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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
Just some fun!
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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Does my ex really want me back after a bad breakup or are these just "booty calls"?
Q. Does my ex girlfriend want to get back together? we broke up, very badly, and did not talk for a month. I called her and invited her to a party at my house. she came. i kept things light and did not mention the relationship at all, and even kept ...
A. 21 March 2008: Wait, but not for too long. Let her come to you. Next time you talk to her, if she keeps giving you these mixed signals, tell her so, and tell her to come back to you if she makes her mind up. Also, tell her that, in the meantime, you are both ... (read in full...)
Sexual orientated texts from a married woman
Q. Would you consider it appropriate for a married woman to send text messages that have a sexual theme to a single man? There's a woman at my workplace who I foolishly gave my number to so she could send me, at the time, an innocent media message. Now ...
A. 18 March 2008: All right, poster. Just change your number, be polite to her, and don't think more about the subject. If you make it easy for her to see that you're not interested, she will stop.... (read in full...)
Is it possible he doesn't masturbate to the porn on his computer??
Q. I recently found some porn pictures of nude female models in pictures by themselves and a couple of videos of girls undressing on my boyfriend's computer. We have been dating almost 2 years, and from the time I met him he has always told me that ...
A. 16 March 2008: Anonymous poster: You're great. Yeah, we can believe that someone actually reads Playboy. "Playboy worms", should we call 'em?... (read in full...)
If I don't get back with him he's threatening to move 263 miles away...
Q. I am 2 months pregnant, I have just left him as he is extremely possesive and paranoid, he now has decided if I don't get back with him he is moving 263 miles away from me and my child, leaving him would mean my baby has no father I am 18 and ...
A. 15 March 2008: I find it awful that a man who made you pregnant and knows you don't have where to go will blackmail you in this manner. It is his child you're expecting, and he's making use of that as a weapon. Blackmail is always hateful, but blackmail with ... (read in full...)
Do culture differences really make a difference??
Q. I am having a relationship with a zimbabwean man. I think it's love but for him, he seems a bit of a player. A lot of my friends (including some zimbabweans) say it's a culture thing... any views? Do culture differences really make a difference??...
A. 15 March 2008: Culture does make a hell of a lot of difference. Communication is very important in a couple; well, it's way more important for lovers of different cultures. You need to be very patient, very understanding and extremely sincere. You also need ... (read in full...)
Would it matter if I wear the same clothes to a second date??
Q. Okay, So I recently started dating this girl, she lives a fair bit away from me, (few hours) and I'm meeting her again soon for the second time. Do you think she will mind if I wear the same shoes? I know it sound's like a really stupid question, ...
A. 15 March 2008: Yep. If they are clean, she won't mind.... (read in full...)
Do boys find girls with glasses attractive??
Q. heyy im just wondering, do boys find girls who wear glasses attractive? I know this may be a dumb question but i wear them and i havent had a boyfriend and im 15... :( but anyway, im just wondering! :D...
A. 15 March 2008: I wear glasses myself. I can tell you that, depending on the frame you choose, of course, glasses can add tremendously to a girl's appeal. Don't worry about your wearing glasses. Think of it this way: people sometimes wear glasses to look more ... (read in full...)
Is it possible he doesn't masturbate to the porn on his computer??
Q. I recently found some porn pictures of nude female models in pictures by themselves and a couple of videos of girls undressing on my boyfriend's computer. We have been dating almost 2 years, and from the time I met him he has always told me that ...
A. 15 March 2008: Good question. I will try to do my best to answer.
It is possible for a man not to masturbate to porn. However, I don't think that is likely. If you will allow me some license in my example, it's like seeing pictures of food but never having t... (read in full...)
Sexual orientated texts from a married woman
Q. Would you consider it appropriate for a married woman to send text messages that have a sexual theme to a single man? There's a woman at my workplace who I foolishly gave my number to so she could send me, at the time, an innocent media message. Now ...
A. 15 March 2008: No matter the differences we may have in opinion, Ask_oldersister always comes up with something interesting. Yep, poster, you're bound to have this kind of problems everywhere, and you need to know how to manage them. My way to manage this is ... (read in full...)
Sexual orientated texts from a married woman
Q. Would you consider it appropriate for a married woman to send text messages that have a sexual theme to a single man? There's a woman at my workplace who I foolishly gave my number to so she could send me, at the time, an innocent media message. Now ...
A. 14 March 2008: Sorry. I suppose the poster does not mean messages that would be easy to take for only friendly. Everyone receives this sort of e-mail from friends and I'm sure we all know when they are definitely nothing but "friendly talk". My aunt sends me ... (read in full...)
Sexual orientated texts from a married woman
Q. Would you consider it appropriate for a married woman to send text messages that have a sexual theme to a single man? There's a woman at my workplace who I foolishly gave my number to so she could send me, at the time, an innocent media message. Now ...
A. 14 March 2008: Oops! I forgot. You don't know what her game is. You don't even know if she's playing a game or if she's seriously interested. But you do know she means trouble.
If she were hinting something, given that she's married and your coworker... (read in full...)
Sexual orientated texts from a married woman
Q. Would you consider it appropriate for a married woman to send text messages that have a sexual theme to a single man? There's a woman at my workplace who I foolishly gave my number to so she could send me, at the time, an innocent media message. Now ...
A. 14 March 2008: There can be something odd about it. Let's build the "decision tree" here.
She might be just being friendly, or she might be flirting. If she's just being friendly, any love interest in her is down to 50%.
She might be flirting with yo... (read in full...)
Is he too perfect for me?
Q. Dear Cupid, I love him, he's too perfect for me, but I can and will exist without him. I met him two years ago, he knocked me off my feet then left to go overseas. After a month of intoxicating deep emails, i visited him overseas. When we were fac...
A. 14 March 2008: Nobody is perfect, and this man is living proof of it.
He didn't respect you at all when he wrote all those e-mail messages and let you travel. He was mean in telling you he loved his ex only after all that time. And he was cowardly in not bein... (read in full...)
Obligation to disclose your relationship status?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am in a bit of a dilemma. I moved to a new town a couple of months. It's a beautiful old romantic town. I came here to start working at this company. I moved across an ocean to get here. I didn't have any intention of dating anyone...
A. 14 March 2008: I think she should have said something. She should have told you what you could expect from her, which is nothing, out of respect for you. And she should have told you about her status out of respect for her boyfriend.
Flirting is a gray are... (read in full...)
Is she telling the truth, I don't know what to think!
Q. my girlfriend has been cheating on me with a coworker. the coworker emailed me about it and told me so. i asked her and she denied it saying that she and the coworker didnt get along so the email was the coworkers way of fucking with her life. i ...
A. 14 March 2008: She could be sleeping with someone, or not. It's also possible that she used to sleep with that coworker, dumped him, and now the coworker is taking revenge. I find it curious that he suddenly thought about you and decided to "disclose" the thing. ... (read in full...)
Should I go to a "Gentleman's Club" to lose my virginity or am I selling myself short?
Q. Hey guys, I've been pondering this for a while now, but I'd like to get some outside opinions on this. I'm still a virgin at 20, and quite frankly I'm over it. It hasn't happened yet, I can't see it happening anytime soon, and I just feel bored ...
A. 14 March 2008: Oops! I forgot. Waiting for a nice girl to come along may not be futile (hard word), but it's the sure way not to have anyone. Some men have an easier time learning this lesson, but the truth is that you can't just hope that a nice woman will ... (read in full...)
Should I go to a "Gentleman's Club" to lose my virginity or am I selling myself short?
Q. Hey guys, I've been pondering this for a while now, but I'd like to get some outside opinions on this. I'm still a virgin at 20, and quite frankly I'm over it. It hasn't happened yet, I can't see it happening anytime soon, and I just feel bored ...
A. 14 March 2008: I would like to start by commending Flynn 24 on his excellent post. He told it just like it is. I disagree a bit about the porn but he was just excellent in summarizing why a man in the poster's situation would consider going to a "Gentleman's ... (read in full...)
I feel like a slave but he doesn't hit me too hard so maybe he will be better after we have children...
Q. My husband comes from a family where the men are always in charge. He was very nice to me when we were dating and after we got married he changed like he thinks he is my master. I feel like a slave sometimes and if I don't do what I am supposed to ...
A. 14 March 2008: I think there is no justification for beating you. And I am sure that things won't get better if you have a baby. Babies demand a lot of attention and care, and they mean a lot of stress.
I think you should leave him. I also think that you need... (read in full...)
Is he too damaged for a real relationship???
Q. I am confused about a friendship with a newly divorced man. Need to know how to interpret mixed signals and if we can/should make our friendship a real relationship. A couple of months ago I met a man through mutual friends. At his request ...
A. 14 March 2008: It seems like he is comfortable with things as they are now and would never want them to change. So I think you will never have a full relationship with this man. He might keep you in this same situation forever.... (read in full...)
Are these signs he wants me to leave (moving away my things)?
Q. i've been really stressed out over this the past few days and today just made it worse-pls help me!! been with my bf for 3 years. we are both 29 but I have 3 girls from a previous marriage. he's never had a live-in gf and i'm his longest relation...
A. 13 March 2008: I very much agree with Stem1981.
I believe that his saying that perhaps you're not right for each other, and his not answering your e-mails or calls, is more telling than the mattress or the other stuff. Maybe he does want to break it; I can't ... (read in full...)
He stood me up and now wants to make it up to me, should I let him?
Q. This guy asked me out and said he would call me last night at 6:30 and we could meet for dinner somewhere. I have known him about a month but this would be our first date. Well, 6:30 came and went and he never called the rest of the night. I was ...
A. 13 March 2008: Sometimes people do stupid things. However, you can usually tell when it was a mistake and when it wasn't.
I think that something indeed may have come up, but he should have apologized correctly, and certainly he should have called as soon as ... (read in full...)
Does my ex really want me back after a bad breakup or are these just "booty calls"?
Q. Does my ex girlfriend want to get back together? we broke up, very badly, and did not talk for a month. I called her and invited her to a party at my house. she came. i kept things light and did not mention the relationship at all, and even kept ...
A. 13 March 2008: I would think she wants you back. However, I would ask her, just in case... You need to know where you really stand, and the way to know is asking. If she doesn't give a clear answer, then she isn't interested in a serious relationship anymore.... (read in full...)
We broke up but she sees us together in the future, what does she mean?
Q. Hi, i have a question that keeps bothering me, I dated this girl for about 7 months till she broke up with me, the reason was that things didnt go really smooth between us. After the break up we somehow didnt lose touch and grew back together, b...
A. 12 March 2008: You have a very good reason to be in pain. I'm sure that nearly everyone has been there at one time. So I think it's easy to understand what you feel.
You didn't do anything in particular to make her go. You don't have to think that if you did ... (read in full...)
Is infidelity genetic?
Q. My boyfriend has confided in me that his dad cheated on his mom while they were married and that was the cause of their divorce. My question is, is my boyfriend more likely to cheat on me in the future because he has been exposed to and influence ...
A. 11 March 2008: Infidelity is not genetic. Borrowing from Eddie, someone who helps people here, it's a decision you make. The circumstances are beyond your control, but how you react to them is not. When you cheat, you decide to. If your boyfriend wants to stay ... (read in full...)
He has to work at getting an erection with me yet he gets one no problem when he looks at other women. Should I be worried?
Q. Most of the time my boyfriend has to work at getting an erection so we can have sex. He tells me that I turn him on but he has also told me that if he checks out another woman and is turned on by what he sees, he gets an erection quickly. Is this ...
A. 11 March 2008: Ask_Oldersister has a point. Maybe he's shoveling his problem at you. However, as eyeswideopen said, it's a little strange that a man his age would have that problem. Maybe the answer is that he has issues, but he prefers to shovel them at you?
... (read in full...)
She doesn't feel the same way... how can we still be friends?
Q. I am male and I am deeply in love with by best friend (female). She has known for years how I feel and has made it clear that she doesn't feel the same way which I respect. However, we have stayed close friends. We go on holiday together, she cooks ...
A. 11 March 2008: The problem here is that you refuse to accept that she will never be your woman. You need to accept it, and not in part but in full. The minute you stop longing after her, the problem will be gone. And you need to be willing for a little ... (read in full...)
He has to work at getting an erection with me yet he gets one no problem when he looks at other women. Should I be worried?
Q. Most of the time my boyfriend has to work at getting an erection so we can have sex. He tells me that I turn him on but he has also told me that if he checks out another woman and is turned on by what he sees, he gets an erection quickly. Is this ...
A. 11 March 2008: Maybe you should worry. I suspect, however, that he does feel some anxiety in your respect, which is not there when he just checks someone else out. Maybe he's afraid of "failing" with you?... (read in full...)
When a guy apologises, does he mean it and does he care about you?
Q. when a guy says sorry for hurt feelings, does that mean he cares about you?...
A. 11 March 2008: I agree with Ask_oldersister. It's his actions that count.
I have a hunch that someone apologized to you for something he did, and you are yet to see whether his words will match his actions. Be patient and wait; the ball is in his court.
... (read in full...)
Do I marry and die????
Q. I've been in this relationship for 6 years now. He claims he fell in love with me the moment he saw me and has wanted to marry me ever since. After a few years he went to another country to pursue his studies. I missed him terribly and decided to ...
A. 11 March 2008: Only you can know whether you're just confused because of the attention the other guy gave you, or you really love him and not your boyfriend. So the decision is yours.
You do seem very reluctant to marry your boyfriend. You don't say that you... (read in full...)
Is he with me only for sex, if he has an erection every time he sees or touches me?
Q. My boyfriend gets an erection each time he sees or touches me, is that a good sign? or does it mean he is with me just for sex. i need much response from the male sex....
A. 11 March 2008: I believe we don't have the information to say whether the boyfriend is with the poster only for the sex. His being turned on easily is no indication of his intentions.
If his being quick to have an erection indicated little love, then no erect... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend and he wants to have sex with me...
Q. Recently this 22 year old guy has been flirting with me, I know him from a friend. I know he wants to have sex with me but I'm unsure wether to or not. Because your first time is supposed to be special, I know it's illegal, but I really like him. He ...
A. 11 March 2008: You should not sleep with him. Sex with a minor is illegal for a good reason: the minor is at a disadvantage and might be easily abused. And I wonder whether a man who is that much older than you, and has a girlfriend, would be any good for you. ... (read in full...)
I have become the class joke but I am NOT gay as they tease! How can I cope??
Q. people at school keep calling me gay. relating me to everything gay. they don't stop. they are getting nasty now . i have become the class joke HOWEVER I AM NOT GAY. i feel almost suicidal and if other people didn't need help i would have done the ...
A. 11 March 2008: Some people need someone to be their victim. Refuse to be it. I know it's not that easy, but don't just take the blows.
When I was in school there was one guy everyone teased about being gay. He took all the blows and said nothing, until ev... (read in full...)
My boyfriend likes to choke me during sex.
Q. My boyfriend likes to choke me during sex. I told my female friend this and she said "thats hot" Is this normal? Why do people like this?...
A. 11 March 2008: If you don't like it, he shouldn't do it, particularly because you're the one who would die if things went out of control. If he won't stop, you stop it.
Also, I don't want to get into what's normal or abnormal, but I think most people would no... (read in full...)
Should I apologise or is it a lost cause?
Q. Hi... I was seeing this guy over the summer who is at an Ivy league business school and I'm in art school so we're opposites. Anyway over the summer he took me out to some really nice dinners but I didn't act too interested. Then I realized I ...
A. 11 March 2008: Don't apologize to him. You wanted a relationship, and that's not something that should upset people. But I agree with Paladin and Collaroy: it's a lost cause. You'd better move on.... (read in full...)
Does anyone else agree with me talking about another man's wife's boobs should be off limits?
Q. I'm 25 and just started seeing a new guy. He is 30 and all of his friends are married. We went to a social gathering at a married friend's house. They were nice people and had great kids. I thought it was going great until the wife of the host ...
A. 10 March 2008: Where I live, breast feeding takes place anywhere (even in churches, mind you). So we're sort of used to
a) a woman showing her boobs in public (they say they don't, but I don't think anyone will believe them)
b) their covering their b... (read in full...)
All my crush does is stare at me...but I don't want to approach him first.
Q. hey i am an 18 year old girl and this is my first crush.. I have this humungous crush on a guy studying in the same college as me but we dont have classes together..i have seen him staring at me a couple of times but when i look at him he turns aw...
A. 9 March 2008: If you're interested, let it show. He sounds like too shy to approach you. Maybe he thinks you wouldn't want anything at all with a nerd. I think you should try to find a way to talk to him, on any excuse, in order to break the ice and get him ... (read in full...)
We already have two kids and my partner does not desire a third member, whereas I am against abortions! Should I keep the baby?
Q. Hi. I'm 26 and I think I'm about 14 or 15 weeks pregnant(I havn't been for a scan yet). I found out a few weeks ago. It wasn't planned and was a bit of a shock. I have been in a relationship with my partner for about 12 years and we already have 2 ...
A. 8 March 2008: I believe you're right in keeping your baby, and I believe your husband is wrong and is not exactly in a good position to demand anything.
I asssume he's about your age. He knows all he needs to know about sex and reproduction, and he knows th... (read in full...)
He lied, cheated, stole, and is an alcholic. Why do I want him back?
Q. I was in a realtionship with an alcholic for nine months. we lived together right from the start. I knew what he was like, but yet i thought like everyone else i could change him. He cheated, lied, stole money from me, and treated me like crap. He ...
A. 8 March 2008: You need to understand that you have value yourself, and that you don't have to settle for the bad guys. You don't deserve to be treated that way. Stand your own ground, for your own sake. When you find true love, and I know you will, you will ... (read in full...)
I snooped and found out he cheated. How do I confront him on this?
Q. I am at a loss! I am in agony right now! I did something very bad and I know it. But he did something worse. My boyfriend accidentally left his email up on the computer and I know I should have just logged it out and ignored it. But I didnt. I ...
A. 8 March 2008: Sometimes people make "mistakes" that reveal their indiscretions in the hope that the other person will "accidentally" come upon them. This might have happened in this case, though it's not sure.
Snooping is wrong, yes, but that's not the issu... (read in full...)
I don't treat my boyfriend well...do I need medical help??
Q. Me and my BF are totally in love with each other for the past 3 years. I'm the only child in my family; most of the time im selfish but my man is not like that (he has a sister) i always get what i want, 3 yrs ago i want him as my boyfriend and now ...
A. 8 March 2008: No. You already know what your problem is. All you need is to act as you know you should.... (read in full...)
I can't bear the thought of spending the rest of my life with him...but he just won't leave.
Q. hi, ive been married 22 years and since i turned 40, 2 years ago, ive realised how unhappy i am and all i can remember of my 1st 20 yrs of marriage misery. My 2 kids are now grown up and im far from happy with my husband,, dont think i ever rea...
A. 7 March 2008: Oops! You said "he won't leave". If he won't, YOU do it. Of course the problem can be that you can't afford to leave, but, if that were the case, now is the time for you to be independent.... (read in full...)
I can't bear the thought of spending the rest of my life with him...but he just won't leave.
Q. hi, ive been married 22 years and since i turned 40, 2 years ago, ive realised how unhappy i am and all i can remember of my 1st 20 yrs of marriage misery. My 2 kids are now grown up and im far from happy with my husband,, dont think i ever rea...
A. 7 March 2008: I think you just need the courage to start a life on your own. That can be difficult, but I think the moment is just right. You're still in a moment when you can look after yourself in all ways. Your moment has come. Dare to live on your own, ... (read in full...)
How long do I wait?
Q. I went out with this girl for a few years. A few months back I decided to break it off and give each other some time. She wanted me back for a long time and we agreed that we would get back together in the new year. we talked all the time and hung ...
A. 6 March 2008: I agree with the girls, but particularly with Ask_oldersister: "You had your chance with her and you blew it, big time. Live with it." I also think that there must have been a reason for you to break up with her. Think about that, too.... (read in full...)
When I ejaculate, It's see through. Does this mean I'm firing blanks???
Q. Ok, I'm 17 and whenever I come i ejaculate and everything but it's clear.....as in see through. Does this mean I'm 'shooting blanks'? I'm REALLY worried...
A. 5 March 2008: Well, that explains it all :-). Fortunately, porn is not like real life. Wait for, say, three days, and you'll see how white it gets.... (read in full...)
When I ejaculate, It's see through. Does this mean I'm firing blanks???
Q. Ok, I'm 17 and whenever I come i ejaculate and everything but it's clear.....as in see through. Does this mean I'm 'shooting blanks'? I'm REALLY worried...
A. 4 March 2008: Sorry, ladies. It does matter how often he ejaculates. If he's ejaculating ten times a day, the "white" in the ejaculate is depleted. That is because the testes produce only so much spermatozoa a day. Any man knows that there will be more ... (read in full...)
When I ejaculate, It's see through. Does this mean I'm firing blanks???
Q. Ok, I'm 17 and whenever I come i ejaculate and everything but it's clear.....as in see through. Does this mean I'm 'shooting blanks'? I'm REALLY worried...
A. 3 March 2008: How often do you ejaculate?... (read in full...)
Is he too damaged for a real relationship???
Q. I am confused about a friendship with a newly divorced man. Need to know how to interpret mixed signals and if we can/should make our friendship a real relationship. A couple of months ago I met a man through mutual friends. At his request ...
A. 29 December 2007: I think you will have to wait and see. I have an opinion about this, but I will not say a word. I will wait and see, too.... (read in full...)
Is he too damaged for a real relationship???
Q. I am confused about a friendship with a newly divorced man. Need to know how to interpret mixed signals and if we can/should make our friendship a real relationship. A couple of months ago I met a man through mutual friends. At his request ...
A. 31 August 2007: If I were you, I would run to the hills and put him not on the "friends" drawer but on the "failed relationships" one. I doubt he will ever commit to you. He said it straight: he is happy with things the way they are now, and a little sex would ... (read in full...)
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