A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I've been dating this girl for about 2 months and not once have I ever gotten to be alone with her! her friend is always with her! for example she will come to my house to see me and her friend is ALWAYS with her. I didn't mind at first but I'm getting frustrated, I'm starting to hate her friend... I don't know what to do or how to tell her nicely that If we don't have time alone this relationship just isn't going work. any ideas? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (15 September 2010):
 "you could sae weve been dating for about 2 months now, when are we going to be alone?"
Was this you OP? You're going to have to do something to make it happen. At this point you can pretty much count on her bringing this friend along if you let her. You'll either have to confront her about this, or set something up where it will be impossible for the friend to come along.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2010): you could sae weve been dating for about 2 months now, when are we going to be alone?
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (15 September 2010):
 Whoops, goes to show I haven't had my coffee this morning. Sincere apologies Op, and yes what I say still applies. Oh and if her friend is gay or straight do you perhaps have a single male or female friend to set her up with?
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (15 September 2010):
 hehehhehehehe my mistake...thanks LaughAlot2010
Poster are you sure you two are dating? Make sure you two are on the same page.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (15 September 2010):
Holy crap LaughAlot2010, I completely missed that! LMAO.
Very sorry OP. Still, I just read what I wrote and it still works if you substitute "gal" for the one time I said "guy."
Again, very sorry I missed that OP. I'll add one more thing. Maybe she's nervous because she's never had a lesbian relationship before. Or her friend is more than friends and they are deciding if you'll be cool to add into their open relationship.
You have a right to some alone time after 2 months, even if it is just on the phone. Communication is the most important thing to any relationship, so talk about it with her. Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, LaughAlot2010 +, writes (15 September 2010):
 Ummm guys it says its a girl??
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (15 September 2010):
Oh the third wheel, no one wants to be it and no one like doing it. If you're girlfriend is the same age range as you, she's past the age of having her friend tag along. I did that when I was in middle and high school. Just have a chat with her, tell her you guys need your alone time and isn't her friend trying of being the third wheel. Let her know that you guys aren't going to really get to know each other with an audience and that you want her to be comfortable around you. You have to be nice to the friend even though you don't like her, is it possible you have a single friend to set her up with so her time is better occupied?
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (15 September 2010):
She's bringing her friend for a reason. That reason could be to make sure you're a nice guy. Or because she doesn't trust herself with you. Or because she doesn't trust you. Or because she has a history that she's trying to avoid...
There are lots of reasons she could be doing this, but I agree that 2 months is getting excessive. I suggest that instead of having her over, take her out and make a reservation for two. When she asks if she can bring her friend tell her that you're sorry but the reservation is just for the two of you. When you're alone together, ask her what's up. Tell her you like her, but are wondering why she will never be alone with you. Don't threaten to break it off or anything like that.
If that idea doesn't work, then discuss it over the phone. She's not likely to conference in her friend for something like that.
Whatever you do, you need to find out why she's doing this.
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (15 September 2010):
Maybe your girlfriend is not comfortable enough to be alone with you.
She might have different ideas, beliefs, or have very very strict parents and she will not or is not allow to be in the same room with a man alone.
If your ready to call it quits if she doesn't accept your ultimatum, than maybe it will be best for you to go separate way without bringing it up.
My personal note after two months and she still does not allow alone time might be a good thing, might mean you found yourself a decent girl and she doesn't easily give away the goodies.
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