A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has confided in me that his dad cheated on his mom while they were married and that was the cause of their divorce. My question is, is my boyfriend more likely to cheat on me in the future because he has been exposed to and influence by his dad. They are close, although they don't agree on everything and my boyfriend has stated that he doesn't approve of this behavior.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): My BF has a similar problem ... his mom cheated on his dad while married .. they got divorced tho ... she tried to go back to his father several times, but she always failed and cheated on him again and again and again.
My BF was really hurt by it. And now ... unfortunately he hates his mother!
His father never cheated tho .. and my BF is very loyal man and I know he wouldnt cheat on me ... most probably it has to do someting w his mother cheating and breaking the whole family over that ...
But than ..maybe .. if the father would let her do it .. and kept her in the house, while she is cheating .. than I do think my BF could be affacted in the opposite way and think "Its ok to cheat .. nothing will happen .. everything will be just fine" ... so yes, I do think it can have an affect
A
female
reader, poopie +, writes (12 March 2008):
My GUESS would be yes. Most likely Mom knew and tolerated it, so it was viewed upon as being acceptable. Children live what they learn
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (12 March 2008):
 It's not genetic. But growing up in a family where infidelity was going on can make someone more inclined to commit infidelity themselves. It can also make them very anti-infidelity and less likely to commit it themselves! In other words, focus on having a good relationship with your boyfriend and don't over-analyze his father and then project invented meaning onto your boyfriend because of it.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (11 March 2008):
 Hi,
infidelity is definitely not genetic.
However, children often mimic the behaviour of their parents just look at how abuse continues in a cycle from parent to child then to the next generation.
But in this case if your boyfriend has expressed his disapproval of his father's behaviour I think you are in safe hands. For some people their parents broken relationships merely reinforce the notion that people will cheat and there is little you can do about it so why not cheat myself. But your boyfriend has seen the effect it has had on his mother, I think it highly unlikely he will want to see that same look on you . You'll be fine. Good luck
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A
female
reader, Pinky XxX  +, writes (11 March 2008):
 It is quite likely that he won't cheat on anyone if he has experienced it through his parents splitting up but like 'danielepaw' said it's beyond your control and if he is faithful then he will not cheat. Also, the fact that he told you this in the first place means that he trusts you therefore he expects you to trust him back. Don't worry yourself. =]
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (11 March 2008):
 I think he'd be even more so against adultery after seeing his mother in pain and probably experiencing itself! Don't doubt your relationship just because your bf's father has made mistakes! Have faith!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (11 March 2008):
 Infidelity is not genetic. Borrowing from Eddie, someone who helps people here, it's a decision you make. The circumstances are beyond your control, but how you react to them is not. When you cheat, you decide to. If your boyfriend wants to stay faithful, he will.
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