A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A guy friend, maybe "friend" isn't the right word. )We used to have a casual thing last year which has now ended because he's with somebody now and a few other reasons) has recently been sending me text messages that, in my opinion, friends shouldn't be sending one another. So, a few months back i was asleep, it was maybe 2am something like that, when i get a text from said "friend" it went something like "hey, we need a sneeky cuddle soon, only if you promise not to behave ;)" this woke me up but i thought he's probably just drunk so i'll ignore it plus i was still half asleep. The next morning i read it again and was a bit confused by this, i got another text later that morning asking if i wanted to meet up soon, for some reason i said i did then this part threw me, he said "do you want me to behave?". Now just to make this clear, this is a guy who was adamant we be "friends" because of this gf he's with and he said he'd never cheat on her, which is what i said in my reply, he replied back "and i meant that, i'm not going to cheat on my gf". So, my question is, if he's not going to cheat on her, what's with the texts?
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female
reader, xanthic +, writes (16 September 2010):
 He sounds like the type to consider actual intercourse cheating, but not anything that leads up to it. Bottom line, he wants a side dish and since you're 'friends', he probably thinks it'd be easiest to reel you in as his Plan B. Don't let him, he's not only disrespecting you but also his girlfriend.
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (16 September 2010):
 This man is a cheap, disgusting bad of filth. Stay away from him...just wants to go around having a bit of a roll in the hay and go back to the dear girlfriend...and where does that leave you? Never be the consolation prize or reserve for anybody...you dont deserve it. Stop the texts, cut off all contacts with him. Throw him out of your life. Why give anybody else the chance to call the shots, when you yourself can? You dont want this nonsense. Period.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (15 September 2010):
 I'd say he's fishing for interest. Or he's looking to cheat. Or both. He shouldn't be sending this kind of thing to you, and you shouldn't put yourself in a position to let him cheat. He's a, well, dirtball (HA) and shouldn't be given the time of day. Cut your contact with this creep.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (15 September 2010):
 Unless, he doesn't consider just cuddling with you cheating. Technically cuddling with a woman who isn't your girlfriend is cheating, but of a lesser charge. Sounds to me like this "friend" is keeping you on the back burner at a low flame in case he breaks up with his girlfriend, hence the flirty texts. Then, he can flip the switch and go from being just friends to friends with benefits with you. Drop this guy as an apparent friend. There's no need to be someone's reserve.
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