A
male
age
51-59,
*onfusedintenn
writes: My wife has stated she would be open to a threesome encounter with a male or female. I'm not interested in being the third person in this. What can I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011): So OP, did she have the 3some and did you participate?
LoveGirl
A
female
reader, HKR29  +, writes (14 February 2011):
If you are having even the slightest bit of doubt about whether or not you could be the 'third person' in your sex life then something needs to be addressed! Don't ever let anyone pressure you into doing something unless you are 100% comfortable with it. Try talking to your wife about why she feels a threesome is necessary. If she simply wants to enjoy another man and wants you on the sidelines, then you have problems. However, a threesome, if in a trustworthy relationship can add fun and strengthen your bond. Exploring someone else's body as a couple is exhilarating but remember the third person is always the invited guest - if anyone should be left out, it's them!!!Hope this helps!HKR
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): i don't think any harm if she wants threesome..but don,t b the 3rd person in it. let her see herself if she enjoyes it or not.. fantasy is better than reality. she will understand it.
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A
male
reader, billb +, writes (27 December 2010):
Don't do it it leads to problems
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (18 December 2010):
 You don't have to be the third person. You can be three equal sides of a triangle. If you are 100% heterosexual then a threesome with another man would not be for you. Since this is something new you will be confused about your role in her life. Always realize this is for fun, and not because she wants to be selfish. If licking a man makes your wife happy, would you do it? You probably want to do this discreetly. While everybody talks about a threesome, no one wants to let their families and coworkers know you are actually doing this, so friends are out of the question. There are swing clubs you can join. They are socials, just talking and you have to arrange further meetings privately but at least you know they are decent people. You can also go to bathhouses when they have coed nights. You have to talk about rules and boundaries. This is not something you mention and then do it the next day.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2010): sex in marriage is to be between two people and not including a third party, when you do it becomes mutual cheating and if youre not invovled it becomes 'adultry' well, you have to try to talk her out of it because if she goes on to do it with or without you alot of things are gonna change, because she may want to even have more threesomes something you do not approve of and this will make the two of you draw further apart. In every aspect of your marriage it should be unacceptable
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A
female
reader, Brooklyngirl +, writes (18 December 2010):
 If you feel that way, you should let her know! Don't "go along with it" just to please her. It could destroy your marriage!
That type of open relationship takes a different mindset, and going into it with reservations, will only cause pain.
Fantasizing about such an arrangement is totally different than acting on it! Things never turn out the way we expect them to.
Sit your wife down and have a serious talk about it. Let her understand exactly how you feel.
Good Luck!
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (18 December 2010):
 Announce that you want four people,or maybe even five so as to ensure equality.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2010): that is so hurtful and not of god you are so right not to want to do this and don't it will be cheating on both sides it will destroy you both i'm sorry but it sounds like your wife doesn't love you please be careful and try to get her in church she's missing something in her life but wont find it in someone elses bed but in the arms of our lord and savior jesus christ
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2010): Try telling her you are not interested in a threesome. They arent everyones cup of tea and usually end up causing more trouble than they are worth. Ask if theres anything you could BOTH enjoy doing together to spice up your love life. If thats what shes seeking to do.....
Work together to think of things that dont include other people. The majority of us still prefer an exclusive relationship, so you are not alone in not wanting to 'share'.
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