A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I asked this question before but didnt get a lot of answers so here goes again. I met this guy through a friend. My friend lives with him and he told me that the guy doesnt really hook up and he mentioned that he wanted something long term and that while he is outgoing, he is a little shy when it comes to asking girls out and he is used to girls chasing him. I have gone over to their house a lot and sometimes I would make small talk with the guy but other times, we would get into deep conversations and find out a lot about each other. We finally kissed a couple nights ago and he wanted to have sex but I said "Im not that kind of girl" and he said "I know you're not... but you cant blame a guy for trying because you're sexy as hell." I told him I liked him and asked how he felt about me and he said that I was "very cool." I said that I dont have sex without a commitment and asked him if he wanted to go slow and try dating and he said "I dont know, we'll go with the flow." He asked for my number and I told him to call me the following day. He called and asked what I was up to and we had a casual chat. He went home over the weekend and I had a sports event this weekend not too far from where he lives. He mentioned that he might come and see me then and I texted him and said that I was there and if he had the time, he should stop by but I didnt get a response. I dont know if I should go over to my friends house anymore becaue I feel like it would be awkward. I dont know how he feels about me, I mean obviously he is willing to have sex with me but does he actually want to date me? Should I just give him time or is he not interested?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009): He's not too shy if he's asking for sex. Going with the flow tells me that he's not going to put much effort into getting you or dating you and if he was really keen on you he wouldn't just let things go to chance. I say move on and find a guy that likes you enough to pursue you. This one seems to not be too into it.
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (9 March 2009):
 Give him time. I dont think he would have said those things to you if he wasnt interested, and I'm sure there is a good reason why he has not been in touch.
Maybe going round to your friends house would be a good idea - that way you will see how he acts when you are there. Then you will get a better idea of where you stand. You could also talk to your friend and try and find out if this guy has mentioned you at all?
One other thing to try is just to go for it and ask him on a date. If he is used to girls chasing him then maybe he is waiting for you - so just call him and ask him out! If he says no, or doesnt answer, then that will make it clear that he is not interested. On the other hand, he might say yes and all will be good with you two!
I hope this helps!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009): I would definately not stop going over your friends house, there is no reason for that. Guys can be infuriatingly casual when it comes to relationships where us girls like to make a specific plan. Dont take it personally. It sounds to me like he is in to you sfter all you are 'sexy as hell' to him right? And it sounds like he has no trouble communicating with you. I would give him some time, maybe text him once or twice in the next week and see what happens. Also just so you know, when you make it as though you are busy or not as interested all of a sudden they want you and are blowing up your phone. I dont know why that is lol but it just works out that way. Good luck!
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