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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
Just some fun!
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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Do men put on a condom for oral sex, and why?
Q. Do men put on a condom for oral sex, and why?...
A. 18 February 2008: Another reason: in order not to get a disease yourself.... (read in full...)
Turns out the girl I slept with is much older than me and married with kids!!! I had absolutely no idea!
Q. Dear Cupid, Not sure what to do about my problem, so here we go... I was out on Saturday night, at a bar near where I live. I met a girl I liked, we had a few drinks, and we continued on to a club. More drinks, and we ended back at my frie...
A. 18 February 2008: Tuatara is just right. I just would add another "scenario": her marriage may be in ruins already, but she might still be playing with you. This happens all the time. You didn't know what you were up to, but now you do.... (read in full...)
Planning to give him some space/time to cool off, but I don't want him to break up with me. What should I do?
Q. My bf and i have been together for 1 year now. we had many fights before (mostly because of his problems and i forgave him). Recently we had a big fight and both got very emotional at that time. He and I both admitted that we both were at fault. ...
A. 17 February 2008: His e-mail can be a good or a bad sign.
Good: he at least kept contact. The relationship is ailing but he's still there.
Bad: He didn't do what he had to, since you're still officially in a relationship.
It seems that the meaning is the ... (read in full...)
My main problem is that she refuses to give me a blow job and she won't let me finish in her mouth...
Q. Ok, for starters I have been in a relationship for almost 2 years now, and I like to think I've been a good boyfriend. I do everything to make my relationship work, for example I clean the house every day after I get home from work and on my days ...
A. 17 February 2008: Good point, Tisha-1. It is now clear that oral sex is not the only thing that''s making the poster unhappy. I also believe he needs to think more carefully in the relationship as a whole.
And if you're going to cheat, poster, why not just lea... (read in full...)
What does he mean by not wanting to put a label on our relationship
Q. I have been seeing this guy for a little while now,I'm ready to move to the next level but he likes it the ways it is, and doesn't want to put a label on what we have going on now..How should I take that?? Are we a couple?? Or are we just friends ...
A. 16 February 2008: I sincerely hope your relationship with him improves and becomes what you need and want.... (read in full...)
What does he mean by not wanting to put a label on our relationship
Q. I have been seeing this guy for a little while now,I'm ready to move to the next level but he likes it the ways it is, and doesn't want to put a label on what we have going on now..How should I take that?? Are we a couple?? Or are we just friends ...
A. 16 February 2008: Sandman said it all. He enjoys your company, but he won't commit to you. If you're fine with this, fine. If not, well... he won't give you more.... (read in full...)
Is he maybe just really busy, or is he just blowing me off?
Q. OK, here goes. I met this guy while I went home to my families. The last day I was there. He tells me that its so unfair that I had been there that long and had just met him. Really good looking and intelligent. It was immediate. I really liked him. ...
A. 16 February 2008: Seems like he's blowing you off. The key phrase is "I'll call you". Which is a way to say "Don't call me".
Don't underestimate your appeal. Maybe he couldn't find someone like you where he lives. That doesn't mean, however, that he wants to... (read in full...)
Follow Up for the Ladies - The B-cup Cleavage Question
Q. Hello again! Thanks everyone for your advice and putting up with my cleavage obsession. I've tried the push up bra but it still doesn't help - bras never bring my breasts close enough together. And smaller bras make the flab underneath my armpits ...
A. 16 February 2008: I'm not a lady but perhaps I can give an opinion. Of all the examples you gave, the only one I would fancy is Rachel Weisz. So I googled her name and found some pictures where she is NOT wearing the sort of bra you want to use. She looked good! ... (read in full...)
Any thoughts on the game he might be playing??
Q. Hoping someone can help me here as I need it. I dated a guy for a bit last year. I must admit that it was one sided...more on my part. I would not sleep with him as fast as he wanted so he let me go...in a nice way but it was still a blow. Both of ...
A. 16 February 2008: It seems he can't handle the fact you didn't sleep with him when he wanted. I guess he would like to "get even", but he can't, so he resorts to this silly game.
It must be hard to ignore him since you sit in the same committee, but I think I ... (read in full...)
Sometimes I am laid in his bed naked and he is still masturbating to porn...what should I do??
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for three years. We have sex almost everyday, sometimes more than once. I want to know why he is looking at porn everyday, sometimes more than once? I try my best to satisfy him. Am I the problem? I tried to talk to ...
A. 16 February 2008: Obviously he has a problem with pornography. It's clear that sometimes -only sometimes- he prefers looking at a screen over a real woman. This doesn't have anything at all to do with you. He obviously enjoys being with you.
I'm afraid he needs... (read in full...)
He's perfect for me except when it comes to the bedroom!
Q. Hello. I really need some help here. But im to embariced to talk to any of my friends. well I got engaged 1 1/2 ago and we are getting married in 2 months. we started having sex about 4 months ago and then I thought it would get better as time went ...
A. 15 February 2008: I don't think I can improve or add much to what the others have already said. I just would like you to take very much notice of one thing: a man is to know how well he is doing it from his woman only. If you say everything is perfect, how is he ... (read in full...)
My main problem is that she refuses to give me a blow job and she won't let me finish in her mouth...
Q. Ok, for starters I have been in a relationship for almost 2 years now, and I like to think I've been a good boyfriend. I do everything to make my relationship work, for example I clean the house every day after I get home from work and on my days ...
A. 15 February 2008: I guess none of us expected this. You need to talk to her and see what the problem is. There needs to be a reason.... (read in full...)
What do readers think of a singleton going out with someone's who's got children already?
Q. A girl likes me, but she's got 2 children, 5 and 6. What do readers think of a singleton going out with someone's who's got children already?...
A. 15 February 2008: I believe this singleton needs to think carefully whether he's ready to this sort of responsibility.
I see you're 26-29 years old. That means that most likely you will want a child of your own flesh and blood. Is she willing to do that?
... (read in full...)
Why has my boyfriend saved those videos?
Q. Ok, I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. We were both in realationships prior to us being together. I snooped and found a camcorder, with some videotapes. I find out he had been filming various types of females, while he was in his old ...
A. 15 February 2008: I agree with the poster: this isn't funny at all. This is not like "America's Funniest Home Videos". If a 13 year old were doing this, maybe I could think he's just immature; but we're talking about a grown up man here, someone who should know ... (read in full...)
How can I compete with the 'train wrecks'??
Q. Before I met my b/f he had a tendency to get involved with what I call "train wrecks", meaning women who were kinda bad, kinda bad for him, unstable, unpredictable, kinda wild, kinda raunchy, didn't have much of an education, sometimes didn't work, ...
A. 15 February 2008: I met someone who was on her way to being a "train wreck". Or, maybe, someone who would have been one if she had been born in other circumstances. The girl was simply gorgeous, perhaps the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Or among the top ... (read in full...)
She is sending me mixed signals, EH?
Q. there is a girl that in my class and i like her. my friends and her say she doesn't like me. but she always stares at me in class treats me differently, plays mean and makes attmempts to touch me. she smiles around me and yet treats me playfully ...
A. 15 February 2008: She digs you but be careful. Follow the advice by the anonymous poster.... (read in full...)
Why has my boyfriend saved those videos?
Q. Ok, I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. We were both in realationships prior to us being together. I snooped and found a camcorder, with some videotapes. I find out he had been filming various types of females, while he was in his old ...
A. 15 February 2008: I see more than one issue here.
It seems to me you're feeling insecure. The fact that he looked at other women with such "interest" is bothering you. But I can't really determine whether you're bothered for his past looking, or because you thin... (read in full...)
My main problem is that she refuses to give me a blow job and she won't let me finish in her mouth...
Q. Ok, for starters I have been in a relationship for almost 2 years now, and I like to think I've been a good boyfriend. I do everything to make my relationship work, for example I clean the house every day after I get home from work and on my days ...
A. 15 February 2008: If a girl doesn't enjoy giving oral sex, even good boyfriends don't get it. She has to want to. I wonder what her reason can be, however; do inquire into it.... (read in full...)
I walked out of his home two weeks ago after he said he didn't want a dead relationship and he hasn't made any contact... do I ring him???
Q. I believe my relationship of 8 years is over. The past 2 years haven't been too good for either of us due to my belief that he was seeing someone else. I'm sure he had a fling but he made a lot of effort to keep us together. Alas my trust was not as ...
A. 15 February 2008: Sorry it has taken so long to answer. It seems to me that your mistrust is still there, but I can't say it is entirely without foundation.
Actually there's no way for you to know when he joined that website. Maybe he was already a member b... (read in full...)
My girl slept with someone else while we were on a 'break' and I cant get over it
Q. Heres the deal, my girlfriend of 4yrs and I had a break that lasted a month during the summer, during which we saw other people. When we got back together, I asked her if she had slept with anyone, to which she replied no.Recently she told me that ...
A. 15 February 2008: I think you should end this relationship. What's more, I think you should have broken up with her the moment she asked for a break. Do you want to know why? Because
1) people who really love you don't ask for breaks. And, reading your pos... (read in full...)
How long should I wait before calling her?
Q. Before I say what happened I would like to say I am a genuine person and not a player! rite.. I was out last nite and I gathered the courage to ask for this girls number. I know her friend and had a bit of a dance with her. I asked if she had...
A. 15 February 2008: It's interesting to see the posts by the ladies. Once, I was given a very good piece of advice. If it's not, ladies, let me know. The advice was that you should wait for a week. Why that long? Because players will have forgotten you by then. ... (read in full...)
Does she want me or not??
Q. My girl friend is very hard to understand there are times when i feel like she wants me then other times she acts like she doesn't want me around; during these times i'll try to call her and she doesn't answer me so then i stop trying. After ...
A. 14 February 2008: I think Serinity is just right. You're not handling this problem in the correct manner. You need to talk to her.
I will only add that you also need to make up your mind whether you will continue to put up with her behavior. After you talk to ... (read in full...)
Is it too early to ask him to recommit to being my boyfriend? What is keeping him from asking me to be his girlfriend again if he loves me "with all his heart"?
Q. I had been living with my boyfriend for about six- seven months. We loved eachother and we spent everyday together---things seemed perfect. We talked about getting married one day, spending the rest of our lives together, about buying a house. M...
A. 14 February 2008: Your question is a very good one. I think you should know the answer, the sooner, the better. You need to know where you stand with him.
I wish I could say otherwise, but I feel uneasy about him. He was living with you, you were talking ... (read in full...)
Happy Valentine's Day to all!!!
Q. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to all the aunts and readers! May Cupid's arrow strike true and pure on this day devoted to love: romantic love, platonic love, family love, love for your pets, etc.!!! Love to all, Manya XX00...
A. 14 February 2008: Thank you. I make your wishes mine, too.... (read in full...)
Why would he tolerate the silly situation he is in now?
Q. I need help and hope that the amazing agony aunts can help. I split with my boyfriend of thirteen years two and a half years ago. I have been dating but not really seriously. He returned to him hometown a long way away and promptly met someone ...
A. 14 February 2008: I think you should not give him another chance. She is playing him, but he is playing you, and -I'm sorry to say- that's because you're letting him. He broke up with you, but then he won't let you free to rebuild your own life with someone who ... (read in full...)
She gives me mixed signals, I'm confused
Q. Looking for any advise here, I'm really confused. And sorry this is long, I like to ramble, and there is a long ish back story. I met a girl about 3 weeks ago when I was out with friends. There was an amazing attraction between us both straight aw...
A. 13 February 2008: Crystal clear: she doesn't want to get involved with you. And she didn't dump you out of the blue. You just failed to notice she was measuring you up all the time, and you failed her test. You're not what she wants. You need to accept it and ... (read in full...)
Does she have someone on the side???
Q. Okay I have been dating this chick for over 6 months now and I notice that her ex that she use to deal with calls her from time to time asking her wassup. Now my thing is this if you have a relationship with someone else and your ex partner calls, ...
A. 13 February 2008: Before saying anything, is this all you have, or is there anything else that makes you suspect her?... (read in full...)
I want a baby after I was forced into an abortion by my family. Will I feel this emptiness forever?
Q. in november i found out i was pregnant, i told my bf and he was sooooo happy, he was ready to be a man, look after me and the baby, this is something we had talked about for a long time, just felt we were too young. but then i became pregnant and we ...
A. 13 February 2008: I urge you to get counselling and support, poster. See what the anonymous agony aunt said about her own grief. You don't want that to happen to you.
And my sympathies to you, anonymous agony aunt, too. I wish I could cast a spell to put an e... (read in full...)
Any advice on how I can get this contraceptive implant removed??
Q. My mum forced me to have a contraceptive implant, and i now am desperate to have a baby with the love of my life. I want it removed, how do i go about this, i dont want to be judged since i recently had an abortion(against my wishes). I really r...
A. 12 February 2008: I think you're also the girl who spoke about how she was forced into abortion by her mother. Again, just go to the doctor. But don't become pregnant.... (read in full...)
I want a baby after I was forced into an abortion by my family. Will I feel this emptiness forever?
Q. in november i found out i was pregnant, i told my bf and he was sooooo happy, he was ready to be a man, look after me and the baby, this is something we had talked about for a long time, just felt we were too young. but then i became pregnant and we ...
A. 12 February 2008: First of all, my deepest sympathies to you. And there's nothing wrong with you. You have been through a lot.
Abortion is a very difficult subject, very likely to start a heated debate. I'm afraid that we could end up discussing abortion... (read in full...)
I married to help my family, but now I'm so unhappy! Help!
Q. I've been married for about a year and a half now.I was just 17 when i was married to my husband who were 30 years older than i am.We've met in a "Male Order Bride Agency"..i did that because of my familys financial problems and others. I wasn't his ...
A. 12 February 2008: You're not too sensitive. You are in a very difficult situation. You and your husband are different in terms of culture, language, and age (he could perfectly well be your father), but, to boot, you're also different in terms of what each one of ... (read in full...)
Why does he treat me so badly?
Q. My boyfriend has been treating me really bad and I don't know how to tell him how he's been treating me because whenever I try to tell him he gets mad. He never wants to talk unless we're having sex. If we're not having sex and I try to talk to him ...
A. 12 February 2008: Dear poster, it is his actions that count, not his words. If he changes, fine. If he says he will change, be on the alert. ... (read in full...)
I can't let this man go now he has awoken so much in me...what can we do??
Q. I have been married 9 years and have 2 children. I fell out of love with my husband long ago. I met someone else 6 months ago and he awoke something in me i didnt know i had anymore. I haven't slept with my husband in 3 years. I have kissed a...
A. 11 February 2008: Oh yes, you're entitled to be happy, too. What's more, I would say that a healthy parent will recognize this. You need to look after your children, but they can't meet your needs. They are not meant to. All too often, the parent who self denies ... (read in full...)
She said she still loved me but wanted a break? What did I do wrong?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going out for almost 2 years. About two weeks ago her mood changed drastically. She started being antagonistic and critical all the time. Last week she said she needed her space and time to think. She wants to figure ...
A. 11 February 2008: Wow. My hat is off a thousand times to Baby Duck! Bravo! This is perhaps the best advice I have seen on the site.
I just want to add one thing. A "bad" one. She's unlikely to come back. And, like Baby Duck said, you can't be put to wait. I... (read in full...)
I can't let this man go now he has awoken so much in me...what can we do??
Q. I have been married 9 years and have 2 children. I fell out of love with my husband long ago. I met someone else 6 months ago and he awoke something in me i didnt know i had anymore. I haven't slept with my husband in 3 years. I have kissed a...
A. 11 February 2008: Yes, good young eyeswideopen is right. Why can't you wait?
And a word of caution, dear poster. This is a general rule. Don't just settle for just anything anyone wants to give you. Maybe this is a good (if hesitant and insecure) man, one who ... (read in full...)
He seems to hate my daughter. What do I do?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 3 years. I have two daughters. One is ours and the other is mine from a previous boyfriend. I am starting to sense that he does not like her very much. We are always fighting about it. He calls ...
A. 11 February 2008: Good point, Waterloo Sunset: why does the poster have to leave, instead of just showing him the door?... (read in full...)
Why does he treat me so badly?
Q. My boyfriend has been treating me really bad and I don't know how to tell him how he's been treating me because whenever I try to tell him he gets mad. He never wants to talk unless we're having sex. If we're not having sex and I try to talk to him ...
A. 11 February 2008: Dear poster, I can only insist in my opinion. Leave him. I'm sure you can find accomodation elsewhere. Don't let him treat you like this.... (read in full...)
What do I do here for the best?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been acting a little bit off.. I moved out cuz there were conflicts, we lived with more people other then him and I, that's why there was conflicts, but now I live with my mother, and him and I talk online, and the only time ...
A. 11 February 2008: Well, he's coming back, but he's still a mean person and you should not let him take advantage. I would do as the anonymous poster recommended.... (read in full...)
Is it right to date a friend's ex?
Q. my best friend and her husband have been separated for about a month...she moved out and that leaves me and him living under the same roof. Recently me and him have been talkin a lot...and i'm up to the point where i'm atracted to him physically. ...
A. 11 February 2008: You should stay away from him. I think it wouldn't be nice if you slept with the husband of a friend who gave you a place to live. And then, he only separated from her. He has unfinished business with her. You might be his rebound. And you d... (read in full...)
He seems to hate my daughter. What do I do?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 3 years. I have two daughters. One is ours and the other is mine from a previous boyfriend. I am starting to sense that he does not like her very much. We are always fighting about it. He calls ...
A. 11 February 2008: I can't imagine how an adult can behave in such an immature way. I would understand if your girl, a 9 year old, stuck her tongue; and I would understand such behavior in him once in a while, as a game with a little child; but here the man is ... (read in full...)
How faithful are men really?
Q. this is 1 for the guys can a lepord really change its spots ? my bf has cheated and sent flirty messages to toher girls and met up with girls behind my back will he change like he says he will do or will this carrie on ? from a mans point of view i ...
A. 11 February 2008: Some of the posts here are offensive rather than informative, but they represent a point of view that many women share and we need to respect. Also, the purpose of this site is not that agony aunts and uncles get into debates of their own, for ... (read in full...)
I can't let this man go now he has awoken so much in me...what can we do??
Q. I have been married 9 years and have 2 children. I fell out of love with my husband long ago. I met someone else 6 months ago and he awoke something in me i didnt know i had anymore. I haven't slept with my husband in 3 years. I have kissed a...
A. 11 February 2008: We agony aunts and uncles give opinions on the basis of what people say. Sometimes the person giving the post fails to notice something, or then we give biased opinions, because in the end we're all human. I'm saying this because I know this is ... (read in full...)
How faithful are men really?
Q. this is 1 for the guys can a lepord really change its spots ? my bf has cheated and sent flirty messages to toher girls and met up with girls behind my back will he change like he says he will do or will this carrie on ? from a mans point of view i ...
A. 11 February 2008: It's difficult to give one answer to this question. We're like 3 billion men in the world, so on that basis alone it's impossible to generalize.
If you ask whether many men cheat, yes, that's true.
Will your guy change? Very unlikely, becaus... (read in full...)
What do I do here for the best?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been acting a little bit off.. I moved out cuz there were conflicts, we lived with more people other then him and I, that's why there was conflicts, but now I live with my mother, and him and I talk online, and the only time ...
A. 11 February 2008: I agree with the anonymous poster. I just would add that you should also try to move on. You see, he isn't talking about coming back, is he? He isn't even seeing you face to face. I think your time and your heart would be way better if they were ... (read in full...)
Why does he treat me so badly?
Q. My boyfriend has been treating me really bad and I don't know how to tell him how he's been treating me because whenever I try to tell him he gets mad. He never wants to talk unless we're having sex. If we're not having sex and I try to talk to him ...
A. 10 February 2008: Yep, I agree with the boys. He's a controlling type who is with you just for the sex. He doesn't need to be told he's mistreating you, because that he knows already.
He will continue this way for as long as you let him. I think you should l... (read in full...)
I can't let this man go now he has awoken so much in me...what can we do??
Q. I have been married 9 years and have 2 children. I fell out of love with my husband long ago. I met someone else 6 months ago and he awoke something in me i didnt know i had anymore. I haven't slept with my husband in 3 years. I have kissed a...
A. 10 February 2008: I hadn't seen your updates before I posted my opinion. Well, it seems you're on your way to divorce, and your husband knows.
Try to make your divorce as amicable as possible, and, specially, as easy on your children as possible. I am of the opin... (read in full...)
I can't let this man go now he has awoken so much in me...what can we do??
Q. I have been married 9 years and have 2 children. I fell out of love with my husband long ago. I met someone else 6 months ago and he awoke something in me i didnt know i had anymore. I haven't slept with my husband in 3 years. I have kissed a...
A. 10 February 2008: My opinion:
It seems clear that your marriage is beyond the point of no return: it's been three years without any intimate contact with your husband. That doesnt' happen easily. I wonder if your husband hasn't slept with anyone else; I honest... (read in full...)
I walked out of his home two weeks ago after he said he didn't want a dead relationship and he hasn't made any contact... do I ring him???
Q. I believe my relationship of 8 years is over. The past 2 years haven't been too good for either of us due to my belief that he was seeing someone else. I'm sure he had a fling but he made a lot of effort to keep us together. Alas my trust was not as ...
A. 27 July 2007: If you can get yourself to trust the man, and you won't go back to more of the same, do ring him.
He must love you, but he won't take you back unless there's a change. Would you take him back if you feared he would walk out of your home? So, tal... (read in full...)
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