A
male
age
36-40,
*ound it Lost it
writes:Dear Cupids, My story started April 30 2010, that's when i met her, that's when everything changed. After a drunken college "knight" out i woke up to find the soon to be love of my life in my bed. What did i do?? Apparently i was to drunk that night to do anything. But there was something from the minute i came home to find her in my apt. (thank you roommate) Our eyes met and it was on. I knew, she knew, after that everything flew by, we were both head over heels.Now to understand me people i am 23 years old. In September 09 i came home from 4 years of incarceration. i never had a serious relationship.I never in all my life knew what love was. I was young stupid and immature but that changed. I received a scholarship and i was on a roll. I never had anyone so into me before, it caught me by surprise. At first it was great.. Then the fights came, she would leave I would chase, I would leave she would chase this went back and forth for a while, then in July only after a couple of months after we met it started to really deteriorate.In August after a visit, we went on a ride, got into a fight, she came upstairs to my place got her stuff left and never came back. I know i treated her so wrong! I never cheated on her, but i just treated her so wrong.When we would fight i would just say the meanest things. I am truly sorry, i told her showed her that, she just wont seem to forgive me, it seems like she wants nothing to do with me,So a week or two of giving her what she says she wants she will text me or call.Asking how everything is. She can be so cold to me, saying such foul things too then act all nice a week later. Im not beat to put up with that either, but im such a softy for her. I know I'm in college and there is girls everywhere that i can rebound off of, but there is no one else that i want. I LOVE HER i don't know what to do. I know she misses me, maybe even loves me still, but i don't know where the future lies with her, it seems like the door is opened still, but i just can seem to walk through it. This is something I never had to go through, growing up I would never show my emotions, growing up as I did to "get emotional" or show your feelings would make you weak, so maybe im stunted in expressing myself or something but now im like a marshmallow so soft! when i think of her i hurt so bad. Any advice please people, i dont care negative, positive whatever.
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (16 September 2010):
 Usually the most intense relationships are also the most unhealthy. Riding the emotional rollercoaster is a good sign you probably shouldn't be together. This being your first true love, you want that euphoria you felt when things were good. The thing is, if you were fighting a lot, that is not a good thing. Fighting, breaking up, making up, getting back together, this is a cycle that will go on as long as you let it, but you'll never be truely happy. You'll be happy for limited amounts of time before the cycle starts over.
Do healthy couples fight? Sure they do. Relationships are about compromise. In a healthy relationship you don't try to hurt the person out of anger. You may be fighting about something, but you settle yourselves down and find a happy medium.
I know it isn't what you want, but the best thing you can do is let her go. Take what you liked about the relationship, and what you didn't like about it, and learn from it. Don't let yourself make the same mistakes in the future as you did with her.
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