A
male
age
30-35,
*gonyunclechris
writes:people at school keep calling me gay. relating me to everything gay. they don't stop. they are getting nasty now . i have become the class joke HOWEVER I AM NOT GAY. i feel almost suicidal and if other people didn't need help i would have done the foolish act by nowPLEASE HELP .love and light .chris Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): I also want to say this...please don't commit suicide. It's hard to see now but high school is just a blip on the radar screen of life, this too shall pass! Trust me when I say that it won't be like this forever. You sound like a very caring person, don't deprive the world of that caring, if you were to end it now think of all the people who won't be helped over an entire lifetime otherwise. You wouldn't just be killing a 16 year old, you'd be killing a potential 25, 35, and 75 year old who will do a lot of good in this world.
EVERYTHING changes after high school, believe me. Some people who you think will be wildly successful will be just mediocre, some people who get A's will work a boring desk job, and some of the people who get C's will be successful entrepreneurs. Don't close the book of your life prematurely, you have a lot of living left and soon this will all seem like a distant memory.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (11 March 2008):
 Some people need someone to be their victim. Refuse to be it. I know it's not that easy, but don't just take the blows.
When I was in school there was one guy everyone teased about being gay. He took all the blows and said nothing, until everyone stopped bothering him. I don't recommend taking all the blows, but I do recommend ignoring the comments. And perhaps a little of what the anonymous poster said, if things get off limits. People won't just stop making a victim of you unless they have a reason to.
I would disagree with getting someone to act as your girlfriend. Get yourself a real girlfriend or don't get anyone. Her feelings would be important too. And, if she acted as your girlfriend and people knew about it, you would be much worse off.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): The key here is confidence, you may not feel it now but if you act as if you have confidence you eventually will have it. When people say such things to you just shake your head and move on. If you stop reacting they'll stop pushing your buttons. Identify your allies, or at least those in your classes that don't engage in the teasing, then engage them in conversation about that particular class or some other subject, then when someone comes by and makes a slur against you just look at them like "WTF?" and then shake your head and say to the person you were talking about something like, "It's interesting that the most homophobic people often come out of the closet later in life," then continue your original topic or talk about some other unrelated subject. Blow it off after that, believe me, after a couple of weeks of that kind of reaction from you and they'll stop.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): You know, I got bullied a little in high-school. It was never too major, and it was easy to just avoid those persons outside of class because we never hing out around the same area anyway.
I hear people say that ignoring them ends it. But it doesn't. It never did for me. And it won't for you. They will most likely take your silence for what it is, a pathetic attempt at fighting them off.
I only stopped getting bullied when two of these idiots tried to team up on me in the P.E. change-rooms before class. We were the only ones there at the time and they thought they'd be smart. One tried to attack from behind and I turned like lighting, grabbed the fat fuck and threw him to the ground, my fists ready to fly and start laying into him.
I stopped. I didn't start punching. Everything I needed to say was in a single movement.
I must have scared the shit out of them because they got one of their friends to try and bother me during the class. But they never tried anyhting else after that. While they never lost an opportunity to try and insult me if we crossed each other outside of class once more, it kind of died out.
What was I supposed to do? Ignore them and let them beat on me? No. That never works. If they don't get a response via their insults they will force it out of you with their fists if they have to.
So either find the biggest and baddest of these dickheads and get him alone and beat the ever-living shit out of them. Or you could start a rumour about them becing closet gay.
Flynn 24
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (10 March 2008):
 Hi,
as an ex teacher I can tell you bullying is bullying no matter how old you are. Tell your headteacher, and failing that the only thing you can really do is totally ignore them. Don't give any response at all, eventually people move on when the bait does not bite.
The person who is loudest in their condemnation of you I guarantee you will see in the future at the gay pride parade with a bowl of fruit resting on his head doing the samba.
Or alternatively of course, have you thought about asking a girl out at your school?
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A
male
reader, Uncle Trev +, writes (10 March 2008):
Usually people who become slanderous like this with gay accusations often have gay issues themselves and find it difficult to deal with. These people often have homosexual feelings and hate this so they lash out at any target they can find.
As "hello1" has said report this to the year head - the headmaster and anybody else in authority who are in a position to do something about it.
I just wish life was as simple as DoubleM has put it but I sense in your position this solution would be an impossible one for you. Even if you did hire yourself a makeshift girlfriend they would find something else to have a go at you with.
Quite frankly your so called classmates are bullying you and this needs dealing with immediately.
You certainly do not want to do anything foolish or anything else that could cause yourself harm - if you do this they have won and the last thing you need to do is to let them win.
Just report them to the staff and the governors - if there is no joy report them to the police and if the school do nothing report the school to OFSTED.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (10 March 2008):
 My suggestion would be to get a girlfriend, or at least make friends with a girl and hang with her a lot. You might even be able to get a girl you know to "act" like a girlfriend for awhile, a bit of kissing and hand holding and stuff. I never really had that problem back in my school days (long ago), but I would suppose that hanging with girls would be a way to stymie the rumors.
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A
female
reader, hello1 +, writes (10 March 2008):
 Tell the head of year, this is bullying. They know your not gay and it winds you up so that's why their doing it. Seriously tell the head of year
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