A
male
age
36-40,
*olidus
writes:Alright so I've been talking to this beautiful girl I met at my friends bday party for about a month now on the phone. We have awesome convos and sometimes we talk for hours on the phone. She always jokes about us getting married and tells me how awesome I am. Her best friend also thinks I'm awesome and that told her that she thinks she should date me, which she told me is super rare because she never likes any guy she meets EVER. Once she even growled at one she said. So I asked her about us dating and she said "i dunnoim sorry. i would rather just be friends. i dunno what i want right now in my life. still soul searching. i hope u understand n i hope tht u can still b there for me regardless and i can talk to u" i dont want to say that I'm in love with her, but she's pretty much all i've thought about since the day I met her. I know from our conversations what she stresses out about getting a better job so she can support her family, paying for school, car repair bills, etcshe says I'm handsome and an amazing guy, so what should I do? Give up on her or be there for her while she's soul searching and try again later?
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male
reader, Solidus +, writes (26 January 2011):
Solidus is verified as being by the original poster of the question Justwondering13's story is amazing, it's uplifting without promising anything, except the one thing that gets all men through the days...hope. I've heard a similar story from one of my female friends. Her boyfriend started out as her friend and pursued her for almost a year before she finally gave in. Now they live together. However, I digress...I'm going to continue being her friend without expectation or illusion.
The most wonderful thing about tomorrow is the opportunity it brings to discover something better around the corner. I don't know what the future holds for our future relationship, platonic or romantic, but I remain relatively optimistic that whatever way it ends up going that I'll be fine either way.
A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (26 January 2011):
 Justwondering13's story is great to hear, but also the less common outcome. Stay this girl's friend, but don't EXPECT to date her someday. Enjoy her company as much as you can, but do so with the understanding that you most likely will only be her friend. Anything can happen, but don't turn down other opportunities waiting on her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): Anything is possible.My boyfriend and I became good friends two years before we started dating. At that time in my life, I was not interested in a romantic relationship at all. We stayed friends but according to him, he really wanted to be more than just friends since the moment we met. At the time, I had no interest...Well, two years later we started dating (have been dating for a couple of years now as well) and things are amazing! Neither of us could possibly be any happier and are planning to be married in 2012.The moral of the story? Just because she isn't ready right now, it doesn't mean it's not a possibilty later. It sounds like she likes you as a person as you are...so you never know what's in store down the road!With that said, don't just wait around if you don't want to or meet someone else...but if you really think she's worth the wait than who are you hurting?
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A
male
reader, Solidus +, writes (26 January 2011):
Solidus is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt was her friend who never likes any guys whom she meets. Not her.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (26 January 2011):
 I usually won't think that a girl you talk on the phone is the girl of your dreams. If there is no chance to meet, to gradually get closer physically, then she is just a dream and not reality so in a sense you are right, she is a girl but only in your dreams. She doesn't have to tell you the whole truth. How long is the soul searching thing? 2 months, 5 years? It doesn't matter. The thing is she won't meet you privately. I would say give up on the dream, and move on to someone who wants you in real life. Or tell her you would rather talk face to face than on the phone. For her to say she never likes any guy she meets, except you, is both good and bad. It makes you feel special. On the other hand she may have issues with men that she won't share.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (26 January 2011):
 I hate being a wet blanket but if she has said no, she just wants to be friends, you should take that as the answer.
You really do need more than a month of phone conversations to fall in love with somebody .... at this stage she has indicated she isnt interested in taking this further so I would move on and meet more people.
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A
female
reader, iicandyxoxo +, writes (26 January 2011):
 No.
Don't give up on her.
Just be there for her still.
Be open..
If you give up now there may be no chance.
Just keep the way you are && maybe some day in life you guys will be together.
Hopefully sooon (:
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