A
male
age
41-50,
kayc1982
writes:Today I write, I write about my experiences with sex, and love. How I have experienced so much and have come to many realizations about sex and love. First off to anyone who even reads this I know what you must be thinking. That somewhere out there somebody does care. To be honest sex does not matter anymore, no body cares at all about love, marriage, or sex. Nothing is even sacred anymore to anybody regarding this issue. Let me tell a little about myself. I am not tooting my own horn with this but I am very handsome man who stays in really good shape. I have even done fitness modeling and male figure competitions. I have an amazing body and a six pack with a very handsome face which is why many woman and couples have asked me to be their play toy on many occasions. I am not an unintelligent man either. I have done my service to my country and a tour in a war zone over seas. I also am getting my Masters degree and have much money saved. I am writing today to see if anyone cares to read this and maybe can learn something from my experiences. I am 28 years old and I have had sexual intercourse with about 40 woman. I have been in 3somes, foursomes, group sex, gang bangs. I have pretty much done it all. I have had 2 girls use me like a toy and I have also experienced double penetrating a girl with another man. I have lived out all my sexual fantasies and have pushed my boundaries sexually. I have realized that the porn industry and that the media glorifies sex. Sex really isn’t that great, living out all these fantasies have kind of destroyed me and has caused me to not care, well I do care but it’s just too late in some sense. I have read many blogs on how amazing group sex is and how woman have written how great gang bangs are, but the truth is they aren’t. Some of the girls who I have done this with have even said their fantasy is not like the porn films because half the time the guys in the room couldn’t even get hard and it was just plain weird and awkward for the guys themselves being in a room with a bunch of naked men waiting in line to double penetrate this girl. Also having threesomes with 2 girls wasn’t all that great either having to be the focus on too girls just took away from the experience of it being pleasurable. Porn is a lie and so are the people who live out their sexual fantasies. The media is a lie and sex is horrible. I have had such horrible sex with one on one with girls because I wasn’t in love and they weren’t in love with me. It didn’t feel completely right every time and someone always felt hurt and degraded. The most amazing sex I have had was when I was in love with someone very special. Being able to share my body with that person was amazing and I loved knowing that I would be waking up to that same person everyday of my life and that I had her to enjoy experimenting and enjoying pleasure with each other, but this woman I loved betrayed me and cheated on me many times when I was away on deployment. After her I tried getting into relationships but my heart was never fully into it and also been cheated on a lot after that with girls I didn’t even care for that much anyway. Kind of jaded me still though too see how horrible humanity can be! Anyway I now act as a sex toy for single woman and couples who need an extra body to full fill their empty sexual desires and fantasies. I am even contemplating doing a porn shoot. I know what many of you are thinking if you have read this far. It doesn’t really matter anymore because I am hollow and it’s not just me it’s our society which is hollow. It just doesn’t matter anymore because no one cares or even finds sex or marriage sacred anymore, and I don’t have the energy to care or be alone anyway. Sex is like a sport today and it’s all about numbers. I look at other people’s relationships and see they aren’t happy but just going through the motions of having a husband or wife. Why would I want that anyway because marriage doesn’t look full filling anyway the way I see my friends with their significant other, but who am I to judge anyway. I won’t just start a relationship with someone just to be in one. I have fell into the lifestyle of lust and sex and it just doesn’t really matter that much anyway. I see some of my guy friends flip out when they find out their girlfriend or fiancé had all these sexual experiences much like the ones I have had, and yet girls don’t seem to care as much about their boyfriends or husbands sexual past as much. This has let me come to a conclusion that Men and Woman are different, we are not the same. This doesn’t mean that one is better then the other it just means that we are different in many ways but we need each other to complete each other. It’s easy for a girl to sleep with as many guys as possible and to get guys to gang bang her (although it won’t be good even though she lies and says so), but the down side is that it is hard for a woman to find a great man willing to settle down in a relationship, however it is difficult for a man to sleep with many woman because its in a mans nature to plant his seed and for a woman to find a reason for him to stay. This is why men are glorified for having slept with many woman and woman are considered sluts because it’s hard for a man too truly sleep around and if he says he has he’s probably lying anyway. Because of this lie that the media has portrayed woman think it’s ok to try and compete with men and try and sleep around too when they don’t realize that sex is one big lie told by the media and the porn industry. Because of this I have seen many men not want to get into relationships anymore because sex just does not matter anymore. It is not a gift a woman can give away. Since now everyone sleeps around without any sacredness or dignity anymore it just doesn’t matter anymore. Just a food for thought, from what I have found making love to one person for the rest of your life is the best and amazing but that is over now and it’s becoming too late because all this sex has destroyed the soul.
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cheated on me, money, my ex, porn, sex toy, sexual past, she lies, threesome Reply to this Article
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female
reader, cynthiamoon  +, writes (12 June 2013):
Hi Kayc,I loved reading your letter. Finally some one being totally honest. I agree with you 100% except l was lucky and realised the truth when l was a very young woman. I have only slept with two men and I regret sleeping with the one l was not in love with....thats as far as l needed to experiment because l have a very good bullshit radar. Guess what you have found a woman that does care about how many women a man has slept with and to be totally honest l would feel uncomfortable dating a man with your history....sorry just being honest. Its just i want something meaningful and deep....i want a loving supportive relationship were a man can give to me and i can give to him. Most women would laugh at me and shoot me down if l told them the truth about how l feel about sex and men. They think l am frigid but l am not. In actual fact i LOVE MEN and SEX....its just that l love men soooo much that l cannot, wont, and reject the idea of using them sexually. I do not want to use a man financially, sexually or any other way. Am i in the minority.? You bet l am. When l was young men didnt want men because l was not having sex........but guess what? When l got older i was super hot property and had my pickings of the best of the best and my partner is the best. People told me the same lies they told you when you were young....its great, its fun, your missing out blah blah blah but l actually believe that deep down they envied me, they wanted to be like me because they kept trying to put me down but i know who l am and what l want. I want Love, l want to love my man, my children, my work, my home, my cooking. The greatest pleasure and happiness in life comes from the simple, not the complicated. And some my call this dull but l call it special. Sex is special just please just find someone who has had the same experience as you. You can find her. If you are thinking about becoming a porn star then l believe you may have some anger issues with women. You may want to see some one about that because the last thing you want to do is to add more emptiness to your already gaping wounded hole. The soul is resiliant you cannot destroy it, you just have to believe in what you asked for then go look for it. Its rare as the most precious diamonds so you will to exert effort. Good Luck. God Bless.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (30 January 2011):
 You want to be needed as a man, not just a sex toy.
Things I like in a man, stability, strength, ability to make me feel like a woman. I have faith in relationships and I am confident that I am not the only woman saying this. You are just looking in the wrong places and banging your head at the brick wall over and over. Where is your self worth and your ambitions? Don't tell me sex is your only talent and that on your own grave you will be remembered as the guy who's good at sex only.
I don't want to compete with a man. I understand the pain of living in a patriarchal society, where a woman has to adjust to a man's timeline, play hard to get, act indifferent and aloof, follow ridiculous rules like when to have sex, because having sex the first date means you are not relationship material, means you are reckless in your other areas of life, means you won't be a good mother, means you will be a slut and sleep around, means you won't be faithful. How about I just want sex because it gives me pleasure to connect to a man? Also, don't express your feelings too soon, don't talk about the status, don't be clingy and needy, show that you have an active social life, look like a stunning model, be the perfect elusive woman, etc etc.
Despite all the frustrations about being a woman nowadays, I have just begun to embrace my femininity and just trust that a good man would take care of me. Competing with a man will just take that sacred polarity, the magical attraction away.
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A
male
reader, CJH  +, writes (25 January 2011):
 Its an interesting article but you miss one very important thing - your age. At 28, you are indeed an adult. You say you’ve done your tour of duty, have money and are an intelligent guy. I don’t doubt you at all.
Given your experiences its hardly surprising that you’re so disillusioned with the who sex / relationships thing. I do agree that the sacred nature of sex has been somewhat eroded in recent years and fidelity seems to be very rare at times.
Pornography is a lie, of course, we all know that and yes, there are women and situations you should avoid in life. Aside from all of the material and physical pleasures life holds for us though, one of the most gratifying and interesting things about it is that it changes over time. We change, others change, its simply not static.
You’re not too far off your 30th birthday now, I’ve just turned 43. I’ve lived a full life and I’ve experienced much of what you describe. What I can tell you from my viewpoint - that is one where I have over ten years more experience than you - is that things change. Just as quickly as its all gone sour for you, it can also become sweet again.
You’re spot on when you say having sex with somebody you love who also loves you back is what its about, hey, why do you thing they call it making love? What you’re overlooking is the fact that regardless of our past, we can all find somebody else to love, somebody else who can be just as special as the ones who have gone before.
I enjoyed your article but the negative tone prompted me to reply – you’re right some things but wrong about others.
Be happy.
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