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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Pregnancy mabye?
Q. I think im pregnant but im not sure. I started my period today. I thought it was strange because me and my boyfriend have been going at it everyday for the last two weeks. (I know there is only a 25% chance of getting pregnant without using a ...
A. 23 March 2009: The sarcasm in your respose to our answers on here just shows your lack of maturity, a mature grown up can accept criticism and use it constructively whereas a child will respond with sarcasm. I think you may have just proved us all right.
In al... (read in full...)
Is this relationship is worth salvaging?
Q. Dear Cupid, my boyfriend and I had a huge row tuesday and yesterday that started off over something really small. it was saint patricks day on tuesday and I was going to meet my friend in town.later on we my boyfriend texted me saying th...
A. 19 March 2009: Well in my opinion then the answer is no, you shouldnt bother trying to save this relationship as clearly you have anger issues and neither of you can communicate properly.
You do not say if you actually love your boyfriend, if there are any othe... (read in full...)
I'm embarrassed about the size of my breasts
Q. Hi, im 14 years old and have just started high school. I look mature for my age so people usually don't believe me that im 14. I have really big boobs im a DD 36 even though i dont wear revealing clothes guys still notice them and comment which ma...
A. 19 March 2009: There isnt a lot you can do I'm afraid, just wait for the rest of your body to catch up and when you are older they wont look so big and out of proportion. I think you will love them in a few years time, it is just right now that you will feel they ... (read in full...)
HELP ME! This girl is driving me crazy
Q. My girlfriend and I of two years broke up about 2 weeks ago. We started dated pretty early in sobriety I had a year at 23 and she had 6mnths at 20. I know it was early. Anyway we had a really good relationship for a long time, we kept our programs...
A. 19 March 2009: Send it, you dont have anything to lose. What's the worst that can happen? She says she doesnt want you back - but then you are in no worse position than you are in now. And you never know, she might give you another chance!
But I hope you are ... (read in full...)
Why did she suddenly admit that she loves me after all these years?
Q. Hi. I've been friends with this girl since we were teenagers and I've been in love with her since we became friends. It must be thirteen years all in all. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on, we share the same interests, she ...
A. 19 March 2009: Who knows why she left it until now, but really...who cares?! She has told you she loves you, this should make you so happy rather than wanting to question why now?
She might not have realised all these years that you are perfect for her, it might... (read in full...)
Reminiscing about the ex...
Q. I'm trying to gain some insight on things.. I wish my ex would come back but I have questions the situations that happened over the course of the 3 years I was with him. I wanted to reveal some aspects that made me feel insecure which led to a ...
A. 19 March 2009: Crikey, I had to read this one twice just to take it all in! Basically to sum up my opinion, you and your ex are just two very different people that are not compatible.
From your list of reasons why you were not happy with them, I could only rea... (read in full...)
I've changed from a fun person into a paranoid needy person!
Q. Im 27, and scared. I have been in a very fast and intense relationship for 6 months now. I love them more than I thought possible, and now I am terrified things are changing and I will end up being hurt. I need to know how mentally or medicall...
A. 19 March 2009: I dont think you are being that unreasonable in your worries and concerns here, 6 months is a short time for the honeymoon period to be over! And with the internet site thing (I'm guessing here that it is facebook), I dont think it is right that he ... (read in full...)
How can I change him? or am I over-reacting.
Q. Hello, I am 23yrs old and have been married for nearly 2 years. I moved away from my home town 5 years ago and met my husband soon after. He is a lovely man, but i never imagined my life to be like this. I love him very much, he is my strength. ...
A. 19 March 2009: The problem is that you cannot change your husband, and it is unfair to ask him to change. You must have known this is the way he is when you married him, so you will have known what you were letting yourself in for. This is why it is not fair to ... (read in full...)
I'm going to leave a note for him saying "dump her and I'll dump him"!
Q. So - I wonder what's gonna happen next! He and I have other sex partners but we have professed our love for each other. We are both jealous because our partners aren't each other. Why is it happening this way - doesn't make any sense, does it? ...
A. 19 March 2009: I think maybe a note is a little childish here, why dont you just go ahead and end your relationship with your "sex partner" to show this guy you really like that you are serious about being together.
Then the ball is in his court - either h... (read in full...)
Could use a shoulder to lean on
Q. First of all..... Holy shit. Where to begin... I left my job for another in another overseas. My fiancee ( almost 6 years together) had wanted us to end up there eventually... Sacrifices had to be made in order to achieve this. Let m...
A. 19 March 2009: The way I see it is that you cannot take a "break" from a marriage when times get tough, therefore you cannot take a break from your engagement or relationship either. You are either 100% fully committed or you just dont bother at all.
You h... (read in full...)
I feel so unworthy and pathetic. What should I do?
Q. Currently all my friends have boyfriends and I've never had a boyfriend and desperately wanted to have one. Now I've become so down on the fact that it will never happen I've given up caring and looking for that special someone. Does this mean...
A. 19 March 2009: You are still very young so dont give up, and you definately wont be alone forever! I bet your friends are secretly jealous of your single life, I am 21 and have been in and out of relationships since I was 15. I am so glad now that I am single, I ... (read in full...)
I feel so down and sad and confused please help me.
Q. Hi, I'm so confused and dont know what to do at the moment. I met a Swedish girl 4 months ago when I was visiting my parents in Malaysia, I'm based in the UK, now I'm still in Malaysia, on working holiday thing. I met J on the beach, she was supp...
A. 19 March 2009: Without wanting to sound harsh here, I think you are wasting your time. You have fallen for someone that is clearly not available, it sounds like she is not going to make up her mind any time soon so you need to move on!
You have hit the nail on ... (read in full...)
Last night I cheated on my boyfriend...
Q. Last night I cheated on my boyfriend and right after, I told my boyfriend what happened and now were having a talk today, and I don't even know what to say other than I'm sorry. We've been dating for two years and I don't want to stay away from him...
A. 18 March 2009: You need to think about what made you cheat in the first place? Were you drunk? Do you acutally have feelings for the person you cheated with? Figuring out why you did it will be very important, because if you were just drunk then while it is a ... (read in full...)
I want a baby but the man I love is sterile...
Q. I'm ready for a baby, physically anyway. Don't give me the "you're too you and financially unstable to support a child".. I don't want a baby right now. That would not be responsible of me. I know I want children... but my fiancee is sterile....
A. 18 March 2009: I think if it was his brother that would be even worse! It would just be too weird for your fiance and his brother, imagine at family parties and gatherings he would see his own child running around! Thats not a good idea, I wouldnt suggest it to ... (read in full...)
Questions the doctor will ask me...
Q. Hello, I'm 16 and I'm going to have the contraceptive implant today, my mum suggested this but she thinks I'm a virgin. I know my doctor will ask if I'm sexually active and I was wondering will I get into trouble with the law if I tell my doctor I ...
A. 18 March 2009: The doctor cannot tell the police that you had sex at 15 because they have to keep all information confedential. They cant even tell your mum! So dont worry about this, there will be no bad consequences for you in this sense.
You are doing th... (read in full...)
I want a baby but the man I love is sterile...
Q. I'm ready for a baby, physically anyway. Don't give me the "you're too you and financially unstable to support a child".. I don't want a baby right now. That would not be responsible of me. I know I want children... but my fiancee is sterile....
A. 18 March 2009: I think wonderingcat gives some good advice here; you need to find out in what way is he infertile? Does he have a zero sperm count or is there a small chance you could get pregnant? Again, talking to the doctor is the best option here.
With ... (read in full...)
What should I say to her and can she legally try to keep my baby????
Q. I'm 17 and 7 months pregnant, my bf is 18 and both of our parents were shocked yet understanding when they heard the news. My mom and step dad have offered to help us in any wya they can. But last night I over heard my mom talking to a friend of ...
A. 18 March 2009: No she cannot legally try and take the baby away from you unless she has concrete proof that you are not a fit mother, and only in severe cases would a judge rule to take the baby away from its natural mother. She would have to have proof that you ... (read in full...)
Should I leave him and wait for someone to come along that is going to give me what I want?
Q. I'm having problems with this guy!! I'm 19. He is 26. We met 3 months ago. It turned out we lived a street from each other and I started to go round his in the evenings to chill. He never came to mine because I live with my family and they're a ...
A. 18 March 2009: It sounds to me like the age gap between you two is showing here. You are 19, and want all the love and romance you think happens in a relationship. He is 26, and is being realistic because he has just lost his job. If you really like him, then ... (read in full...)
I want a baby but the man I love is sterile...
Q. I'm ready for a baby, physically anyway. Don't give me the "you're too you and financially unstable to support a child".. I don't want a baby right now. That would not be responsible of me. I know I want children... but my fiancee is sterile....
A. 18 March 2009: You dont have many options here I'm afraid. He is sterile, and if you wont leave him then you cant have a child together.
Speak to your fiance, is he willing to allow your eggs to be fertilised from a sperm donor? That way the baby is half you... (read in full...)
Should I get tested or am I being paranoid?
Q. I have been reading posts on this site about cheating and one of the answers said about getting tested for aids. My husband cheated on me between 1992 up until February 2008 with different women(3) I never thought of getting tested but it's ...
A. 18 March 2009: Well you could have gotten a variety of STI's from your husband, including aids. Some STI's have symptoms, others dont. The best thing for you to do is try not to worry yourself about this, but go to your doctors as soon as you can. If you cannot ... (read in full...)
How can I help my brother? He was only trying to protect me?
Q. I'm 21 and most people think I live a very privileged life. I have a twin brother and people call us spoiled, bratty and out of control. I will admit that we have pushed our limited with family, school and the law. But now we both are paying f...
A. 18 March 2009: There's nothing you can do here apart from be there to support him. This was something your brother and his friends did, and no matter what the reason it is not accpetable to put a person into hospital. He does deserve to be punished for his ... (read in full...)
I fear making a clean break from him... help!
Q. I finally found the strength to break up with my abusive bf last week. And I stood my ground. He got really angry because of that. I don't think he ever expected me to stand up to him - he couldn't handle it at all, he got so out of control, I had ...
A. 18 March 2009: I think you are right in wanting to make a clean break from him; this is the best thing for you to do in order to move on from him.
I suggest you delete him as a friend on facebook and make sure your security setting are set so that only your fri... (read in full...)
"We can be together... just not right now"
Q. Me and my girlfriend of 1 year separated yesterday. Here's the situation... both of us know that we're the one for each other and we are very much in love. The reason for our separation is that she has constant family problems. Her Mother and Father ...
A. 18 March 2009: Well what worries me here is that you have said your break-ups aren't average at all - which suggests you have broken up before. I know you may think you are in love and she is the one but to be brutally honest, if you have an on/off again ... (read in full...)
Was it my fault?
Q. Hi well a couple of weeks ago I met up with this guy he kept pestering me to meet him saying he really liked me and stuff and he kept putting pressure on me to meet him and I don't like that but anyways I agreed to meet him, I met him the one night ...
A. 18 March 2009: This guy sounds like a complete idiot that is just desperate for a girlfriend or some female attention. You had a lucky escape from him; he sounds like bad news.
For a guy to be so pushy about a date in the first place, and then not give the time... (read in full...)
Is he right in thinking I owe him?
Q. My boyfriend and i have a 2 year old together. At the time we both had great jobs. I took a year off for maturnity leave. Now, my boyfriend thinks that because he had to help support me when i was on maternity leave...he thinks i owe him this huge...
A. 18 March 2009: He is not right at all! He is the selfish one here! Like Jessica04 said, if you had split up then over the time period where you were on maternity leave, he would have had to pay child support anyway. So basically he was just fulfilling he role as a ... (read in full...)
Pregnancy mabye?
Q. I think im pregnant but im not sure. I started my period today. I thought it was strange because me and my boyfriend have been going at it everyday for the last two weeks. (I know there is only a 25% chance of getting pregnant without using a ...
A. 18 March 2009: It unfortunately does sound like you are trying to get pregnant, which will mean that this is just another silly young girl who wants a baby because she thinks it will be fun and nice!
Thankfully this month you are not pregnant, you have had a pe... (read in full...)
What do I do to save our relationship?
Q. Ive been with my fiance for almost 3 years ( since 17) and for the first almost 2 years it was a long distance relationship. We got engaged while still living in different states and planned on one of us moving. Due to some family problems i was ...
A. 18 March 2009: I guess the problem is that you got engaged too young, and you thought you were in love and would be happy forever but the reality was that you never spent much time together seen as it was a long distance relationship, so when you moved closer ... (read in full...)
Stay with the girlfriend or just keep moving on?
Q. I've been with her officially for 3 months now and I was seeing her for 4 months before we actually got together. The thing is, things were alot better before we actually got into a relationship. Things weren't complicated, we got along sooo so ...
A. 17 March 2009: All of what you have added makes me even more certain - Move On!!!! If she can hide you from her friends and family then you need to get out of this one, fast!... (read in full...)
Stay with the girlfriend or just keep moving on?
Q. I've been with her officially for 3 months now and I was seeing her for 4 months before we actually got together. The thing is, things were alot better before we actually got into a relationship. Things weren't complicated, we got along sooo so ...
A. 17 March 2009: It sounded like it was a bad idea right from the start - she was seeing you whilst still with her ex! Therefore she cheated on him - what did you expect her to do to you? people like that very rarely change, it was almost bound to happen that she ... (read in full...)
I had an affair and now my 15 year old daughter doesn't trust me
Q. About 2 years ago my marriage broke up, essentially I left my wife for another woman. It was a really bad situation where I felt deeply unhappy in my marriage, but instead of just leaving I started an affair, was found out and this bought everything ...
A. 17 March 2009: Thats a fantastic response from Oldguy - I think that you should ignore all of the other negative responses on here as they are not helpful to you at all. Had I been moderating on this occasion many of them would not have been approved.
You c... (read in full...)
Would she get by without me?She's too dependent on me
Q. From the age of 16 my dream was to have a business where I could earn money from my computer and travel the world. No one believed that was realistic but I worked hard over the last 9 years at it and now I am almost in the position to live like ...
A. 17 March 2009: In answer to your question, then yes she will survive without you. She managed before (even if it was only just surviving) and she will cope if you do leave. People are very resilient, and she has her son to get her through the tough times.
But I... (read in full...)
I had the flu and now I have unusually large amount of discharge
Q. I would really like some help. Lately I've had an unusually large amount of discharge. And I mean A LOT of discharge. It has started soaking through my jeans and I've never had it this bad. It looks like normal discharge and doesn't have a bad ...
A. 17 March 2009: I think the best thing to do is go to your doctors and they will be able to help you. Dont feel embarrassed - when you make your appointment ask for a female doctor, and she will have seen it all before so there is no need to feel that you are ... (read in full...)
G/f depressed because she's obese
Q. My girlfriend is depressed because she’s obese. She’s tried quite a lot of diets but nothing seems to work as she gives up after a couple of weeks. Generally I’d say she eats about the same amount that I do and if anything I’m underweight. What can ...
A. 17 March 2009: Diets never work so the first thing she should do is stop dieting! Generally if you start a diet, at some point in time you will always come back off the diet, hence all the weight will go back on. What she needs to do is change her lifestyle and ... (read in full...)
Should I dump this friend to look for potentials?
Q. I have a guy mate who I get on with and try to see on a regular basis. He already has a girlfriend, but lives away from him and I'm 23 and still single. Every time Mum knows that I arrange to meet up with him, she complains that I am 'wasting my ...
A. 17 March 2009: 23 is not too old, I think your mum may just have some old-fashioned values. Dont stop being friends with this guy just because your mum wants you to meet someone, in fact this guy could probably introduce you to more sutiable men than you could ... (read in full...)
He's already got a g/fbut I like him!
Q. Hi well i am 20 years old and single i've been through alot with guys alot of them treat me badly and tell me things that in the end turn out not to be true. But i work full time at a solicitors office and there is a guy who often comes in he is ou...
A. 17 March 2009: Satindesire is right here, I'm afraid you should just leave this one alone. You are allowed to fancy him and be friends just dont try and push this any further, you dont want to be that girl that wrecks other peoples relationships.
And the likl... (read in full...)
We broke up, then he said he wants me back..is it me he wants?
Q. This is quite a long story,hope u can help! i've been with my boyfriend for 9 months, i thought everything was going quite well, we didn't argue that much and had good times together. however,about 2 weeks ago he asked for a break because he wanted ...
A. 17 March 2009: Maybe you are just reading too much into this. This guy has asked for you back (to which you said yes) and he has repeatedly told you he loves you. I think you may just be feeling insecure about the break-up and the involvement of another girl in ... (read in full...)
She's very stubborn and doesn't know what she wants, meanwhile I am in so much pain!
Q. Hello Everyone. I'm not in a good place right now, and could really do with some help and advice. Basically, I met my girlfriend about one year ago and we fell in love so fast, we were practically inseparable. All was perfect throughout the s...
A. 17 March 2009: You need to give her some space to figure things out, it will be hard for her because whenever she sees you all her love and old feelings about your relationship will come flooding back to her. But when she is away from you, she will think that she ... (read in full...)
Do I have a chance to get my ex back?
Q. I have a sort of complicated situation. I was in a relationship with my ex for 3 years and we've known each other for 12 years through the internet. She left me for one of my "friends" about 2 months ago. Her and I still own a house together and she ...
A. 17 March 2009: The anonymous poster here is so right, the more you support her the worse it is going to get. The way I see it, she is getting support and comfort from you, yet she has the excitement of a new relationship and the physical attraction to the new guy. ... (read in full...)
We've lied to each other, but he holds this one against me.
Q. Ok... So I come on here regularly and give advice every once in a while, but now, I really need to hear others opinions. Ok. My boyfriend and I went on a "break" in early november. He stayed where we lived together, and I moved home with my dau...
A. 17 March 2009: Well from his dissapearing act, texting this one number (which I assume is another woman) and then dating someone else whilst you were on a break - this all suggests to me that his heart is not in this relationship anymore.
You did the right th... (read in full...)
Period was 6 days late but two days long?
Q. Well hello I was wondering if I could be pregnant because my period was six days late and I only bled for two days. I usually have regular periods and I thought that maybe my period didn't come because February only has 28 days and mine come every ...
A. 17 March 2009: Well you dont mention if you have had unprotected sex recently? Or whether you have had sex and the condom broke?
Unless you have experienced either of the above then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant. Periods can be different every time, it... (read in full...)
I'm 15, she's 22 and I'm wondering what she feels for me
Q. hi there, i'm a 16 year old lad and i feel as though i'm in love with my friend. she somehow makes me feel alive and more happy, something that i've never felt like for other girls i've got to know. but the thing is she's coming up for 22 and i have ...
A. 16 March 2009: Well I think that she probably likes you as a friend but no more than that, she is just too old for you and wont feel that sort of attraction towards you. I'm 21 and very nearly 22, and when I think about my younger male friends I see them more like ... (read in full...)
My gay b/f says he has always seen his future as being with a woman?
Q. Hey I have a problem and I really need help. I have a boyfriend that is Bi.(I am gay by the way.) We have been together for little over one year. We are having a little issue with commitment. He tells me that he loves me, but he isn't sure if he can ...
A. 16 March 2009: I think it probably a commitment thing, and partially a social thing too. I bet he is wanting to please his family hence marrying a woman will seem like the right thing to do, and I imagine having a child of his own is also something he is ... (read in full...)
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