A
female
age
41-50,
*wocrazy21
writes:My question to you is that I been with my husband for 16 years we have 3 beautiful girls together, my husband is a big time drinker and Iam not talking just about beer its hard liquor Its where my oldest daughter he hits her,and verbally abusive me or my children, I dont think Iam attractive to him anymore, but I still will have sex with him cause I dont want him thinking Iam cheating on him do I just continue to deal with this he doesnt want to get help but he tried with one dr. he told him how much he drank and the Dr. was thinking its no big deal. Iam mad Iam hurt, I can just scream, and Iam hurting inside what should I do. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2010): Run like hell, it doesnt get better and it will get worse. I know!
A
female
reader, loulou95 +, writes (22 October 2010):
leave that bitch excuse me but i suffer from abuse and im sure ur daughter fell like you dont care about them cuz thats how i feel. my step dad used to hit me cuz he drinks and smoke pot and my mom wouldnt leave and that made me feel like shit not to mention ur well being u are not just a mother u are a women that deserves to be respected do u want your daughters to end up thinking it is ok to take that from a man NO! tell him to clean up or leave him...sorry about the grammer and punctuation i was mad
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (22 October 2010):
 Being parents it's great responsibility we are suppose to help guide our children but most important we are suppose to keep them safe. Your husband has a drinking problem and if your husband don't think he has a problem there is not much you can do. As the only responsible parent that your children have is your responsibility to keep them safe and best solution at least until your husband decides to get help, the best decision you can make is to leave for your safety and for your children.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (22 October 2010):
 A bad temper and alchohol don't mix ever so the rest is obvious.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (22 October 2010):
 His drinking isn't as much a problem as his abuse. You need to get out for you and your kids sake. Get out now. It is never right to abuse anyone. Seek help, it is out there for you.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 October 2010):
 I am sorry for your situation and I hope you find the help you and your family need. You know that this kind of abuse can harm your children terribly and it is time to be as brave as you can and take steps to resolve it.
I want you to contact these two organizations:
http://www.thehotline.org/ 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) The National Domestic Violence Hotline. They will be able to refer you to local, practical help TODAY. Do it TODAY, the sooner you make contact and start a plan, the sooner you will be on the road to offering your children a safe and secure and healthier life.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/english.html Because alcoholism is a family disease, this organization helps people who are affected by a problem drinker find solutions.
You've made the first step by reaching out to us here. Now reach out again and get that HELP that you REALLY need. Best wishes, post back after you've made that phone call, please.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (22 October 2010):
 Has your husband been a drinker from day one? If so then you knew what you were getting in from the get go. Now, if he has just changed all of a sudden then I'm sure an event in his life triggered this constant drinking. Or you may be overreacting and it's not that much like the Dr. said, however it's possible you may need to switch doctors if you think that one was full of crap. Best to get a second medical opinion.
Violence is never the answer, especially hitting his oldest daughter for no apparent reason leaving marks and bruises on her...And verbally abusing you and the rest of your children. This is the case, correct? Sounds like everyone is afraid of your husband...it shouldn't be like that in a family. So I would suggest telling him if he can't attend AA meetings and seek therapy for his uncontrolled anger and abuse then you will be taking your daughters and sending him divorce papers in the mail. If he doesn't agree to these terms...take your daughters and stay with your parents or a relative so that you guys are safe.
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify  +, writes (22 October 2010):
 the violence and total absense of love here is the issue, his alcohol consumption doesn't justify hitting your kids. leave him cos he makes you feel terrible and is violent.
if he is hitting your kids it is your duty as a parent to stop this...
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (22 October 2010):
 Get away from him if he hit your eldest daughter!!!! How dare he lay a hand on your child or even be verbally abusive to them!!!!!
Kick him out...........he's not willing to get any help, it'll just get worse otherwise.
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