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... Send *irtball a private message | | | *irtball's profile:Hello DC. Some of you may be wondering where I were I went. My life has taken a turn that has taken me away from here for the time being. I'm not really answering many questions at this time. If you PM me, I will respond, but it may be delayed a week or two. I had many problems dumped on me of my own, so I don't have much energy for the problems of others. I'll be back, but it just may be a while.
Wow, been away longer than anticipated. To sum it up, life sort of sucks for me at the moment. Not looking for pity, just letting you know why I haven't been around. I still hope things will get better soon, but who knows.
ALERT: If you're sending me a PM in regard to advice I've given you, please reference the thread or specifics so I can be on the same page. Lately I've been receiving lots of PM's with an answer to some question I asked, but since the question was from an Anon poster, I have no idea which answer it was in regard to. I give a lot of advice here, so I'm very sorry if I don't immediately recognize you. The question title or a link would be most appreciated. Thank you!
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Hi, I'm the bad bad charming sweetheart dirtball. Although recently I seem to have picked up the moniker "Dirty Balls" despite making sure to clean them thoroughly each day. Anyway, I love this site. I have a BA in Psychology which is part of the reason I think I like this site so much. I posted anon for quite some time before creating my profile. I took to the brutally honest approach which has gotten me in trouble a few times, but for the most part has gone quite well. I enjoy helping people and at times challenging them when I think it is appropriate.
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I've been getting lots of great feedback on my advice and I appreciate it, even if you didn't like it. With that said, I'd like to add a segment here I'll call (drum roll please)
DIRTBALL'S RULES ABOUT PEOPLE AND DATING (in no particular order)
Men don't befriend women who they are not interested in sexually. What do I mean by this? I mean that men will not actively seek out friends of the opposite sex unless they would like to make the friendship progress further at some point. Plain and simple, that's how we operate. Are there circumstances where they are actually just friends? Yes, those would be times when you are forced together in some way. Examples could be; fellow employees at work, a regular customer at work, shared friend circle. The key to watch for is if he looks to spend time with her alone. That's usually the sign that he has a romantic interest in the relationship.
Long Distance Relationships don't work. Go ahead and tell me your success stories, I don't care. Most of the time it is just way too hard for the parties involved. Too much doubt creeps into the relationship. Plus, can you really call it a relationship if you only get to be together rarely? I think not.
Once broken up, you should stay that way. Make up/break up relationships don't work. Why do you always feel the need to break up? It's because things aren't working. Then you miss each other and get back together, only to have the very thing that drove you apart last time do it again. It is a cycle that doesn't get better. All you're doing is preventing yourself from finding someone who will actually make you happy.
People only change if they really (and I mean REALLY) want to for themselves. Changes for the benefit of others are temporary. True change is very hard to make. It requires diligence, effort, and support.
Communication is the most important part of your relationship. So many times we have people here asking about how they should handle a situation when the solution is simply to talk to your partner about it. We forget how important this is. It affects everything. If you are feeling upset about something, it is best that you discuss it with your partner instead of burying it and letting it brew. Later it will explode when it could have just been a calm discussion if addressed right away. Communicate with your partner. If you never talk, why are you even together?
People can love each other and not be right for a relationship. This kind of goes back to the make up/break up rule from earlier but it extends to present partners or exes as well. When someone is part of your life, especially for long periods of time, it is natural that part of the love you carry for them will always be there. Just because you love someone though, that doesn't mean you should be together. That's the case with most of my ex GF's as I'm sure it is with many other people. Sometimes you need to consider if love is making you do foolish things.
You should set ground rules in your relationships. Let your partner know about deal breakers. Deal breakers being defined as things they would do that would cause you to end the relationship. It is good to get these out of the way when you are getting serious. That way, you can refer back to them if your partner does something against said ground rules. An example that I tell all my girlfriends (including friends who I'm not romantically involved with) is that I will never answer the question "Am I fat" or any variation of it (does this make me look fat, does my butt look big, etc). I explain why too. It's a trap question. Answer yes, and that's obvious. Answer no, and "you're just saying that." So I won't entertain that question. I know, silly, but this works for the bigger picture too. Figure out what's important enough to you that you'd be willing to end a relationship. Tell your partner what these things are. If they want to be with you, they should know.
When one person in a relationship has a problem, it's a problem for the relationship. You're not alone in your relationship, and dismissing your partner's problem doesn't solve anything. It makes them feel devalued and unimportant. Why don't you care enough to address something they think is a problem? It's because you know it's a problem but want to hide. Don't hide from it. If you do, it won't go away.
When a relationship ends, you need to give yourself proper time to grieve it. Like dealing with death, you go through the same stages. Denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and finally acceptance. This is part of the problem with rebound relationships. Take the time you need. Don't be afraid to wait.
Let the past be the past. It's over, it's done, and there is nothing that can be done to change it. There is no use dwelling on it because there is nothing that can be done about it. Don't worry about things that cannot be changed. You can't drive a car by only looking in the rear view mirror.
I'm sure there will be more to come, but these are the few I've seen myself repeat a lot in my rather short time here.
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This is, hands down, the best conversation I've seen about porn yet on this site: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-there-no-middle-ground-when-it.html
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Dirtball Rants:
1) What the hell happened to punctuation and grammar? I blame text messaging for the trash I see people write. It's not the content but the way it's expressed that makes me wonder what's happening to society. I realize that we're a multinational forum here, and I give a complete pass to someone who is doing their best despite the fact that English isn't their first language. But the crap I see from Americans, the British, Canadians, and Australians often makes me sick. If any of you read this, your posts would be much easier to read if you used paragraphs, sentences with punctuation, and whole words instead of abreviations like U, cuz, or wut! Quit being so fucking lazy if you want help.
2) There is a difference between the words your and you're. "Your" denotes ownership. "You're" is the contraction of "you are." Saying something like "your lame" is wrong wrong wrong! The same goes for there, their, and they're. "There" is used for things like places (look over there). "Their" denotes ownership (they wanted their cookies back). "They're" is the contraction of "they are." An example, "they're going to the service station over there to pick up their car which was just repaired." I bet that just blew your mind.
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Abreviations.
I use a lot of abreviations when I type advice so I'm going to start a list of the most common ones I see for use as a reference tool.
OP - Original Poster, the person asking for advice.
BF - Boyfriend
GF - Girlfriend
SO - Significant Other, your BF, GF, Fiance, or spouse in other words.
BTW - By the way
FWIW - For what it's worth
TBH - To be honest
IDC - I Don't Care
IDK - I Don't Know
IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
IMO - In My Opinion
IOW - In Other Words
THO - Titty Hard On (erect nipples) |
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How do I get rid of this crush? I hate it so much.
Q. Sometimes I feel I am in love. Sometimes it is not important at all. But I like him so much and the thought of his voice and words make me feel secure. The last few times we talked about some thing he lowered his voice so much that I could not...
A. 29 October 2010: I think that's a good plan, I also think that your imagination played into some of the "signals." Lots of that is just being friendly. Good luck. It is definitely best if you can move on. Especially since you're in a relationship.... (read in full...)
How do I get rid of this crush? I hate it so much.
Q. Sometimes I feel I am in love. Sometimes it is not important at all. But I like him so much and the thought of his voice and words make me feel secure. The last few times we talked about some thing he lowered his voice so much that I could not...
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We do. We're much more straight forward than women in my experience. Men really are quite simple. We're also bound by our insecurities, societal norms and values, and our mora... (read in full...)
How do I get rid of this crush? I hate it so much.
Q. Sometimes I feel I am in love. Sometimes it is not important at all. But I like him so much and the thought of his voice and words make me feel secure. The last few times we talked about some thing he lowered his voice so much that I could not...
A. 28 October 2010: It's hard to say if that behavior means anything. He's probably interested on some level but it's hard to say how interested. I can say I'm 90% sure he won't make a move. ... (read in full...)
How do I get rid of this crush? I hate it so much.
Q. Sometimes I feel I am in love. Sometimes it is not important at all. But I like him so much and the thought of his voice and words make me feel secure. The last few times we talked about some thing he lowered his voice so much that I could not...
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My boyfriend has a bestfriend that is a female. Need help!
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A. 25 October 2010: Do those feelings just go away?
Not in my experience. I had a crush on a close female friend. I actually tried to get over her because she was in a relationship. I started dating a friend of ours (my crush and me). After 3 years in a relation... (read in full...)
I want to be a London escort
Q. Hi everyone! I'm thinking about becoming a London Escort... Do not tell me that I shouldn't do this.. I'm already an Escort, but not in London. What I would like to know is: How many customers do Escorts receive per day? Thank you for your a...
A. 25 October 2010: "Do not tell me that I shouldn't do this."
Why not? Because you already do it? Just because you do it doesn't make it right? Just because it's the oldest profession in the world doesn't make it safe.
"How many customers do escorts receive ... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose her but girlfriend is playing games with me
Q. hello i have a problem with my girlfriend that i have been with a year and a half we had a good realtionship but every couple of months she would leave her excuess was i was controlling she would get in trouble and and call me to bail her out any...
A. 25 October 2010: Just because you want to be with someone doesn't mean you should tolerate the crap she's doing. Run away from this one. She's bad news. All you're doing by staying with her is preventing yourself from finding a nice girl who will make you happy.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend will not let me leave
Q. my boyfriend expects me to be with him all the time, and on the weekend he had some crisps and i ate one and he just flipped and threw the plate at me and it smashed everywhere, and he went off upstairs to the bedroom, so i cleaned everything up, ...
A. 25 October 2010: What he is doing is illegal. Press charges right away. Don't hesitate. He will kill you if he put a knife to your throat. He belongs in jail.
Please please please call the police!!!!... (read in full...)
Customs and border patrols?
Q. i need to write my final term paper and it has to be about customs and border patrols can domeone halp me to get like the main idea i have no clue at all :$...
A. 25 October 2010: "can domeone halp me?" Who is domeone? What is halp?
If you're writing a term paper, I sure as hell hope it's with more care than your question.
For customs/border patrol you could talk about any number of issues. Most likely smuggling... (read in full...)
Husband religious but watches porn
Q. I am a married woman for 8 years. I have 3 children. My husband is religious person but he love to watch naked women on the internet or in the movies. He knows that this is wrong and he hide it from me but I always discover it. I am overweight but i ...
A. 25 October 2010: What did your husband say when you talked to him about this?... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't call
Q. My boyfriend doesn’t won’t to give me care such as call, text and loving word after 1 year our relationship happened. Before he was good guy but know I feel I loose him and I still love him so much. ...
A. 25 October 2010: Have you let him know this is bothering you? After a year he may not feel he needs to constantly reaffirm his love for you with constant calls and texts. If this is important to you, then talk to him about it. ... (read in full...)
I can't love ... I think.
Q. A while ago i fell in love with a girl who dumped me to go on a 3 week orgy effectivly, she was my first love. I think i am now over her, expecially after i slept with the girl across my road as soon as i could, just to take my gaze off her, and so ...
A. 25 October 2010: Well, at least you're not having sex with all these girls but your behavior isn't much better than guys who do.
Take some time for yourself. You need it. The root of this problem is that you're not over your ex. Until you get past that relation... (read in full...)
My daughter told me she is bisexual and I don't know how to handle this?
Q. My 17 year old daughter has been trying to tell me she is bisexual for the last six months.I have responded with kids today are bicurious and that is what she is doing. Each time she mentioned it I would cut off the conversation, and say I can't ...
A. 25 October 2010: What's done is done, at least you told her that you love her and that won't change, even if it may not always feel that way. I'm sure hearing that helped, regardless of how she may have felt at the time.
Sexuality is one of those things that man... (read in full...)
Did I send the wrong message? Text message, that is!
Q. I have a good guy friend I've recently reconnected with. We found each other online and after months of getting to know each other I felt we were going somewhere. We recently started talking and texting. I NEVER end texts with ttl, or bye or ...
A. 25 October 2010: Then send him a little "what's up" text. Just say hi and see if he responds. ... (read in full...)
In love with a platonic friend...
Q. I have been friends with a woman for close to ten years. She was going out with my buddy for 8/9 years and they seperated amicably about 10 months ago. I began to spend a lot of time with her and we have bcome very close and confide in each other ...
A. 25 October 2010: If she's told you she's planning on exploring something with someone, that's your chance to step up. If you're going to do it, the time is now before she's off the market again.
You can love a friend. I know I love some of my friends. It can b... (read in full...)
I can't love ... I think.
Q. A while ago i fell in love with a girl who dumped me to go on a 3 week orgy effectivly, she was my first love. I think i am now over her, expecially after i slept with the girl across my road as soon as i could, just to take my gaze off her, and so ...
A. 25 October 2010: Says who, by the way you're not a man yet. You've got a lot of maturing to do first. Men are emotional too, we're just taught not to show it. In my book, real men don't become users of women like you have.
What I see as a big part of your pro... (read in full...)
I acted like an idiot whilst drunk, what should I do when I go back to school to minimise the damage?
Q. Last night i was at a party and was completely drunk and I started acting like a chav and all my peers were giving me dirty looks and stuff and taking the piss, and i gotta go back to school in 2 weeks... what do i do so i dont look like a complete ...
A. 25 October 2010: Then you don't have much to worry about. If you find out anyone is really upset, then respond appropriately. Otherwise learn and move forward.... (read in full...)
How do I get rid of this crush? I hate it so much.
Q. Sometimes I feel I am in love. Sometimes it is not important at all. But I like him so much and the thought of his voice and words make me feel secure. The last few times we talked about some thing he lowered his voice so much that I could not...
A. 25 October 2010: Wow, I know how you feel. I had to leave my last relationship because of feelings I developed for someone else... The worst part is that she's taken and I won't tell her how I feel about her while she's in a relationship. It's a boundary I won't ... (read in full...)
Should I ask him why he can't stay hard?
Q. Here I am again ... Have been dating this guy for 2 weeks, both times that HE tried to have sex he couldnt get an erection. He dated one of his friends for 2 years and they broke up 4 months ago and she was an alcoholic.He starts to make out very...
A. 25 October 2010: Well, only being two weeks into the relationship I wouldn't be too worried yet.
It could be any number of things. He could be nervous, he could have ED, he could have a chemical dependency... It's hard to say.
You could ask him what's w... (read in full...)
How to keep him guessing.
Q. Girls, you know how guys say we're complex? Good news for you, they love it. Mystery is what turns a guy on the most. It's like a puzzle a game or a search, so how do you keep the search going when you are in a relationship with him? 1. During t...
A. 25 October 2010: SeeingStars, the difference is that the article is about getting a guy, not keeping him. I think that everyone gets bored once and a while, still, I prefer that my partner not play manipulative games. I would much rather her tell me she's getting ... (read in full...)
How do I get my girlfriend to view her sexuality positively instead of negatively?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for 1 year. Since the start of our relationship, we haven't had sex. I don't see it as a problem but it has crossed my mind why we haven't took the next step. So recently I sat down with her and as subtly ...
A. 25 October 2010: Exactly, and I hope it works for you. I've helped people through similar things and this has worked for me in the past. Good luck!... (read in full...)
As soon as we were married everything changed!
Q. I am a 39yr white female. I married a 46yr black male. This is the first time that I have ever stepped out of my race. Governor and I got together on 09/20/09 We got married 05/24/10. Prior to marriage, he and I had a wonderful relationship. ...
A. 25 October 2010: Why did he marry you if he just was going to not trust you?
So, this stuff never came out before? Were you able to ignore it in the past?
The thing is, if you're innocent, and they still accuse you, then you don't have much to use to prove you... (read in full...)
I invited her out but she wants to bring a friend ...
Q. I know a girl for sometime and we do share some chemistry between us. Now I have invited her to come out for a coffee which she agreed to. Unfortunately her friend from overseas is also over to c her (didn't c that coming) and so she wants to bring ...
A. 25 October 2010: Go ahead with it. If the friend likes you that's an even bigger in. Impress the friend and you have a better chance with her. Play it casual and have fun. Before you leave take her aside and let her know you had a good time and you hope that the ... (read in full...)
Some days its like World War II
Q. Me and my partner got together shortly after he broke up with his ex I was the main Reason I suppose and the fact he was sick of her leaving every 5 seconds and her using there child to get at him I try my best to put my feelings aside when it ...
A. 25 October 2010: Really, the problem lies in your BF. He needs to assert himself with her and take a stand. He can't let her control him anymore.
How can he do this?
The most important thing he can do in regard to his child is fight for custody or at a ... (read in full...)
Does she sound interested? Should I try to sit next to her?
Q. She introduced herself to me. Ignored what the other guy said when speaking to me. Stood close to me while entering classroom. Waited until I finished a conversation to say hi. Asked me to sit next to her so she wouldn't be alone. Her arm and foot ...
A. 25 October 2010: Her actions indicate interest, but I can't discern intent. If you like her too, then why not go on a date. I'm not sure where people think she could be using you for attention, but since they know you better than I do, you shouldn't dismiss your ... (read in full...)
I acted like an idiot whilst drunk, what should I do when I go back to school to minimise the damage?
Q. Last night i was at a party and was completely drunk and I started acting like a chav and all my peers were giving me dirty looks and stuff and taking the piss, and i gotta go back to school in 2 weeks... what do i do so i dont look like a complete ...
A. 25 October 2010: Too late. You'll look like a tool. The thing is, most people can be pretty forgiving about things that happen when someone is drunk as long as you didn't pick fights, puke on someone, or go around groping all the girls at the party. The best ... (read in full...)
I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday but I want him back, how long should I wait to call him?
Q. I just broke up with my bf yesterday. he's 32. im 20. We've known each other for 8 months. I broke up with him because I couldn't trust him anymore. after breaking up he called me but I didn't answer so he sent this to me: "I am very sorry that ...
A. 25 October 2010: You should wait till these feelings pass and you can look at this rationally. It is natural to regret a break up after it's done, but it's usually bad news if you get back together. You broke up for a reason. That will not have changed in the ... (read in full...)
I had sex for the first time but did not enjoy it! What could be the reason?
Q. Hi guys, i used to masturbate like everyday and yesterday i had sex for the first time and to be honest i did not enjoy it. what could be the reason i need to know. i didnt come because the girl in question gets tired easily even when we're ju...
A. 25 October 2010: That's normal. My first time was lack luster for me too. I didn't have an orgasm either. The good news is that it gets better. As you learn what pleases you, you will be able to communicate that to your partner and that should help.
On a ... (read in full...)
G/f says I've done nothing wrnog but she wants a break
Q. My girlfriend of 5.5 years just told me she wanted a break, but insisted it was nothing ive done, and she still loves me, she just needs space to take a step back and figure things out....what do i do? i have had no contact with her since "The Talk" ...
A. 23 October 2010: Said rules should be discussed between the both of you. Usually this is done at the start of the break. You both set the rules and purpose of the break. ... (read in full...)
Husband is a big time drinker! Do I stay?
Q. My question to you is that I been with my husband for 16 years we have 3 beautiful girls together, my husband is a big time drinker and Iam not talking just about beer its hard liquor Its where my oldest daughter he hits her,and verbally abusive me ...
A. 22 October 2010: His drinking isn't as much a problem as his abuse. You need to get out for you and your kids sake. Get out now. It is never right to abuse anyone. Seek help, it is out there for you.... (read in full...)
Is this a bad sign? Lack of eye contact
Q. Hi there I am worried about something but it sounds trivial. My boyfriend hardly ever makes prolonged eye contact with me. I think he does love me because he tells me he does, and he puts me first. Plus we love to be in each others company, but...
A. 22 October 2010: It is also a communication style difference. When men communicate with eachother we rarely are locking eyes or even positioned so we're looking at eachother. Usually we prefer to be side by side or at right angles. Women on the other hand prefer ... (read in full...)
How do I get my girlfriend to view her sexuality positively instead of negatively?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for 1 year. Since the start of our relationship, we haven't had sex. I don't see it as a problem but it has crossed my mind why we haven't took the next step. So recently I sat down with her and as subtly ...
A. 22 October 2010: The others gave great advice. From a guy's perspective you just need to be supportive and not rush anything. You sound like you've been doing that well and excellent job for being a great guy.
As far as some of her behaviors, you can help her... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's 6 yr old son has recently started disrespecting me..what should I do?
Q. My boyfriend has a 6 yr old son that recently has started disrespecting me for the past month or two. Whenever he doesn't get his way he pinches or hits me. Sometimes he pinches me for no reason. Every time I tell my boyfriend he brushes it off. We ...
A. 22 October 2010: Parents also don't usually like being told how to parent their children. Be careful how you approach that conversation. Still, you need to talk to you BF about this. His son's behavior cannot be tolerated. He shouldn't be hitting or doing ... (read in full...)
G/f says I've done nothing wrnog but she wants a break
Q. My girlfriend of 5.5 years just told me she wanted a break, but insisted it was nothing ive done, and she still loves me, she just needs space to take a step back and figure things out....what do i do? i have had no contact with her since "The Talk" ...
A. 22 October 2010: Excellent advice John Trenor.
Why she wanted the break is likely because you two have been together for so long. Most likely you are eachothers first real long term relationship. Often when you both mature together like you have, doubts a... (read in full...)
My boyfriends family won't let go of his soon to be ex wife
Q. I am in a fairly new relationship with a man going through divorce. His family absolutely adores his soon to be ex and is making it clear that they want them to get back together. While they are friendly and cordial to me, the ex continues to be ...
A. 22 October 2010: CaringGuy is right. Excellent post.
I'd like to add that she is their daughter (albeit through marriage) and has been for a while. These kind of relationships don't just end, especially when someone is liked. Where you need to focus is on be... (read in full...)
He backs away when I try to kiss him!
Q. So there is this guy that i really like and he likes me back, we both know about it and we've cuddled, held hands...really basic stuff. the problem is he always backs away when i try to kiss him and he is always hesitant to hang out with me. never ...
A. 22 October 2010: He's confused. It could be any number of things. He may have a GF and can't bring himself to cross that boundary. He could be scared because he's never kissed a girl. Maybe kissing means a lot to him. Maybe he's just really shy. Maybe he wants ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend demands I return her things to her before she's willing to talk about getting back together.
Q. i just read a post that is similar to mine i have a girlfriend that broke up with me there is a age difference im 48 and she is 25 we met and have feelings for each other we have been together for a year and half anyway she had a problem with dru...
A. 22 October 2010: Give her things back to her and walk away. You don't need her crap and you certainly don't need the drama she brings. She likely has a problem, and it can be painful to watch those you care about destroy themselves, but you also don't want to ... (read in full...)
My man won't give me any!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together a little over 2 yrs now. When we first met the sex was hot and heavy and I couldn't keep him off me. Then, 6 months later I found out I was pregnant. He already had 2 boys and didn't want any more kids ...
A. 22 October 2010: Hard to say. I would venture it's due to stress. It could also be because he doesn't want sex to be the only thing in your relationship. You need to talk to him and tell him how it's making you feel. Sometimes life gets in the way and it can ... (read in full...)
How does a break up work if you both have the same friends? This is so hard to end!
Q. Okay. So I'm sixteen and my girlfriend is fifteen and i think i'm about to break it off. I think its just kind of over for me. It's taken a while to stop being in denial about it because i remember how in love with her i used to be. I'm sort of ...
A. 22 October 2010: Breaking up is never easy, but you would likely have gotten a few more helpful souls if you didn't tell us what not to tell you. Anyway, on to your question...
Can a break up work if you have the same friends? This depends. It will likely b... (read in full...)
Am I smothering her here?
Q. My gf and I used to date three years ago for about two months and she broke up with me cause things got too heavy too fast. I was devastated. After a while we became friends again. We work together but not in the same department. Any ways, we start...
A. 22 October 2010: If she's stopped returning calls or texts you are very likely smothering her a bit. Back off. Instead just send her a text letting her know you're thinking about her. Something like "I'm thinking about you. I hope you're starting to feel ... (read in full...)
Why is she acting like a bitch?
Q. i have no idea what to say to my mother. i did exams for uni a few months ago and ended up with my second choice cause i didnt get great results. my mam wouldnt let me view or appeal any of them and so i took my second offer. now 2 months later. i ...
A. 22 October 2010: Why are you letting her hold you back? You could have appealed them anyway. Why didn't you? It is easy to blame others, but really, if you wanted it bad enough you could have figured out a way to make it happen.
Use this as a lesson about li... (read in full...)
My fiance does sensual massage and I'm having a problem with it
Q. I need some help please! I went to a sensual massage therapist and feel in love with her at first sight. Well after a few months, we starting dating and we fell head over heels in love. Well, after 3 months of dating, I told her I was having a ...
A. 21 October 2010: Use it to motivate you to find work fast! I don't know if I could deal with this either. However, you did know what she did for a living before you got together. If she didn't do that, you would have never met and fallen in love.
The question... (read in full...)
I'm mad at myself for being so vulnerable
Q. So I asked a question before about this guy I liked and whether to tell him I liked him etc...and everyone said to go for it and I did...He knew I liked him and this time I just went for it...Well he replied he has a girlfriend and wanted to make it ...
A. 21 October 2010: Congratulations for putting yourself out there. It is a bigger step than most people are willing to take. I'm very sorry that it didn't work out the way you hoped it would.
It's hard to say if he's being truthful or not, but just because ... (read in full...)
Getting rid of everything to do with the ex a good idea?
Q. I want to get rid of memorabilia of my ex, like cards, cinema tickets from the first date and photos. We were together for a long time and he was my "first love". But he's changed so much and not in a good way. I'm so upset with his attitude tow...
A. 21 October 2010: I couldn't do it. I've had some bad breakups too, but I still have some momentos from those relationships. It was an important part of my life for a while, and I like to think back on the good times occasionally. Plus, my parents would probably ... (read in full...)
Getting rid of everything to do with the ex a good idea?
Q. I want to get rid of memorabilia of my ex, like cards, cinema tickets from the first date and photos. We were together for a long time and he was my "first love". But he's changed so much and not in a good way. I'm so upset with his attitude tow...
A. 21 October 2010: I couldn't do it. I've had some bad breakups too, but I still have some momentos from those relationships. It was an important part of my life for a while, and I like to think back on the good times occasionally. Plus, my parents would probably ... (read in full...)
How to keep him guessing.
Q. Girls, you know how guys say we're complex? Good news for you, they love it. Mystery is what turns a guy on the most. It's like a puzzle a game or a search, so how do you keep the search going when you are in a relationship with him? 1. During t...
A. 21 October 2010: I'm going to have to disagree with this. I hate that crap. I do agree with points 4 and 5. The rest is a huge turn OFF to me. Maybe I'm weird, but I'm sick of those games. When I sense a game player I'm done.
Really, I'm just looking ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a bestfriend that is a female. Need help!
Q. dear cupid, I am not the jealous type at all and honestly i didn't even care up until last month when me and this guy im seeing for about 6 months went on vacation together for my birthday. It was supposed to be a group thing but everyone backed o...
A. 7 October 2010: I think you're right in your assumption of some jealousy. Even if she decided she didn't want to date him, she likely enjoyed the attention he gave her. It's always nice to have people to do things with. She also may have liked him more than she ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a bestfriend that is a female. Need help!
Q. dear cupid, I am not the jealous type at all and honestly i didn't even care up until last month when me and this guy im seeing for about 6 months went on vacation together for my birthday. It was supposed to be a group thing but everyone backed o...
A. 1 October 2010: What chigirl said. The other two seem to have missed the fact that this friend and your BF never actually dated. He was infatuated with her and she shot him down. He was hurt and gave it time and then moved on. If anything, this should put you ... (read in full...)
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