A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I asked a question before about this guy I liked and whether to tell him I liked him etc...and everyone said to go for it and I did...He knew I liked him and this time I just went for it...Well he replied he has a girlfriend and wanted to make it known and he values our friendship and is sorry for misleading me and to not take it personally. He is a 21 year old virgin and something tells me he is lieing about the virgin part too- Hmmm. Well I'm thinking that he should have said that like 8months ago when we first met. I never would have had the conversations we had if I had known about the gf- and now I can't trust that he actually has one because no one at work even knows...I have lost whatever faith I had in guys and would like to remain single forever...but what do I say to him if anything...I am so mad and especially at myself for being so vulnerable to someone who clearly has no respect for women.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): I appreciate everyones comments...I am not mad at the fact he has a gf- just that h wasn't upfront about it. If I call someone my friend then they should be honest with me... I dated someone for 3 1/2 years and it was a rough breakup so dating is really difficult. I just am frustrated because the conversations we held never would have taken place had I known he had a girl. But I'm not giving up per say. I just think I would like to be alone for now to do things for me and not worry about someone else...by that I mean I need to put me first because I never do. But it is maddening to not understand what he doesn't see in me because I like myself mostly- but he's lied before and I relly don't want to have to questions someones thought process all the time...so it's for the best.
A
male
reader, $izZle  +, writes (21 October 2010):
 I'm sorry to hear what happen .... hey look at the bright sight you can now breath coz you know its over and you don't have to break your head thinking "what if".... but wow there gurl those words "lost whatever faith I had in guys" now those are heavy words. em! may be you need to think it over coz for many guys like me .... you are a breath of fresh air ....I mean I know not every1 is good and perfect but if lovely gurl's like you give up :O then brilliant guys like me won't have a chance of being discovered :S
I'm already finding it hard to digest that I'm 29 and having trouble approaching girls - now if you say lost faith, staying single :S man you are scaring me zZz
its ok if you end up single but not trying . that wont agree... let me put it this way I tried to ride a bicycle and I fell on my @ZZ . I was mad and angry at myself coz I couldn't learn and all my friends were laughing at me but I didn't give up and 1 day I was riding :D
so pls don't get angry darling just need to have some patience.
forget about whether you win or loose just do it for the fun of it ;)
coz :S no1 want's to be alone let me be more specific I don't wanna be alone haha .... and you just gave me a spanking :P so smile :)
hope I made you smile coz there is no point in staying mad at yourself :)
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (21 October 2010):
 Congratulations for putting yourself out there. It is a bigger step than most people are willing to take. I'm very sorry that it didn't work out the way you hoped it would.
It's hard to say if he's being truthful or not, but just because people don't know about her that doesn't mean she doesn't exist. Maybe it's an LDR or internet relationship. Maybe he's just a really private person and doesn't share those details with people. Maybe she doesn't exist but it was his way of hopefully letting you down easy. Has he ever done anything to make you believe he doesn't respect women? I think this may be your anger talking.
Whatever the case, your anger will pass. I know it sucks right now, but don't let one experience of rejection turn you bitter for the rest of your life. You'll find someone who will appreciate you. They may be crushing on you already, but you were so focused on this boy that you couldn't see it. Use this to make you stronger.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 October 2010):
 Ok dont be mad at yourself your not to blame he is the one that was leading you on you werent to know if he has a girlfriend, if i were you i wouldnt bother talking to him anymore just hold your head up high.
As for you losing all respect in men sweetie they are not all like him, we all face having to get hurt somewere along our lives but you are the stronger person for it and there are plenty of decent guys out there for you.
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