A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Here I am again ...Have been dating this guy for 2 weeks, both times that HE tried to have sex he couldnt get an erection. He dated one of his friends for 2 years and they broke up 4 months ago and she was an alcoholic.He starts to make out very heavily, tells me we should do it and then he looses it.Can I ask him what is wrong? should I stop him of trying to have sex? I feel bad for him and I dont want to make him feel like thats what I want to have sex, but I would like to know what is wrong? it can be bc of the ex? he is very very into me and vice versa but we cant make love.
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alcoholic, broke up, erection Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2010): Next time, take a lot of time, play, don't predict anything, and really take a lot of time to just play and have fun.It will happen when he gets over the stress and anxiety.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): Based on his previous LTR and the fact you've only been together 2 weeks, it's psychologically induced ED...in other words, he's nervous, and trying to move faster than his penis is letting him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2010): try more foreplay or oral sex , it helps a lot , otherwise if its nt workin , i would say he should go to see a doctor or something
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (25 October 2010):
 Well, only being two weeks into the relationship I wouldn't be too worried yet.
It could be any number of things. He could be nervous, he could have ED, he could have a chemical dependency... It's hard to say.
You could ask him what's wrong, but he may not know either and this could lead him to be more self conscious about it. Re-affirmation that "it happens to everyone" won't likely help either. Usually when this happens once, a guy will try again really hard and if it happens again he'll feel defeated. The stress about worrying about his performance just adds to the problem.
He may want to go see a doctor if the problem continues, but I have a few questions. Do you do any foreplay? Does he get hard for oral sex? Have you tried? Does he give you oral?
If you haven't tried any of that, then you guys were rushing to sex. Ease into it.
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