A
female
age
36-40,
*b999
writes:I recently found some porn pictures of nude female models in pictures by themselves and a couple of videos of girls undressing on my boyfriend's computer. We have been dating almost 2 years, and from the time I met him he has always told me that he does not masturbate and does not watch porn. I have never found porn on his computer before and we have a very honest and open relationship. When I asked him about it he said that he is just a man and curious but was not looking at the pictures in a sexual manner. I asked him if he became aroused or masturbated to the images and he said no, that he was not looking at the pictures in that way. We have a very active sexual life and have sex at least 4-5 times a week. I believe myself to be very attractive and constantly am hit on. He's constantly telling me how sexually attracted and in love he is with me and cannot get aroused by other women. So, my question is, is it possible that he really does not masturbate? And, also, is it possible for a man to look at nude images and not get aroused and/or masturbate? Oh and another thing, the images and videos were not with people engaging in sexual activity, they were just pictures of nude women and videos of nude women.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2009): I've found porn on my boyfriends computer… he masturbates to it… it's cool w/ me (i guess)…lucky for me it's the same kind of porn that your man looks at…pretty tame stuff…just be happy that he doesn't have some freaky fetish…porn is separate from you and the two are not linked together…no matter what tho, it's hard not to feel a little jealous :p maybe slip in a naughty picture of yourself ;)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2008): yes its possible, just like its possible
-the pope doesnt wear a funny hat!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 How can you be so presumptuous to say he masturbates to those nude pixs?
Are you him or are you God?
Just because you may have done it , does not mean that he also does.
Your logic is like , once a thief, then everyone is a thief in your eyes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): Of course he masturbates to those pictures, he is just saying what he thinks you want to hear. You need him to be honest. If it helps think of it like this: Have you ever (honestly) masturbated to erotic images yourself? If you did, did you feel as though you had been unfaithful? Of course not! When you then saw your lovely boyfriend I bet your heart melted and you couldn't wait to feel the warmth of his living and cherished flesh. First, make it OK for him to tell you about this. Recognise that everyone has a private place they go to and you can't own all his thoughts. Negotiate and say how you feel and what you would prefer. Get a compromise but most of all understanding. Think, what terrible thing do I think will happen as a result of this? Is he likely to leave you for a nude picture? Don't think so! It is so easy to get offended, I really do know! I would find my boyfriend less sexually appealing if I though he was trawling the net for real girls undressing, or using phone sex. The way your boyfriend behaves affects the way you feel about him so he has an interest in listening to you and respecting how you feel. You do have some influence.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (16 March 2008):
And, also, is it possible for a man to look at nude images and not get aroused and/or masturbate?
[Unquote]
Not all men are the same.
It depends on a man's sexual drive.
If he is highly sexed, he maybe aroused and whether he will
masturbate or not depends on other factors as well.
If he has an active sex life, he has no reasons to masturbate to those pictures.
The real thing is much better than those static pictures.
If he has no sex life, then probably he would masturbate to those nude pixs.
Some men like to look at nude pictures because it is an art form.
They are not perverts.
He is telling the truth. Why would he lie?
Even if he did masturbate, it is not wrong because a man needs some visuals to help him release his sexual tensions when he has no partners.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (16 March 2008):
 Anonymous poster: You're great. Yeah, we can believe that someone actually reads Playboy. "Playboy worms", should we call 'em?
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A
female
reader, yeahsureyoubetcha +, writes (16 March 2008):
 No, I think he does masturbate. I think he just thinks you will not understand that masturbating is no big deal and has nothing to do with you or your relationship.
I have never met a man who does not masturbate and I doubt I ever will.
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (15 March 2008):
 Danielepew couldn't have put it better. The female body is beautiful. It's like going into a man's place of work and seeing a nude calendar up on the wall. The models are attractive but having them there doesn't detract how he feels about you. It just shows he's a hot blooded healthy male. If it was affecting your relationship and your sex life then yes, I would have cause for concern but it's not so I certainly wouldn't worry about it.
~Eve~
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2008): Right... sure it is possible for a man to look at images of naked men and not get arroused. IF HE IS DEAD!
Geez... what next, read playboy for the articles?
It sounds like this upsets you. Fine, do watch chick flicks and think the male lead is hot? Same deal, no nudie picks for him, no chick flicks for you.
It is possibly he don't masturbate, especially if he has sex with you, but not get arroused, well then why on earth should he want to see the pics? Curious? About what, he can examine your body up close and personal and once you seen one porn actress you seen them all, I should know, I seen them all :/
No, he is just lying because a lot of women, including you, have a hangup about porn and masturbation. Let it go.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (15 March 2008):
Good question. I will try to do my best to answer.
It is possible for a man not to masturbate to porn. However, I don't think that is likely. If you will allow me some license in my example, it's like seeing pictures of food but never having the intention of actually eating. You look at porn because you want to get aroused, and you want to get aroused because you want to enjoy sex. So, while it is possible that he doesn't masturbate, I don't think he doesn't get aroused by it (and I doubt he's never actually masturbated to porn).
On the other hand, strange as it might seem to you, that doesn't mean he doesn't find you attractive, or he doesn't enjoy sex with you, or you don't turn him on, or he isn't in love with you, or whatever. He looked at porn and kep the images because he liked them. For him, since they are nothing but binary numbers in the computer's memory, they don't mean a thing about you.
I'm sure he was trying not to worry you when he said he doesn't look at porn as a sexual thing. Yeah, right. How on earth can you look at porn if not "as a sexual thing"? That said, I insist that it doesn't mean he finds fault with you at all.
I suppose he kept the porn like people sometimes keep photos of the movie stars they like.
You have done nothing wrong. I'm sure the porn upsets you, but, believe him when he says he finds you sexually attractive. The frequency of sex is witness to that.
When women ask about porn, I always feel that I don't really hit the nail. I would like to convey the message that usually men don't think porn is that important, and that looking at porn most of the time doesn't have anything at all to do with the quality of the relationship you have with a girl. Sometimes I feel girls would need to be men to really see it.
That said, my opinion is that you shouldn't get this fact disrupt your relationship. I'm sure he loves you to bits. I had a girlfriend who had a crush on Jean Claude van Damme. I don't look at all like him. But I found her crush to be nearly innocent, so I didn't let that disturb me. I recommend you do the same.
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A
female
reader, siobhankay +, writes (15 March 2008):
 thats really not that bad loads of people just look at shiz and don't touch themselves , maybe he's just interested in bodys
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