A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm 25 and just started seeing a new guy. He is 30 and all of his friends are married. We went to a social gathering at a married friend's house. They were nice people and had great kids. I thought it was going great until the wife of the host started breast feeding. This did not bother me, she was covered up and the baby's gotta eat also. What did bother me was the remark my new guy made. He asked the baby if he could "get some of that" and said "I cant't sleep without the tit either". I thought this was inappropriate talk and disrespectful to say to another man's wife. Does anyone else agree with me talking about another man's wife's boobs should be off limits?
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (10 March 2008):
 Yes it was inappropriate and disrespectful. Have you brought it to his attention? If so, did he at least apologize? Some men are just rough around the edges especially when there's an exposed breast in the room. After this, I would just pay attention and see if he is indeed an ass, or just made a major blunder that one time. You'll know soon enough. Bad behavior will resurface and then you'll know it's part of his character.
A
female
reader, Melissa 1001 +, writes (10 March 2008):
This man will cause no end of problems in your life, find someone decent.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): Most definitely that was extremely disrespectful and rude. Breast feeding is natural and not something you sexualize with such disparaging remarks. If he was embarrassed, he is an adult. Old enough to choose to leave the room or keep his yap shut....plain and simple.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 March 2008):
 He sounds like a twit to me! Maybe there's a reason he's not married yet, while all his friends are...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): Those comments were totally inappropriate, whether breast feeding is common and necessary or not. They were totally uncalled for, and he should take your feelings into account when he makes comments like this. Why does he even think he can get away with it?! He shouldn't honey. But try not to let it get to you too much because I'm sure it never meant anything, or that he wanted her more than you. He was just careless and inconsiderate at the time. Tell him what you think about his comments, and then forget about it. You can't dwell on these things forever.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): Hi Hunny
Yea I agree with T.T.M, If its a bunch of good mates no probs! But its disrespectfull to you as you didnt no anyone and you were not expecting that, Plus breast feeding isnt really something of a sexual nature so he made abit of a tit of himself really hun TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): I think it was inappropriate only because you didn't know any of the people. If there were a lot of people there then it was crude. However, if the gathering was 2 or 3 couples, where everyone was good friends, then a comment like that would probably just get laughs. A lot of couples who are close friends will do that - make sexual comments. If there are strangers or the people don't know each other well then I consider it inappropriate.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (10 March 2008):
 Where I live, breast feeding takes place anywhere (even in churches, mind you). So we're sort of used to
a) a woman showing her boobs in public (they say they don't, but I don't think anyone will believe them)
b) their covering their bosom with small blankets
c) people who look at the mother, in similar hopes as the ones described here, and make similar comments.
So I think that, bearing this in mind
a) breast feeding should not happen in public (I have a lifetime of experience on this)
b) if it happens, the right behavior is simply not to say a word and leave the place. Unless you can't, like when you visit a mother who just delivered her baby and she decides to breast feed while still in the hospital room.
I also think it was disrespectful to make those comments. Though we know everyone has eyes, you should not make any comments about anyone who is involved with a friend or relative of yours. It was disrespectful for the husband, for the wife, and for the poster. Again, you have eyes, but you need to learn when to keep your mouth shut.
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A
female
reader, unbound88 +, writes (10 March 2008):
 Yes that comment from him was totally un-called-for and you were justified in feeling offended by it. If I were the mother, I would have been offended too! I agree with hello1 - breastfeeding is not a sexual thing and not to be mocked. Your boyfriend was definitely out of line and he should have ignored the breastfeeding mother entirely!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): I wouldnt of liked it either. I used to know a bloke who had to say something, no matter where we went of what the situation, they have to speak even if it is total crap! But it is bloody annoying, so let him know the next time that you thought his remarks were crap, please dont put up with it because you are trying to keep in with him, new relationship etc. My dad used to say; if you cant say anything nice then keep your gob shut. Point taken.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Dawnie  +, writes (10 March 2008):
 Yes it was inappropriate talk and showed immaturity on your b/f's part. I wonder if perhaps he was embarrassed and that was his silly way of dealing with it, sometimes people can say the most stupid things when they are uncomfortable with something. However breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world and i don't suppose the mother was impressed by his comment. Maybe you could say to him that you did not like the comment he made and leave it at that.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (10 March 2008):
 Perhaps your guy was embarrassed about the breast feeding and try to alleviate the situation by humor? Has he made any other comments that make you doubt his social sense?
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A
female
reader, lushlass93 +, writes (10 March 2008):
 hi
i think you are right this is disgracful behaivour i think breast feeding is a natural thing in wich a mother and child have as a bond if your man said this you should tell him what you think i hope he didnt offfend the woman involved
and im wondering why her husband didnt stick uo for her i am feeling for this woman
its perfectly natural
bye
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A
male
reader, welshblood +, writes (10 March 2008):
It depends how long they have been friends, it might be that they have known each other for so long that comments like that are seen in jest rather than offensive. if they haven't been friends for long then it could be seen as offensive to the lady breast feeding or others around( just as you saw it offensive)and nobody said anything. its not the wisest thing to say i agree but i would remind him of what he said and see what his reaction is he might not of thaught it was bad at the time but may go on to regret it.
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A
female
reader, hello1 +, writes (10 March 2008):
 Yes! Comments like that shouldn't be said who ever it is. Breast feeding isn't a sexual thing and something to mock. But maybe as their freinds, thats what they find funny? did the woman find it offensive? If not then that what obviously works for them but I don't blame you for not liking it.
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A
female
reader, annonymous111 +, writes (10 March 2008):
 I agree it was inappropriate, however he may have said this silly remark to cover his embarrassment at the wife breast feeding. Some people find being in the company of breastfeeding woman uncomfortable and this may have been the case with your fella.Explain how you feel to him and tell him he was inappropriate. He'll probably agree with you. Perhaps he could send some flowers as a way of an apology.
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