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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
Just some fun!
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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Is he too damaged for a real relationship???
Q. I am confused about a friendship with a newly divorced man. Need to know how to interpret mixed signals and if we can/should make our friendship a real relationship. A couple of months ago I met a man through mutual friends. At his request ...
A. 14 March 2008: It seems like he is comfortable with things as they are now and would never want them to change. So I think you will never have a full relationship with this man. He might keep you in this same situation forever.... (read in full...)
He left because I wanted to keep our baby! Now I've had a missacriage, I'm scared and should I get back together with him? How?
Q. Well, here goes nothing, I was pregnant and when I told my boyfriend, he told me to get rid of it and I said no, that I wanted to keep it, then we had a massive argument and in the end, it resulted with us breaking up and him leaving (we used to ...
A. 12 January 2008: I'm glad that you feel I helped you. Take much care and don't hesitate to contact us again if you need more support.... (read in full...)
I thought we were both virgins, but she isnt , can we still have a future?
Q. I am just about to get married, and I am still a virgin. I just found out my future wife has had sex with a couple guys before me. I was hurt when i found this out...and still am...because I was expecting her to be a virgin too... I love her very ...
A. 8 January 2008: No one is "entitled" to marry a virgin. No one can "expect" a girl (or a man, for that matter) to be a virgin, because the other party was not "expecting" you to come into her/his life. And then, if you had an expectation she didn't meet, you can ... (read in full...)
Do any men like giving oral?
Q. I have only ever been with the one man in my life and he does not enjoy performing oral sex on a woman. He claims that men just DON'T like it at all. This may be a stupid and very obvious question I should know the answer to, but because I have o...
A. 7 January 2008: In a nutshell: some men like it, some other men don't. You happen to be involved with one who doesn't.... (read in full...)
My husband wants me to sleep with a male prostitute to get pregnant!
Q. I'm 24, my husband's 26, and we've been married for 3 years now. We have a good lifestyle and our sex life is good. My husband is a very nice person, well-liked and popular and doesn't get jealous when I'm with other guys or on girls' nights ou...
A. 7 January 2008: I think something is the matter with your husband. I won't say "normal", but it's not "usual" to find a husband who wants his wife to sleep with someone else. And it's even more rare the man who wants to raise somebody else's child. If he wants a ... (read in full...)
What's up with these men I meet, any ideas from the guys out ther?
Q. Any answers from men in particular would be appreciated. I have been dating again for about a year after eight year and I've dated a handful of men during that time who have behaved in a manner that I find irritating. On the around the fifth...
A. 7 January 2008: I will be very frank with you. You gave me the answer to what is going on yourself. Here it is:
"...I had already stated early on with each of them that I was not wanting to rush into any kind of committed relationship, particularly emotiona... (read in full...)
How can you live with a bossy controlling man, the nice ones bore me
Q. How do you stay in a relationship with a difficult man? And don't tell me they don't exist, I see them all the time. They're the guys who lose their temper over every little thing, think they have to tell a woman what to do all the time, are bossy ...
A. 7 January 2008: This is a very interesting post, and I think the ladies should answer. Me, this time I will learn.... (read in full...)
Do you think I am ready to date again? Can men have successful relationships with single mums?
Q. Hi there I am a mum of two children, aged 24. I recently broke up with my childhood sweetheart (father of kids) almost a year ago (He cheated). Although we had a reconcilliation in August which didnt last long!. I would like to start dating again ...
A. 6 January 2008: Ask for Eddie's help, too.... (read in full...)
Do you think I am ready to date again? Can men have successful relationships with single mums?
Q. Hi there I am a mum of two children, aged 24. I recently broke up with my childhood sweetheart (father of kids) almost a year ago (He cheated). Although we had a reconcilliation in August which didnt last long!. I would like to start dating again ...
A. 6 January 2008: One more comment. You posted your question on a weekend. Try to post it again now, so people get to see in on Monday. You will get more points of view from other people. Also, perhaps you can contact other agony aunts and uncles. I would ... (read in full...)
Do you think I am ready to date again? Can men have successful relationships with single mums?
Q. Hi there I am a mum of two children, aged 24. I recently broke up with my childhood sweetheart (father of kids) almost a year ago (He cheated). Although we had a reconcilliation in August which didnt last long!. I would like to start dating again ...
A. 6 January 2008: Poster, just don't give up. You sound like a very good woman. I'm sure someone will notice that. As to your having baggage, well, it all depends on the point of view. Your suitcases can be filled with lead bars, or golden bars. You choose.
... (read in full...)
Do you think I am ready to date again? Can men have successful relationships with single mums?
Q. Hi there I am a mum of two children, aged 24. I recently broke up with my childhood sweetheart (father of kids) almost a year ago (He cheated). Although we had a reconcilliation in August which didnt last long!. I would like to start dating again ...
A. 6 January 2008: To answer your question, I believe that yes, there are men out there who could have a successful relationship with you. However, I think some remarks are in order.
First, you need to be very sure you're over your ex. First, out of principl... (read in full...)
He anally raped me, treated me like a toy. Should I finish with him?
Q. me and my boyfriend were having sex the other night, and he asked me for anal. I've done it once before with him and didnt really enjoy it but it didnt hurt so i thought it would be fine again, not realising last time i dont it i was very drunk ...
A. 4 January 2008: Finish him now. Did you notice he asked whether it was hurting you? That is, not only he didn't care he was hurting; he wanted you to feel pain.... (read in full...)
He slept with THREE different women while on a road trip. His excuse was "He had needs". I'm very hurt. What should I do?
Q. this past summer my boyfriend went on a month long road trip with his buddies. i stayed home to work for tuition money, so i couldnt go along. he called me everyday and we talked for a while. i never suspected anything bad was going on. but just a ...
A. 2 January 2008: I'm with rcn, Landie, Salad Barbarian and the anonymous poster. Dump him. He will do it again. Considering the terrible excuse he is giving, I wouldn't be surprised to discover that he's been sleeping with other girls all the time. Perhaps this ... (read in full...)
Are men really that unsure about relationships? Is it just better to maintain a strict no contact policy from now?
Q. Happy New Year everyone. Well, I broke up with my boyfriend three months ago and even though I made it clear that I couldn't be his friend- not now anyway- he calls often. Last night, he came to my place- we live three hours away by train. Said he ...
A. 2 January 2008: I'm with Bitterblue. By allowing him to do all he does, you are giving him the signal that what you want, really, is to go back with him.
I wouldn't be open to another chance. His saying he is "confused" would be too much. If he's confused... (read in full...)
How do testicles change during puberty? Is it painful?
Q. when you go through puberty, do your testicles actually drop downwards? and is this painful? please help!...
A. 2 January 2008: No, they don't drop and -obviously- it doesn't hurt.... (read in full...)
Is he stringing me along or trying to breakup with me in a nice way?
Q. I dated a guy for four months. While that may not seem like a long time, we had a strong connection, all our friends also said we were perfect for eachother. Out of the blue he broke up with me. To add to us breaking up, we live an hour apart, saw ...
A. 30 December 2007: I suppose you must be feeling confused with his behavior and what he says. I believe you need clear-cut answers. Here you have mine.
He spoke softly and with sweet words, but he broke up with you all the same. Some people would think this is ... (read in full...)
Is this weird or is it just me?
Q. Have been in an "emotional" relationship with a younger man for almost a year now (younger by 5 years. I am a married woman, he has had a girlfriend. We have been working up to finally leading to something sexual. So here's the confusing part...he ...
A. 30 December 2007: I just want to add that it seems that the poster seems to be developing feelings for the young man, while he isn't. He is obviously pursuing other interests. This alone would be enough for us to recommend to stop seeing him. But I say "amen" to ... (read in full...)
Is he too damaged for a real relationship???
Q. I am confused about a friendship with a newly divorced man. Need to know how to interpret mixed signals and if we can/should make our friendship a real relationship. A couple of months ago I met a man through mutual friends. At his request ...
A. 29 December 2007: I think you will have to wait and see. I have an opinion about this, but I will not say a word. I will wait and see, too.... (read in full...)
Am I doing the right thing? What do I say next time we meet?
Q. A long-time family friend (we are both divorced; he has been attracted to me for some time) suddenly contacted me, we started to text message/phone each other, and went out on a few casual dates. This changed our friendship but over a period o...
A. 28 December 2007: In a way, you should be glad you saw him walking outside of the movie theater. This will spare you the pain and the agony, and will keep your dignity safe. And now you have a good reason to move on and be happy.
Take care, and don't let this aff... (read in full...)
Am I doing the right thing? What do I say next time we meet?
Q. A long-time family friend (we are both divorced; he has been attracted to me for some time) suddenly contacted me, we started to text message/phone each other, and went out on a few casual dates. This changed our friendship but over a period o...
A. 27 December 2007: I'm sorry to say this, but I think he isn't interested in a relationship with you. The time you spent together has led him to think that it's best if you don't get involved with each other anymore. If I were you, I would stay away from him. This ... (read in full...)
Would you let your husband go away for the weekend with a woman he fancies?
Q. I have been with my husband for eleven years now, and although things are fairly good between us, he has developed a crush on another woman. He met her on a weekend away with the boys in the middle of summer, and has been sending odd messages her...
A. 27 December 2007: I find it obvious that the interest of your husband is well beyond that of a friend. He doesn't have simply a crush on this person; apparently he wants a deep involvement with her.
Sometimes you need to draw a line in the sand and make a threat i... (read in full...)
The only person that ever notices me is my fiance. What should I do?
Q. o.k. so here is the thing I'm completely invisable to my family. They don't care what i want or what i say they just go on about their lives like i don't exist and i don't know what to do. I extremely close to lashing out but i don''t want to do ...
A. 27 December 2007: Many people are or have been in your situation. All you can do is keep going. I know that feeling nobody notices you is awful, but then you have a life to live and you can't stand still in that situation. At least you have a loving fiancé who ... (read in full...)
She won't have any further contact with me after six years. What should I do?
Q. My girlfriend of 6 years just left me 5 weeks ago. She was with me all the time right after work and weekends. She seemed fine and same as normal. On saturday night she came over then went to baby sit like she always did now and again. I spoke to ...
A. 27 December 2007: Majray1, my advice, again, is that you stop trying to communicate with her. Your attitude will border on harassment, and this would only ADD and WORSEN your problem. Sometimes it's wise to accept that we can't keep insisting.... (read in full...)
Me and my neice are in love and I don't know what to do, would it be ok to date her?
Q. me and my neice are in love and i dont know what to do shes alot younger than me. i look after her quite alot and she flirts with me alot and on purpose does things so i get glimpses of her body by bending over infront of me so i can see down her ...
A. 27 December 2007: You know this is wrong.... (read in full...)
I've told my bf I'm not ready to have sex yet, but he keeps texting me sex related texts. When I confront him he says he is only joking, what do you think?
Q. im 14 and i have a boyfriend who is turning 15 in two months yesterday i was text messaging with him and me asked if i had ever had sex, i said no. He asked me if i would like to have sex with him, i was shoked and alarmed, i picked up my phone an...
A. 27 December 2007: Yeap, it's Spanish and English :-).... (read in full...)
When coming home early from a hunting trip I found a used condom on our bedside table! Should I confront her? And what about the extraordinarily amount of semen, does that mean she has a much younger lover?
Q. My wife and I are in our 50's in age. To my knowledge there has not been any extramarital encounters that I have been aware of and no reasons to think otherwise until recently. My wife works late night shifts and I arrived home early one morning...
A. 27 December 2007: As is very often the case, I agree with Baby Duck. Sir, it is very clear that your wife slept with another man. The odds of that condom having been used with someone else are very small, to say the least. You have material proof of her ... (read in full...)
How to control an obsession and depression due to a forbidden love? Does any one understand what I feel?
Q. I am married, total time together 10 years. We have a beautiful and sweet 9 months old daughter. Unfortunately, right after stoping the pills to get pregnant I fell madly in love with a younger guy from work, it was 2 years ago. We never touched. ...
A. 27 December 2007: This is a difficult situation. I wouldn't like to find myself where you are.
I suppose that the only advice I can give is that you need to be strong and keep what you've been doing, in spite of depression and pain. You had a reason to stay wit... (read in full...)
I've told my bf I'm not ready to have sex yet, but he keeps texting me sex related texts. When I confront him he says he is only joking, what do you think?
Q. im 14 and i have a boyfriend who is turning 15 in two months yesterday i was text messaging with him and me asked if i had ever had sex, i said no. He asked me if i would like to have sex with him, i was shoked and alarmed, i picked up my phone an...
A. 27 December 2007: In English and Spanish, for other people to add their opinions, and because it would be so unnatural for two Mexicans to communicate in English:
Tu novio quiere que duermas con él y no te va a decir si ya estuvo con alguien o no.
Your boyfrien... (read in full...)
I would like men's opinions on his behaviour
Q. OK im writing this where i can get as much help from any men as possible. I recently started seeing this guy who i really liked. then i few weeks ago hes mate asked if i could take him somewhere then drop him back at his house, which i did i also w...
A. 26 December 2007: I think these two had something going. I can't really tell what, but it might be that the two just wanted to sleep with you. Their behavior, specially that of the guy you liked, is like you weren't really important to them.
Maybe you will nev... (read in full...)
I love him but he loves his ex, do I wait for him to get over her?
Q. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 8 months now. Having been out of the dating scene for 9 years and being a mother this time around, seems to complicate things a bit. My real question at this time hinges on the fact that he ...
A. 26 December 2007: Poster, I see many reasons why you shouldn't wait.
First of all, I think that anyone who comes near you has to offer you a good "deal". S/he needs to come willing to make the relationship work, or then s/he'd better not come. This isn't only a m... (read in full...)
She won't have any further contact with me after six years. What should I do?
Q. My girlfriend of 6 years just left me 5 weeks ago. She was with me all the time right after work and weekends. She seemed fine and same as normal. On saturday night she came over then went to baby sit like she always did now and again. I spoke to ...
A. 26 December 2007: I'm with Baby Duck once again. I think my saying "Me, too" is a way of adding strength to Baby Duck's excellent advice.
Sometimes people prefer to believe the lies or the bad stories over what they were able to see in you. I know for a fact tha... (read in full...)
Is she ready to make such a commitment?
Q. Questions I have Im in a serious relationship I love my gf to bits. But I see problems before there coming and she cant seam to see them . My trouble is that her sis lives next door and her mum live 30 seconds away. I think its nice in a way...
A. 26 December 2007: You're posting a series of very good question, sir.
First, I would like to say that I agree with you. Your son comes before you, yes, but not all the time. Maybe it will sound inappropriate to say this, but I have found that a trait of a good f... (read in full...)
How do I resist the temptation to cheat?
Q. How do i resist the temptation to cheat? I have been with my girlfriend for four years and i have always been faithful but every now and then a very very tempting offer comes up. A couple years ago a gorgeous girl started working with me and we ...
A. 26 December 2007: I understand the wants, the attraction, the desire, et cetera. I won't tell you that part is wrong because you have eyes and you're young. I will say two things:
A) If you're committed to someone else, it's wrong to give in to these wishes. ... (read in full...)
I have been seeing a guy in secret...
Q. I am seeing a guy in secret. He is 12 years older than me and i've been with him for 6 months. I really love him and i we have just had sex for the first time. It was my first time i've ever done something like that and now i can't stop thinking ...
A. 26 December 2007: You're normal, dear. There is nothing wrong with your feeling the way you feel and your wanting what you want.
I'm worried about you, however. You're relationship with this 27 year old is not appropriate, but, most of all, it's not convenie... (read in full...)
She won't have any further contact with me after six years. What should I do?
Q. My girlfriend of 6 years just left me 5 weeks ago. She was with me all the time right after work and weekends. She seemed fine and same as normal. On saturday night she came over then went to baby sit like she always did now and again. I spoke to ...
A. 26 December 2007: Excellent advice from Baby Duck, particularly as to the fact that sometimes you have no closure but you need to go on. This is exactly what you need to do now.
I just would like to add an experience of mine. Sometimes, you need to go on, and ... (read in full...)
Very confused!!!
Q. Is emotional cheating as bad as physical cheating? Here is the issue I am away from my husband as we only communicate via messenger but most of the time we have nothing to say. I met someone who I love to chat with he knows I am married. He is no...
A. 26 December 2007: Yes. But it's also a case of a deeply human need for affection. You're doing it because you need this sort of affection and care and you're not receiving it from the person who should be giving it. Can you solve this situation?... (read in full...)
Erotic humiliation...
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a dominant female and my boyfriend is very submissive and because of this our relationship works well. I like to dress him up in my underwear and tease him and he quite clearly enjoys this. In fact he enjoys cross dressing co...
A. 26 December 2007: I'm not sure about legal problems. But I wouldn't do it. However, I have a clear bias against humiliating someone.... (read in full...)
Am I right to question his integrity??
Q. I am seeing a guy who I go to university with. He is home for the holidays (Diff. Province entirely). We have been using web cam to stay in touch. I was taken by surprise when I saw that he was 'shaven'. My question pertains to why might he shave ...
A. 25 December 2007: I agree with Dearkelja. If you add everything, it does seem like he is involved with someone else. He should give you some explanations, but I'm afraid they won't come from him if you don't ask. Listen to what he says and decide on that basis.
... (read in full...)
We're just friends. She wants us to be more, but I don't. She's coming to a dinner party tomorrow, what can I do to show her I'm just a friend?
Q. Hi everybody, it's Andy. I'm in a slightly uncomfortable situation. I know in the past I have posted questions regarding my ex-girlfriend, and how I feel like love will not come my way for a long time, but it's questions like this one that will pr...
A. 24 December 2007: I'm fully with Dearkelja. She is JUST RIGHT. When it comes to love, you need clear signs, clear words, solid ground to step on, whether it's good or bad news. You need to know what comes next, what to expect. If you just see her as a friend, ... (read in full...)
Why did he hurt me like that?
Q. Why did he hurt me like that? I was in a relationship for 1.5 years with a man who i thought was the love of my life. We met at work, and tried to keep the relationship secret, it didnt last very long. There was a girl at work that i didnt get...
A. 24 December 2007: Goodgirl, you chose a good nickname. You are indeed a good girl and you gave this man everything he could wish for. Or, at the very least, way, way more than he deserved to receive. But, he is a bastard and failed to appreciate the jewel he had ... (read in full...)
He broke up with me because I did not sleep with him. Then he met another girl who got pregnant and married her. Now, 7 months later he called me to say he misses me, what is going on?
Q. Hiya, i am 21 and have a problem . I met a guy when i was 15 and was seeing him since for the last 4 years. He left me when i was 19 because i did notr sleep with him due to religious reasons. He then slept with someone else...realised that he is ...
A. 24 December 2007: I'm with the anonymous agony aunt. Whether he loves you or not, he can't (maybe he won't) offer you what you need. You don't need this sort of problems. Find yourself someone who will be able to commit fully.
I have a suspicion that perhaps ... (read in full...)
With or without a condom....which way is less painful??
Q. My girlfriend said that it hurt's her less with a condom but i have also heard that it hurt's more with a condom. What do you think? Any tip's will help becouse i want to hurt her as little as i can....
A. 24 December 2007: Sex shouldn't be painful, with or without a condom. If she complained about "pain", then perhaps you are too rough, or she has an allergy or something like that. But the most likely reason, I guess, is her not wanting to become pregnant. And I am ... (read in full...)
Am I right to question his integrity??
Q. I am seeing a guy who I go to university with. He is home for the holidays (Diff. Province entirely). We have been using web cam to stay in touch. I was taken by surprise when I saw that he was 'shaven'. My question pertains to why might he shave ...
A. 24 December 2007: The fact that you mention his shaving suggests that he hadn't done it before. If shaving the pubic area were something he usually does, then I suppose you wouldn't talk about it.
I also suppose you have been intimate before, or he wouldn't... (read in full...)
He left because I wanted to keep our baby! Now I've had a missacriage, I'm scared and should I get back together with him? How?
Q. Well, here goes nothing, I was pregnant and when I told my boyfriend, he told me to get rid of it and I said no, that I wanted to keep it, then we had a massive argument and in the end, it resulted with us breaking up and him leaving (we used to ...
A. 22 October 2007: I'm sorry about the baby.
Dear, I will be very direct and perhaps harsh. I don't think he would provide the kind of support you need. He ran away the minute he saw trouble. He didn't have any objections to having sex with you, but he did obje... (read in full...)
Is he too damaged for a real relationship???
Q. I am confused about a friendship with a newly divorced man. Need to know how to interpret mixed signals and if we can/should make our friendship a real relationship. A couple of months ago I met a man through mutual friends. At his request ...
A. 31 August 2007: If I were you, I would run to the hills and put him not on the "friends" drawer but on the "failed relationships" one. I doubt he will ever commit to you. He said it straight: he is happy with things the way they are now, and a little sex would ... (read in full...)
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