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... Send *irtball a private message | | | *irtball's profile:Hello DC. Some of you may be wondering where I were I went. My life has taken a turn that has taken me away from here for the time being. I'm not really answering many questions at this time. If you PM me, I will respond, but it may be delayed a week or two. I had many problems dumped on me of my own, so I don't have much energy for the problems of others. I'll be back, but it just may be a while.
Wow, been away longer than anticipated. To sum it up, life sort of sucks for me at the moment. Not looking for pity, just letting you know why I haven't been around. I still hope things will get better soon, but who knows.
ALERT: If you're sending me a PM in regard to advice I've given you, please reference the thread or specifics so I can be on the same page. Lately I've been receiving lots of PM's with an answer to some question I asked, but since the question was from an Anon poster, I have no idea which answer it was in regard to. I give a lot of advice here, so I'm very sorry if I don't immediately recognize you. The question title or a link would be most appreciated. Thank you!
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Hi, I'm the bad bad charming sweetheart dirtball. Although recently I seem to have picked up the moniker "Dirty Balls" despite making sure to clean them thoroughly each day. Anyway, I love this site. I have a BA in Psychology which is part of the reason I think I like this site so much. I posted anon for quite some time before creating my profile. I took to the brutally honest approach which has gotten me in trouble a few times, but for the most part has gone quite well. I enjoy helping people and at times challenging them when I think it is appropriate.
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I've been getting lots of great feedback on my advice and I appreciate it, even if you didn't like it. With that said, I'd like to add a segment here I'll call (drum roll please)
DIRTBALL'S RULES ABOUT PEOPLE AND DATING (in no particular order)
Men don't befriend women who they are not interested in sexually. What do I mean by this? I mean that men will not actively seek out friends of the opposite sex unless they would like to make the friendship progress further at some point. Plain and simple, that's how we operate. Are there circumstances where they are actually just friends? Yes, those would be times when you are forced together in some way. Examples could be; fellow employees at work, a regular customer at work, shared friend circle. The key to watch for is if he looks to spend time with her alone. That's usually the sign that he has a romantic interest in the relationship.
Long Distance Relationships don't work. Go ahead and tell me your success stories, I don't care. Most of the time it is just way too hard for the parties involved. Too much doubt creeps into the relationship. Plus, can you really call it a relationship if you only get to be together rarely? I think not.
Once broken up, you should stay that way. Make up/break up relationships don't work. Why do you always feel the need to break up? It's because things aren't working. Then you miss each other and get back together, only to have the very thing that drove you apart last time do it again. It is a cycle that doesn't get better. All you're doing is preventing yourself from finding someone who will actually make you happy.
People only change if they really (and I mean REALLY) want to for themselves. Changes for the benefit of others are temporary. True change is very hard to make. It requires diligence, effort, and support.
Communication is the most important part of your relationship. So many times we have people here asking about how they should handle a situation when the solution is simply to talk to your partner about it. We forget how important this is. It affects everything. If you are feeling upset about something, it is best that you discuss it with your partner instead of burying it and letting it brew. Later it will explode when it could have just been a calm discussion if addressed right away. Communicate with your partner. If you never talk, why are you even together?
People can love each other and not be right for a relationship. This kind of goes back to the make up/break up rule from earlier but it extends to present partners or exes as well. When someone is part of your life, especially for long periods of time, it is natural that part of the love you carry for them will always be there. Just because you love someone though, that doesn't mean you should be together. That's the case with most of my ex GF's as I'm sure it is with many other people. Sometimes you need to consider if love is making you do foolish things.
You should set ground rules in your relationships. Let your partner know about deal breakers. Deal breakers being defined as things they would do that would cause you to end the relationship. It is good to get these out of the way when you are getting serious. That way, you can refer back to them if your partner does something against said ground rules. An example that I tell all my girlfriends (including friends who I'm not romantically involved with) is that I will never answer the question "Am I fat" or any variation of it (does this make me look fat, does my butt look big, etc). I explain why too. It's a trap question. Answer yes, and that's obvious. Answer no, and "you're just saying that." So I won't entertain that question. I know, silly, but this works for the bigger picture too. Figure out what's important enough to you that you'd be willing to end a relationship. Tell your partner what these things are. If they want to be with you, they should know.
When one person in a relationship has a problem, it's a problem for the relationship. You're not alone in your relationship, and dismissing your partner's problem doesn't solve anything. It makes them feel devalued and unimportant. Why don't you care enough to address something they think is a problem? It's because you know it's a problem but want to hide. Don't hide from it. If you do, it won't go away.
When a relationship ends, you need to give yourself proper time to grieve it. Like dealing with death, you go through the same stages. Denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and finally acceptance. This is part of the problem with rebound relationships. Take the time you need. Don't be afraid to wait.
Let the past be the past. It's over, it's done, and there is nothing that can be done to change it. There is no use dwelling on it because there is nothing that can be done about it. Don't worry about things that cannot be changed. You can't drive a car by only looking in the rear view mirror.
I'm sure there will be more to come, but these are the few I've seen myself repeat a lot in my rather short time here.
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This is, hands down, the best conversation I've seen about porn yet on this site: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-there-no-middle-ground-when-it.html
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Dirtball Rants:
1) What the hell happened to punctuation and grammar? I blame text messaging for the trash I see people write. It's not the content but the way it's expressed that makes me wonder what's happening to society. I realize that we're a multinational forum here, and I give a complete pass to someone who is doing their best despite the fact that English isn't their first language. But the crap I see from Americans, the British, Canadians, and Australians often makes me sick. If any of you read this, your posts would be much easier to read if you used paragraphs, sentences with punctuation, and whole words instead of abreviations like U, cuz, or wut! Quit being so fucking lazy if you want help.
2) There is a difference between the words your and you're. "Your" denotes ownership. "You're" is the contraction of "you are." Saying something like "your lame" is wrong wrong wrong! The same goes for there, their, and they're. "There" is used for things like places (look over there). "Their" denotes ownership (they wanted their cookies back). "They're" is the contraction of "they are." An example, "they're going to the service station over there to pick up their car which was just repaired." I bet that just blew your mind.
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Abreviations.
I use a lot of abreviations when I type advice so I'm going to start a list of the most common ones I see for use as a reference tool.
OP - Original Poster, the person asking for advice.
BF - Boyfriend
GF - Girlfriend
SO - Significant Other, your BF, GF, Fiance, or spouse in other words.
BTW - By the way
FWIW - For what it's worth
TBH - To be honest
IDC - I Don't Care
IDK - I Don't Know
IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
IMO - In My Opinion
IOW - In Other Words
THO - Titty Hard On (erect nipples) |
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I lied to my online love about my age
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A. 20 September 2010: He's going through the range of emotions right now. He needs time to figure out what he wants. Be prepared for him to not want to be with you though. Him being 19 and you 15 is, like I said before, illegal in many places. I don't know the laws ... (read in full...)
Why is a woman hitting on my mom (who has been married 14 years)???
Q. My mom was married to my dad for 14 years. Just less then 2 months ago there is a woman who is eyeing mom and is trying to make contact with my mom. And the other day when mom was at the beach she noticed mom and was looking at mom for long per...
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Why is a woman hitting on my mom (who has been married 14 years)???
Q. My mom was married to my dad for 14 years. Just less then 2 months ago there is a woman who is eyeing mom and is trying to make contact with my mom. And the other day when mom was at the beach she noticed mom and was looking at mom for long per...
A. 18 September 2010: A couple of things. Your story doesn't make any sense. Are you now saying that this woman and your mom actually had an affair? Or is this your fantasy that's blown out of proportion, just like your take on my advice. If I had to guess, it's the ... (read in full...)
I lied to my online love about my age
Q. I am in love with a guy who is 26 and i am 15 years old.... i met him online...he dont know my real age and now i love him alot i want to tell him everything..but i am scared that he will leave me...my intentions was not bad...i was depressed bcause ...
A. 17 September 2010: Good job! I know it was very difficult for you to do. Even if you never hear from him again, know that you did the right thing.
It will likely take him some time to digest what you've sent to him. Let him contact you. If you don't hear fro... (read in full...)
Many of my girlfriend's friends were or are sex workers, should I be concerned?
Q. I'm generally a solitary person, my girlfriend isn't. I've got no problems with that, and neither does she... but what does concern me is that a big percentage of her friends are or were sex workers. Is this a red flag even if she isn't one herself? ...
A. 16 September 2010: By sex workers what do you mean? Strippers, porn actors/actresses, or prostitutes?
It isn't necessarily a red flag, but it is something that could be an indicator of past associations. I'd venture she probably worked with these people in the p... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has a teeth fetish?
Q. My boyfriend has a "teeth" fetish. Or maybe it's a cavity fetish. He always wants to look inside my mouth at fillings I've had done, or any dental work, he likes to feel my teeth with his tongue while we're kissing, and he's even asked if he could ...
A. 16 September 2010: That's a new one for me. You say it's a problem for you, so how have you been handling it so far? Have you just been letting him look and lick? Have you been giving in to all his requests?
When dealing with a fetish, you have to decide if it's ... (read in full...)
Lockdown Love That I Cant Set Free
Q. Dear Cupids, My story started April 30 2010, that's when i met her, that's when everything changed. After a drunken college "knight" out i woke up to find the soon to be love of my life in my bed. What did i do?? Apparently i was to drunk that night ...
A. 16 September 2010: Usually the most intense relationships are also the most unhealthy. Riding the emotional rollercoaster is a good sign you probably shouldn't be together. This being your first true love, you want that euphoria you felt when things were good. The ... (read in full...)
I tingle so much after sex
Q. After having long sex with my husband I usually cum multiple times and when we are done it tingled so bad I can't control it y does this happen it's only happened with my husband ...
A. 16 September 2010: I agree that this is a good thing. I wish I could find a girl who I could make feel this way. Cherish what you two have!... (read in full...)
If someone ignores you does that mean that they like you?
Q. Apparently a method of telling someone you like them without saying anything is by ignoring/not talking to them. To what extent is this true and is this a popular method to use when you like someone? And is there any way at all if you can ...
A. 16 September 2010: Usually when someone who likes you is ignoring you it's because they are trying to get over you. Maybe you or they are unavailable. Here's an example.
I have a crush on a close friend who is in a relationship. I used to go out with her all the ... (read in full...)
Help!!! What does it mean when a guy "blows hot and cold" towards you?
Q. One minute hes soo sweet, considerate and perfect gives you all his attention and then hes a total idiot who doesn't care if you exist. why would he behave like that?? thnx..xx...
A. 16 September 2010: Because he's immature, or there are different people around. Ever seen "Grease?" Picture Danny Zuko when he's alone with Sandy and then when he's in front of his friends with her. Two different people. ... (read in full...)
Why is my wife talking about this guy in her sleep?
Q. Ok here is my dilema. I am happily married for 18 years now. I have never cheated on my wife or has she ever cheated on me. I have no intentions on cheating on her. I love her more than life itself. She is a very kind hearted and sweet person. ...
A. 16 September 2010: Yeah, her contact with this guy is getting out of hand. Talking about someone in your sleep means that they are likely in your head a lot. Then again, I've heard some really random stuff from people in their sleep.
How is your relation... (read in full...)
So why is my ex acting this way?
Q. First he tells me to not talk about him and I said okay.. he then goes I'm not kidding, I reply I'm not saying anything bad about you and why would it bother you anyway? he goes i don't care I just don't want you to say bad things because it would ...
A. 16 September 2010: Because he's a drama queen. Stop replying to him. Ignore him completely. To hell with some ex who thinks he can run your life after your relationship is over.
You're his ex. He can't control you any more and he's scared so he's trying t... (read in full...)
Just the thought of it excites her that much?
Q. I have a rather large dick, 9 1/4 inches long and about as big around as the bottom of a beer bottle. Is it normal for my girlfriend to orgasm JUST by me dangling it over her crotch when naked? She says its just the thought of the size that ...
A. 16 September 2010: Yup. If that's her thing, it may get her off. Women are different then men. Their orgasms typically come more from how mentally they are into it then the physical. Of course everyone is different, but they do function very differently from men ... (read in full...)
Should I apologise to a girl that thinks I'm a stalker???
Q. This girl really hurt my feelings when she called me a stalker... but I was not stalking her - or harrassing her. I just sent her messages on myspace saying 'hi' and that I hoped she had a good day... and then I left her alone. She then came into ...
A. 16 September 2010: Let it go. How often were you leaving those little messages? She has no interest in you, and talking to her will serve no purpose but to make things worse for you. By apologizing to her, that will be just like admitting you were actually stalking ... (read in full...)
Can anybody tell my why your vagina feels different from one day to the next?
Q. My husband accuses me of cheating all the time. His reason is one day we will have sex and my vagina is tight and the next time he says its loose. He tells me a man can tell when another guy has been in his "stuff". I'm NOT cheating on him. Can an...
A. 16 September 2010: So your vagina is "his stuff" huh? Very possessive and insecure in my book.
There are many reasons why it may feel different. Maybe you're more into it and the muscles in there are doing more one day. Maybe you're a bit wetter one day and he f... (read in full...)
Girlfriend says "its him or me" in reference to my friend!
Q. So i told my girlfriend of a year and four months that my friend, one of my best friends, want to come visit me at my college for a day. she goes here to but she hates him. the only reason she hates him is because she thinks he got me to break up ...
A. 16 September 2010: I personally hate ultimatums like this. I don't believe that anyone has a right to tell me who I can or can't be friends with. So if I were in your shoes, I would say that he's coming to visit for one night. If you trust me enough to date me for ... (read in full...)
Why does my husband want me to "whore" myself out?
Q. My husband is always after me to reveal my private bits to other people. For example, if we are going out for the evening with another couple, he loves it if I wear a sheer bra and a blouse that gapes open. We went biking on the path and he got me ...
A. 16 September 2010: "I am not doing this looking for anyones respect. I do it because my husband and I like it. We have fun doing it."
That's the right attitude in my book! Good on you for finding something you like and running with it.
Remember, jus... (read in full...)
Why do all the guys I like ask out the same girl?
Q. Everytime I like a guy, he asks out another girl. And not just any girl, for the past 3 years, the 3 guys I've had crushes on have all asked out the SAME GIRL (and it's not me, fyi). The run down on THE GIRL: we DO NOT get along and haven't since ...
A. 16 September 2010: Here's my theory, you have a "type." Certain things you look for in a guy. The guys you like also have a type. Unfortunately for you, this girl is their type. I'd suggest looking into commonalities between these guys as far as what attracted you ... (read in full...)
Is it unreasonable for me to ask him to commit to a mutual schedule to chat?
Q. I have a distant friendship with a man (for the last two years, email and chat) which has grown into a stronger and more sexual attraction. We have so much in common and hugely attracted to each other. In the last month he has started to say h...
A. 16 September 2010: Yeah, sorry, since you posted Anon, I don't really have anything to call you other than Anon or Original Poster (OP). Sometimes we use abreviations around here that we forget others may not know. Sorry about that!
I think there is somethin... (read in full...)
I lied to my online love about my age
Q. I am in love with a guy who is 26 and i am 15 years old.... i met him online...he dont know my real age and now i love him alot i want to tell him everything..but i am scared that he will leave me...my intentions was not bad...i was depressed bcause ...
A. 16 September 2010: Age is less important than honesty. His love is built around the lies you've told him. He doesn't love the real you, he loves the person you've led him to believe you are.
You are still very young. In most countries it is illegal for someone ... (read in full...)
How can we be together???
Q. My first love has admitted after 9 years apart, that he still loves me and life hasnt been the same without me, i was the only good thing in his life, he said that im the love of his life, but hes stuck where he is because he doesnt want to lose his ...
A. 16 September 2010: Don't be so hard on yourself. Love makes people do silly things sometimes. At least you realized something was afoul before more people were hurt.... (read in full...)
How can we be together???
Q. My first love has admitted after 9 years apart, that he still loves me and life hasnt been the same without me, i was the only good thing in his life, he said that im the love of his life, but hes stuck where he is because he doesnt want to lose his ...
A. 15 September 2010: After reading CaringGuy's response, I'm inclined to agree. Your follow up confirms his thoughts. He's been stringing his GF along for far to long. That's not a good thing. ... (read in full...)
Why is a woman hitting on my mom (who has been married 14 years)???
Q. My mom was married to my dad for 14 years. Just less then 2 months ago there is a woman who is eyeing mom and is trying to make contact with my mom. And the other day when mom was at the beach she noticed mom and was looking at mom for long per...
A. 15 September 2010: I'm saying she found your mom attractive, that's why she was checking her out. Then again, she may be a nurse and noticed a mole on your mom's back that she was trying to figure out if she should say something about.
You don't know her intentio... (read in full...)
Why does my husband want me to "whore" myself out?
Q. My husband is always after me to reveal my private bits to other people. For example, if we are going out for the evening with another couple, he loves it if I wear a sheer bra and a blouse that gapes open. We went biking on the path and he got me ...
A. 15 September 2010: "Do you all feel it's OK for me to do this, even if a big part of my motivation has nothing to do with my husband? Have any of you women, or men, been down this road before? Must it end badly?"
Yup, absolutely ok. You two are starting to share a ... (read in full...)
My friend keeps flirting with my boyfriend and I hate it... what can I do?
Q. Me and my best friend have known each other for 8 years and have been best friends since then, she's always been a bit jealous of my other friends and how i look but now ive been in a relationship for 5 months with a boy i know from air cadets and ...
A. 15 September 2010: She says you're being stupid because she wants you to feel bad so she can keep flirting with him. She shouldn't be sitting on his lap any more than he should be letting her do that. Some of what's written may be a bit of a joke to. Their way of ... (read in full...)
How can I pleasure him?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles, so i have a question that i know will probably make me seem really naive at my age but I really need some advice. Ok so without sounding weird about it, iv got this really good friend and recently our relationship has become ...
A. 15 September 2010: Haha, I love this topic so much I came back already. Mostly because I was so focused on what you can do in my last post that I forgot one important thing. That thing being: Things you can let him do to you.
He'll find great pleasure in touching... (read in full...)
I'm scared to go to college...
Q. it all started when i was 14 and in school. i then couldnt be bothered to go but then my friends started to turn their backs on me and every time i went to go to school id have panic attacks and wouldnt go, so i ended up leaving and being ...
A. 15 September 2010: Usually the best way to overcome fear is to face it head on. Go on some campus visits. Bring your parents along for the first one, then try going by yourself. After all, you're not going to class, so it will be a step. Most of our fears are just ... (read in full...)
I can never be alone with my girlfriend!
Q. So I've been dating this girl for about 2 months and not once have I ever gotten to be alone with her! her friend is always with her! for example she will come to my house to see me and her friend is ALWAYS with her. I didn't mind at first but I'm ...
A. 15 September 2010: "you could sae weve been dating for about 2 months now, when are we going to be alone?"
Was this you OP? You're going to have to do something to make it happen. At this point you can pretty much count on her bringing this friend along if you l... (read in full...)
Was it just a drunken kiss???
Q. Well, I really like this guy who I work with. I started the job over three months ago, and within those three months he's been flirty and whatnot. However, we went out in town at the weekend and ended up getting off with each other a fair few times. ...
A. 15 September 2010: He probably likes you to a degree, but I'm leery of the degree. The more a guy likes you, the more they'll go out of their way to get you alone. The fact that he passed up that opportunity tells me he was actually busy or isn't that interested. ... (read in full...)
If he's not going to cheat on his girlfriend, what's with the texts he's sending to me?
Q. A guy friend, maybe "friend" isn't the right word. )We used to have a casual thing last year which has now ended because he's with somebody now and a few other reasons) has recently been sending me text messages that, in my opinion, friends ...
A. 15 September 2010: I'd say he's fishing for interest. Or he's looking to cheat. Or both. He shouldn't be sending this kind of thing to you, and you shouldn't put yourself in a position to let him cheat. He's a, well, dirtball (HA) and shouldn't be given the time ... (read in full...)
Is it unreasonable for me to ask him to commit to a mutual schedule to chat?
Q. I have a distant friendship with a man (for the last two years, email and chat) which has grown into a stronger and more sexual attraction. We have so much in common and hugely attracted to each other. In the last month he has started to say h...
A. 15 September 2010: Thanks for the kind words OP. As for the battle of head vs. heart... I like to think that the pursuit of love is actually the two coming together. I tend to add a third in there though; head, heart, and genitals. ;) That's why I'm a dirtball, ... (read in full...)
How can we be together???
Q. My first love has admitted after 9 years apart, that he still loves me and life hasnt been the same without me, i was the only good thing in his life, he said that im the love of his life, but hes stuck where he is because he doesnt want to lose his ...
A. 15 September 2010: He's stuck where he is. Does this mean he's married? If so, then you have to tell him that he needs to decide what he wants to do before you're willing to do anything with him.
Normally I'd say go for it. My concern is that after so much tim... (read in full...)
How can I pleasure him?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles, so i have a question that i know will probably make me seem really naive at my age but I really need some advice. Ok so without sounding weird about it, iv got this really good friend and recently our relationship has become ...
A. 15 September 2010: Mmmmmm, I love this question. Really, I'd like to know a little more though. You have TONS of options, and it all revolves around where you are in your relationship, and how comfortable you are with eachother. If you want to share some of that ... (read in full...)
I can never be alone with my girlfriend!
Q. So I've been dating this girl for about 2 months and not once have I ever gotten to be alone with her! her friend is always with her! for example she will come to my house to see me and her friend is ALWAYS with her. I didn't mind at first but I'm ...
A. 15 September 2010: Holy crap LaughAlot2010, I completely missed that! LMAO.
Very sorry OP. Still, I just read what I wrote and it still works if you substitute "gal" for the one time I said "guy."
Again, very sorry I missed that OP. I'll add one more thing. ... (read in full...)
Why is a woman hitting on my mom (who has been married 14 years)???
Q. My mom was married to my dad for 14 years. Just less then 2 months ago there is a woman who is eyeing mom and is trying to make contact with my mom. And the other day when mom was at the beach she noticed mom and was looking at mom for long per...
A. 15 September 2010: Hey hey hey, back up the truck. Being gay doesn't lower someone. If I misinterpreted what you wrote, I'm sorry, but that's how it sounded to me.
Now, on to your question. She probably found your mom attractive. Just because someone finds yo... (read in full...)
We shouldn't be together, but I can't bring myself to break up with him!
Q. So, Ive been dating my ex boyfriend again for like a couple of months now. At the beginning of the relationship we were so happy, we used to hangout a lot. then he went to study abroad for a semester (fall semester) and he broke up with me after 4 ...
A. 15 September 2010: My advice is to let him go.
How much of your relationship has been happy? How much has been heartache? From where I sit, it sounds like the heartache is outweighing the happy. This isn't healthy.
After this much time together, it's t... (read in full...)
Advice on buying my girlfriend a vibrator
Q. So my girlfriend is a bit kinky, and wants to get a vibrator. I thought I'd get her one for fun, but I dont know what to get. I'd ask her, but that would spoil the surprise. They all seem to be pretty small with all kinds of "appendages", or very, ...
A. 15 September 2010: Actually most of the women on here report that 6 or 7 inches is what they prefer. That aside, the Rabbit is a classic and a favorite of a lot of women I've talked to about it. The combination of vaginal and clitoral stimulation is pretty amazing ... (read in full...)
Why does my husband want me to "whore" myself out?
Q. My husband is always after me to reveal my private bits to other people. For example, if we are going out for the evening with another couple, he loves it if I wear a sheer bra and a blouse that gapes open. We went biking on the path and he got me ...
A. 15 September 2010: This is actually a pretty common fetish. Some men go so far as to request their wife sleep with other men so he can watch.
He loves the idea of you turning people on. The fact that you turn people on excites him likely on a couple of levels. ... (read in full...)
My good huband hired a prositute while away at Police training.
Q. MY husband went to Police trainging for a week in another state, the 1st night there he hung out with the other single cops from his job who spoke of prostitutes, he claimed he got him thinking and by night he had a prostitute come to his hotel room ...
A. 15 September 2010: Heck, it's not just that he cheated, it's that he's at Police training and broke the law. WTF kind of judgement does that show?!?
You know your husband better than anyone. You will know if his remorse is real. The fact that he told you righ... (read in full...)
Returning the favor
Q. Hi, Just a quick Q. If your partner performs oral on you does it mean that you have to return the favour to her ..and does it have to be during the same love making session? ..or can it wait till the morning?...lol...
A. 15 September 2010: I typically believe in returning the favor right away. Maybe that's why I love the 69 so much. Sometimes a trade off isn't bad. I'll get you tonight, you get me next time.
Relationships are all about compromise. Talk about it with your par... (read in full...)
He doesn't even try to have sex with me anymore!
Q. My boyfriend doesn't seem to want me as much lately. He doesn't kiss me, hold me, or tell me he loves me as much as he used to. He don't even try to have sex with me anymore! He used to try A LOT! I don't know if he's bored of me or if he found ...
A. 15 September 2010: You're right, relationships aren't perfect. I disagree with Mia though on this one (I still love ya Mia). I don't want to see you back here complaining about the same things again, because I don't get the sense that any real resolution was ... (read in full...)
I can never be alone with my girlfriend!
Q. So I've been dating this girl for about 2 months and not once have I ever gotten to be alone with her! her friend is always with her! for example she will come to my house to see me and her friend is ALWAYS with her. I didn't mind at first but I'm ...
A. 15 September 2010: She's bringing her friend for a reason. That reason could be to make sure you're a nice guy. Or because she doesn't trust herself with you. Or because she doesn't trust you. Or because she has a history that she's trying to avoid...
There... (read in full...)
Girlfriend in heavy debt
Q. My 27 Girlfriend is in heavy debt. We've been together for about a year and things are starting to get serious, we are thinking of renting a place and buying a few things together. I wanted to know what place we could afford and obviously set so...
A. 15 September 2010: Whatever you do, don't combine your finances!
Ok, debt isn't a reason to leave someone or not proceed like you have been. If you feel that moving in together is a good idea (i.e. you want to do it too) then go for it. The reduced rent for both... (read in full...)
Aids & Bj's?
Q. what is the chance of aids from a blow job...
A. 15 September 2010: From getting or giving?
Getting a BJ, your chances are reduced compared to giving one. You always run the risk of getting HIV from an infected person when you have sexual contact with them though.
HIV/AIDS is transferred through the mixi... (read in full...)
I'm afraid my ex called and I missed it, do I call him?
Q. my ex and i have been speaking on and off..we spoke last wednesday and i asked about talking more often and he said ok, no problem woth that..he was sick when we spoke so i said do you want to call when you are feeling better and he said that he can ...
A. 15 September 2010: Obsession isn't healthy. He likely didn't call you, and you won't let this drop. If you're that worried, then call him, or quit freaking out.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/fone-fury.html ... (read in full...)
Is it unreasonable for me to ask him to commit to a mutual schedule to chat?
Q. I have a distant friendship with a man (for the last two years, email and chat) which has grown into a stronger and more sexual attraction. We have so much in common and hugely attracted to each other. In the last month he has started to say h...
A. 15 September 2010: I agree. That's part of why I hate texts or IM chat. You get so much more info with hearing the tone in someone's voice and seeing how they react. Maybe you two could video chat on something like skype. I don't know if it's an option (web cams ... (read in full...)
Is it unreasonable for me to ask him to commit to a mutual schedule to chat?
Q. I have a distant friendship with a man (for the last two years, email and chat) which has grown into a stronger and more sexual attraction. We have so much in common and hugely attracted to each other. In the last month he has started to say h...
A. 15 September 2010: I'm glad to help out. I'm sorry if my negativity put a bad spin on things for you. I've done the LDR thing and ended up really hurt. I define relationships differently now. After all, how can someone be there for you if you only see eachother 3 ... (read in full...)
Is it unreasonable for me to ask him to commit to a mutual schedule to chat?
Q. I have a distant friendship with a man (for the last two years, email and chat) which has grown into a stronger and more sexual attraction. We have so much in common and hugely attracted to each other. In the last month he has started to say h...
A. 14 September 2010: I wouldn't suggest a schedule, but if you two are professing love for eachother, then it isn't unreasonable to ask that you at least check in daily, or almost daily.
You do sound a little lovestruck, and some of your behaviors and feelings... (read in full...)
I lied to my online love about my age
Q. I am in love with a guy who is 26 and i am 15 years old.... i met him online...he dont know my real age and now i love him alot i want to tell him everything..but i am scared that he will leave me...my intentions was not bad...i was depressed bcause ...
A. 14 September 2010: Tell him the truth. Lies can never be the foundation to a healthy relationship. The fact that you feel like you love him is all the more reason why you should be honest with him.... (read in full...)
He doesn't even try to have sex with me anymore!
Q. My boyfriend doesn't seem to want me as much lately. He doesn't kiss me, hold me, or tell me he loves me as much as he used to. He don't even try to have sex with me anymore! He used to try A LOT! I don't know if he's bored of me or if he found ...
A. 13 September 2010: LMAO, for how long this time?... (read in full...)
He doesn't even try to have sex with me anymore!
Q. My boyfriend doesn't seem to want me as much lately. He doesn't kiss me, hold me, or tell me he loves me as much as he used to. He don't even try to have sex with me anymore! He used to try A LOT! I don't know if he's bored of me or if he found ...
A. 11 September 2010: In America the legal age of consent is 18. You're jailbait honey.
You don't actually want advice though. All you do is try to rebut any advice you're given. Good luck. Come back when you're ready to listen rather than fish for the answer y... (read in full...)
He doesn't even try to have sex with me anymore!
Q. My boyfriend doesn't seem to want me as much lately. He doesn't kiss me, hold me, or tell me he loves me as much as he used to. He don't even try to have sex with me anymore! He used to try A LOT! I don't know if he's bored of me or if he found ...
A. 11 September 2010: Flat out, unless he's 18 then smoking and chewing are illegal. If he's under 21 then drinking is illegal. In any case, being with you is illegal.
With the lack of judgment he's already showing, you've got a roller coaster ahead of you.... (read in full...)
He doesn't even try to have sex with me anymore!
Q. My boyfriend doesn't seem to want me as much lately. He doesn't kiss me, hold me, or tell me he loves me as much as he used to. He don't even try to have sex with me anymore! He used to try A LOT! I don't know if he's bored of me or if he found ...
A. 10 September 2010: Wait a second, are you really 16/17? How old is your BF? If he's out drinking, smoking, and chewing a bunch, this is a bad sign if he's this age. I'm not saying I was a saint by any means, but that kind of behavior usually gets worse before it ... (read in full...)
He doesn't even try to have sex with me anymore!
Q. My boyfriend doesn't seem to want me as much lately. He doesn't kiss me, hold me, or tell me he loves me as much as he used to. He don't even try to have sex with me anymore! He used to try A LOT! I don't know if he's bored of me or if he found ...
A. 8 September 2010: Good question Odds. Have you two actually had sex? I agree that if you haven't then his behavior is much more explicable.... (read in full...)
He doesn't even try to have sex with me anymore!
Q. My boyfriend doesn't seem to want me as much lately. He doesn't kiss me, hold me, or tell me he loves me as much as he used to. He don't even try to have sex with me anymore! He used to try A LOT! I don't know if he's bored of me or if he found ...
A. 8 September 2010: Sounds like you've got to quit trying so hard. If he pays more attention when you're giving him less, then that's an obvious solution.
The thing is, I'm wondering if this isn't just a sign that the relationship is fading. Too tired can be a goo... (read in full...)
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