enjoy it. You need to listen to your ... (read in full...)
Need help with what to do!
Q. Hi, my name Dan and I've made a big mess of everything, on Sat 12:00pm 20th December I went and saw my sister for the last time before she went to adoption, anyway I was expecting to be with my gf coz she knew I was going to be upset but later that ...
A. 23 December 2008: Well first I just want to say that you have made a big step coming on here and talking about it, your very brave for doing that.
Before you try and get your girlfriend's mum to accept you back into your house you need to start focusing on yours... (read in full...)
Will my sister get over what happened at her wedding?
Q. I went to my sister’s (who’s very controlling and stubborn) wedding and my girlfriend join me as well. Even though my sister and gf don’t get along that well. Everyone kept saying my gf is going up stage the bride and her dress left a little ...
A. 23 December 2008: I think your sister has every right to be angry with you, that was her one special day and her brother wasnt there to enjoy it with her! And to top it all, your disrespectful girlfriend swore at her and made a scene. Surely your family is more i... (read in full...)
Should I settle for what I have or go for what I WANT?!
Q. Hello Everyone, this is the first time I register to any site about love/relationships, because I need some advice. First of all, I'm a 22 year old hispanic male that currently in a relationship with a 22 year old hispanic female that has been th...
A. 18 December 2008: Well think about how much your current girlfriend has hurt you by cheating on you with other men....dont go down to her level and do the same thing. If you really have such strong feelings for this other woman then it shows that your current ... (read in full...)
I kissed another guy to see if my feelings for ex will change
Q. Hi i broke up with my boyfriend about a month ago as i didnt have the same feelings for him i was with him for 5 years. i was with im since i was 16 and he's 6 years older. Hes a great person and i wish my feelings were the same i wish i could fo...
A. 17 December 2008: Well if you have been with your ex for 5 years it is only natural to doubt your decision to end things but the fact that you did it in the first place shows that there were problems and that you were not happy anymore. Stick with your decision, it ... (read in full...)
Will he leave me for his models?
Q. I NEED HELP! I have a wonderful boyfriend who I have been dating for 4 wonderful years. He is very artistic and loves to do artwork on my body. Recently he got a job to work for Bubble Magazine. He can't use the same model over and over because ...
A. 17 December 2008: Well this guy has been with you for 4 years...that has to say something! After that legnth of time its clear he loves you, while these models might be beautiful they wont have the personality that you do! I bet he loves you for al your little quirks ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend hates my friend should I distance myself?
Q. Here's one for you. Firstly, I'd like you to read this situaion, and tell me what you think. There is a girl I know. When we see each other, we hug, perhaps kiss on the cheek, are really friendly with one another. I call her gorgeous, or...
A. 17 December 2008: Well from an outsider's perspective the relationship you have with your "friend" is more than just a friendship. There is no way you should be telling another girl that you love her and calling her gorgeous etc if you just want to be friends. Do you ... (read in full...)
What are the side effects of the pill? Should I use them?
Q. Ok so I (15) am planning to finally give my virginity to my boyfriend, and I'm not doing anything with him unless I'm on the Pill AND he's wearing a condom. We have discussed this many times and done a lot of research. I found out that he's very ...
A. 16 December 2008: well I have been on the pill for about 6 years now and it has only ever been a help to me rather than causing any side effects. There are lots of different types of pill, all which do the same basic job but have different properties; for example the ... (read in full...)
What should I do? Marry him or run and forget the best thing that ever happened to me?
Q. I am nineteen and I was lonely so I went on an on line dating site just for kicks and I met this amazing guy, he is a bit older than I am, he is 25 and I fell for him. He also has a child. Also is getting a divorce. I have been with him and have ...
A. 12 December 2008: I cant imagine how hard this is for you, but you have to start thinking about what might happen if you are actually pregnant. If he is family then there is a strong chance that the child may have some serious defects/illnesses and you have to decide ... (read in full...)
How do I figure it out? Should I give him another chance?
Q. I left my boyfriend 4 days ago because we had been having a rough time for the past few months as in it was a one sided relationship in that i was putting in all the effort. The week before I left him he told me he realised how much of a jerk he was ...
A. 12 December 2008: I think with your new guy he is just filling the gap that your ex has left, he's treating you the way you want your ex to treat you so right now I imagine he seems like the man you have dreamed of being with! But it is too soon after you have split ... (read in full...)
My ex is using emotional blackmail--threatening to cut himself! HELP!
Q. i was with this really nice guy for a few months then he dumped me, after which i found it hard to cope with as he got a new girlfriend a week after, even though he asked me to wait until he was ready. he even told me he loved me. we stayed friends ...
A. 11 December 2008: It sounds like he has a lot of issues here, way beyond anything to do with you/your relationship. I had an boyfriend who did similar things when we were together, he would try and commit suicide but before he did he would send me long text messages ... (read in full...)
How do I forget about this guy, and how do I know if he still loves me or not?
Q. I want to convince myself that I don't love my ex boyfriend anymore. The truth is that I still want him in my life, but he's already got a new girl. I spoke with him a few days ago and asked him if he really did like her and his exact words were ...
A. 11 December 2008: The fact that he is with someone else shows that he doesnt care about you as much as you do about him. I'm not sure how long ago you split up but it is only natural to miss him and feel angry at the thought of him with someone else.
Clear... (read in full...)
Does anyone know some great diets for teens that can eat basically anything just small portions with rarely any sweets?
Q. Does anyone know some great diets for teens that can eat basically anything just small portions with rarely any sweets? I want to lose some weight/gain muscle in some certain spots and I was wondering if anyone would know some great exercising ...
A. 11 December 2008: I think at your age your body is still developing so dont be too worried if everything is not even yet, my body didnt get fully into proportion until I was about 17/18. Having some curves is natural for a girl, and it is very rare to get a ... (read in full...)
I actually forget to eat!
Q. My friends have noticed that I'm becoming increasingly thinner and have started to worry. The trouble is that I actually forget to eat and not just for a day, sometimes I don't even start to think about food until a week or longer has passed and I ...
A. 11 December 2008: I definately think you should see a doctor, this will be doing your body some serious harm and it is best to get it sorted now than leave it any longer.
When your body is not getting the nutrition and energy it needs, it will start to eat away at ... (read in full...)
Every time I think that I may be actually getting over him it's like he knows I am and tries to crawl right back into my life!
Q. Two years ago I had started my first job when I had met Dave. As soon as I had layed eyes on him I was infatuated. Within a couple of days knowing him I had made up my mind that I had grew feelings for him. A few weeks later I had found out that he ...
A. 5 December 2008: I know you will be wanting someone to tell you that he will leave his girlfriend for you and that you will together one day but I'm afraid it doesnt look likely, your friends are right in telling you to stay away. The bottom line is that if he re... (read in full...)
Rejection all the time...
Q. I don't like guys any more because they always reject me and it's really unfair. I am shy, quiet, nervous around guys, I have a weight problem, I'm short, not goodlooking just plain with a fat face. I have so much bad luck with them I don't want ...
A. 5 December 2008: I really feel for you, you shouldnt let men affect your self esteem so much but I know its hard not to let them get to you! I am roughly somewhere in between those girls you hate so much and someone like yourself. I have a bit of a weight problem... (read in full...)
Semen in the eye? How is it treated???
Q. Everytime me and my girlfriend are having sex, and she has an orgasm, she pushes me off or tells me to get off after she is done with her orgasm, it just makes me feel unwanted. At least she ends up giving me oral or I have to finish myself, the ...
A. 5 December 2008: You seem to be over thinking everything here, you both seem to be having fun with sex and thats great, just enjoy it instead of over analysing things. Its actually quite unusual that she has her orgasm before you do, many girls find it hard to ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong of me to want to have fun before I settle down?
Q. I told my girlfriend that I think relationships at my age are more to do with fun rather than love and she got really upset. I do love her but I don't want a serious relationship just yet. I'm only 17. I've been going out with her for over a year ...
A. 5 December 2008: You shouldnt feel guilty for feeling like this at all, it is natural at 17 to want to have fun and you should continue to have fun for as long as you can! You already sound mature just from recognising that you are only young, so many people your ... (read in full...)
I feel I never see her... am I best moving on here?
Q. I don't know really how to explain the situation, it's really kinda complicated this might be a little long but I'm not sure really what to do, I'll try to explain it as best as I can. I met this girl last year around this time. At the time she ...
A. 5 December 2008: It sounds to me that she is very confused too. You mentioned that when you met her she was going through a divorce and I would imagine that even a year later she probably wont be over that yet hence why she wont commit to you. She is probably keep... (read in full...)
I'm scared it all ends in tears again...
Q. hi, Please can someone help me, I'm a mess! When I was 19 I met a girl and we got on so well like best friends everything, was good. 2 years on we had a kid got married, after being together 4 years we started to argue a lot, mainly me being ru...
A. 5 December 2008: Well it seems that you both still love each other and care about each other but you are most likely scared that you will get hurt again. You are right in having your doubts about getting back together as you have to think about your child, its not ... (read in full...)
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