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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Will he ever forgive me and take me back?
Q. On May 5th my boyfriend of 2 years dumped me. I feel like my wold has fallen apart, can't eat or sleep and the doctor has me on 3 types of tranqulisers.. Another couple that we had associated closely with split up 4 weeks ago - he just wasn't in l...
A. 14 May 2009: I'm sorry if my advice came accross as harsh and insensitive, it was not intended that way. However even in the light of your follow up, I still stand by what I said initially.
By saying you have "emotional issues" - this is not a dig at you or m... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my b/f want to say "I love you" anymore?
Q. I love my bf 2 death i love him more than i ever loved anyone else in my whole entire life and i truly think he may b the "one" 4 me and he says he feels the same way about me..But last nite he said something that makes me doub his love 4 me.. We we ...
A. 13 May 2009: His response of "I dont feel like I have to say I love you all the time, you should just know it" is a typical male response, I think you may be getting worked up over nothing here. Girls like to be more forward and open with their feelings, and ... (read in full...)
How to climax with just intercourse
Q. I have a problem everytime I have sex I never climax. I can only climax though oral or playing me playing with my clit. The sex be really great I can feel him inside with so much plesure but still can't climax if him or I dont with clit, is there's ...
A. 13 May 2009: A lot of women cannot climax through intercourse, it is totally normal and nothing you should be worried about. Many women just have to accept they will never have an orgasm through sex because it just wont happen.
There are certain position... (read in full...)
Will he ever forgive me and take me back?
Q. On May 5th my boyfriend of 2 years dumped me. I feel like my wold has fallen apart, can't eat or sleep and the doctor has me on 3 types of tranqulisers.. Another couple that we had associated closely with split up 4 weeks ago - he just wasn't in l...
A. 13 May 2009: If he is ready to leave you after 2 years over 1 comment you made in the car then it seems to me that something else is going on here. What you said wasnt even that bad - and in no way does it indicate that you dont trust him.
I agree with Unc... (read in full...)
Is her stomach hurting because she hasn't had sex?
Q. Hello everyone,okay so my friend is 14 years old and she is has had sex with multiple partners,she has told me she used condoms everytime and her stomach has been hurting lately and she told me she hasnt has sex for a while..could that be the ...
A. 13 May 2009: Not having sex will not be making her stomach hurt. That is simply not possible. It will be hurting for some other medical reason - if the pain persists for more than 3-4 days she needs to see a doctor.
I hope this helps! ... (read in full...)
Cheating with a married man, but I know its not right
Q. i am 21yrs,in luv with a married man with 4 kids,my concience is now telling on me and i want to quit him but is pretty tough on both side cos he is more now like my best friend and i believe he loves me that he wish to marry me but i cant, cos of ...
A. 13 May 2009: I understand that you are in love with this man but you cannot continue this relationship. He will never leave his wife for you and he will never marry you - you are just his bit on the side, something to make life more exctiting.
You deserve ... (read in full...)
How to get a straight answer from a guy?
Q. Ive slept with this guy a couple of times, and its been really great and we get on so well. but i dont know if its just me hes sleeping with or ..i just dont know? (btw its long to explain but hes your typical guy that doesnt make much effort t...
A. 13 May 2009: I think it is best to ask him face to face - make a point of asking him if he wants to "do something". You say you wont see him but you say you have been sleeping with him therefore you must see him in person for time to time. The next time you see ... (read in full...)
Getting over a girl I can never have
Q. Hi, Sorry for the essay but it must be said. K i have really strong feelings for this girl at work, id say she's pretty much the most the amazing girl ive ever met, id probably say that even if i didnt love her. Anyways we see each other about...
A. 12 May 2009: This is a tough one, and I dont really think you should go with any of those options! Changing yourself physically and as a person is a terrible idea; no girl should make you change whether you are with them or not! You are who you are, and you ... (read in full...)
Bad patch is over...so why am I still in touch with this new man?
Q. Im 22 and I have a boyfriend of 4 years, we had a bad patch and i met another man gave him my number been emailing alot etc, hes a great laugh we have not done anything we just have the same personality, things got better with my boyfriend but im ...
A. 12 May 2009: Well sorry to be the one to say this but yes you have done something wrong, you are emotionally cheating on your boyfriend. Whilst physically you have not done anything with him, you still went out there, met someone new and started a relationship ... (read in full...)
Am I Pregnant or not?
Q. Right, so i've been having unprotected sex with my boyfriend for the past 5 weeks on and off. Stupid, i know, but we got lazy with the condoms and haven't been worrying about it. I have never skipped a period in my life and my period was due eight ...
A. 12 May 2009: It is definately still possible that you could be pregnant - the nurse is right in what she said. If you have still been having sex right up until (and maybe through?) the time when you period was due, then it is too early for any pregnancy test to ... (read in full...)
An old friend that ruined my life is moving in on the guy I love!
Q. I am very much head over heels for this guy lets call him Troy. Troy is my ex-BF and we broke up because i was pushing him away because after my last Bf and every other male in my life i find it very hard to trust guys. But when i started to trust ...
A. 12 May 2009: You need to realise this is only a guy you like...nothing worth getting so worked up over! You are very young and you have met a guy you like, this should be fun and something that makes you happy not making you feel like you are falling to ... (read in full...)
Do I need professional help?
Q. Dear Cupid I never did this before. Feel lost and confused in what just happened to me, not sure if this is too much or too little info: My first marriage didn’t work out. I walked away from the marriage…Long relationship (5 years dating, 2 ...
A. 11 May 2009: The answer to that question is yes, I think seeing a therapist will be very beneficial for you.
You have way to many issues here and talking them through with someone qualified will really help you. They will be able to help you resolve all the ... (read in full...)
Should I give him another chance after he broke up with me and slept with someone else?
Q. I dated this guy for almost 5 years and we lived together for almost 4. Recently I moved in with my mom to save money and he broke up with me and immediately slept with someone else. Now he wants to earn me back and says hes done with her. He even ...
A. 11 May 2009: Has he given you the real reason why he left you and slept with someone else? It would help for you to know this before you decide whether to give him another chance.
It sounds like he just had a mad moment and did something silly, it doesnt s... (read in full...)
Do some people just grow apart?
Q. Well, me and my boyfriend of 17 months have been really loved up. I felt as though nothing would ever come between us, my soul mate, I was just so in love with him and knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. But as of recently...
A. 11 May 2009: Its a tough one - I was exactly the same as you aged 18. I went away to uni and had a boyfriend at the time - I thought he was the most perfect guy in the world and couldnt imagine being with anyone else. I thought I was going to marry him, have ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being called CUTE!
Q. Ok, I apologize in advance if this turns into a long post. I've been struggling with my self-esteem for years and I'm tired of feeling this way. My confidence problems have to do with not one, but several factors. Please bear with me to explain ...
A. 11 May 2009: I wish I had a figure like yours! I am small (only 5ft 3) and have huge hips and boobs - very "womanly" but makes me look pretty damn fat at my height! I would love to have no boobs at all so I could wear whatever I want - my life is ruled by "can I ... (read in full...)
Exercise help
Q. Ok, this isn't a relationship question, but anyway. I'm 20 years old. It's autumn down here and well, I have a busy schedule with uni and all that. I want to look really good for summer (December), and well, I need to tone and lose weight. However, ...
A. 11 May 2009: Well I am a firm believer that the only way to lose weight and to tone up is to do BOTH cardio and weights otherwise you will see no benefit from either. I am currently trying to lose weight despite having a very busy schedule (I work full time ... (read in full...)
Best position to conceive?
Q. Hi i was just wonering what is the best position to concieve? Now ive heard that missionry is the best but what I really want to know are your chances alot less if the girl is on top?...
A. 8 May 2009: Well think about gravity - sperm have a pretty tough job to get to the final destination without having to battle gravity too! So if you are on top, then it will be more difficult to conceieve because what goes up must come down!
Whereas if you a... (read in full...)
My wife was doing things sexually with some other guy that she wouldnt even do with me!
Q. So my wife and I have been married for only about a year and six months. And just this last summer we had split up over a fight. The break up lasted about three months. And I'm having a hard time getting over what we discussed when we got back ...
A. 8 May 2009: Its clear here you got married too young - you cannot "break-up" when you are married, you have made vows to be together for the rest of your lives in bad times and good. She clearly isnt mature enough to fully commit to you and in reality, she ... (read in full...)
Do guys prefer city girls or country girls?
Q. I live in the country/farm. I am good house keeper and I can cook,clean and I like doing DIY using hammers and plyers. Would a guy like me or would he like city girl with high heels and painted nails and short skirts who works in office compared to ...
A. 8 May 2009: Well it sounds to me like you have lots of good things going on so you shouldnt have a problem finding a man that will appreciate you for who you are.
Where you will find the problem is attracting a man - men love women to be feminine and even tho... (read in full...)
Oral sex? So embarassing!
Q. please help.. this is soooo embarrassing!! ok so ive been in a few relationships the longest being 4 years and im quite adventurous in bed but the problem is when it comes down to oral sex i get so embarrassed! i dont have a problem recievin...
A. 7 May 2009: This is so corny but practice on an ice-lolly (one that is cylindrical in shape)! It is pretty simple as long as you watch the teeth!
When I am giving oral to my boyfriend, I prefer to hold his penis with my right hand at the base (this keeps it... (read in full...)
Friend is dating an old ex of mine...why cant I accept them?
Q. Why cant i accept them? A few months ago i found out my best mate is going out with an old ex of mine, i felt hurt coz she never came to me 1st asked if i be ok about it. I tried to be ok about it all, but every time i think bout them together i ...
A. 7 May 2009: I think the reason why this has affected you so much is because she didnt come to you first - I think that is really bad on her part to not speak with you about this originally.
I guess this all depends on how serious you and the ex were - was it... (read in full...)
Pregnancy test came back negative but I still havent got my period!
Q. My period is almost three weeks late and i have been experiencing several pregnancy symptoms. Increased fatigue, increase in vaginal discharge, and today i felt some sharp stabbing-like pain in my upper left abdomen. I have taken a clear blue colour ...
A. 7 May 2009: From what you say you dont really have any pregnancy symptoms at all, apart from the missed period! Vaginal discharge is not a symptom of pregnancy - more like an STI or thrush (yeast infection). Fatigue could be related to anything, maybe you have ... (read in full...)
Finally moving in with my LDR boyfriend, but I have my doubts he is not the "one"
Q. I have been in this long distance relationship for 4 years, and now we are finally moving in together. But, our relationship has not been in our best. He has lied to me several times, and it has been hard for me to trust him, and we are constantly ...
A. 7 May 2009: Well I am wondering why are you moving in with him if he has continously lied to you in the past? Why agree to move in with him in the first place?
All these doubts are pretty natural before you make a big step in a relationship like moving i... (read in full...)
We are in a long distance relationship, does anyone know what to do to get a visa?
Q. hi im with my lover who currently lives in bodrum i love him so much and want to be with him vis vers hes currently in uni and he wants 2 cum 2 england after hes finished how do i go about getting him a visa what do i need and what do i have 2 do ...
A. 7 May 2009: You cant do anything for him I'm afraid - he has to get the Visa himself. I'm not sure how Visas work but seen as Turkey is not part of the EU (yet) it may be a little more difficult for him to stay here for extended periods of time. I would imagine ... (read in full...)
I'm having an affair with my sister's fiance..
Q. I thought this through over and over and just don't know what to do. Hopefully some of you may be able to help me. I'm sorry if this turns out to be a bit long but I just want people to see the whole picture. I've been with my boyfriend since ...
A. 6 May 2009: There is no best course of action here for you. You have betrayed your sister and your family will never forgive you, it is as simple as that. Family should always come first, you should never put a man above your family! So whatever you do, you ... (read in full...)
I'm almost 16 and I think I'm ready for sex.
Q. im 15 turning 16 and i really want to have sex. i really dont know what to do. i am very nervous. i think im ready for sex but i dont know how to do it. i dont really do anything physical with my boyfriend except make out with him. Im so confused. ...
A. 6 May 2009: There is no rules or advice on "how to have sex" - it is something that comes naturally because it feels "right". If you and your boyfriend have not started doing anything physical together except kissing then it sounds like niether of you are ready ... (read in full...)
Is this really going to give me the answers I want?
Q. Hi me and my husband are going to relate on thursday(he had cheated on me 3 times in 21 years of marriage)we want our marriage to work but i want to know the why's Can a person really change? By going to relate what can i expect do they really h...
A. 6 May 2009: The only way that therapy will work is if you are open-minded and want it to work. If you go in with the attitude that "this is a waste of money" then you will get nothing out of it and you will be completely closed off to any help they may be able ... (read in full...)
How do we get the pill for my girlfriend?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for just short of a year now. We are both sixteen and live in the US. We were both virgins before we started dating and just had our first time a while back. We had talked about it before and bought condoms and ...
A. 6 May 2009: It is a great thing that you are both being so sensible so well done!
Basically she doesnt need anything at all to get the pill - all she needs is to go in and see the doctor. I'm not 100% certain how the birth control clinics work in the US but i... (read in full...)
Weight issues...
Q. Hello, everybody, I know this question doesn't have a defined answer, but I was just looking for opinions: what is the ideal ratio of a guys' weight to a girls' weight in a relationship? Thanks...
A. 5 May 2009: Well I am 5"3 and only date guys who are over 6 foot (weird I know but I really like tall guys!). And I quite like skinny men so there have been plenty of guys I have dated that have weighed less than me!
I am what you would call "curvy" which me... (read in full...)
What do you think I should do in my position?
Q. One of my half brothers,who is much older than myself,is a millionaire.Me and one of my other siblings are unemployed.We have tried very hard to find jobs though,although i have low self esteem and suffer from depression.I feel really jealous of my ...
A. 1 May 2009: I think first of all you have to stop using so many excuses for your own life and start trying to do something about it. Yes your brother has lots of money - but it is HIS money not yours. He will have worked incredibly hard to get to where he is, ... (read in full...)
He's sooo clingy
Q. Here's the thing. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 months and let me tell you it was love at first sight and all. Its an amazing relationship. But something is starting to go wrong. He's becoming too clingy. My goodness is it annoying. I mean I see ...
A. 1 May 2009: I think the best thing to do is talk to him - I'm pretty sure he wont even realise he is doing it! It just seems that he really likes you and loves spending all of his time with you - he wont realise that it is a big turn off for you!
Appro... (read in full...)
She wont let go of her past, should I let her go?
Q. Hi I'm in this relationship with this girl she's 26, extremely pretty and sweet. I believe her main problem is that I've noticed she can't let go of her past, an ex-boyfriend to be specific. She says she is not in love with him, but she's constantly ...
A. 30 April 2009: If she thinks you are a jerk because of this then she is very wrong - what you are feeling is totally understandable and it is unlikely that she would find any man that would put up with her talking about the ex all the time!
Hanging on to thing... (read in full...)
I want to play the field
Q. I'm a 16 yr old boy and I do not have trouble getting/attractive women. not to toot my own horn ,but i am good looking. my problem is commitment to girls my age. i find myself "looking at the big picture" and think it's a waste of time because i'm ...
A. 28 April 2009: You are totally right in not wanting to commit to anyone at your age - you are way too young to be thinking about settling down. And even if you meet girls that think they want to settle down already; they are just disillusioned and in love with the ... (read in full...)
I've been out of the game for a while. Is she into me? What to do next
Q. Alright. Just a little background. I go to this gym frequently for the past year and a half. There is this pretty girl that works there, and I have had a huge crush on her since I saw her awhile back. Well, I finally decided to at least send her a...
A. 27 April 2009: I would say yes things are going well, the major hurdle was making contact in the first place so well done on that! And she replied to your messgage and didnt tell you to leave her alone so thats a good sign!
I suggest you just talk a little m... (read in full...)
Would a pregnancy test come back inaccurate at this time of my cycle?
Q. my period is late. usually my cycle is about every 42 days. after taking the morning after pill twice, my period came faster and i had it within 28 days. it's been more than 7 weeks now since i have had my period. my boyfriend and i had sex about a ...
A. 27 April 2009: A pregnancy test does not normally detect pregnancy until you have missed your period therefore I doubt you would get very accurate results.
About being underage - I'm not sure where you live however I know that in most places you have to be 16 to... (read in full...)
Emotionally Hurt......should I send the letter?
Q. My man and I had an nasty breakup for reasons unbeknow to me. He just stated that I was very disrespectful towards his feelings. We are both adults, and I wanted to talk but I was blamed for something I never did, he went through a terrible event ...
A. 27 April 2009: Well it depends what you want to send the letter for. If you want closure - a final letter explaining how you feel and getting any unsaid feelings off your chest etc then that is ok, send away!
But if you are thinking that by sending this letter y... (read in full...)
Relationship truth opens up world of upset.
Q. This problem is so hard for me right now, but it doesn't just effect myself. I have been with my partner for nearly 5 years, engadged for 1.25 years and love her so very much. It is a long distance relationship that goes from UK to the US so we dont ...
A. 24 April 2009: I think the problem here is you really want to make this work and it seems that she doesnt want it to work. If she said she doesnt know if she wants you anymore - this means that she is thinking this isnt working - I want out. So no matter how hard ... (read in full...)
Can anyone tell me what this girl is thinking?
Q. Hi all, I hav this crush with this family friend. She's 17 and i'm 25. Well basically it's her who initiated and sort of pushed me to say my feeling to her. I didn't formally say that i like her (but we both told a story which is pretty obvious ...
A. 24 April 2009: Basically she is a teenager - this is what teenagers do. One minute they can be really into someone, have a major crush on them etc. But then the next minute they can have found something/someone different to be interested in. You have just got ... (read in full...)
What can I tell or write to my ex wife's parents to make things less awkward after the separation?
Q. I have a question I would like to hear any feedback on. I am currently separated and not in love with the mother of my kids. I can get into details but I will just say that I am not willing to go on pretending that I want to be with this woman. ...
A. 24 April 2009: I dont think contacting her parents would be a good idea, it will make your ex-wife angry because she will feel like you have gone behind her back to give "your side of the story" to them. I understand that you dont want any conflict on such an ... (read in full...)
If you have almost dried semen on your fingers and you touch a girl... ?
Q. Hi, My question is this, if you have semen on your fingers..(but its pretty much dry) and then finger a girl can she get pregnant? I didnt put my fingers inside her at all though, just touched the outside. any help would be great thanks...
A. 24 April 2009: Yes there is a chance. A very very small chance but still a chance. If she misses her next period then get her to take a pregnancy test.
Next time make sure there is no semen on your hands when you go anywhere near your girlfriends vagina. ... (read in full...)
Relationship truth opens up world of upset.
Q. This problem is so hard for me right now, but it doesn't just effect myself. I have been with my partner for nearly 5 years, engadged for 1.25 years and love her so very much. It is a long distance relationship that goes from UK to the US so we dont ...
A. 24 April 2009: Not being able to have children for a woman is basically like having your main function in life taken away from you - we are put on this earth to reproduce so if you cant do that as a woman then basically you are a failure. Now she has a 5% chance - ... (read in full...)
Funk on the chunk
Q. I'm supposed to go down on my boyfriend tonight and I don't want to. The first and only time I did it, I decided it should be the last. I've had other boyfriends and had no problem doing it, actually I liked it. But my boyfriend is uncut and there ...
A. 24 April 2009: He cant be washing properly if there is still a smell after he showers, I think all you can do is talk to him I'm afraid!
Think about it carefully before you do talk to him if he is pretty sensitive, plan exactly what you are going to say and find... (read in full...)
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