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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Evil? or confused?
Q. I've had a bf for 1 year 8 months. We are now on along break due to university work, stress and the relationship becoming more like a friendship. One of my closest friends who i have known for 5 years and spend much of my time doing uni work with ...
A. 6 March 2009: I still think it was a bit of a rebound, when you go out drinking like that and then end up sleeping with someone you know you shouldnt - it is classic rebound really. If it is something you would have never done in normal day to day life then it is ... (read in full...)
Help, I might be pregnant!
Q. Ok so ive had sex about 4 times three with condom 1 without. I know it was wrong not to use one but we did anyways im not going to explain why i didnt use one. :What is the chances of me getting pregnant if I didnt go off but he did... :We dont ...
A. 6 March 2009: If you have only had sex once without protection you could be pregnant but the chances are pretty slim, but it is possible you may just be one of the unlucky ones.
Were you trying to get pregnant or was this an accident? It sounds to me like if ... (read in full...)
My period is late, why could this be?
Q. my period is late. but i havent had sex. i can't be pregnant if i haven't had sex can i?? help....
A. 6 March 2009: No you cant be pregnant unless you have had sex or come into very close contact with semen i.e.if your boyfriend touched his penis after he had ejaculated and then touched you.
There could be a whole number of reasons why your period is late, if... (read in full...)
He annoys me but I also love him, I don't know what to do?
Q. me and my boyfriend havent been together very long but i love him, but recently he really annoys me. like near enough everything he does. he practically lives with me and my family. i think we might be spending too much time together, the real time ...
A. 5 March 2009: I think you are right here, you sound like you are spending too much time together. If it is only the early stages of the relationship you shoulnt be seeing each other too much otherwise you will start to get on each other's nerves.
I understa... (read in full...)
Is there a rule of thumb as to the number of dates you need to go on before having sex?
Q. I have a friend who we started dating. We just had our first date it was fun. We were friends for a while before dating. I think she is cute and would like sex with her. Typically is there a number of dates to go on before talking, thinking about, ...
A. 5 March 2009: There is no such rule and you should just go with what feels right for both of you. If you are both very attracted to each other and cant keep your hands off each other then there is no problem with the two of you having sex (as long as you use ... (read in full...)
I discovered my b/f cheated and has had a child, how can I be sure he doesn't see his child?
Q. me and my boyfriend have two children together and going back last year i found out he has another child in between the age gap of my children he says he wants nothing to do with the other child. i found out he was seeing the child behind my back, ...
A. 5 March 2009: I think that child has the right to a father and if he wants to see the child, you cant stop him. If he says he doesnt want to see the child then that is his decision but you shouldnt be pressuring him not to see the child.
Just encourage your boy... (read in full...)
We are really nervous. What is the cause of strange symptoms after sex?
Q. So I've had unprotected sex with my girlfriend about 2 weeks ago and i finished inside of her. She has not had sex before that for a while. After that night i had sex with her again but she said when i went all the way inside of her she had pain ...
A. 5 March 2009: It could be a variety of things, there is no point in speculating about what it could be. To put you at ease slightly, it does not sound like she is pregnant as these symptoms would be unusual for pregnancy.
Tell her to go to the doctors as soon ... (read in full...)
Do I contact my ex to see if she's ok?
Q. Me and my girlfriend broke up about a month and a half ago for what I found out were many small reasons after having gone seen here 2 weeks ago and spoke to her. Most of them were things like, I did not see her enough or make enough effort to find a ...
A. 5 March 2009: I think you should probably call her just to check if she is ok. But if she does answer, then make sure you are clear you were just worried something had happened rather than wanting to get back together.
I'm sure you would have heard from som... (read in full...)
How do guys stay so skinny?
Q. Obviously I know everyone is different but the majority of men are so skinny. I exercise a lot and watch what I eat but I cant seem to lose weight and so many of my guy friends eat absolute crap and never exercise and they are sticks! Its just not ...
A. 5 March 2009: In general women's bodies tend to hang on to more fat, especially around the tummy and hips because of childbirth! To get pregnant and have a healthy baby, and to be able to give birth naturally, a woman needs to have some amounts of fat around the ... (read in full...)
I don't know if I could ever trust her again...
Q. I recently broke up with my girlfriend of a year. I caught her in several lies involving an ex boyfriend. She felt the need to hang out with him behind my back and tell me she was going elsewhere. Each time she told me she lied to me because she ...
A. 4 March 2009: If there is still an ex involved then there is no way you should be involved, she will only end up hurting you more and lying to you.
I dont think it matters whether or not she cheated with her ex, what matters is that you know she has lied and... (read in full...)
Evil? or confused?
Q. I've had a bf for 1 year 8 months. We are now on along break due to university work, stress and the relationship becoming more like a friendship. One of my closest friends who i have known for 5 years and spend much of my time doing uni work with ...
A. 4 March 2009: You need to remember that it takes two (+ alcohol in this case!) to do something like this. Now I am not condoning your behaviour as he is in a long term relationship but you were single at the time, so technically you did nothing wrong.
You h... (read in full...)
I love my g/f but have a crush on another girl, can this happen in long term relationships?
Q. Hi I am in love with a woman, but lately I have had feelings that can only be described for lack of a better term as a crush for another woman. I love my girlfriend of 3 years, but I cannot deny the feelings I get from this woman whom I have just ...
A. 4 March 2009: Sorry if you thought I meant you had cheated; what I actually meant was you shouldnt continue talking to this woman in case you do cheat.
With regards to your latest update, then no it is not wrong if you look at other women and have sexual t... (read in full...)
I love my g/f but have a crush on another girl, can this happen in long term relationships?
Q. Hi I am in love with a woman, but lately I have had feelings that can only be described for lack of a better term as a crush for another woman. I love my girlfriend of 3 years, but I cannot deny the feelings I get from this woman whom I have just ...
A. 4 March 2009: It is fairly normal to be attracted to other people while you are in a relationship but it is not normal to act on this.
If you love the woman you are with now, and respect her and want to continue the relationship with her then you will not purs... (read in full...)
Torn between my now and my then
Q. Ugh im 18 and seem to think the grass is greener on the other side... Im totally stuck and i would love some advice... Im gonna tell you the WHOLE story so its gonna take a while so make sure you have time before you start reading lol... Well my ...
A. 4 March 2009: Well at least you realise you married this guy for all the wrong reasons, but this doesnt help you at all. You should never have said yes to the engagement never mind getting married, you have dug yourself into such a deep hole here I dont think ... (read in full...)
Why does my weight fluctuate in this way?
Q. Hi, okay so I'm so confused! All weekend I eat whatever I want, then I weigh less or the same (110). but all 5 school days I workout hard and eat really healthy, then I weigh myself and I'm like 112! What's up with that! I really want to get back ...
A. 4 March 2009: I can understand your fear but just eat sensibly and exercise a couple of times a week and you should easily maintain the weight you are now. If it starts to go up then you can begin to diet but just try and maintain the weight you are now.
Make ... (read in full...)
Unhappy unskinny teen
Q. Hey, I'm 15 and I live in New York City. I've never been skinny. I'm a size 6. I've never understood: I have a small chest, big hips, not flat stomach, huge thighs, bad skin, frizzy/ curly hair. I just don't understand! I feel like I lucked out on a...
A. 3 March 2009: I hate the celebrity culture that we have today, especially the American celebrity culture. In the UK, being a size 6 (UK size 10) would be considered skinny! The average size of a woman here in the UK is a US size 10, and that is considered normal, ... (read in full...)
She hurt me... but I still love her
Q. My now ex girlfriend was one of the loves of my life, and she left me... well let me set up some background first... I'm a Pacifist and only defend myself, whether Verbally or Physically when I need too. I met her a year ago and we started Dating ...
A. 3 March 2009: Well after reading that it all sounds like a bit of a mess to me, and not a mess you should want to get back into.
She sounds like a girl who has no idea of what she wants in a man and you sound like a guy who has done everything you can for this... (read in full...)
I'm female and want to be with HER but I'm scared I've found this new side to me...
Q. Hi. A couple of weeks ago, my best friend (a woman) and I went to the cinema and then for something to eat afterwards. Later, we went back to my house to continue the girly night. We went in to the kitchen to get a drink. We were talking then, all ...
A. 3 March 2009: You can still get married and have children in a same sex partnership, you shouldnt feel like you are giving up on that. Civil partnerships are widely available in the UK now and it is a pretty normal thing to do, you could make it like a big white ... (read in full...)
PLEASE help me get my ex back!
Q. hello there.. my gf n i juz broke up a month ago from our 3 years relationship.. we were very happy, great n a loving couple all dis while when suddenly she wants out.. she said dat she couldn't handle my ego nymore n she's lacking in my atte...
A. 3 March 2009: Firstly there are no step by step guides that can help you - all the ones that claim to help you to do this are just scams and are trying to take your money.
What you need to know that every situation is different and no one guide can help you... (read in full...)
Relationship breaking down
Q. I might start by saying I am not the perfect guy, which is the major cause of our relationship break down. I am 20 and my gf is 18. I have known my gf (as a good/best friend) for a year become we got into relationship. Before we got into relatio...
A. 3 March 2009: Well let me start by saying that your question doesnt make much sense and is written fairly badly hence you may not get the answers you are looking for on here.
1. What do you mean by the "extreme level" in your arguments? Have you hit her?
2.... (read in full...)
We want to be together but can't make it work
Q. My ex says she loves me, is desperate to have me back but cant yet, and her greatest fear is that I will not be in her life at all. She just couldn’t bare for me not to be in her life. But I cant just be friends with her, it has to be all or not...
A. 3 March 2009: Did she give you any reasons why she choose not to have you in her life anymore?
It seems a strange decision to make if you both want each other back - did you not tell her you wanted her back? It seems to me you have probably got confused... (read in full...)
I have a new g/f but my ex made me become so paranoid!
Q. Since I broke up with my ex back in December, i've changed as a person and I could do with some advice. I got really close to my ex and things were going great, when one evening she tells me her ex wants her back and things ended. I've since met...
A. 3 March 2009: You have only met this new girl last saturday so surely it is a bit soon to be calling her your girlfriend? You need to take the time to get to know this girl properly before you jump into a relationship!
Once you get to know this girl then you... (read in full...)
Why does my weight fluctuate in this way?
Q. Hi, okay so I'm so confused! All weekend I eat whatever I want, then I weigh less or the same (110). but all 5 school days I workout hard and eat really healthy, then I weigh myself and I'm like 112! What's up with that! I really want to get back ...
A. 3 March 2009: Drinking only tea is not good for you, you will be having too much caffine! Water is the best thing for you to drink, it hydrates you properly and helps to flush out any toxins in your body i.e. caffine!
With regards to the fluctuations, 2lbs is ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend broke up with me, and I am absolutely heartbroken. What can I do to move on?
Q. i feel like crap right now!!!!! im in a terrible situattion!! so i've been going out with my gf for a little over a year and i absolutely adore..i cant live without her, we do every single thing together a we get along so great....we're p...
A. 3 March 2009: If she is moving away then I'm afraid there is not much you can do apart from accept the situation.
There is no tried and tested way to move on, everyone is different and they will all hurt (and heal again) in different ways.
There is noth... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has anorexia. How do I help her?
Q. Hello guys, I've got a big issue here. I don't have a clue how to deal with it, my girlfriend and I have been together for 8 months now, we had a break once and she kind of cheated on me then, Anyway I got over that part, she really needed me...
A. 2 March 2009: You need to make her see that professional help is the only way to solve her problem. When she says she wants to deal with it herself - this is part of the anorexia talking. Anorexia is very much about control - the illness normally comes from ... (read in full...)
Am I being a fool and allowing myself to be played?
Q. I don't know where to start with this. What I really want to know is, am I being a fool and allowing myself to be played? or is she real w/ what she has said... does she really love me and is true?.... I'm dating my best friend. we have been fri...
A. 2 March 2009: I'm afraid you are being played big time here. Never get involved with someone that is living with their ex. It is as simple as that. There will be loads of stuff going on that you will never know about, she will tell you nothing is going on but ... (read in full...)
How can I convince him to leave his family to be with me?
Q. I'm a 42 year old woman, married for 17 years with two boys aged 14 and 12. A few years ago I got in touch with a man I fell in love with when I was 19 but due to family pressures we split up and I started to date my husband. When I met this man ...
A. 2 March 2009: Unfortunately there is nothing you can do here. You cannot force him to leave as this should be something he wants to do for himself.
If he doesnt leave then I guess you may just have to face up to the fact that he will never leave his wife for... (read in full...)
Can you provide some suggestions on how I may react to recent detachment behaviour?
Q. I am in a Long-Distance Relationship. Currently, he has a lot going on. (unemployed, singe-dad of 2, lives with mom and step/dad). He often withdrawls which I’m sure it is for him to refocus on his situation. He’s admitted being somewhat d...
A. 2 March 2009: Well irritability and being tense are definate symptoms of nicotine withdrawal. But the longer he goes without smoking then the less these should bother him.
His behaviour sounds almost classic depressive. If he thinks he has got a chemical... (read in full...)
I know I need to own up but it is going to ruin everything!
Q. My boyfriend who is working abroad asked me to to go out and visit him for a holiday so we started planning and for some stupid reason thats when I stared lying. As the weeks passed I daren't tell my parents about the holiday (I have never travelled ...
A. 2 March 2009: It would be a bit harsh if your boyfriend ended everything just because you havent booked your flights yet! I think you should start by coming clean to your boyfriend - explain that while you have got the Visa and passport sorted, you havent booked ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend gets mad if guys flirt with me.
Q. My boyfriend gets jealous if other men hit on Me. For example, someone sent Me roses for valentines day and I didn't know from who. He got angry at Me. How is this my fault I still don't know who they were from. I went back home for 1 week once and ...
A. 2 March 2009: This relationship is bad news; I think you should get out now before you get hurt any more than you already have!
Why on earth is he still living with his ex? And why are you putting up with him kissing another girl?
This guy clearly has trus... (read in full...)
How do you let go of someone that love & care for so much?
Q. How do you let go of someone who you care for so much and love? I think I need to break up with my bf because he can be very disrespectful towards me, especially when he has been drinking. But the thing is, he can be the best bf I have ever had ...
A. 2 March 2009: You are right in thinking you wont be able to move on if you try and stay friends. I have tried the whole "lets be friends" thing and it doesnt work. It could only ever work if you both mutually decide to end the relationship and one party isnt more ... (read in full...)
Should I leave it for him to call me?
Q. ive met a new guy (online) and we've now had 5 dates in the past 2 weeks. He lives about 30 miles away. We get on really well, lots of laughs and banter and alot of chemistry. He texts me messages to say I make him smile alot etc. I have told ...
A. 2 March 2009: I think you should wait for him to contact you, while some people think this is playing games, it does help in figuring out how the other person feels.
As Ed1337 said, he clearly likes you as he has seen you so much in a short space of time (an... (read in full...)
I become "damp" and wonder if others can smell me?
Q. Several times duringthe day at school I bring myself to a degre of sexual stimulation that I becime damp and being at school I cannot change underwear each time. I was wom\ndering if anybody could smell and know what I have been doing. I cannot ...
A. 2 March 2009: I hope you ignore that first answer as that is totally unhelpfull. However it is questionable why you are getting yourself sexually excited at school?
Surely the easiest way would be for you to stop getting yourself sexually excited at school a... (read in full...)
Could sex be used as a way to celebrate friendship?
Q. I have been working as an English teacher here in Poland. In about a month I am going to leave Poland and return to my home country. My issue involves two women. One woman is also an English teacher at the same language school that I teach at....
A. 27 February 2009: It sounds to me like you are just horny and want sex, with either of these women! Saying thank you to someone normally just involves a nice gift or taking them out for dinner, not sex!
And wanting to have sex with someone from Poland - while I ... (read in full...)
Does sleeping with 4 guys in one year make me a slut?
Q. I have a question... At the age of 16 I lost my virginity to someone who I dated for only 2 weeks but we went on to be together for 4 and 1/2 years. I dated and slept with 3 other guys. 3 of the 4 guys I ended up being in love with but I am now 21 ...
A. 27 February 2009: No of course not, 4 men in one year is nothing really. As long as you are safe then it doesnt matter at all.
Everyone is different with the number of people they sleep with; some see sex as a sacred thing that should be shared between two people t... (read in full...)
If he has changed his mind about me why does he not man up to tell me?
Q. I was on holiday in France for 3 weeks over Christmas and new year and i met up with a guy who I had met and got with 6 years ago. He works and lives there. He was very keen on me and having just come out of a long relationship, i was hesitant. I ...
A. 27 February 2009: If today is the end of a busy period at work for him then see what happens over the next week or so. Hopefully if he is interested in you then he will try and make it up to you for the time he has been busy lately.
If he still doesnt call much the... (read in full...)
My long term b/f has caught me on several dating sites and left. Shall I forgive him?
Q. My long term bf has caught me in chat rooms and several dating sites over the last 9 months. We argue,like a child he walks out and doesnt come back for a week or so. All i do is harmless flirting and the odd guy i text. We broke up and this time i ...
A. 27 February 2009: I think he did the right thing by leaving you! When you are in a committed relationship and you supossedly love that person then you dont flirt with other guys and text other men! This is not acceptable!
Even though it is not technically cheating... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said he was bi-curious, but found out he's more... help!
Q. I am a female who wrote a question about my live in boyfriend. I wrote that I was worried because he had been bi-curious before he had met me. He and I had been dating for 4 months then moved in together. After several weeks I came accross some ...
A. 27 February 2009: You claimed you feel like you dont know him at all, and the truth is after 4 months you do not. You cannot wholly know anyone in that space of time, and the fact is you moved in too soon and now you are paying for that mistake.
Why do you still wa... (read in full...)
I think I may have a problem and that is why I keep on lying to my parents!
Q. I have posted questions on here before about me and my mums bad relationship, which is basically down to me lying about my older boyfriend when we first got together, then lying again a few weeks ago when I applied for my passport so that I could go ...
A. 27 February 2009: Well I'm afraid you either find a way to get the courage to tell them the truth all the time or find a good therapist who specialises in personality disorders/behavioural disorders.
Therapy definately will help you but it can be expensiv... (read in full...)
I think I may have a problem and that is why I keep on lying to my parents!
Q. I have posted questions on here before about me and my mums bad relationship, which is basically down to me lying about my older boyfriend when we first got together, then lying again a few weeks ago when I applied for my passport so that I could go ...
A. 27 February 2009: At least you recognise your lying is wrong, that is a good start. If you have tried to be honest before but it has failed, then I think the best thing for you to do is see a therapist. They can really help you understand your compulsion to lie and ... (read in full...)
I have strong feelings for my friend who does not love her husband, should I confess how I feel?
Q. I am very much in love with a woman who is also one of my best friends, she is also married. Her marriage isn't a good one, and she has talked to me a lot about being afraid to leave her husband because of being alone, because of her kids, and other ...
A. 27 February 2009: I think it is best if you keep your feelings quiet, it will only effect your relationship as friends. She clearly isnt ready to leave her husband so she wont leave him for you either.
If she is ever going to make this decision then she needs to... (read in full...)
Are these signs that he's not interested?
Q. Help! I can't stop thinking about this guy. We started seein each other beginning of january. The last time I saw him was 10 days ago. He lives about an hour away. And since then he only texts back after i do first. I've only talked to him on the ...
A. 27 February 2009: Gosh I cant believe you are aged 36-40, the way you speak is more like a teenager! This all sounds fairly childish - when one person makes more effort than the other it is clear something is not quite right! If he was interested then yes he would ... (read in full...)
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