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... Send *irtball a private message | | | *irtball's profile:Hello DC. Some of you may be wondering where I were I went. My life has taken a turn that has taken me away from here for the time being. I'm not really answering many questions at this time. If you PM me, I will respond, but it may be delayed a week or two. I had many problems dumped on me of my own, so I don't have much energy for the problems of others. I'll be back, but it just may be a while.
Wow, been away longer than anticipated. To sum it up, life sort of sucks for me at the moment. Not looking for pity, just letting you know why I haven't been around. I still hope things will get better soon, but who knows.
ALERT: If you're sending me a PM in regard to advice I've given you, please reference the thread or specifics so I can be on the same page. Lately I've been receiving lots of PM's with an answer to some question I asked, but since the question was from an Anon poster, I have no idea which answer it was in regard to. I give a lot of advice here, so I'm very sorry if I don't immediately recognize you. The question title or a link would be most appreciated. Thank you!
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Hi, I'm the bad bad charming sweetheart dirtball. Although recently I seem to have picked up the moniker "Dirty Balls" despite making sure to clean them thoroughly each day. Anyway, I love this site. I have a BA in Psychology which is part of the reason I think I like this site so much. I posted anon for quite some time before creating my profile. I took to the brutally honest approach which has gotten me in trouble a few times, but for the most part has gone quite well. I enjoy helping people and at times challenging them when I think it is appropriate.
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I've been getting lots of great feedback on my advice and I appreciate it, even if you didn't like it. With that said, I'd like to add a segment here I'll call (drum roll please)
DIRTBALL'S RULES ABOUT PEOPLE AND DATING (in no particular order)
Men don't befriend women who they are not interested in sexually. What do I mean by this? I mean that men will not actively seek out friends of the opposite sex unless they would like to make the friendship progress further at some point. Plain and simple, that's how we operate. Are there circumstances where they are actually just friends? Yes, those would be times when you are forced together in some way. Examples could be; fellow employees at work, a regular customer at work, shared friend circle. The key to watch for is if he looks to spend time with her alone. That's usually the sign that he has a romantic interest in the relationship.
Long Distance Relationships don't work. Go ahead and tell me your success stories, I don't care. Most of the time it is just way too hard for the parties involved. Too much doubt creeps into the relationship. Plus, can you really call it a relationship if you only get to be together rarely? I think not.
Once broken up, you should stay that way. Make up/break up relationships don't work. Why do you always feel the need to break up? It's because things aren't working. Then you miss each other and get back together, only to have the very thing that drove you apart last time do it again. It is a cycle that doesn't get better. All you're doing is preventing yourself from finding someone who will actually make you happy.
People only change if they really (and I mean REALLY) want to for themselves. Changes for the benefit of others are temporary. True change is very hard to make. It requires diligence, effort, and support.
Communication is the most important part of your relationship. So many times we have people here asking about how they should handle a situation when the solution is simply to talk to your partner about it. We forget how important this is. It affects everything. If you are feeling upset about something, it is best that you discuss it with your partner instead of burying it and letting it brew. Later it will explode when it could have just been a calm discussion if addressed right away. Communicate with your partner. If you never talk, why are you even together?
People can love each other and not be right for a relationship. This kind of goes back to the make up/break up rule from earlier but it extends to present partners or exes as well. When someone is part of your life, especially for long periods of time, it is natural that part of the love you carry for them will always be there. Just because you love someone though, that doesn't mean you should be together. That's the case with most of my ex GF's as I'm sure it is with many other people. Sometimes you need to consider if love is making you do foolish things.
You should set ground rules in your relationships. Let your partner know about deal breakers. Deal breakers being defined as things they would do that would cause you to end the relationship. It is good to get these out of the way when you are getting serious. That way, you can refer back to them if your partner does something against said ground rules. An example that I tell all my girlfriends (including friends who I'm not romantically involved with) is that I will never answer the question "Am I fat" or any variation of it (does this make me look fat, does my butt look big, etc). I explain why too. It's a trap question. Answer yes, and that's obvious. Answer no, and "you're just saying that." So I won't entertain that question. I know, silly, but this works for the bigger picture too. Figure out what's important enough to you that you'd be willing to end a relationship. Tell your partner what these things are. If they want to be with you, they should know.
When one person in a relationship has a problem, it's a problem for the relationship. You're not alone in your relationship, and dismissing your partner's problem doesn't solve anything. It makes them feel devalued and unimportant. Why don't you care enough to address something they think is a problem? It's because you know it's a problem but want to hide. Don't hide from it. If you do, it won't go away.
When a relationship ends, you need to give yourself proper time to grieve it. Like dealing with death, you go through the same stages. Denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and finally acceptance. This is part of the problem with rebound relationships. Take the time you need. Don't be afraid to wait.
Let the past be the past. It's over, it's done, and there is nothing that can be done to change it. There is no use dwelling on it because there is nothing that can be done about it. Don't worry about things that cannot be changed. You can't drive a car by only looking in the rear view mirror.
I'm sure there will be more to come, but these are the few I've seen myself repeat a lot in my rather short time here.
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This is, hands down, the best conversation I've seen about porn yet on this site: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-there-no-middle-ground-when-it.html
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Dirtball Rants:
1) What the hell happened to punctuation and grammar? I blame text messaging for the trash I see people write. It's not the content but the way it's expressed that makes me wonder what's happening to society. I realize that we're a multinational forum here, and I give a complete pass to someone who is doing their best despite the fact that English isn't their first language. But the crap I see from Americans, the British, Canadians, and Australians often makes me sick. If any of you read this, your posts would be much easier to read if you used paragraphs, sentences with punctuation, and whole words instead of abreviations like U, cuz, or wut! Quit being so fucking lazy if you want help.
2) There is a difference between the words your and you're. "Your" denotes ownership. "You're" is the contraction of "you are." Saying something like "your lame" is wrong wrong wrong! The same goes for there, their, and they're. "There" is used for things like places (look over there). "Their" denotes ownership (they wanted their cookies back). "They're" is the contraction of "they are." An example, "they're going to the service station over there to pick up their car which was just repaired." I bet that just blew your mind.
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Abreviations.
I use a lot of abreviations when I type advice so I'm going to start a list of the most common ones I see for use as a reference tool.
OP - Original Poster, the person asking for advice.
BF - Boyfriend
GF - Girlfriend
SO - Significant Other, your BF, GF, Fiance, or spouse in other words.
BTW - By the way
FWIW - For what it's worth
TBH - To be honest
IDC - I Don't Care
IDK - I Don't Know
IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
IMO - In My Opinion
IOW - In Other Words
THO - Titty Hard On (erect nipples) |
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Getting him to take care of himself!
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Disturbing boy in my class
Q. There is a guy in my class who iz always rubbing me.!!!! Rubbing my back legs chest hips butt and trys for my other part also. He trys to put my hand in his pants. He acutualy one stuck his hand down his pants then when I was not paying attentio...
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I lied to my online love about my age
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Married and infatuated...
Q. I wish I could say I was not infatuated. But I am really crazy and having a tough time controlling myself. I am, beautiful, educated and in my twenties, married, without kids leading a very monotonous life. I am happily married, so to say, but I...
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I lied to my online love about my age
Q. I am in love with a guy who is 26 and i am 15 years old.... i met him online...he dont know my real age and now i love him alot i want to tell him everything..but i am scared that he will leave me...my intentions was not bad...i was depressed bcause ...
A. 17 September 2010: Good job! I know it was very difficult for you to do. Even if you never hear from him again, know that you did the right thing.
It will likely take him some time to digest what you've sent to him. Let him contact you. If you don't hear fro... (read in full...)
Married and infatuated...
Q. I wish I could say I was not infatuated. But I am really crazy and having a tough time controlling myself. I am, beautiful, educated and in my twenties, married, without kids leading a very monotonous life. I am happily married, so to say, but I...
A. 17 September 2010: I'd say that's probably for the best. How'd it make you feel?... (read in full...)
Is it unreasonable for me to ask him to commit to a mutual schedule to chat?
Q. I have a distant friendship with a man (for the last two years, email and chat) which has grown into a stronger and more sexual attraction. We have so much in common and hugely attracted to each other. In the last month he has started to say h...
A. 16 September 2010: Yeah, sorry, since you posted Anon, I don't really have anything to call you other than Anon or Original Poster (OP). Sometimes we use abreviations around here that we forget others may not know. Sorry about that!
I think there is somethin... (read in full...)
I lied to my online love about my age
Q. I am in love with a guy who is 26 and i am 15 years old.... i met him online...he dont know my real age and now i love him alot i want to tell him everything..but i am scared that he will leave me...my intentions was not bad...i was depressed bcause ...
A. 16 September 2010: Age is less important than honesty. His love is built around the lies you've told him. He doesn't love the real you, he loves the person you've led him to believe you are.
You are still very young. In most countries it is illegal for someone ... (read in full...)
Is it unreasonable for me to ask him to commit to a mutual schedule to chat?
Q. I have a distant friendship with a man (for the last two years, email and chat) which has grown into a stronger and more sexual attraction. We have so much in common and hugely attracted to each other. In the last month he has started to say h...
A. 15 September 2010: Thanks for the kind words OP. As for the battle of head vs. heart... I like to think that the pursuit of love is actually the two coming together. I tend to add a third in there though; head, heart, and genitals. ;) That's why I'm a dirtball, ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid my ex called and I missed it, do I call him?
Q. my ex and i have been speaking on and off..we spoke last wednesday and i asked about talking more often and he said ok, no problem woth that..he was sick when we spoke so i said do you want to call when you are feeling better and he said that he can ...
A. 15 September 2010: Obsession isn't healthy. He likely didn't call you, and you won't let this drop. If you're that worried, then call him, or quit freaking out.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/fone-fury.html ... (read in full...)
Hubby has his ex on facebook and I don't like it!
Q. Ive always had issues w my hubby and computers. If i am overeacting on any of this please tell me. Last month, he got a facebook and didnt tell me. The only way i found out about it was he was suggested to be one of my friends. No big deal. until ...
A. 15 September 2010: Based on your follow ups, I do think it's time for a conversation about this. He deleted his profile after you found it... That's a really bad sign. I'm with the others who don't buy his excuses. He was up to no good. My guess is that you ... (read in full...)
Is it unreasonable for me to ask him to commit to a mutual schedule to chat?
Q. I have a distant friendship with a man (for the last two years, email and chat) which has grown into a stronger and more sexual attraction. We have so much in common and hugely attracted to each other. In the last month he has started to say h...
A. 15 September 2010: I agree. That's part of why I hate texts or IM chat. You get so much more info with hearing the tone in someone's voice and seeing how they react. Maybe you two could video chat on something like skype. I don't know if it's an option (web cams ... (read in full...)
Getting him to take care of himself!
Q. Do any of you have any success in getting your husbands to take care of their own "needs" more often than not?...
A. 15 September 2010: Good luck, let us know how it works out for you!... (read in full...)
Married and infatuated...
Q. I wish I could say I was not infatuated. But I am really crazy and having a tough time controlling myself. I am, beautiful, educated and in my twenties, married, without kids leading a very monotonous life. I am happily married, so to say, but I...
A. 15 September 2010: Interesting. I was picturing something like what you described, but I wanted to make sure. I think your decision is the right one. Take your time. Analyze your body language, and see if he's initiating or reciprocating these signals.
Still... (read in full...)
Disturbing boy in my class
Q. There is a guy in my class who iz always rubbing me.!!!! Rubbing my back legs chest hips butt and trys for my other part also. He trys to put my hand in his pants. He acutualy one stuck his hand down his pants then when I was not paying attentio...
A. 15 September 2010: Yes, tell somebody. What he is doing is sexual harrassment and is not tolerated in schools. It cannot be ignored. Great strides have been made in the last couple of decades to protect people from behavior like you are experiencing.
File ... (read in full...)
How can I make him stop treating me like a child?
Q. ok so i like this guy who is alot older than me and he has said that he likes me as well. the only problem is that at certain times he seem to just see me as a child still..how can i get him to realize that i am no longer a child?...
A. 15 September 2010: You can't. You are still a child in his eyes. Your best bet is to be yourself. If he can love you for who you are, then the age won't matter. If he can't get past it, then your relationship isn't meant to be.... (read in full...)
Glitter on boyfriend's face!
Q. Hi everyone…I’m hoping someone can give me some advice. Last night I went to see my boyfriend after he got off work. When we were sitting together I noticed a small piece of glitter on the bottom of his nostril. Just one piece. I got upset and st...
A. 15 September 2010: OH MY GOD YES!!!! Let it go. Give him a BIG apology. An hope he forgives you.
Otherwise you need to move on and work on your trust issues. If you can't trust someone who has given you (as you said) NO reason to doubt him, then the issue li... (read in full...)
He wants to marry me but how am I supposed to live with this?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are being a couple for a year now. A few months ago we had a little fight and I told him, in my anger and between the lines, that if he wants to leave this relationship, he's free to do it. He said that he'd be OK whether he...
A. 15 September 2010: "But paradoxically I don't feel like talking about myself or looking for sympathy. Then why do I act like a drama queen when I'm with my boyfriend?"
It's exactly because you're not getting that stuff out elsewhere. It's also because he's one of t... (read in full...)
My boyfriend saw me kissing someone else!
Q. I was at a club with a guy friend. We kissed a few times. But there's a problem I was going out with someone at the time and he so happens to be a the same night club as me. He saw me kissing him. Now the guy that was my boyfriend says to me that he ...
A. 15 September 2010: "What should I do to get him to love me again?"
You're hilarious. There is never anything you can do to get someone to love you. They either do or they don't, but you can't control someone else's emotions.
You cheated on him. The fact that y... (read in full...)
Do I chose the ex fiance or the new guy?
Q. How to choose between 2 guys I am currently in a similar position me and my ex fiancé were together for 5 years we would have been getting married this November then in may of this year he cheated on me with this woman close to his work he says it ...
A. 15 September 2010: An ex who cheated on you isn't worth your time. Let him stay in your past.... (read in full...)
Why won't my boyfriend put on facebook that he is in a relationship
Q. My bf friend, put on facebook that he has a relationship with a girl, sooo then why the hell doesnt my bf dooo that. He wont put where in a relationship. And we have been dating for awhile, and we have had sex. Whats wrong with him??...
A. 15 September 2010: He's a dumb ass. That's all I got. Maybe he doesn't know how. Or maybe he's playing you. What did he say when you talked to him about it? You have talked to him about it right?
If you haven't, then that's what you have to do. I'd make a j... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says he is comfortable with me but not the relationship?
Q. hi i need someone to answer my questions and give me some advice on thurday my boyfriend and i had some awesome sex i have never had sex like dat with him before he is my first that night he never called until sunday i knew some thing was wrong.when ...
A. 15 September 2010: I'm sorry to say this but it sounds like he used you. He's likely going to use this other girl as well. How long were you together? ... (read in full...)
Frustrating sex life with husband. Thinking of trying anal or becoming bi
Q. i am maried,for 7 yrs and my sex life is not good.my husband dooesnt like sex like me.never had a sex toy cant allow me to have one and same goes for masterbation.lately i have been thinking about anal sex but he refuses saying its wrong is it ...
A. 15 September 2010: What would your husband do if you got a toy? I'd suggest that before having an affair, especially with a woman. Well, unless your goal is to leave your husband, because that sounds like what you really want. If you're not sexually compatable, ... (read in full...)
Why can't I conceive yet?
Q. hi i and the coil in for 4 years and i got it took out last tuesday this month i had intercourse wit my husband and he came and i done the test on monday but it came back negative can you tell mewhat the problem could be that i can't conceive yet ...
A. 15 September 2010: After long term birth control it can take a while for your body to be ready to conceive. Also, most people have to try multiple times in order to conceive. It's not like it magically happens the first time you have sex without contraception, well ... (read in full...)
Hubby has his ex on facebook and I don't like it!
Q. Ive always had issues w my hubby and computers. If i am overeacting on any of this please tell me. Last month, he got a facebook and didnt tell me. The only way i found out about it was he was suggested to be one of my friends. No big deal. until ...
A. 15 September 2010: The facebook stuff is less sketchy then the behavior he's exhibiting. I can see why you're nervous. Are his ex gf's his only friends on there? That's not good. If he has other friends, then that is less of an issue.
Has he added you yet? Ha... (read in full...)
I don't want to have this dream again because I know I can't have this girl
Q. Last night I had a terrible dream. It was a dream in a dream, so I went to sleep and woke up to a dream that was some likeness of the Denver I live in. In that dream I went to sleep and had a dream that my last girlfriend told me she wanted me back. ...
A. 15 September 2010: Unfortunately you can't control what you dream about. It just doesn't work that way. I find that my dreams usually revolve around things I've had on my mind a lot. Also, an exercise I use to get to sleep sometimes is to start a dream. Lucid ... (read in full...)
Is it unreasonable for me to ask him to commit to a mutual schedule to chat?
Q. I have a distant friendship with a man (for the last two years, email and chat) which has grown into a stronger and more sexual attraction. We have so much in common and hugely attracted to each other. In the last month he has started to say h...
A. 15 September 2010: I'm glad to help out. I'm sorry if my negativity put a bad spin on things for you. I've done the LDR thing and ended up really hurt. I define relationships differently now. After all, how can someone be there for you if you only see eachother 3 ... (read in full...)
How do I give a blowjob to my boyfriend who has a lot of cum?
Q. So my boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. I am 20 and he is 21. I took his virginity right before his 21st birthday. But I had only had sex with one other guy before him and I had only given a bj before sex so I had never ...
A. 15 September 2010: The ladies here have given some great advice. I'd like to add one thing, I like a BJ that goes to the end, but they are also great for foreplay. Start with the BJ and when you start getting tired, move on to sex. Your endurance with it will come ... (read in full...)
Married and infatuated...
Q. I wish I could say I was not infatuated. But I am really crazy and having a tough time controlling myself. I am, beautiful, educated and in my twenties, married, without kids leading a very monotonous life. I am happily married, so to say, but I...
A. 15 September 2010: Yeah, it's a great feeling at first. When it turns into unrequited love, it can actually start to stuck pretty bad. Especially if it lasts for years. :(
You keep meeting him once a fortnight... Do you arrange these meetings or are they ran... (read in full...)
My feeling horny all the time is embarrassing me...
Q. I really dont know what to do... I get horny so easily!!! Its really bad when I am in school. I get all wet and stuff. I cant help thinking about my boyfriend!!! I am wondering why it smells tho? Should I get it looked at by a doctor. It seems that ...
A. 14 September 2010: The smell comes from prolonged periods of wetness. My suggestion would be to focus on school while you are there. Your BF will be there afterword and I'm sure you'll get worked up fast enough. Focus on your studies, that's why you're there. ... (read in full...)
I want my old son back... help!
Q. Hey all, I hope you are willing to help out! I have a 14-year old son; he was the sweetest boy, he always did his homework, and he had perfect grades. Then, my husband and I split up. I divorced him because I felt that i could never take him ...
A. 14 September 2010: He's at the age where this kind of thing happens if you want it to or not. The good news is that he'll rediscover himself a couple more times before adulthood.
The bigger concern is his grades. If he was a good student before, then the slum... (read in full...)
Is it unreasonable for me to ask him to commit to a mutual schedule to chat?
Q. I have a distant friendship with a man (for the last two years, email and chat) which has grown into a stronger and more sexual attraction. We have so much in common and hugely attracted to each other. In the last month he has started to say h...
A. 14 September 2010: I wouldn't suggest a schedule, but if you two are professing love for eachother, then it isn't unreasonable to ask that you at least check in daily, or almost daily.
You do sound a little lovestruck, and some of your behaviors and feelings... (read in full...)
He wants to marry me but how am I supposed to live with this?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are being a couple for a year now. A few months ago we had a little fight and I told him, in my anger and between the lines, that if he wants to leave this relationship, he's free to do it. He said that he'd be OK whether he...
A. 14 September 2010: How you get past this is with communication. I'm glad my links helped you. He is very typical in his, "fix it" mentality. That is also one of the most common areas that causes couples problems. Women don't always want men to fix their problems, ... (read in full...)
Why won't my husband touch me?
Q. I have been married for 3 years and two of those years he will not touch me why is that? I try and he always telling me that i am to demanding so i stoped it and never touched him for three months when i went to touch him the other night he told me ...
A. 14 September 2010: Nothing is wrong with you. There is definitely something up with him. Likely he has some issues that need to be worked out. Have you tried telling him how this makes you feel? How did he react when you did?... (read in full...)
"The case of the pissed off ex"
Q. "OP Own Title"Why is my exboyfriend sending me random Emails 1 email he sent was him just saying Hi (just that) and later on he sent another one saying "don't say bad things about me to other people" (and I never do things like that) then I reply ...
A. 14 September 2010: He doesn't want you to ruin his reputation because he has given you ammo to do it.
Ignore him. Or tell him that if he doesn't leave you alone you will start telling people stuff about him. He's just a sad, insecure, little man who is trying t... (read in full...)
Glitter on boyfriend's face!
Q. Hi everyone…I’m hoping someone can give me some advice. Last night I went to see my boyfriend after he got off work. When we were sitting together I noticed a small piece of glitter on the bottom of his nostril. Just one piece. I got upset and st...
A. 14 September 2010: WTF, really?!? Glitter gets everywhere, and sticks. You can't get rid of the shit even if you were no where near it. He is very likely not lying, and you're freaking out about NOTHING.
Why do you immediately assume he's cheating on you over a p... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has an oversized-women obsession!
Q. I found out that my boyfriend has cheated on me with oversized, unattractive, low class women. I thought this had been put to rest but recently discovered that he masturbates with the use of Voluptuous magazine as well as other big girl materials. ...
A. 14 September 2010: Not the usual problem, but hey, everyone is different.
If that's what he wants, why is he with you?
I'm guessing by this statement that you're not a big woman. I think you're right about the "public image" thing. Guys can be judgemental, and... (read in full...)
Married and infatuated...
Q. I wish I could say I was not infatuated. But I am really crazy and having a tough time controlling myself. I am, beautiful, educated and in my twenties, married, without kids leading a very monotonous life. I am happily married, so to say, but I...
A. 14 September 2010: And why not?!? I'm single, and frankly, I don't care if they are. I'm not talking about locking gazes here, just a friendly smile. What you're talking about is different. When you lock eyes, and give a big smile, that's a different story. It is ... (read in full...)
Married and infatuated...
Q. I wish I could say I was not infatuated. But I am really crazy and having a tough time controlling myself. I am, beautiful, educated and in my twenties, married, without kids leading a very monotonous life. I am happily married, so to say, but I...
A. 14 September 2010: Guys smile at pretty girls. It's just something we do. Sometimes, if I see someone who looks down, I'll shoot them a smile in hopes that the little gesture will brighten their day. It's also something that is hard not to do back if someone smiles ... (read in full...)
Less than a month and he says he's in love?
Q. I have sort of been seeing a guy for the past couple of weeks now. I haven't even known him for a full month yet. He's already told me that he thinks he's fallen in love with me and that I am the only girl for him. Suddenly it feels like I find him ...
A. 14 September 2010: He's confusing his infatuation with you with love. It happens all the time and can definitely be confusing for someone who is unfamiliar with these feelings. The reason you're feeling less attracted to him now is likely due to the fact that it's ... (read in full...)
She's become distant and spends more time with Facebook than with me
Q. Me and my girl have been together for two and a half years. We have a nine month old son together. For the last three or four months she has gotten to the point she won't converse with me I come home from work she gets on facebook and stays there ...
A. 14 September 2010: She's not mature enough to realize what it means to be in a real relationship. She's likely spending so much time on there because she's longing to do the things her friends her age are doing. I would guess that your age difference is playing into ... (read in full...)
Period is late -- could I be pregnant?
Q. Alright. I am 19 and My fiance and I just started having sex. It was my first time with him. I am 4 days late on my period could I be pregnant? He used a condom the first time, but he did not use one the second. But he did pull out before anything ...
A. 14 September 2010: Pull out method doesn't work. There is sperm in precum and that can make you pregnant. Nobody here can know if you're pregnant. Go get a pregnancy test and take it. That's the only way you'll know for sure.
The short answer: Maybe.... (read in full...)
Afraid that "standing up for myself" might drive her away
Q. What can I do because I feel like I'm in a no-win situation. I am madly in love with my girlfriend, who often seems to take me for granted. But at the same time, while I feel I deserve better treatment, I'm afraid to "stand up for myself" because ...
A. 14 September 2010: Try to not be confrontational about it. What is she doing that makes you feel taken for granted? Why are you so scared that talking to her about how you're feeling will drive her off?
If I had to guess (which I have to because we don't have the... (read in full...)
Why does the ex still want my friendship?
Q. Boyfriend and I broke up July 21st. We argued and said some really mean things about each other -back-and-forth (yes, it was very childish) He started dating his current gf 2 days after we broke-up (she's the reason we broke up) and deleted me as a ...
A. 14 September 2010: Nope, I'd move on. He's in the past for a reason. Let him remain there.
Is it possible he still likes you? Sure, but it's more likely that he's regretting breaking it off because his current relationship isn't all flowers and sunshine. He want... (read in full...)
I hit her when I was drunk... how can I make it up to her?
Q. I've been with my wife for 4 years and we had a wonderful relationship when I was sober. But one night I got drunk and we both started arguing and out of anger I hit her. She has told all of her family and friends she is done with me. Is there ...
A. 14 September 2010: Give her time and space to make her decision. If she is willing to meet with you, then you can lay your cards on the table. The thing is, physical abuse is often the next step from other abuses. Think back, were you verbally abusive in the past? ... (read in full...)
Married and infatuated...
Q. I wish I could say I was not infatuated. But I am really crazy and having a tough time controlling myself. I am, beautiful, educated and in my twenties, married, without kids leading a very monotonous life. I am happily married, so to say, but I...
A. 14 September 2010: You find him attractive and are creating things in your head. Sure, the flirty smiles are real, but how much do you actually talk to this guy? You're sexually frustrated, and that's coming out in this behavior.
I would suggest sitting your hus... (read in full...)
Fone fury!!!
Q. I spoke to someone last tuesday and they were sick on the phone and we would talk again when they are feeling better.. i am away for a few days and yesterrday i entered an area without much signal so i turned my phone off.. later on i used a family ...
A. 14 September 2010: I think your phone just glitched. That happens with any carrier. If you're that concerned, just give them a call. I doubt they tried to call in that time though.... (read in full...)
I lied to my online love about my age
Q. I am in love with a guy who is 26 and i am 15 years old.... i met him online...he dont know my real age and now i love him alot i want to tell him everything..but i am scared that he will leave me...my intentions was not bad...i was depressed bcause ...
A. 14 September 2010: Tell him the truth. Lies can never be the foundation to a healthy relationship. The fact that you feel like you love him is all the more reason why you should be honest with him.... (read in full...)
Why do I like having sex with him when I find girls attractive?
Q. I have a friend who visits me weekly and we kiss, suck each other and had sex. I find girls attractive, not guys, but i love having sex with him? Am i gay or bi?...
A. 14 September 2010: My guess would be bi, but like tammye17 said, women can just be attractive, no matter what your sexual attraction. The biggest thing is to be happy. If you enjoy what you're doing and who you're with, then just live in the moment.... (read in full...)
How do you know when you are emotionally ready for sex?
Q. I'm 19 and just had a general question because I am running into this point of my life with having a wonderful boyfriend. How do you know when you are emotionally ready to have sex? Thanks for any answer!...
A. 14 September 2010: He sounds like he has the right attitude, as it sounds like you do too. Nothing is written in life. Just because people get married doesn't mean they will be together forever.
My take is that life is too short. If you love eachother, and have... (read in full...)
How do you know when you are emotionally ready for sex?
Q. I'm 19 and just had a general question because I am running into this point of my life with having a wonderful boyfriend. How do you know when you are emotionally ready to have sex? Thanks for any answer!...
A. 13 September 2010: You'll want it and it will feel right. The idea may still scare you a little, but overall you'll want it.
Sex is one of those things that can be a big deal or a minor thing, depending on how you look at it. If you both are on the same page abo... (read in full...)
Getting him to take care of himself!
Q. Do any of you have any success in getting your husbands to take care of their own "needs" more often than not?...
A. 13 September 2010: Yeah, at least that's the idea as I read it. You want him to masturbate, why not give him something to masturbate to. Do some housework topless or better yet nude or almost nude. I know that if my girl did that, and told me she'd love it if I ... (read in full...)
He wants to marry me but how am I supposed to live with this?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are being a couple for a year now. A few months ago we had a little fight and I told him, in my anger and between the lines, that if he wants to leave this relationship, he's free to do it. He said that he'd be OK whether he...
A. 9 September 2010: Ok, lots going on here, but please don't generalize all men based on this one. We aren't all like this guy.
What does he mean by the line "you aren't getting rid of me that easy?"
Very likely his way of saying he'll stay with you through anyt... (read in full...)
Getting him to take care of himself!
Q. Do any of you have any success in getting your husbands to take care of their own "needs" more often than not?...
A. 8 September 2010: I'm interpreting this as getting him to masturbate instead of pushing sex.
There are some women here who are wondering why their husbands masturbate instead of having sex with them. I'm sure they'd tell you to be grateful for what you have. B... (read in full...)
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